Baby Sitting
by Teeny Tiny Twilight
Summary: Was a short story.Charlie leaves on official duty one night,and calls Officer Edward Cullen in to watch Bella incase of a problem. Love soon ensues. There will be lemons later. Lots of them. All Human. Can find this story in The Writer's Coffee Shop . com
1. Chapter 1

**Baby Sitting**

**Teeny Tiny Twilight**

"I'll see you tomorrow Bells," Charlie growled, putting on his leather jacket, "There's been some kind of disturbance." He muttered angrily, zipping up his coat in one rough movement.

"Okay," I called, turning back towards the bottom of the stairs. "I'm going back to bed. And be careful!" I called over my shoulder as an after thought.

"Yeah, I know." He grunted, disappearing. I heard him grumble something about women and babying .

I laughed quietly, going back up the stairs. "Oh! Bella?" Charlie shouted, coming back in through the door.

I peeked my head back down to look at him, my hair falling over my shoulder, still damp from my shower. "Yeah, dad?"

"Officer Cullen in going to come over to watch you while I'm out. Would you mind waiting up to let him in?"

I frowned, "Dad, I really doubt anyone would be stupid enough to come to the _chief of Police_'s house to start something." I said, eyeing the badge on his jacket as evidence of my statement.

Charlie flushed, "Yes, well, better safe then sorry."

I sighed, "Bye dad. I'll wait up for Officer Cullen, watch a movie or something." I muttered the last of it more to myself then Charlie, but he nodded anyways and after a quick goodbye was gone again.

I squatted down, looking at Charlie's limited movie collection. Only old VHS tapes. Most of them the barren remains of my baby days here.

My hand hovered over a Disney movie, something Charlie had bought for me when I was younger. I felt a small smile pull at my lips as I remembered it. Then blushed at the thought of Officer Cullen, coming in to see me curled up watching Aladdin.

He must already think I was pathetic. Probably a little peeved that he wasn't out where the action was with the rest of the Police force.

I toyed idly with a movie in my hand, thinking. I did not think he would be _mean_, but I was sure he was not going to be happy. I put the tape back, if he wanted to watch something he could. Instead, I went back to the couch to lie down, yawning.

Poor Charlie, getting called out in the middle of the night because some kid decided to be juvenile. Probably egged a house, or walk on someone's grass. I snorted at the thought of anything going down in forks. The strictest punishment to be dealt out here is probably a phone call home to mom.

I yawned again and closed my eyes. Officer Cullen could not take _that_ much longer to get here, and the knock on the door would wake me if I did fall asleep before he came…

I woke up warm and comfortable, the sound of a TV playing on a low volume in the background. I should not have been warm though, I had never grabbed a blanket before lying down, not wanting to lull my self any closer to sleep, and my neck should have been stiff from the couch.

The TV of course was a dead give away that something was out of place. I did not watch TV, and Charlie had gone out for the night, a disturbance of some sort…

Some thing touched my hair, and my eyes snapped open. The old quilt that was usually on my bed was draped over me carefully—even tucked around my feet so my toes wouldn't be cold—and my head rested against denim jeans.

I gasped, sitting up too quickly. My terrified brown eyes met startled green ones. "Oh, you're awake." The eyes commented.

I screamed.

Jumping up off the couch, I made a run for the phone in the kitchen.

"No, wait!" A male voice yelled after me. It turns out the voice came along with a hand, which at that second wrapped around my wrist, stopping my escape and spinning me around to face him.

The voice not only came with hands—the other one wrapping around my other wrist and bringing them together like shackles—but it also came along with a head of messy reddish-brown hair.

"Relax. It's okay. I'm not going to hurt you," his velvet voice soothed quietly.

The voice reflected his face. He was beautiful, even for a man. His eyes were wide and green, his features naturally soft looking balancing out the sharp edge of his jaw. His skin was a golden colour that was rare in a place as sunless as forks.

I brought my knee up into his groin, the only self-defence I could remember at the moment. His already large green eyes widened further and a strange choking sound escaped his throat before his head dropped onto my shoulder in a gasp of pain.

He pulled both my wrists into one hand and used his free arm to support himself against his leg as he breathed through his nose and out through his mouth. "Nice kick," he gasped in between breaths.

I went to do it again, hoping to actually free myself this time, but he stopped my knee, "Oh no, not again you don't." The strange man who had broken into my house muttered.

After another second, he straightened back up, taking a deep breath, "Mind if I introduce myself?" he held out his hand with out an answer, "Edward Cullen, I'm here to keep an eye on you."

My eyes widened, "_Officer_ Edward Cullen?" I asked, and then bit my lip wondering if he would get me in trouble for assaulting a police officer. I'm sure Charlie would just _love _that.

He nodded, putting his hand back down to his side, evidently realising that I was not going to try and attack him again. I took a step back, away from him, once I had been released from his restraining iron grasp.

I let my eyes roam over what he was wearing quickly, a plain dark shirt with buttons running down the front with average blue jeans.

"Well, how was I supposed to know? Your not wearing a uniform." I tried to defend myself, a blush creeping up my cheeks.

He sighed, running a hand through his hair. "I'm technically off duty, just babying sitting for twenty-four dollars an hour." He grinned crookedly at me.

I was momentarily transfixed by his smile, spellbound so I could not so much as breath while his lips pulled to the side, displaying the corner of one white tooth.

"Oh," I finally managed looking away. I rubbed my wrist trying to get the blood flowing again.

Something occurred to me belatedly, "How did you get in? I thought the door was locked." I narrowed my eyes suspiciously. What if he _was_ a dangerous criminal? He just claimed to be a police officer, but had no uniform or identification of any kind to prove it.

"The key under the eave, Charlie told me about it before I came over."

My eyes narrowed still, I took another step back. "How do I know you _are_ Edward Cullen?" I asked, still suspicious.

Taking a leather pouch from his pocket, he raising his hands above his head as if he was being held at gunpoint, but he grinned at me. He let the top half of the leather fall, revealing his badge.

I looked it over carefully only to be disappointed in finding it was legitimate."Oh," I mumbled again, dropping my gaze.

He chuckled, putting the badge back in his pocket. "I'm guessing your Isabella Swan, or perhaps I should ask for identification." His eyes narrowed playfully, "You could be a criminal."

I rolled my eyes, "Yea, you got me, I feel asleep while looting the place out."

He grinned a crocked smile so beautiful it left me tongue-tied, "At least you're honest."

I laughed breathlessly, a blush burning it's way up my face.

"You probably want to go bed, Isabella, it's late. Unless of course you would like to stay up with me?"

"Bella," I said quickly, "And I wouldn't mind staying up with you; I don't think I could get to sleep anyways." I glared at him teasingly. It was the complete truth, my heartbeat sang strong and fast in my chest.

I sat back down on the couch and he sat beside me. He sat so close that his leg was touching mine, and I could feel the heat from his skin through my own cotton pyjama pants. "Aren't you tired?" I asked him, looking at the clock.

Just over three in the morning. "No," he answered, smiling at me, "I'm a special bread of vampire called an insomniac. Scientists confirmed it."

"Darn scientists, taking all the fun out of being undead."

He chuckled, looking back to the TV.

I pretended to watch the TV too, while I was actually watching him in my peripheral vision. I would cast glances at him out of the corner of my eye, examining him through the screen of my hair.

He laughed suddenly, looking at me, "You still don't trust me?"

"What?"

"I can see you looking at me, Bella." he raised an eyebrow at me.

I blushed furiously, "I trust you," I muttered lowly.

"Really?" he asked, not sounding at all convinced.

I nodded, still blushing. When he still didn't look convinced I huffed. "Do I have to prove it?"

"Yes."

I looked up at him, shocked. He laughed lowly, waiting for whatever brilliant act that would prove that I trusted him enough not to be some soft of deadly felon.

I hesitantly took his hand, and then rested it so his palm cupped my neck. "You probably know how to kill me with your pinkie." I joked half heartedly. "Does this prove I trust you?"

Slowly, so as not to frighten me, he raised his other hand to brush a piece of hair behind my ear. Where his hand touched, my skin burned, sending tingling warmth through out my body. My breath started to come in shorter gasps and my palms started to sweat. I expected him to drop his hand and laugh, but his face was solemn, his eyes smouldering as he placed his hand gently against the other side of my face.

Slowly, he brought his face to mine, stopping just inches away, "How old are you?" he whispered against my lips. I could smell his breath, warm and sweet against my skin.

I had to ressemble my scattered thoughts, because at the moment, I did not know my own name. "18…I think?"

"Thank God."

And then his lips were on mine. My body caught fire, as his hands braided in my hair. His lips parted mine and he slipped his tongue into my mouth, caressing, exploring, sucking gently on me, and tracing the velvety liner of my mouth.

I moaned, pulling on his hair, trying to bring myself closer to him. His hand traced itself down my spine and my body arched into him.

He laid me gently on the couch so I was under him, he didn't break the kiss. His hand brushed the underside of my breast.

An electric shock ran through me suddenly and I gasped, my eyes fluttering open. Instinctively, I shoved against the alarming feeling, pushing him off me. Then he was gone.

There was a loud thump from beside the couch, and a low _whoosh_ing of air. Surprised I peeked my head over the edge and peered at him nervously.

He was clenching and unclenching his hand, testing it. He looked curious—_awed—_by something I couldn't see. He caught my eyes and for a second he smiled at me. Shocked and embarrassed I couldn't find the muscles in my face to smile back.

His smile faded as he watched me. Then he got up off the floor looking embarrassed with himself and very much like he wanted to kick himself.

I stood too, looking down too and blushing madly as my heart beat out an eccentric rhythm. Was that really my first kiss? With a stranger no less. I didn't even know how old he was.

A low chuckle caught my attention. I looked up shyly, my hair falling from its variable place behind my ear, falling into my face as I considered how libidinous I was coming off as.

"I don't think I'm doing so well at proving I'm not some sick prowler preying on young women." He grinned sheepishly, reflecting my thoughts. When he misread the shock on my face he quickly added "Really, I'm not."

"How old are you?" I blurted out. His previous words echoed through my mind, _how old are you?_ He of course had asked for a different reason, in a different way.

He rubbed the back of his neck, looking up at me from under his lashes. "Twenty-three."

I took a step back. "Really?" I tried to sound calm, but I didn't think he was fooled by my put on nonchalance.

When Edward spoke again, his voice was soft, and he took a small step towards me. "Let's start again. Hello, I'm Officer Edward Cullen. It's nice to meet you." He held out his hand to me.

I hesitantly shook his hand, looking at him wearily, "If we're starting over, do I get to kick you again?" I smiled to show him I was kidding.

I was impressed by his ability to defuse the awkwardness of the whole situation. I felt like a moron for having prompted the kiss in the first place. At least he knew I trusted him now.

Edward grimaced anyways, "Let's skip that particular point of the night."

I grinned at him momentarily before glancing at the clock in the kitchen. Despite my recent nap, I was tired. "It's late; I think I'll go to bed."

Edward nodded, "I'll come with you."

"_Excuse me?_"

Edward's skin darkened and he tripped over his words trying to correct himself, "Oh no, not like….I only meant to secure the area."

I stared at him, trying to gage his motives. He smiled innocently. "That's okay," I said slowly, still watching him wearily, "I think I'll live."

Edward grimaced again. "Please? I'll get in trouble if I don't do my job."

"You'll get in trouble if you _do_ do your job." I muttered, but I didn't stop him when he followed me into my room.

I waited in the doorway as he checked around. He was very thorough, even checking under my bed and in my closet. It reminded me of when Renee used to check under my bed for the boogie man. I felt a smile pulling at the corners of my lips.

"Find anything?" I asked pleasantly.

Edward grinned at me, "Lots of dirty laundry, a few dust bunnies, and a book or two."

"Thank you for saving me from those terrifying dust bunnies." I rolled my eyes.

Edward chuckled for a moment before he rested one hand on my shoulder. It combusted on contact. "Thank _you_ for not giving too much trouble about this." He murmured, gesturing behind him with out breaking eye contact. His eyes smouldering into mine.

"No problem." I squeaked.

He continued to look at me, and I was very aware of his hand moving from my shoulder to cup my neck. "So I'm guessing a kiss goodnight is out." He whispered his eyes half lidded. He leaned his head in a bit, tilting his head.

My heart raced against my breathing. Goose bumps erupted across my skin. "Totally out of the question." I agreed in a murmur, my eyes closing.

When his lips touched mine they were soft and very, very warm. My arms slowly came of their own accord to twin in his hair. Edward's tongue came out the lightly trace my bottom lip. My stomach flipped, and acting on a long ingrained instinct, I opened my mouth to him.

Edward hesitantly touched his tongue to mine. My legs were turning into jell-o, but I refused to relinquish his lips even to suck in a much needed breath of air. I sucked his tongue greedily into my mouth, trying to get him to kiss me harder, like before on the couch.

He groaned and for one second his hand braided into my hair while its brother pressed against the small of my back, bowing me into him. Then he pulled away, gasping for air.

I was breathing hard too. His hand, previously pressing me tightly against his body disappeared.

I touched my tingling lips, "Wow." I murmured, and then blushed when I realized he heard me.

He grinned, shrugging. "Is there any chance I could tuck you into bed?" he asked with playful hopefulness.

"Goodnight, Edward." I grinned, closing the door. I stared at it for a moment before locking it. Then I climbed into bed.

There must have been an electric current jumping through Edward's body that was somehow transmitted into mine. I could feel every nerve ending like a live wire, every sight and sound stood out with startling clarity. I could feel the electricity quivering, jolting through me, tugging my towards the door where some higher instinct knew Edward still stood, maybe watching the door like I did.

Finally after a lingering moment, I heard the distinct sound of his footsteps on the stairs. They dragged, slower then I expected them to be. I took a deep breath and forced my eyes closed. His face danced behind my lids.

---- ----- ----- ----- ----- ----- ----- ----- ----- ----- ------ ------ ------ ----- ------ ------ ----- ----- ----

When I woke up the next day—racing down the stairs—and found no one waiting on the couch, sleeping off his night of insomnia, I felt a disappointment so fierce it pulled at my heart, my lungs, even my stomach, weighing them all down.

Charlie greeted me tiredly, "How was your night?" he asked, taking a long drink of last night's stale coffee. He didn't look like he was paying particular attention, so I thought it safe to lie a little.

I shrugged casually, digging through the fridge for some milk to go with my cereal. "Pretty uneventful. Edward—Officer Cullen was nice."

Charlie nodded, taking his mug that he had been given from Harry clear water as a joke gift. _Bacon bites back_ it read in thick dark text with a pig in a police uniform in the background. "Yes, he's a nice kid. Bright too." He emptied his mug then rinsed it out quickly before donning his uniform again. "Have a nice day at school kid." He called.

I grinned after him, "See you later."

School was the same as it always was except for my thoughts that were presently consumed with last night's adventure. It wasn't until I had gone to bed that night, my eyes drifting closed that I was startled awake by a soft tap on my window.

I looked up, groggily. A pair of wide green eyes blinked at me though the window. I blinked back. Maybe I _had_ fallen asleep. What an odd dream to have.

I got up and went to the window, opening it. The cold, damp night air raised goose bumps on my exposed arms. Half way through opening the window it groaned loudly, screeching up into the latch that kept it open.

Charlie's snores stuttered, then halted from his room. We both froze. The beautiful bronze haired boy looked down at the drop before looking back at a tree that was too far away for him to reach in his current position, though I guess that's what he had used to climb up to my window in the first place. He looked back at the ground and took a deep breath, preparing himself for the drop.

"Get in!" I hissed, pulling on his arm. I wasn't going to take the chance of waking up from my dream and actually finding Edward mangled on the ground outside my window.

He smoothly pulled himself in through my window, and then looked around panicky. I pushed him towards my closet. "Are you serious?" he hissed in a whisper.

My door swung open and Edward disappeared into the closet. Charlie turned the light on, blinking tiredly. I squinted at the light. "Bella?" Charlie asked, wiping his eyes. It came out as more of a gurgle.

"Sorry dad. I was too hot." I nodded towards the open window.

Charlie nodded, yawning again. Then he woke up a little, "Looking for something in your closet?"

I looked. I was facing my closet. "Uh, yes. I was just looking for…" I reached in. Edward grabbed the first thing he touched, handing it to me with wide apprehensive eyes. I took what he gave me and held it up for Charlie's inspection.

He raised an eyebrow at me, "Why did you need a sock at," he glanced at the clock by my bedside. "One in the morning?"

I laughed weakly, throwing the balled up sock as hard as I could at Edward's head without making Charlie suspicious. "I don't think I was really awake when I was doing it."

Charlie yawned, "I don't think I'm awake now." He grumbled, ambling out of my room fatigued.

I smiled, waving Charlie goodnight. When he flicked the light off and closed the door again I turned on Edward, "Why in the world would I be looking for a _sock_?" I hissed.

"Same reason you have a police officer in your closet." He hissed back.

I stared at him for a moment, then moved so he could get out of my closet. When he had cleared the low shelf he stood at his full height, stretching his arms up. I had to let my head fall back to see his face he was so tall. "Why are you here?" I whispered. I moved back so I didn't feel so diminutive next to him.

He shrugged, looking out the window in a distracted way that made me wonder what he was really thinking about. "I couldn't sleep, so I decided to go for a walk."

I crossed my arms, "And you happened to walk up Charlie's tree?"

He chuckled lowly, "I saw your house. I really did consider taking the front door but Charlie would probably ask questions."

"Probably."

There was an awkward pause. Edward shoved his hands into his pockets, rocking back on his heals. "So I noticed you were having trouble sleeping."

I grinned, "Probably because you were staring at me."

"I'm too stealthy, you wouldn't have known." He winked playfully.

My answering smiled was interrupted by a vast yawn that made my jaw pop. Edward eyes turned soft. Gently he steered me towards the bed, "Sleep now, Bella. Sorry to have bothered you."

"I don't mind. Not really." I smiled at him. The goodnight kiss from the previous evening consumed my thoughts. It was cancerous, a thought in the back of my mind that spread, consuming, subduing any and all other thoughts that didn't involve Edward in some way.

Edward looked at me for so long, I wondered if I was having a dream. The dizzy feeling of coming in and out of consciousness resembled how my head spun now. My heart beat loudly, drumming franticly in my chest.

"Can I…would you mind, very much, if I stayed? Just for a bit, I'll be gone by morning." He asked, looking up at me hopefully through his lashes. When he looked at me like that, it was hard to remember that he was five years older then me, that he had graduated high school and had really lived. It was far too easy—dangerously easy—to feel like he was a classmate, someone I had interacted with and known for much longer then I had.

I exhaled the breath I hadn't even been conscious of holding. That would explain for the dizzying feeling. And nodded my head in the dark.

"Thank you." He breathed, relief saturating his every word more thoroughly then I had thought plausible. It made me wonder what had really brought him to my house tonight.

He walked quickly, silently, perfectly lithe, to the door and turned the lock with a deep resounding click that sounded so much louder in the darkness then it really was. I wonder what I had gotten myself into, if I had unwittingly agreed to something more then his words had suggested. I remembered again the relief in his voice when I had given him consent. Flashes of his body on top of mine, naked, smooth, warm, flashed through my mind and I thought I had found my answer.

I was almost excited, warmth pooling between my legs, my stomach clenching deliciously in anticipation. He paused at the door, not turning around to look at me when he explained himself. "Just a forewarning." He murmured, turning around then to smile at me.

Oh. Disappointment crashed down on me more fiercely then I would have expected. He was going to stay, but he wanted to have time to hide if Charlie decided to check on me again. That was all. My previous hope seemed silly now. Of course we wouldn't do anything. For one, all he had done was kiss me, and just twice. For another Charlie was in easy hearing distance.

And he was five years older. That would be like boiling live puppies here in the small town of forks. A taboo.

The image of Edward on top of me, moaning my name into my hair, gasping with each thrust—silly, but oh so tempting—wormed it's way into my head.

My cheeks were burning—though he wouldn't see that in the dark room—when he paused near my bed. His eyes flickered quickly between the bed and the rocking chair in the corner from my baby days. Just from the light from the moon outside, I could see how his eyes smoldered when he glanced at the bed, and then me in it. He pursed his lips, and then stepped towards the rocking chair. Though the movement was smooth, perfect, it looked unwilling, resigned.

I sat up and moved back from the edge of the bed. The movement caught Edward's attention; he looked back at me, his expression puzzled as to what I was implying. I smiled shyly—my cheeks burning fiercely—and patted the space of bed I had surrendered for him.

Edward smiled back at me. He walked to the bed, but did not climb in as I expected him to. Instead he knelt by my head. "You would let a stranger into your bed?" he asked softly. "Are you really that trusting?"

I bit my lip, looking down at the wrinkled sheets, softly tracing patterns in them with my finger. "You don't feel strange to me."

He smiled again, his eyes soft, the jade turned liquid. Then he stood and kicked his shoes off under my bed. He climbed into bed with me, pulling the sheets up over us. His hair fanned out into a small bronze hallow around his head, it shone in the soft light. An angel cast from heaven to walk among the mortals.

His angel's eyes were cautious, his arm snaked hesitantly around my waist. I smiled when I recognized what he wanted. I moved in closer to him, wrapping my own arms around his waist. I lay my head against his chest, listening to the even flow of his breath, and the uneven drumming of his heart.

When he spoke I could hear the sound resonating through his chest, "How would you feel about staying over at my house? I know the police have a conference soon in New York. I haven't been on the force long enough to be considered acceptable to attend…I'm sure it would settle Charlie's nerves too, knowing that you were staying with someone. He was talking about skipping it. Doesn't want you alone in the house for three days." His voice was persuasive, not helping my already scattered thoughts. I was too preoccupied with other images that flashed through my head. Staying at his house? My stomach flipped.

"So that's why I didn't hear about it." I muttered to myself as a distraction.

Edward chuckled softly, his hands brushing through my hair softly. "Think about it. You have lots of time. The conference is in a few weeks anyways." His voice was just a soft cooing, lulling me into pleasant dreams. Edward's face, the feeling of my body pressed to his, were the only things I didn't loose in unconsciousness.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

**Teeny Tiny Twilight**

I was upstairs in my room, packing clothes for the three days I would be staying with Edward. The feeling of freedom had not diminished in the slightest after getting out of school for March break today. If anything, the feeling had gotten stronger. When ever I thought of the reason for that freeing, light feeling that trilled through me almost constantly since the first night he had stayed, my insides would turn to mush.

Someone cleared their throat from behind me. I started, spinning around to see an awkward looking Charlie standing in my door way, uncharacteristically hovering.

I quickly threw in my tooth brush and other necessities before zipping my bag up. "What's up dad?" I asked sitting on the end of the bed stretching my back—stiff from leaning over my bag for so long—and smiled at him.

Charlie lumbered over to drop down beside me, his face—as readable as mine—was clearly troubled. I was instantly anxious. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing…well nothing is _wrong_, Bella. I just wanted to remind you that Officer Cullen is a lot older then you. I know it might not feel like much of an age difference now but you two are worlds apart. Just…remember that." He muttered something incomprehensible in a gruff tone. I had a feeling this conversation was going to leak into the sex talk.

I jumped up and threw my duffle bag over my shoulder. "I'd better put this down stairs." I mumbled.

Apparently my sudden change in mood for the better since Edward's first stay, and then even more so when Charlie had told me Edward had approached him about my staying at his house while Charlie attended the conference had not gone unnoticed by Charlie.

"Bella." Charlie warned.

I turned around, waiting wearily for his next words. "Yes, dad?"

He looked at me for a long time, then his cheeks flushed and he looked away. "Just think about what I said. And don't get your hopes up; Edward is probably looking for someone his own age. 'Kay kid?"

I nodded, looking down at my feet. "I'll think about that. Love you dad." I walked down the stairs slowly, my feet feeling heavier then they had before. Not quite so buoyant.

That quickly changed when there was a knock at the door.

I hurried down the stairs, trying to desperately balance my duffle bag hanging off my shoulder. I all but threw the door open. He was standing there of course, wearing his police uniform. It looked different from Charlie's, but still official. It startled me to see him in it, not that I didn't know that he wore it, just that it made the difference between us—our ages—even more obvious.

"Hi." I said, hiking the shoulder strap further up my shoulder.

"Hey." He had caught my stare. "Just got off work." He grinned, gesturing to his uniform. I nodded, called goodbye to Charlie, and let him take my bag to his car.

He opened the door to the passenger seat for me and I ducked into his car. Edward went in the other side, giving me a short glance. His deep green eyes were worried, probably due to my expression. I tried to compose myself.

Other then the purr of the silver car's engine, it was quiet. I looked morosely out the window, watching the scenery through the screen of rain water trickling down the glass. "Hungry?" he murmured quietly.

I looked at him for the first time since he had started driving. He still looked worried, his mouth pulled down in a way that made him look hurt.

"Sure." I tried to sound normal and smiled at him. It must not have looked right.

Edward slowed the car down, pulling off to the side of the road. He turned to me then, "What's wrong Bella?" his voice was very soft.

I shrugged, looking out the stationary window again. "Charlie was just talking to me before I left. He… pointed out the age difference." My eyes flickered to his face quickly to gage his reaction.

"Does he know?" Edward asked calmly, almost hopefully it seemed to me.

All Edward and I had done since we had met was kiss. He never tried to go farther then that like he had the first night, and there was a respectfulness that he somehow managed to illustrate towards me even when he was simply touching my face, or speaking in quiet whispers so Charlie wouldn't wake up.

I frowned at his reaction. "No, I don't think so. He knows…" I shrugged again blushing, "He knows I like you."

"Does my age bother _you_?" Edward asked softly, tucking a stray piece of hair behind my ear.

I rolled my eyes, smiling a little. "You climb through my window at night, but I'm bothered by the age?"

Edward laughed too. He started the car again, pulling back out onto the road. "You have no idea how happy I am to hear that."

"Are _you_ bothered?" I asked.

Edward raised an eyebrow at me. I stumbled over my words trying to rephrase my question. Of course he wouldn't mind. He had a barely legal girl staying over at his house for the weekend. Images flashed through my mind, but the background was uncertain. I had—obviously—never seen his house before.

"I mean, I'm not your age. It wouldn't bother you to be with me? You're not worried about what people would think?" Especially in forks.

Edward thought about that for a moment, pulling off into a parking lot outside a nice restaurant. I made a face as I thought about the price of the food, but he didn't see it.

"I'm a little worried about how Charlie is going to kill me. It'll be painful no doubt, but other then that, no, I'm not worried." He smirked. "Unless of course you have something to tell me?"

I giggled, "Well, see, I'm actually carrying the child of some sort of extra terrestrial. I guess all those lone walks in the cow fields at night really weren't the best idea."

Edward sighed, and then shrugged. "I'll learn to live with it." He was around to my side of the car before I could step out. He offered me his hand.

The restaurant was just as horrible as I imagined it would be. There were dimmed lights, roses in crystal vases, and dark red table cloths. The server took us to a table for two by an empty row of booths after Edward murmured something quietly to him. I was positive I saw money exchange hands.

After we had ordered, Edward and I talked, and as we talked we laughed. At one point I said something that made him laugh loudly enough to get us some stairs, and then he reached across the table to take my hands into his. His eyes danced with pleasure.

The time flew by until the windows outside were dark with inky night. I sighed, looking out into the night. Edward looked too. "Think it's time to go?" he asked, sounding as disappointed as I felt.

I made a face. Edward laughed, calling the server to get our check. Edward didn't let me see the total; he slipped the man a bill. "No change."

It wasn't until Edward pulled into the driveway of a comfortable looking house that I started to get butterflies.

All the windows were dark.

I knew what I wanted, and I was positive that he wouldn't have a problem in giving it to me. That didn't stop the nervousness, the feeling of stage fright that twisted my stomach in strange and wonderful ways.

Edward got out of the car, reaching into the back seat to get my bag. I continued to study the house, trying to distinguish Edward's room from the outside. Two warm arms snaked around me, and the soft pelting of cool rain stopped. "What do you think?" he asked, resting his chin on my head. My personal umbrella.

I smiled, turning in his arms to press my lips to his in a chaste kiss. "Home sweet home." I joked.

He thought about that, turning the simple words over in his head. "It could be." He murmured so quietly I didn't think I was meant to hear it.

"Let's get out of the rain." I mumbled, glairing at the dark sky and letting him lead the way to the door. He opened the door and flicked on a light.

I blinked at all the colours.

He laughed at my expression, "My sister likes to paint."

"I'll say." I murmured in awe.

I looked around in wonder. There were golds and blacks, reds and blues, silvers and greens. It was all so much to take it, but beautiful all the same. I loved it instantly.

"Where's your room?" I asked, carefully keeping my eyes on the exotic looking walls.

He put my bag on the couch, and then took my hand, leading me upstairs.

Even the hallways were a dizzying array of colours. There was so much to look at that I could have stood there all night looking at the walls and the pictures that stood in perfect contrast. He led me to the room farthest from the stairs and opened the door.

His room wasn't quiet as colourful, but it defiantly had an intimate feel. The colour scheme in this room was silver and black. I cocked my head to the side, looking at everything from the wrought iron head board, with the dark bed spread to the silver lining of the room.

A smile pulled my lips up. "I like it."

He hummed in the back of his throat in agreement. I shyly let my hand brush against his. He took my hand firmly in his own.

When I looked up at him his eyes were shinning with something like adoration. I reached my other hand up to touch his face, and then slowly, carefully, let it slide into his hair.

He leaned down, touching his lips to mine softly. I let go of him to tangle my other hand in his hair.

He pulled in a shuddering breath before he let his tongue trace my bottom lip. I tilted my head to the side opening my mouth. He took the invitation, caressing the insides of my mouth with his tongue.

My stomach clenched in anticipation again, more severe then when we were in my room. I whimpered into him.

He froze, then he let go. His hands became possessing, one hand bowing the small of my back into him, while the other took hold of my hair, keeping my lips melded to his.

Slowly, I started to walk backwards. He followed like it was an involuntary reaction, like two magnets that needed to touch. It wasn't until my knees hit the side of his bed and I let myself fall backwards onto it that he finally pulled away. He had his hands braced over my head, gasping.

"Wait. Bella, wait. What are you doing?"

"Kissing you." I murmured, trying to pull him down to me.

He didn't move. He searched my face, looking for something. I looked away from his eyes to his uniform. He hadn't taken it off yet. I let my hands glide over the material of his shoulders, coming down to meet at his collar. I undid the first few buttons before his hand came up to grasp both of mine. "Bella," he warned softly.

I looked up to meet his eyes.

It was here, in this one moment that I felt like a child next to him. His eyes were far to wise for the face they were in. It didn't feel like he was 23, it felt like he was hundreds of years old trapped in eternal youth.

"Please?" I whispered. What, after all, would this cost him? His job maybe if Charlie ever found out. Which he wouldn't.

He sighed, letting his head drop. "Understand Bella, when I invited you over I wasn't _asking_ for anything. You don't have to do anything you don't want to. I just want to spend time with you."He looked up then and the sincerity in his eyes burned.

"I want to." I whispered, trying to pull him back down to me again.

This time he complied. He slipped one hand under my legs, the other under my spine to place me on the centre of the bed. I started to undo the buttons on his uniform again, succeeding this time on taking it off. He took the shirt under it off. Only the fact that he had to separate our lips made me aware of that.

I ran my hands up his bare arms, and across his shoulders. He was so warm, the skin smooth under my hands. I let my hands wander down his chest, over the well developed abdominal muscles, down to the belt of his pants.

His hand caught mine again. "No Bella." He murmured against my shoulder as he placed a tender kiss on it, and then pulling my shirt over my head.

He kissed his way over from my shoulder to my collar bone, running his tongue over the indentation between them. I moaned, forgetting momentarily about getting him naked, and twined my hands in his hair.

His hands continued to circle around my back, unhooking my bra with ease. My breathing became more even as I was distracted from what he was doing to me by the thought of how many times he had done this.

Abruptly, he inhaled sharply and my mind regained its focus on Edward.

He had taken the bra off. I hadn't even remembered what colour it was until it was dangling, long and green from his fingers. I blushed, the most unromantic colour out there, and I wear it tonight. He was staring at me though, his eyes hungrily looking over me.

He let his hands dance down over my ribs, over my stomach, to the button of my pants. His quick fingers had it undone before I could grab his hand. When I did though, he looked up at me curiously. "No Edward." I mocked him for his stopping me before.

He put his knee between my legs, kneeling over me. "_Yes_, Bella." his voice was husky. I thought he meant I could start to undress him again so I reached down to undo his pants. He raised an eyebrow over dark green eyes that grew perceptibly darker. "Do I need to cuff you to the bed to keep you still?" he threatened darkly.

I rolled my eyes at his bluff. Abruptly, he snatched both of my hands, pinning them above my head with only one of his. There was a quick flash of silver, and then a cool metal clicked around my wrist. I gapped up at my wrists, now cuffed securely to his iron head board.

He laughed at my expression.

I looked up at him, his mouth still pulled into an amused smirk. I pulled my jaw back up and pouted in response. "I just want to touch you."

He was still grinning when he cupped one had around my breast. "It's my turn first. I want to make your first time special."

I could feel my eyes pop open at his words, while my body arched into his hand. "How—how?" Breathing was getting harder the way my arms were angled above my head. The incoherency was Edward's fault entirely.

He realized this and pushed my body up so I my lungs could take in more air. He chuckled again, "it wasn't that hard to figure out."

He took my breast into his hand again, grasping it softly. His head came down to take the other one in his mouth. I wanted to bring my hands down, to tangle them in his hair, to bring him closer. The metal cuffs chinked against the iron stubbornly as I pulled. Real hand cuffs weren't going to break and let me free.

His tongue flicked out then and he blew against me. My nipple hardened, stretching the skin across my breast until I felt sure they would burst.

The hand cuffs rang against the head board again. "Edward." I gasped, letting my eyes slip closed. He nipped lightly at the skin. Crying out, I pulled almost frantically against the cuffs. "Please." I cried. I needed him to let me go. I would stop trying to undress him if I could just _touch him_.

"What do you want Bella?" he murmured softly against the skin.

"You. For you to let me go."

He pulled away a little to look up into my eyes. He looked confused as he disregarded the second part entirely. "What do you want me to _do_ to you?" he asked.

I blushed. Edward's lips pulled up into his amused grin again, "How do you touch yourself Bella?"

If my face had been warm before, it was on fire now. "I...I don't…" I felt like an idiot.

The moment Edward understood he pressed his mouth into my shoulder to muffle his laughter.

I looked away, out the door wishing again that I wasn't held to the bed, the reason though was different now. I wanted to run out of the room, to craw into a dark hole and never come out until I could answer his question.

When his laughing stopped, he gently took my face into his hands, trying to make me look at him. I refused to and he sighed. "Don't worry Bella," his lips were at my ear, "I wanted to explore anyways." He purred.

My mouth went dry as I looked at him. His eyes burned, smoldered, while his lips were still amused by how very naïve I was. "Tell me what feels good." He murmured, kneeing my breasts with his hands.

I moaned, arching again. "Everything feels good." It came out sounding like a complaint and I managed to scowl at him for such a stupid question.

Edward howled with laughter. The sound echoed through the empty house. "Sorry." He gasped though his laughter, "I'll try to help that."

I narrowed my eyes at him. Nothing on my side of this was particularly funny and all the while Edward was having a laugh riot at the moron he had let into his bed.

Smiling, he wrapped me in a hug, holding my naked chest against his. "I love you, never leave me." He kissed my shoulder again, and then made his way down my body with his lips, leaving burning trails wherever his lips touched.

A trill of need and love and passion flared at his words.

He was back at the opened button of my jeans. His eyes flickered up to mine. I went to pull my hands down to support my body, to sit up and watch him, to help him. The hand cuffs clinked against the head board again stubbornly. I groaned.

"Dammit Edward." I growled under my breath, pulling aggravated at the cuffs.

He chuckled again, peeling my jeans down my legs. He stopped when he reached my shoes, undoing them, and then throwing them to the floor. The socks went next, and then finally my jeans.

I looked up to gage his reaction to seeing me. It was hard to even raise my head with out the use of my hands.

He stared at me unabashedly, standing at the head of the bed, his arms folded across his chest. He studied me, letting his eyes roam while I lay exposed and helpless to him. I didn't even pull at the hand cuffs, having given up on any use of my hands tonight.

"You." I narrowed my eyes at him, truly aggravated with the restraints. "Pants off."

He grinned, and then bowed. "Your wish, my command."

"Really?" I asked. "Then can the hand cuffs come off too?"

"Only one wish."

I pulled in a deep breath through my nose, and then let it out through my mouth. He pulled the last of his uniform off, standing only in his boxers. He climbed back onto the bed, kissing up my one leg. When his lips came to the inside of my thigh, he nipped at the skin, and then soothed the offended skin with his tongue. He did this with the other leg. I bit my lip, trying to keep from crying out.

I raised my head to look at him again. His head was bowed over my panties. He locked his eyes with mine and I found myself quite unable to move even when the muscles in my neck started to strain. He took the leg of my underwear between his teeth, pulling the fabric down my body. His eyes were dark, compelling, mesmerizing.

I whimpered.

His eyes broke contact with mine for one short moment. I took that opportunity to let my head drop back down to the bed. "Edward." I moaned. The heat between my legs was becoming unbearable, my stomach twisted and churned. Now that the fabric had been removed the wetness was plain to see. I swallowed thickly.

His hands grabbed my hips, restraining me though I didn't move. I looked up again and found a way to rest my head on my arm so I could see him more easily.

His eyes were so dark the green was starting to melt into black. He brought his head between my legs. His tongue swiftly entered me, and then dragged up, tasting to my clit. He wrapped his tongue around it, sucking it into his mouth.

I suddenly saw the need for holding my hips down.

I cried out bucking upwards with enough force to have broken his nose had he not been restraining me. "Edward!" My insides twisted, pulling into the centre of my body. He continued to suck on me while I thrashed on the bed. This was the sweetest kind of torture. How could anyone stand it? How could anyone bear to stop it?

His tongue was replaced by his finger. My head had since fallen back to the bed, I couldn't, try as I might, lift my head to look at him. He pushed his finger further into me, and then pulled out starting a slow torturous rhythm.

He replaced the finger with two, stretching the skin. I knew with a sudden clarity how very much this would hurt. His mouth was on my stomach sucking at the skin on my abdomen. He must have done this so many times, have memorized how a woman's body worked, how and where all the nerves came together to coil into a tight ball. He was sucking the skin that was just over the spring inside me, winding tighter and tighter.

"Edward!" I screamed, my body arching off the bed. The spring let go, setting fireworks off behind my eyes. His fingers started to pump harder, faster into me. His name was my constant mantra as I slowly felt myself coming down from my first orgasm.

I felt the weight lift up off the bed. My head was too heavy to move to see what he was doing. He leaned over me from the side of the bed, a key in his hand. I sighed in relief as the hand cuffs finally came off.

I rubbed my wrists, trying to get the blood flowing through my arms again.

He climbed into bed beside me, hand around my waist, pulling me to him. I could see his erection still straining against the fabric, but he didn't seem about to continue, to do anything for himself.

I went to touch him, to do a little exploring of my own but he stopped me."What about you?" I asked, intrigued by the hands on anatomy lesson.

He shrugged, "I'll let you recover." He hadn't stopped smiling since he came into bed beside me.

"That doesn't seem fair." I reached down, hoping to do something for him, but he caught my hand yet again. I looked up at him. He shook his head, no.

"I want to. You haven't enjoyed yourself at all." I could feel the annoyed frown pulling my lips down.

He grinned, "I enjoyed myself."

I gave him a disbelieving sceptical look, "How?"

He shifted on the bed, propping him self up on his elbow, watching me with the same secret smile.

"I went into the flower store to get my girlfriend some flowers once." He started. I couldn't see how his story answered my question. I guessed he was trying to distract me.

"I was originally looking for roses, you know the old cliché, but when I walked in, there was this beautiful flower. It didn't _look_ beautiful when I first saw it, but it was so pure, so eye catching after having roamed the store that I went to smell it." He sighed remembering, his smile widening, "It smelled so much better then any rose. I asked the shop keeper what it was, and they told me it was freesia. You Bella taste so sweet. Not like sugar, but a more natural sweetness. I realize now you _taste_ the way Freesia _smells._"

He ran his hand down from the valley of my breasts to where my hair started. "All the sounds you make, the way you move." He shook his head in wonder. "I could spend the rest of my life with you like this and be content, actually happy." He sighed again, pulling me closer to his body.

I didn't know what to say to that. "Oh." Was all I could manage before I rested my head against his chest. He chuckled, running his hands through my hair.

"Have I had enough recovery time?" I asked.

He chuckled, letting one of his hands slip to massage my clit.

"Neh." I cried, grasping desperately at his shoulders as sparks of electricity danced along my nerves.

"I think so." He snickered, pulling his hand away. That one touch had me panting again. I jumped on him, pushing his shoulders down flat onto the bed. He smiled calmly up at me, waiting curiously for what I was going to do next.

I wasn't quite sure. I didn't think I'd get this far.

I threw one leg hesitantly over his waist, sitting on his stomach. I would have felt more comfortable if I had underwear and a bra on right now at the very least. Each movement made my breast shift and move. He watched them surreptitiously.

I could feel my cheeks heating. I could feel my _entire body_ heating. Edward reached up to trace the blush that had spread from my face, down my neck, all the way to the tops of by breasts.

He smiled, dropping his had to my hip. I leaned down, pressing my lips to his. My hands slid from their place on his shoulders, down his chest and then back up again. I moved my head away, to kiss his neck but he stopped me. Instead he angled my neck so he could kiss me there instead.

He started to suck at the sensitive skin gently, but soon he was pulling the skin into his mouth, almost roughly. His hands massaged my shoulders, keeping the gentle feeling of his skin on mine. It wasn't until he pulled away, wiping the access moisture off that I realized what he had been doing.

He looked at his work satisfied. I looked at him horror struck. "Are you insane? How am I going to explain a _hickie_ to Charlie?"

"You won't have to explain anything. I'll tell him."

"No!" I cried. Edward chuckled, not seeming worried that he was, undoubtedly going to lose his job. And Charlie might just 'accidentally' fire a round off into his head. Repeatedly.

He rubbed my thighs comfortingly. "Don't worry about it now." He murmured.

I sighed, unable to keep my anger up for long. He was right; we'd talk about it later, but right now was _mine_.

I kissed down his chest then. Curiously, I nipped his nipple to see if it had the same effect on him as it did on me.

I might have bitten him a little _too_ hard.

He jumped, "Jesus Bella. Watch the teeth." I blushed, kissed the offended skin, then moved on down his body. Kissing, licking, touching. No biting.

I marvelled at his skin. It was smooth, no abrasions, only a few scars that seemed to make him all the more perfect, abs perfectly defined under the impossibly immaculate skin. It wasn't until my fingers skimmed against the waist band of his last article of clothing, straining against him that I was struck with the knowledge that I had no idea what I was doing.

I obviously knew the general mechanics of it from locker room gossip and general knowledge. Take it and moved my hand up and down. Or put it in my mouth. But what about _how_? Was I supposed to take a firm grip, a gently one, mediate between the two? That later seemed the safest option, but then again there was speed, and was I supposed to maintain a constant speed or vary? And when?

Cowardly, I skipped over it, letting my hands run over his legs. He had runner's legs; the defined muscles trembled under my touch. I secreted a smile behind my hair, letting my fingers trace up his other leg, knowing that my stalling was useless. And selfish.

I could feel a different kind of twisting starting in my stomach. It wasn't nearly as pleasant as last time. My lungs felt stiff as I pulled his boxers down.

I kept my eyes focused completely on the fabric, down over his knees, down over his feet. My stomach fluttered, hundreds of chaotic butterflies wrecking havoc inside me.

Finally I couldn't stall anymore. I looked up, first at his face. His eyes were kind, soft, but his jaw was sharp, pulled taught in restraint. I looked down then, and hesitantly, curiously, ran my finger down from the rounded tip down the silky soft skin, so impossibly warm to the touch, until I reached the base, then starting the circuit over again. Exploring was fun.

Edward groaned a low sound that rumbled in his chest.

I flinched back. I'd done something wrong. I looked up apologetically as Edward propped himself up on an elbow, watching me. "What I said earlier, it still applies, Bella. Don't do anything you do not want to do. We can stop now if you'd like." He watched my face carefully, reading my expression to detect my easy lies, I guessed.

I shook my head, catching my bottom lip between my teeth. "No, it's not that. Just…I have no idea what I'm doing." I admitted with an embarrassed smile.

He smiled, "Keep going then, you're doing fine." I ran my finger along him again for a second, feeling the silky texture again, and then I wrapped my hand around him.

I wished my hands were bigger, they barely wrapped around him.

I went slowly at first, exploring, as he had done. There was a strangled moan, and through I paused I didn't take my hand away this time. "That feels amazing Bella." he encouraged me in a voice that hinted, just barely, at a strain behind it. He swallowed thickly over another groan. "It's okay, keep taking it slo—Jesus _fuck_!"

I froze with his cock in my mouth.

He gasped, his eyes rolling back into his head. I felt him slip his had into my hair. At the same time that his hand pushed my head down further on him, his hips bucked up to meet my mouth. I sucked in a breath before his cock cut off my air supply.

He was completely inside me, from the smooth rounded head, all the way down the long heated, silky skin. I fought against my gag reflex as my body tried to dislodge the foreign object in my throat. Instead I swallowed against the feeling. I could feel the muscles in my throat constrict against him, trying to pull him down.

Edward groaned, liking the feeling. I pushed against his hand, trying to breathe again. For a second I panicked, and then this hand dropped the force, letting me up. "Sorry."

I breathed in, and then started to move up and down him again. Not taking him in fully, but I let my hands work on the part that wouldn't comfortably fit into my mouth.

I pulled out almost all the way, enough that I could circle my tongue around his head and then sucking as I went back down. He murmured things I couldn't understand, though I did catch my name more then once.

I continued until I felt the pressure starting again in his hand, the way his breath hitched—getting faster—it was only then that I took him in fully again. I was prepared this time. I angled my throat, caressing the under side of him with my tongue.

His hips bucked up again, his hand hard on the back of my head. I pulled out, just enough to snatch another breath when my mouth filled with warm, thick liquid. It tasted like something familiar, but with a new salty, musky edge. I swallowed it.

I pulled away, licking my lips. I could still taste it. Pleased by this I smiled up at him. He grinned back, "Are you sure you haven't done this before?" he asked with playful scepticism, slightly out of breath.

"Positive." I replied, mirroring his grin. I was still curious despite myself. I took him again, though he was limp now. I felt the slight temperature difference, how the skin wasn't pulled as taught as it had been. I felt it stir in my hands, coming alive again.

He pulled me away before I could continue my investigation, all my harmless experiments. He sat me on his stomach, straddling him again. He ran his hands up my arms, across my shoulders, still smiling though the expression was softer now. "Thank you."

He pulled me down against his chest, rubbing soothing circles in my shoulders. I sighed happily. "Hmm, you're welcome. I enjoyed it." I smiled as I wrapped my arms around his neck.

His hands paused for a moment, and then started again. I could feel the way his laughter felt against me as it bubbled up through his chest. "_You_ enjoyed it? Just how _I_ enjoyed you?"

"Mhmm." I sighed. I took a deep breath, inhaling the most beautiful scent. It was natural eau de Edward. No cologne could compare. It was then that I realized why he had tasted so familiar. It tasted the way Edward smelt, and that just happened to be the way sunlight _felt_ in a concentrated form with a hint of spice, almost like a subtle dash of cinnamon.

The sense of this knowledge was so strong the word made its way out of my mouth without my permission.

"Sunlight." My voice sounded just as surprised as I felt.

The moment that little word had passed my lips though, I hoped fervently that he didn't hear. To be told I tasted like freesia was one thing, especially when it came from him, with a story that was sweet, romantic—and I hoped—held a subtler message.

"Sunlight?" he asked. "Where did that come from?" he asked.

I shrugged, hoping he's drop it, and quickly moved onto another topic to distract him. I was far to content where I was to move. "Did your girlfriend…before…like the freesia?" I asked. I listened for his answer. It was more then a distraction, I was honestly interested.

"You first. What's sunlight?"

I inhaled once more before he kicked me out of bed. He would probably be very subtle about it. Sweet, romantic, caring Edward would never want to offend even someone as crazy as I was. "When I…tasted you…" I could feel my face heating. "I thought it tasted…familiar…in a way. I just realized that you taste—and smell—the way sunlight…feels." Oh wow, that sounded worse out loud then it did in my head. He was going to have me committed.

I waited for the uncomfortable laughter, the way he would gently push me off of him. _'Maybe you would be more comfortable on the couch.'_ He would say with the softest of nudges.

He laughed in a hearty, natural way. "Is that what you're embarrassed about?" he chuckled again, pulling me closer.

"That doesn't bother you? You're not going to sent me off to an insane asylum?"

He chuckled again, "Bella, nothing on heaven, nor earth, not even in hell could _tear_ you from my arms, much less make me send you away." He emphasized this by constricting his arms around me.

"Good, I'm glad. Your turn, did she like the freesia?" I asked, sitting up to look at his face.

He hesitated, thinking through his words, "I'm not sure."

I frowned down at him, "What?"

He sighed, "I didn't get her the freesia, I gave her a red rose. Then broke up with her." He saw that I confused, "I realized that she wasn't freesia, she wasn't…special. Just a rose."

"Oh." I murmured, thinking about it. It sounded wired, _just_ a rose. Just beautiful. Just romantic and perfect. "So instead of looking for roses…you're looking for…Freesia girls?"

He chuckled, "No."

I sighed, exasperated. I didn't understand what he meant by all this. But he continued, "Not looking for. _Found_." And then he smiled at me, and I could almost see the halo.

I smiled hopefully, "And that's me, right?"

He laughed again. He touched the end of my nose with his finger, "Right."

I thought about that, then nodded, "I guess I wouldn't mind being a flower." I said thoughtfully.

He lightly let his hands dance down to my hips, then slowly, rolled over until he was on top, resting comfortably in the cradle of my body. He touched his lips lightly to mine, "And just think, you are just starting to blossom."

I made a face, "my mom said that to me once."

Edward kissed me, and when he pulled away I could feel the silent shuddering of his breath on my skin, laughing at me once again. "Bella, I can assure you that I am _not_ your mother."

"I sure hope not."

He hummed deep in his throat, kissing down my neck. I ran my hands through his hair. "Can I be on top again? I think I like it there."

"Not now." He whispered against my skin, cupping one of his hands around my breast. I moaned, covering his hand with mine, trying to keep him there. His mouth moved back up to mine, kissing me deeply. He was leaned down, just the tiniest bit, but it was enough to shift his position so I could feel his erection pressed into my stomach.

I smiled against his lips, reaching down to pump him. For one long second his lips stopped moving, and the he was kissing me with a renewed vigour that left me breathless. I could feel his body rocking in time with my movements.

I liked this. I liked that I was good at this, or at least that's how Edward made me feel. I was glad I could reciprocate in some way for all the night time visits when he would lay beside me, play with my hair, talk in whispers to me until I fell asleep. I loved how easy it was to be with him, how I could make him laugh and—whether this was because of his maturity from his age—I could have a stimulating conversation with him and feel comfortable. Easier then breathing.

This of course, could become very precarious. I was just beginning to see how very easy—dangerously easy—it would be for me to replace Edward with air.

I took my hand away from him. His eyes opened and he pulled away to look at me. As soon as he had assured himself with a quick glance that nothing was wrong, I could feel a low growl of disapproval deep in his chest.

I widened my eyes to suggest innocence, smiling kindly. "Hmm? What would you like? I know _I_ would like to be on top."

He sighed, moving so he was hovering a few inches above me. "I'm not sure whether I like this side of you or not."

"Is that a yes?" I asked hopefully.

"No. Why do you want to be on top?"

Ridiculously, I could feel a small heat starting in my cheeks. "Better access?"

He chuckled, "But _I_ have better access to you from where I am. And, since tonight is your night. I win." He looked at me for a moment, and then his eyes narrowed unhappily. "Can I ask you something?"

"Sure?" I wondered if I'd regret this.

"Do you plan on losing your virginity tonight?" His face was serious. I wasn't sure if he had a problem with this or if the answer would just lead him to the question he wanted to ask.

"Yes?" It came out sounding like a question. I had been sure that I was until he'd asked.

He leaned down, resting the side of his head against my left breast, listening to my heart beat. "So, would it be very selfish to want to be the first person to be everywhere. To claim every part of you?"

I could feel goose bumps erupt across my skin, the way my heart speed up at his words. My body was reacting to his words before I could really make sense of them. "What do you mean?"

He pulled his head away so he could look at my face for a moment. His eyes—his beautiful, serious, loving eyes, caught mine. He held my stare infrangibly. "Anal sex, Bella."

I could feel my body shiver under his. Despite the heat of his skin on mine I felt suddenly cold, nervous. The way his eyes started to flicker across my face looked panicked. "Breath Bella!" he looked about ready to position himself for CPR.

I sucked in a breath, still trembling under him, "Yes." I said, my voice sounded a little shaky. He didn't look convinced, and I felt the offer being withdrawn. Pulling him down to me I kissed him, conveying the force of my conviction in a way my voice didn't seem able to prove.

He pulled away finally.

"On your knees."


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

**Teeny Tiny Twilight**

I moved onto my hands and knees, my heart beating a frantic rhythm in my chest as trepidation set in.

"Bella?" Edward asked with obvious amusement in his voice. "What are you doing?"

I could feel heat burning in my face. "I thought you wanted me on my knees?" I wondered, trying to figure out what else he could have meant. Or maybe I'd heard him wrong and he'd said….bees.

No he definitely said knees.

As I was contemplating what Edward said, he gently pulled me up from the position, moving me so my legs rested on either sides of his and my back was pressed against his chest. "Let me rephrase it them. Sit _back_ on your knees."

The nervousness I had felt before washed away from me. I didn't feel nearly as vulnerable in this position where I was entirely consumed in warmth that resembled both a comforting blanket, and a rush of excitement. Like blood saturated with adrenalin burning under my skin.

Edward wrapped his arms around me, his cheek resting on my shoulder. I felt his warm lips press against the side of my neck. "Sorry to have confused you." He chuckled, "but I felt this was a little more…intimate."

I relaxed into his hold. Butterflies fluttered around inside me while Edward gently placed kisses along my neck and shoulder. Making a circuit while he organized his thoughts.

"I know I've said this before—"

"And I'll ignore you _again_." I interrupted, rolling my eyes as I already saw what he was going to say.

He let an annoyed breath out against my neck. "Try to listen this time then. There are a million and one things we could do right now, so please, if you feel uncomfortable or you change you mind we could do something else." He kissed my neck again. "I know about this hiking trail—"

I craned my neck so I could look at him. "Are you trying to get rid of me?" I wondered jokingly, cutting him off of this ridiculous prospect of wanting to be anywhere _but_ here. And even if I didn't want to be here with him, I'd rather watch paint dry than hike in the rain.

Edward's arm's tightened around me. "Never. If it wasn't absolutely illegal, I'd kidnap you so you could never leave. Even if you wanted to."

I leaned my head back on his shoulder and kissed the shell behind his ear. "I wouldn't mind, and I _want_ to do this; do you need me to tattoo that on my forehead for you to believe me?"

Edward chuckled, "Maybe." Then I felt him shift under me. "Ready?"

The butterflies turned into something stronger and warmth pooled in my stomach. "Yes."

He raised my hips up, and then slowly guided me back down onto him. Every nerve ending in my body was suddenly super charged as I felt him inside me, stretching the skin painfully.

My body locked down from the pain, ever muscle pulling taught. When Edward was fully inside me and no longer had to hold onto my hips, his hands soothed down my legs.

He started speaking, not trying to move inside me until I had relaxed enough. "You're so beautiful." He whispered, once my legs relaxed by some degree and he moved on to my arms. "So absolutely perfect. I couldn't get you out of my mind the first night once Charlie came home and I had to leave."

I laughed, trying to make it sound natural though it came through my teeth, clenched as the rest of my body was. He was doing a wonderful job at distracting me. He could be speaking of the most tedious thing and still have my riveted attention. If for nothing more then to just listen to the sound of his voice. The way his words formed them selves around his lips.

"Love at first sight?" I ground out between locked teeth. The words came out sceptical, almost sarcastic.

Edward's responding chuckle cut off as it did strange things to the way we were connected. He took a deep breath and I realized how much self-control he was using to not just give in to the pleasure.

"Not really, though looking back now I can't imagine how I didn't fall in love with you when I found you sleeping on the couch. I was going to just sit down on the end of he couch, but you were curled up and looked more then a little cold. It bothered me more then it should have. I got you a blanket.

"It was only after I sat down with you and turned the TV on that you started talking in your sleep." He laughed quietly at my mortified expression, trying not to create any friction. "You were so adorably funny. You complained about the rain, spoke a little about your mother, and muttered something about miscreants and making Charlie loose sleep. You were so interesting that for a while I just stared at you." He kissed my shoulder as his hands started to move over my hips, massaging the juncture between my hip and my thigh softly.

His hands stilled for a moment. "You did say something that confused me. You said, 'I hope he likes me' three times. Who were you worried about?" He moved his head, leaning it on my shoulder so he could try to see my expression better with out moving us too much.

I shrugged and he sighed, seeing the lie, but not pressing it further. I was nervous that if I spoke my mind, I'd side tract him, and I wanted to hear this. What he first thought about me, wondering if was anything like_ my_ first impression. He continued.

"I started to see things about your face, how your lips moved, how when you were annoyed or nervous in your sleep you would get a small crease between your eyes. I think I fell in love with your neck first though."

"My _neck?_" I asked incredulous as I let him distract me with his story. I found myself hanging on his words, thoroughly distracted from the aching flame of my tense skin.

"Mhmm." He murmured, kissing said esteemed body part. "I'm not sure what it is, but I love it. It's so…graceful."

I shook my head at him, my tense muscles relaxing slowly around him. I was also starting to realize that maybe Edward didn't want to do this position first just to be sure to be my first everything—though I didn't doubt that it was a motivating factor—I was beginning to think that Edward was trying to leave me with my virginity. The politely blank expression on his face when I had told him that it was my intention to give him that only made the intuitive notion more valid.

Edward's hand danced up my rib cage, while his other one moved to trace my hip lightly. His hand moved gently over the under side of my breast, "I love all of you. Your face, your neck, your breasts. Especially your bellybutton." He chuckled quietly.

He continued on with the list…Until I moved experimentally on him.

It was just a small movement, just to see if the friction was painful still. Edward cut off mid sentence and let out a shaky breath onto my shoulder before trying to find his place again, voice strained.

I felt a little smug. Especially since it didn't hurt. Not so much. I moved again, more intentionally this time, and just like before Edward choked off. "I'm…going to guess you're ready?" He gasped, stilling my hips.

I grinned, really quite proud of myself. I didn't feel quite so naïve when _Edward_ was the one trying to catch his breath.

It was an odd sensation, strangely pleasant, though not in the way I had expected. I nodded and Edward's hold on my hips tightened. I helped him raise my body slowly. Edward groaned, then unexpectedly, he pulled me back down. Fast.

I gasped as the brief smugness of being in control disappeared. Edward's hands held me more tightly, almost on the edge of pain, but not quite there as he moved me faster, harder on him.

When I had imagined sex, read the few books that did have intimate scenes in them, I never imagined that the sound of skin slapping together could have such a huge turn on effect as the dull and, truthfully, embarrassing words had suggested. The sounds Edward made didn't hurt either.

My eyes closed and my head fell forward. One of Edward's hands disappeared from my hips, his other stayed there, guiding my movements as my body instinctually took charge, bouncing on top of him.

Edward's hand returned, to stop the movement, depriving me of my needed friction. "Edward." I gasped, trying to make him move again. His one hand slid around my hip before he dipped a finger into me, and then two.

I moved on him again, nearly biting my lip off as too many kinds of pleasure moved through me, consumed me.

"Oh god. Bella, Bella, Bella." he whispered my name into my hair. He groaned, and then we moved. I fell forward onto my hands while Edward loomed behind me, never separating us. I was surprised I had the piece of mind to even put my hands out instead of face planting into the pillows.

Edward pressed himself tightly against me, his fingers moving inside me again, adding a third as his thrust got harder, my whole body rocking with the strength of it.

I cried out as light started to dot my vision. This was immense. This was the whole sun being pulled inside of me as my muscles clenched and unclenched. My arms collapsed under me and I cried out his name.

As I rode out my most powerful orgasm yet, Edward slowed down, his breath coming out in sharp breaths of hot air against my sweaty skin. Then he removed his hand and placed it back on my hip. He pulled out nearly all the way before slamming back in.

I saw stars. Dots of light that danced over my eyes.

His movements were getting stronger, more primal. He groaned, and the strength of his thrusts disappeared, replaced by a need for speed. As his thrusts became quicker, so did his and my breaths.

Edward gave a strangled moan and if my arms hadn't already been collapsed, then Edward's sudden weight would have done the job.

I waited, wondering if his weight should feel uncomfortable. It felt like there was something missing, one piece of the puzzle that didn't quite fit. Yet.

Edward gasped his breaths for a short moment before removing his weight and lying down beside me. His arm's wound around my waist and pulled me against his chest.

I sighed happily, turning so I could see his face. It was only when he chuckled that I looked up, grinning.

"Sorry," he murmured, twisting a lock of my hair around his finger as he spoke, "I'd actually intended on being much gentler—especially for your first time." he chuckled again, sheepishly this time. His finger delicately moved over my waist. "Are you hurt?" he asked me quietly.

His eyes—once they caught mine—inspected my face for any kind of distress while I read the anxiousness off his.

I soothed his concern with a big smile. "I didn't mind it at all. I think I like it rough."

Edward's shocked expression lasted for a quick moment before he laughed, really laughed. I smiled a little, about to say something else, but his lips came to capture mine, and any thought of saying something, or even _breathing_ really disappeared.

In an attempt to close the space between us, I threw a leg over his. Edward groaned, and then pulled away from me, getting out of bed.

I looked after him, worried I'd done something wrong. Was it too soon to want him again? I really, _really _wanted him. He smiled, extending his hand to me. A gentlemanly courtesy.

Or that's what I thought until I realized I needed the help. Maybe he could have been just a _bit_ gentler I thought as my legs refused to support me.

"Come on, let's get cleaned up." He grinned, sweeping down to lift me up in his arms. I relaxed in his hold. I was up for anything as long as it was with Edward. He didn't even seem to struggle with my weight, though I knew I couldn't have been light.

I was right; he struggled a little with the door. Not quite able to comfortably hold me with one arm. I opened the bathroom door for him. It must have been convenient to have a bathroom in his room. Maybe for this very purpose.

I didn't like that idea so I moved on to the next thought.

His bathroom was amazing. Like the rest of the house. Tiled in some sort of black granite, polished silver taps with a matching sink. He had a small bath and shower mix and I giggled when I saw the toilet. Bright neon orange. It was defiantly the most eye catching piece of the whole bathroom. He chuckled, "Alice thought it brought character."

I nodded, "I like it. Your whole house is amazing."

"And you haven't even seen it all yet. Imagine what it would be like to live here." His eyes were shrewd, calculating as he watched my expression.

"Hmmm," I hummed, "I think it would be wonderful right up until Charlie burst through the door with a loaded gun."

He chuckled, putting me down in the shower, and then joining me after making sure I could stand without him. "I think I've already passed that point Bella. I'm dead whether I steal you away or not." He grinned playfully.

I rolled my eyes, "Not if he doesn't find out." I smiled up at him mischievously, "I won't tell him if you don't."

He pursed his lips unhappily. I gasped at him in horror, "You're not going to tell him!"

Edward shifted uncomfortably. "Maybe not all the details, but I..._don't_ want this to turn into a weekend fling, and I think it _will_ if we try to secret it. Secrets in such a small town are hard to keep, and I doubt I'd see you often if we tried. Hardly the bases for a healthy relationship."

"Edward—" I started, thinking about Charlie, and especially what he had said before I left with Edward this afternoon came back into my mind.

_I think officer Cullen is looking for someone his own age._

Wouldn't that be what people expected from him? What would they think if they ever saw this? Us.

Edward soothed my cheek with his hand, a soft expression melting my thoughts together. "Shh Bella. We'll talk about this later."

I touched the mark on my neck, "You've already said that."

He chuckled at my put out expression, green eyes dancing as he watched me try and find a story about how it could have happened. "I promise we will talk about it. Later." He turned us so his back was facing the faucet.

Edward turned the water on, his muscles tensing in shock as the cold water hit him. When the water warmed enough, he turned us around. His chest pressed against my back again while he grabbed soap and started to wash me gently. He made sure to touch every part of my body.

Edward turned me suddenly towards him. I blinked up through the spray to watch little rivers of water stream down his body. He tried to run his hands through my wet hair.

Thick with water, it didn't cooperate.

He smiled gently, resting his forehead against mine instead. "Are you angry at me still?" he asked, smiling.

I pretended to deliberate then I turned my head away, "Yes," I sniffed, "I am." I kept up my pose for a moment before I needed to peek out of the corner of my eye at his expression.

He had turned away part way, one hand pressed tightly over his mouth as his body undeniably shook with laughter. I stared openly at him now. His entire body shimmered with water, his bronze hair darkened to a near black colour in the water with little shimmers of crimson.

He was beautiful.

He caught my eye and gave up, laughing openly at me. He pulled me against his chest again, still chuckling. When I was able to take in his whole naked form, I regained coherent thought, "I am actually angry at you. Kind of." I murmured against his feverish skin. Or was that my skin burning?

He tilted my chin up to look at him. "Really? For what? Wanting to tell Charlie that I want to start a relationship with you?"

"Yes." I wanted to find the words to make him understand that he could lose his job, that there was a very real chance that Charlie would kill him. Brutally. Violently. Especially if he found out what we were doing tonight, and as it was starting to sound, Edward might just drop a few hints.

I understood his want to base this on honesty, but that was between _us._

He nodded seriously, "I can understand how you would be angry at me. Wanting to respect you, to treat you properly, to make sure that everyone knows how much you're worth." He shook his head at himself in disgust, "What kind of monster am I?"

I narrowed my eyes at him, "That's not what I meant."

"Then what did you mean?" I had a feeling Edward had wanted this to be an intimate moment, showering together. Oops, I guess I shot that plan to hell.

I levelled a serious look at him, trying to make him listen, "You could lose your job Edward, and think of the reputation you'll get, especially in a small town. I could really make things difficult for you."

He grinned untroubled, "You haven't mentioned Charlie's gun yet."

"I was getting to that."

Edward shut the water off, pulling the curtain across for me. I stepped out, waiting for him to give me some kind of get out of jail free card. Maybe literally.

"Can I please explain later Bella, or will you be tense like this all night?" he asked softly, massaging my shoulders.

"Why can't you explain now?" I wondered petulantly. The feeling was too god to resist though, and my head dropped forward to give him access to my neck.

He took the invitation, rubbing his fingers along the ridge of my spinal cord, and then making his way down from my neck.

"Because you are standing before me naked, dripping wet, and the bed is sounding more and more inviting." I whimpered as he stopped his hands work at the small of my back, and then wrapping his arms around my waist, held me tight against his body, kissing my neck. I could feel his erection pressing into my back.

"Explain, please. Then you can do anything you like with me."

"Anything?" he whispered huskily in my ear. I shivered, then shrugged.

"Okay," he sighed, "long story short, my father offered me a job."

I stopped. "Can you make the short story long now?"

Edward sighed again. Impatiently this time. "I was getting a little annoyed with how little impact I was having on crime anyways. I was thinking that I would have really changed someone's life for the better by now. As it is, I just want to march to the federal bureau of criminal justice and hand them every file we have. Every missing child. Every serious offence and _personally_ tell them…Well it gets detailed and I think I've corrupted you enough for one night."

I turned around startled. He loosened his hold on me slightly, "And as for my reputation…" he shrugged.

I sighed, "A job where then?"

"The hospital."

"A job at the _hospital_?" I repeated surprised, "But…you haven't gone through medical school…You're a police officer…" he was too young to have gone through both medical school _and _policing. Unless he was older then twenty three and had been lying to me.

He didn't look like he wanted to tell the whole story. Whether he was embarrassed, or he was anxious to get to the second part of our deal, I wasn't sure. "Graduated high school at sixteen, finished medical school by twenty one. I was having trouble deciding if I really wanted to be a doctor, of if I was just following in my father's foot steps, so I tried my hand in something else. I just recently finished police training." He rolled his eyes, "Not nearly as exciting as they made it out to be. But then I guess you don't get a lot of action in a town this small."

I tried to quiet my surprise, "That and seeing all the young motorcyclists smeared all over the highway."

"Luckily I haven't run into that yet. Just another perfectly good reason to give in my two weeks notice while I can." He handed me a towel to dry off with.

"Then I think…we should talk about this later." I was starting to see his logic, and I was starting to realize how selfish I was. I wanted Edward to be mine more then anything. I wanted to spend my time with him. Wanted to laugh and talk with him freely on the street and have the whole world see.

The only thing I wanted more then that was for Edward to be able to walk down the street without being shot looks and having nasty rumours spread about him because I was too selfish to think about what was best for him.

This was so much harder than leaving Renee at the airport though, claiming my want to be with Charlie in the much loathed forks. Harder than telling Renee that I understood why I couldn't have the adorable puppy in the cardboard box. This was like tearing an arm and a leg off and leaving them.

Even after such a short time with Edward, I already had an inkling of how much it would hurt to stop him from climbing in through my window at night to talk off his insomnia. To squash this short beginning of something before it even had the chance to start.

"I agree." He murmured, pulling me gently into his room. Unawares of my dark contemplations. I knew what I would do. This would be the best weekend I would ever have. I would learn and experience as much of him as I could before the third day was up.

Then I would tell him to leave me alone.

I turned around to grin at him, "So you're a brainiac?" The question made him smile and all thoughts of leaving, already cemented into my planes, moved to the back of my mind.

He shrugged, "I guess. But I don't think it's fair that the school systems dedicate them selves to exploring one sense of intelligence. If we based schools differently, maybe I would be a year behind rather then two ahead."

I shook my head in mock sadness, "So you're smart, gorgeous, funny, caring, an amazing lover, respectful, humble, and self assured? Why aren't you with a super model somewhere in Paris?" I was infinitely glad that he was here with me. That poor super model would have to do without for now.

"Because I'm with you." He answered, "And my French has gotten rusty." He swept his arms around the back of my knees, scooping me up in his arms again. Apparently I wasn't moving fast enough. He laid me very gently down on the bed, smiling. "God you're beautiful." He murmured softly, cupping my cheek.

I flushed at the complement. He grinned hugely as he watched my face heat. He moved into the bed beside me, wrapping his arms around me, sighing contently. "As I do recall," he murmured against my hair. I could hear the smile in his voice, "You said that if I explained my plan for stealing you, then I could do whatever I wanted with you." When he kissed my bare shoulder, I could feel the way his lips turned up into a smile. "Is that still in effect or were you teasing me?"

I felt like I couldn't breathe, which reflected itself embarrassingly in my breathless voice, "Still in effect."

"Good." he whispered, pulling me so tight against his chest it was hard to breath for a different reason, "So I could take you against the wall? The floor? The kitchen table? Or, better yet, have you _everywhere_?"

Each one of his words was like a cotton ball in my mouth. When it was time for me to answer, my mouth was too dry to speak, my tongue numb. He turned me so I was on my back, him hovering over me. I could feel the waves of heat emanating from his body. So instead of talking—or rather trying to choke out an answer—I nodded weakly.

He grinned, supporting his weight on his forearms as he leaned over me, "I'm surprised. It's been a whole ten seconds and you haven't asked a question."

I felt Goosebumps erupt across my skin. They were almost predicted now. If I could concentrate on anything other then Edward to try and predict them. He captured my lips with his. Groaning, he shifting his weight. One of his hands moved from supporting his weight to my breast. He squeezed and I arched into his hand, whimpering against his lips. His hand started to make its way down my body, to the heat of my attraction, to where I needed him most.

I shook my head, trying to free my lips from his. He moved his mouth from my lips to my neck, sucking again. My stomach clenched deliciously.

"Edward." I gasped.

"You already have a mark Bella." He murmured against my skin.

I shook my head again, grabbing his hand, "No, Edward, I just want…" I swallowed, trying to steady my breaths. "You. Inside me." He freed his hand, parting me my heat with his fingers. "Not what I meant." I muttered, trying to sound frustrated. My words came out in a breath.

"Why can't I make this the best three days of your life?" He wondered, his tongue flicking out to circle my ear.

I whimpered again. He pushed two fingers inside me, this thumb rubbing circles on my sensitive bundle of nerves. My hips bucked without my consent.

My hands twisted tightly in his hair, and he brought his lips up to mine. I started bucking as he tasted the inside of my mouth, exploring the velvety lining, caressing my tongue. His fingers pushed deeper into me. I screamed into his mouth.

His fingers curled inside me, and I came again. Not nearly as hard as before, the universe didn't explode, but it was still enough to leave me panting and shaking under him.

He shifted over me again, bringing both forearms above my head. "Say stop Bella. Say stop and we'll stop. I'll go out and get a movie for us." He pleaded kissing my forehead for a long second.

My eyes fluttered closed, "Please," I whispered, "Please keep going."

He groaned, and I saw the tremor that shuddered down his body. He nudged my legs open with his hand, "It'll hurt, Bella." he murmured as a deterrent, all the while he positioned himself over my entrance. "I'm taking away your wedding night."

I grinned up at him, quirking an eyebrow. "With who?" I was starting to get my mind back, sobering for the pain.

He opened his mouth, and then closed it, unsure. "The man you love." He finally said voice definite.

"What if I love you?" I challenged. I had a brief spasm of doubt. I shook it off fiercely, he already said he loved me before, why should this confession scare him away? His eyes softened, melted into gentle oceans the colour of life.

"Hallelujah," he smiled, and then pushed into me, one hard swift movement.

It was horrible.

The breaking of one thousand tiny bones. The ripping of sensitive, delicate flesh. The burning of a red hot iron pole impaling me.

It was wonderful.

The look on his face. The way pleasure marked every feature. His eyes fluttering closed. His mouth opening slightly, the whooshing of his sweet, warm breath against my face in a soft groan.

I expected him to move, to pull out and thrust in again. Instead his breath stayed even except for a strained shaking. He held me tight against his body, his head fitting into the crook of my neck. The burning ache continued no matter how still he was. It did finally lessen as my body relaxed around him, trying to make room for his size inside me.

My hands were still tight in his hair; probably pulling handfuls out. I forced my hands to relax, to instead move to embrace him.

The movement must have meant something different to Edward other then my trying to leave him a full head of hair.

He pulled out slowly, and then pushed back in just as gently. I bit my tongue to keep from crying out in pain.

He kissed my neck, moving inside me. This time, when he moved I grabbed his shoulders, trying to get him to stop. My throat had constricted around my cry of pain, choking all my words inside me. He stopped moving, raising his head to see my pained expression. I quickly flattened my expression.

Edward grimaced. He kissed my eyelids, my cheek, my nose, and then finally—softly—my lips.

He kissed my lips with reverence. "You're so beautiful, so perfect." He kissed my lips again, his tongue flicking out to run across my bottom lip. My body quivered under his. He dipped his tongue into my mouth, and I melted under him.

He experimentally pulled out just the smallest bit when my muscles relaxed around him. Instinctively my muscles clenched, waiting for the pain. It didn't come this time; there was enough pleasure to even the pain out.

I arched into him as he started to move again. His movements were soft at first, gentle for my innocence. Eventually though, the pace wasn't enough.

"Edward." I gasped, holding him tightly. "More."

He pulled out nearly all the way, and then he plunged into me. I screamed in pleasure, my body clenching against him as a sweet, aching pleasure overtook me.

He paused, looking at me curiously before repeating the action. I choked on another scream, grabbing onto his shoulders. I could feel the waves of pleasure radiating from every part of me, overlapping each other as he started a new pace.

He sealed his mouth over mine, drinking in my moans, his tongue lapped at the words. He groaned, letting go of my swollen lips, instead burying his head in my shoulder, moaning my name into my hair.

I could feel the twisting coil again. The way my body started to tighten around him, trying to trap him inside me.

Finally the coil snapped.

There was a single moment that seemed to last an eternity when every cell in my body turned itself inside out, swallowing the brilliant light that consumed me. The pleasure was so intense it was very nearly pain as it rocketed through my veins and clenched my muscles around him.

There was a new carnal energy, as ancient as time itself and yet as young and vibrant as nothing I had experienced before. It over took me, and I sank my teeth into Edward's shoulder.

Edward gasped, and then he was slamming into me.

Slowly, as the light faded and I could see clearly again, I was able to watch Edward. His expression as he neared his own orgasm. His eyes were closed, his jaw loose as he panted. Unexpectedly, his eyes flashed open, green meeting brown and there was a sudden connection to him that grabbed me harshly.

I was stuck, staring at him as he was staring at me. It was like watching unbreakable iron cords twining together. Each separate fibre twining and tangling until it was hopeless to see which cord was which impossibly tangled as they were.

Edward roughly captured my lips with his then. He pulled out once more before fully burying himself within me. He whispered something against my lips, and then I felt the warmth seep through me before he is arms gave out, and he collapsed on top of me.

I sighed happily, absolutely contented and wrapped my arms around him. This seemed to be the missing part of the puzzle I couldn't find before. It was more then comfortable to feel his weight on top of me when we were like this. I never wanted to move again.

Eventually though, Edward moved us against my will. When I complained weakly he silenced me with a kiss. "I'm too heavy." He murmured, flipping us so that I was on top, never separating out connection. I grinned at the small victory.

"Wow," I mumbled against his chest, my eyes drifting closed. The soft silvers of his room along with this light, warm feeling left me feeling like we were laying on a cloud somewhere, waiting for the sun to come back up while we revelled in the night.

"Absolutely." Edward whispered, his voice was a perfect breath of wind, perfectly harmonizing with my imagined heaven right here.

I looked up to complete the experience, to see him. His eyes were closed, but as he felt me shift, his eyes opened, staring lazily at me with his hypnotizing green eyes. He grinned. "Honestly the best sex I've ever had."

His words sent a thrill of unwarented pride through me, and I smiled brightly at him. I was about to say something witty until I caught the angry red mark on his shoulder. My eyes widened, and then I grimaced with chagrin.

"What's wrong?" he murmured, touching my face.

I traced the mark on his shoulder, "That's going to scar. I'm so sorry."

He craned his head to look at the bite mark, and then shrugged easily. "Good. I hope it does scar." He grinned hugely at my shocked expression. "It's a souvenir. I'll never forget this ever. I've marked you anyways."

I rolled my eyes at his absurdity. A souvenir. "A hicky is one thing. A _scar_ is another." I raised myself up, straddling him.

"I liked it, actually." He grinned darkly. "I guess I have a vampire fetish."

I could feel him stirring inside me, hardening. My eyes widened at the feeling. I brought my hand to my abdominal, feeling him growing inside me. "How many times can you do this?" I wondered absently, more focused on the stirring movement.

"It never used to be this often." He placed his hands on my hips. "I blame you for that though." He grinned wider.

"Maybe you're a superhero." I murmured, smiling.

Edward threw his head back and laughed. The feeling of his shaking body transmitted into his length. I shivered in delight, and then paused.

What now?

I was reliving the same insecurities as before when I had been contemplating having him in my mouth. Edward made everything look ridiculously easy. I hesitantly rested my hands on his shoulders.

Edward was staring at me with pursed lips and an amused expression as I tried to map my way through my being in control. He chuckled as I realized how hard it would be to move on him leaning that far forward.

"You can step in anytime and help you know." I muttered. Blood was already boiling under my skin as want started again. This was unreasonable. I should have been exhausted, should want to just curl up under Edward's covers, warmed now from our…exertions.

I didn't though, I wanted to do _this_. Wanted to experiment until I was too tired to move.

"I know, it's just so much more fun to watch you try." Edward grinned.

"Thanks so much." I muttered, heat rising in my face. I tried again, cautiously resting my hands on his ribs. Both stable, and closer to me.

Edward though, didn't agree with my analysis. He quickly took my hands away. "As much as I would love for you to meet my father, I don't think that breaking my rib would be the best way to start off. Here, you'll get better leverage here." He placed my hands on his abdomen.

Obviously. "But what about internal organs then, if I could break you ribs? Wouldn't this be just as dangerous?"

Edward folded his hands behind his head casually. "Human beings have this amazing thing called _muscle_. It protects the organs, and even if that fails, we still have a coelom as a back up." He grinned at me obviously.

I blushed. I didn't know what a coelom was, but I knew when I was being mocked. "If you keep acting like that, I don't think I'm going to want to play with you anymore." I sniffed.

Edward chuckled. "Alright, I'm sorry."

Edward must have endless patience to put up with my naïve explorations. I rolled my hips slowly, moving up and then back down. Edward's eyes fluttered closed and a soft sound escaped him.

I tried something different, watching how different movement affected Edward. As I was slowly coming back down, I circled my hips around him. I could feel him caressing my insides, sending jolts of electricity through me.

Edward's eyes snapped open, and he grabbed my hips, pulling me down sharply on him. His unexpected plunge, deeper then I had ever had him in me, had me gasping out his name. His hands stayed on my hips, guiding me now that he had lost his patience—finally—with my boundless curiosity.

I helped him with the pace he was setting for us. Edward watched my face now while I struggled to keep from closing my eyes. It was so hard not to just give into the pleasure completely. I started to move us faster.

"Ugh, Edward." Edward added a new dynamic to the way we moved. He started to bring his hips up to meet me half way, slamming me down on him. My eyes rolled back into my head.

"Oh god, _Edward_." I screamed, as I came. My muscles constricted around Edward, trying to pull him deeper into my body, to trap him there. For the first time, Edward came with me. His neck muscles straining, his head thrown back and all his features scrunching, his jaw tightening.

Every muscle in my body spasmed, and then went limp. I collapsed on top of Edward's glistening body, heaving as mine was. Edward's arms wound around me holding me close to him as we caught our breaths.

This had been the point I was reaching where my muscles refused to hold me anymore. I couldn't even sit up on Edward.

Edward's breaths were coming regularly again, and he lifted my heavy head so he could see my face. I struggled to keep my eyes open and smiled at him. A slow smile curved up his lips in return and then he moved me beside him, tucking the warm covers around me, and then wrapping his arms around me.

I sighed, absolutely contented with the world. "I love you." Edward whispered. "So much Bella. Go to sleep and I'll be here when you wake up." He kissed the back of my head.

I frowned. "I hope so, this is your house."

I fell asleep to the sound of Edward's soft laughter.

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**Sorry to everyone for taking so long. I swear I wont stop this story, I just share this computer with my hawk/mom who i doubt would be thrilled to see what i was writing. Soo...this story is our little secret. I'll do my best to finish this story soon though, because i have a new idea for a story. ^_^**

**Thank you so much for all of you who have had patience with me and for the awsome reviews!**


	4. Chapter 4

**Baby Sitting**

**Teeny Tiny Twilight**

Something jolted me awake. My eyes flashed open to see what had woken me. The room was dark, but for the moon light coming through Edward's window. I rolled to the side, and then become conscious of what had roused me.

It hurt to move my legs.

I groaned quietly, I'd have to walk it off now or renounce any hope of walking later on today.

I looked over to see Edward. He had pushed the covers down to his waist sometime in the night, and his body gleamed white in the soft light from the moon. I was surprised to find him asleep. For some reason I could never picture it.

He was always the one watching _me_ sleep, leaving early in the morning to go back to his own house before anyone woke up. It was hard to believe now how much I had let him risk his reputation before, how I had never really been aware of it until now. Maybe it was because I was all together more _aware_ of Edward.

He sighed contently in his sleep, pulling me closer into him. He had one arm wrapped around my waist. I gladly cuddled into him. His arm was warm, and where I was resting—my ear pressed against his chest—I could hear the slow, steady, _vital_ sound of Edward's heart. It was so perfect that my own heart ached, my chest swelling with warmth for this wonderful creature.

I stayed like that, warm and safe with one of Edward's arms wrapped securely around me. I had seen Edward in his uniform before, but it was so impossible to imagine Edward as a weapon. He was trained in both armed and unarmed combat I knew from Charlie. These hands _couldn't_ mean to hurt though. I didn't know what he would do if he really had to train his weapon on someone. Maybe he wouldn't.

I shivered.

Finally I sighed when the morning breath in my mouth threatened to vaporize my teeth. I grimaced, and then _very_ carefully moved so Edward's arm was slowly lowered to the bed. If his insomnia had retreated enough to grant him these few hours of sleep, I wouldn't be the one to take that away.

I started the search for my clothes.

It was _impossible_ how scattered my clothes were, he had thrown them all over the room. I shot him a dirty look as he slept peacefully when I saw that my underwear was half hidden under his bedside table.

I finally found my bra too, kicked under the bed along with my shirt. I bet it was intentional, purposely hiding my clothes so I'd be naked when I woke up. He was always so _picky_ when it came to how I was undressed.

I sighed and rolled my eyes when I saw his hand cuffs on the bed side table.

I snuck out of Edwards's room, quietly tip-toeing through the halls until I found where the living room was again, then where he had left my bag on the couch perfectly white in contrast with such vivid colours of the surrounding rooms.

I started to dig through my things until I found my tooth brush and toothpaste. I grabbed a set of clothes for the day too.

I searched until I found a bathroom on the ground floor. I shook my head at him. His house was _way _too big for only him. His sister probably lived with him. Maybe even the rest of his family. I wouldn't be surprised if his father owned this huge house….okay, maybe a little surprised.

I wondered where they all were.

I blushed to think what he would have said to make them clear out.

So instead of lingering on that thought, I brushed my teeth. The minty taste of the toothpaste helped wake me and calm my breath so that I was no longer a fire hazard with my dragon breath. I went back to the living room, putting my things back in my bag.

I had grabbed my only skirt along with a v-necked blue blouse. It probably didn't matter much what I wore, but I wanted to look nice. Wanted to look nice for Edward, even if the clothes ended up on the floor for most of the day.

If everything went well, they would.

I crept up the stairs cautiously. I was able to really look at the paintings now, even if it was dark. My eyes had adjusted enough to see and it was quickly brightening outside.

At the top of the stairs, I paused to watch the brilliant sunrise. There were so many beautiful colours, so bright and vivid. I saw as the sun burned over my chilled skin, that the hallways were the exact shade of the rising sun.

I stared at the walls in awe.

This brilliant artist had captured the dawn and held it in her home. What would it be like to wake to such a brilliantly beautiful colour everyday? It had to put you in a wonderful mood.

Suddenly, I didn't miss Phoenix's sun so much when I stood here.

I realized I wanted to go back down and explore the whole house, too see every painting that decorated the walls and compare all the different colours. Too see what other beauties there were.

I sighed; I'd have lots of time for that I'm sure before the end of the weekend. Edward probably wouldn't be waking up for a while, but it would be better not to chance it. I didn't know how long he would sleep.

I peeked into Edward's room cautiously. He was still under the covers. Still asleep, I realized with relief, though he had turned onto his side. His face was perfectly smooth in sleep, not the relaxed face he had worn, and I wondered if he was having a bad dream.

I crawled into bed as carefully as I could, trying to not to wake him. Just as I was almost fully into bed and about to worm myself back under his arm, Edward's eyes flashed open, and he jumped on me, growling playfully.

I cried out in shock, and then glared as he grinned down at me. "You were awake the whole time!" I accused, my hand covering my sprinting heart. I swallowed thickly, taking a deep calming breath while my heart thrashed.

"Actually, I woke up and found my bed empty just a few moments ago. I was just about to get up and look for you when I heard you coming up the stairs." He told me, raising an eyebrow. The playfulness was slowly draining from his face.

I flushed. "I woke up."

Edward pressed his lips together to keep from laughing, the playfulness back again. "I can see that. But why didn't you just stay in bed? I had a mild heart attack. What if someone else wanted to steal you? Not that I would blame them, but I wouldn't let you go without a fight." Edward looked at me with mock seriousness. "And there would be lots of kicking and screaming before I ever let you go."

"I have a bit of a morning breath phobia." I muttered, answering his question and ignoring his absurdities. _He_ was the one who had had the heart attack?

He grinned darkly, and then exhaled his breath into my face.

I squealed, trying to push him off of me. His breath didn't smell nearly as bad as mine had tasted this morning. There was a natural sweetness about Edward's breath that combated against the sour of the morning.

I laughed, as he over powered me, assaulting me with his mild morning breath. He grinned, and then poked me in the stomach. "You're dressed." He accused, his hand flattening against my stomach, feeling the subtle expansion as I breathed in. He slipped his hand under my shirt and then started to trace soft circles into my stomach with the pad of his thumb, watching me the whole time.

I shrugged, "I really doubt you would want me walking around your house in the nude. What if your neighbours came over?"

Edward grinned. "The neighbours never liked me anyways." He rolled off me, pulling me tight against his chest instead. "I love you." He sighed into my hair. I grinned widely, and cuddled into him. Sometimes…words were just superfluous.

There was a long comfortable silence before he chuckled. "I hope you don't mind my asking, but why were you reciting Shakespeare in your sleep?" His eyes sparkled with secreted knowledge and I had an idea that he had already formed his own reason for why he thought I had repeated lines I had long since memorized.

Shakespeare was a common acquaintance on my book shelf. If I'd one. He was all over my floor though, piled along with my other books by my bed and scattered around the house. It drove Charlie crazy since he was more of a TV guy.

"I read his works." I admitted. "A lot." I ducked my head. I was a book worm of the worst kind, getting so lost in a book that I sometimes forgot to eat. And sleep.

He smiled, cupping my cheek. "You have no idea how comforting it was. Hearing you speak while I was still awake." He grinned crookedly, "I actually forced myself to stay up until you stopped talking."

I giggled looking down, blushing of course. Something in his words made a great heat move through me. And then something unnerving occurred to me.

"You didn't tell me what I said." Was it bad? Embarrassing? I couldn't remember what I had dreamed to speak about. Instead of answering, he just smiled warmly at me.

He leaned in his lips brushing mine when he spoke, "Silly Bella." he closed his eyes, pressed his lips against mine moving gently, slowly. I kissed him back happily. It couldn't have been that bad anyway, I reasoned, forgetting all about it.

We were rudely interrupted when my stomach growled.

Edward's lips twitched up into a smile, replacing a hand over my stomach, "Hungry?" he asked, while his hand slid further down my abdomen, slid under my skirt to finger the waist band of my underwear. My breath shuddered out of me, and I stared at the glorious angel with the smug smile across from me with wide eyes.

"Yes." I murmured, opening my legs to give him better access. I was hungry for him, starved for his touch.

He got out of bed, grinning hugely as the heat of my desire melted, moved to warm my cheeks instead. At least his ego was still firmly intact.

I wish I could say the same for my heart. It galloped around my chest, heating my skin as searing blood thundered through my veins.

He only pulled on a pair of boxers and jeans, forsaking his shirt and socks.

He saw me stumbled out of bed, nervously soothing my skirt and cocked his head, looking me over. "As angry as I am that you actually got dressed…you look beautiful." His voice was joking but I caught a serious undertone.

"You're actually angry?" I asked surprised.

"A little. I like looking at you." He walked over, and then pressed my hips against his. I smiled, wrapping my hands around his neck. I ran my hands through his hair, memorizing the texture. "Come my beautiful, brilliant Bella." he said, taking only my hand as he led me down the stairs.

"You like alliteration a little too much." I told him sourly, trying to squash my disappointment at him not leading us back to the bed for a proper good morning. The ache between my legs was back, this time though, unlike when I had woken up this morning, it was for a different reason.

"I like _you_ a little too much." He told me, grinning. I smiled back, but my stomach did nervous little flips. He took me into the kitchen. Like the rest of the house, it was decorated in striking colours that blended beautifully together.

"What do you want?" He asked, gesturing around the green walls with the purple ceilings and cabinets, it was like a violet had been grown and had moved so that it encompassed his kitchen. "My home is your home."

"Thank you." I told him, truly grateful. I felt welcome here, like I _did_ live here. And as much as I tried in vain to push the want away, I knew after my three days had been spent with Edward, I wouldn't come back.

The thought was such a crushing blow that I nearly doubled over.

Edward deserved so much more then vicious rumours and being ostracized by people who should welcome him. Five years in somewhere like phoenix would not have the same meaning as a five year difference here.

I realized Edward was still patiently waiting for me to choose what I wanted. "What kind of cereal do you have?" I smiled sheepishly, hoping he wouldn't notice my want for something fast. I wanted to start our day, wanted to explore the house and him.

"Not sure, Emmett—my brother—just did the shopping the other day. Or was supposed to at least." he narrowed his eyes at the cabinets suspiciously, and I couldn't help but smile at it. There was a spark of amusement in his eyes when he spoke about Emmett, and I wanted to meet him too, to find out what gave Edward that look.

He seemed to realize that I was still waiting for directions to the food. He pointed to a bottom cabinet. "Cereal is there and I'll grab you a bowl." He smirked, "They're on the top shelf." I recognized when I was being mocked on my size. I wrinkled my nose at him and knelt down to choose my breakfast.

There was a wider variety then I would have thought for only two people. I looked over the _lucky charms_, the _corn pops,_ and then there were some kind of crunch cereals that seemed appetizing. I looked up to tease him on the lucky charms. When I looked up though, he was staring at me with an unreadable expression that leaned more towards surprise.

"What?" I asked, wondering if I had, perhaps grown a second head with out noticing it. I wouldn't doubt my luck, especially since things _were_ going so perfectly for now.

My voice shook him out of his unnerving stare, and he cleared his throat. "Nothing." It was then I realized what he would have seen.

Me. on my knees. In front of him.

Good morning.

My eyes flickered down to see a bulge straining against the material and grinned, quite proud that I had some level of influence, if only a fraction of the absolute control he had over my body.

I thought, for a short moment, about a reprisal for what he had done to me this morning.

I grinned impishly closing the door to the cupboard, deciding I wasn't hungry for cereal anymore.

He saw the mischief in the look and grinned back in return, "I thought you were hungry." He told me, fingering the button on his jeans absently.

I shrugged, unclasping the button, and then pulling the zipper down. I could hear his breath catch as I leaned in, kissing the material of his boxers. His hands tightened on the counter top."Of course I'll understand if you don't want to." I teased. In a flash his jeans and boxers were polled between us.

I let my hair fall into my face to hide my snickering.

Edward was smiling crookedly at me, his chin raised fractionally in authority when I managed to look up again. "Something funny?" he asked in a voice that sounded more like cop Edward.

"No sir," I assured, as I started to pump him with my hand. He groaned, leaning forward and gripping onto the countertop with white knuckles. Leaning forward, I took what I could into my mouth while my hands took what I couldn't. My throat was still raw from last night. The screaming hadn't helped my poor abused throat either.

He started to rock into my ministrations. Taking a handful of my hair, he roughly pumping into my mouth.

I started, surprised at his force. He wasn't hurting me, but it still wasn't like him to take such a firm control and I wondered what he was already planning.

Words from last night, his voiced wants had my eyes flickering to the kitchen table. One of his many choices. Perhaps this was how I would get my tour of the house. The thought made me moan and warmth pooled between my legs.

Edward gasped. "Hum again Bella,"

I did, humming between soothing my tongue along the silky smooth skin of his length.

After only a short minute he pulled out of my grasp, breathing hard. I waited, confused as to what he was doing. I was certain I hadn't done anything wrong; I did it like I had last night…for the most part.

He offered me his hand, and I took it as he pulled me up off the floor. His breathing was harder then usual but he easily strung a sentence together. "Am I still entitled to do whatever I like with you?" he whispered against my neck before planting a kiss there.

I grinned smugly when I realized I had been right before. "Absolutely."

Edward turned me so my back was to him and he gently folded me so that I was bent over the kitchen table.

He pushed my hand away twice when I went to take my skirt off. "Do you want me to get the handcuffs again?" He threatened.

No I didn't.

I didn't touch my skirt again, even as he unclasped my bra, letting it fall to the floor with a soft clacking sound on the tiles.

Next he ran his hand down my leg, then up under my skirt to retrieve my underwear. Nibbling on my ear as something more violent then butterflies battered against my stomach. When all I had on was my skirt he leaned onto me. The movement gently pressed me up against the cool table top. My nipples hardened to the bursting point as they were pressed against the cool laminated wood.

I gasped as his hand moved my skirt up while his other hand went under it, smoothing over the sensitive skin of my cheeks. "Do you like this?" he murmured, pressing me onto the table. I nodded helplessly. He hummed in approval.

"I love your body." He whispered against my hair. His hand came forward to squeeze my breast softly. "Love the way your breasts feel. How absolutely rock hard you make me."

My eyes opened, confused for a moment. Was he…trying to talk dirty? We'll not trying, I'm sure he was doing it well. My body was reacting to his touch, buzzing at the contact, but the words felt awkward. I found myself distracted by how his voice sounded, imagining what he _could_ be doing instead of what he _was_ doing.

If anything it was making me impatient.

The hand under my skirt rubbed the inside of my thigh. "But do you know what I love _most_?" He whispered, voice low and husky.

So I had a choice. Tell him to shut up and take me in his green and purple kitchen, or to let his voice wash over me and try not to just jump him. Because I was probably the most cowardly person, I opted for the second choice, only really paying attention to his velvet voice.

I shook my head so he would continue.

His soft lips brushed against my ear. "This." The hand under my skirt stopped teasing me; instead he slipped two fingers inside me in one swift movement. My body jerked and Edward had to use his weight to pin me to the table as I started to writher in pleasure.

If _this_ was where talking lead us, he could talk my ear off all day. He added a third finger and I cried out his name. He chuckled, pumping the fingers into me faster. "I would gladly do this all day, just to hear your sounds and know that _I_ was doing this to you."

I could have sworn he said something else, something so low that I hardly heard it. I could have even sworn he said, _Just to make you happy._

It was so hard to concentrate though with the feeling of his body pressed against mine, and all the feelings that _that_ stirred up as a result.

Edward pulled his fingers away just as I could feel my vision starting to tip, getting ready for when Edward blew my whole world off its axis.

A really nasty name slid from between my teeth.

"Ah." Edward said, startled, and then he laughed. "Actually Bella, my parents were married before I was born." He chuckled again.

His hands slid along my sides, up to my ribs, then back down to my waist. He made the circuit three times and I felt his eyes on me as he did it. Watching me where I was while my brilliant orgasm was slipping from my fingers. Or his, really.

I gritted my teeth in annoyance.

I didn't understand what he was doing—other then driving me insane—he was torturing us. He had brought himself so close before pulling me away, and then he had done the same thing to me. I glared stormily at the wall while I tried to figure it out through the crystal clear haze in my mind.

I could think through _anything_ perfectly, in a clear way in which I could see every thread of clothing, ever splinter of laminate wood in the table, and yet, there was a haze of Edward that blocked my thoughts. All I could do was think of him in perfect clarity when I couldn't actually see him.

I felt Edward shift slightly behind me, and every nerve was suddenly trained on him. Where the heat of his body drifted, warming my cool, bare skin. How it made electricity replace the blood that was thundering through my veins when his hand nudged my legs apart.

How—even though my great, earth shattering orgasm had drifted far from my grasp—my world exploded into brilliant relief against the dark, dull colour of forks sky when he entered me.

A quiet gasp opened my lips, my eyes fluttering closed as just the feeling of our union erased the tension and aggression from me. He moved slowly, first focusing on how to move so that our skin was always brushing in as many places as he could.

Once he had that figured, his pace changed.

I saw him brace his one hand near me, felt the other behind me. The quietly defined muscles in his arm flexed, and then he slammed into me. The feeling arched me, my hands brushing his as I too braced my weight against the table, both of my hands just inside the space of his.

Either by some great stroke of luck, or by Edward's brilliant design, my sudden movement placed us to that Edward's upper body cradled mine, his chest brushing against mine with each of his thrusts, the back of my head resting on his right shoulder while Edward's face was just above and slightly behind my left shoulder.

He was moving hard enough that each of his drives slammed my pelvis into the table hard enough to feel like he might break my bones, but perfectly balanced so that the pleasure and sudden surges of almost pain only heightened every feeling.

I had changed the dynamic of our connection when I had moved though, making it so that he wasn't moving as deep, or as easily as he had been. He grunted then his hand came up from the table and pushed me back down against the chilled surface. His hand stayed on the back of my neck to keep me from moving again.

Edward started moving with a renewed speed and force and I feel the table slide once or twice against the floor because of it before it hit the wall and stopped the movement altogether. My breaths were coming in short, uneven gasps. Every few strokes, he would slightly change the angle so he brushed the _perfect_ place within me, and then after hearing me scream his name, he would revert back to our original; position.

I could feel myself rising now, being flown up to the very top of the highest mountains before I threw myself off to fly. Not fall, there was no way I could ever fall because of Edward. The mountain was higher then I had ever gone before. When we reached the edge, right where I could see all the way down, see the glorious free fall when I would fly, Edward started to move faster, harder ,and I knew with certainty that I would have bruises later.

And then we jumped.

I had never felt this degree of pleasure as I felt the shot of warmth from Edward's own flight spread through me. The pleasure was so intense—on both our ends apparently—that Edward's legs collapsed. Mine had long since been rendered useless and we _actually_ fell.

Edward managed to push us away from the table in time so that I didn't crack my face off the edge of the table. He had slipped out of me in the fall, but I still ended up landing in his lap, slightly turned since only one of his hands had been able to grasp my waist.

I knocked the breath out of him when I landed.

Edward moved us so that his back was against the wall, then he swung me with one last tired movement so that my legs were on either side of his. His chest was heaving. I pulled myself closer to him so that my head was resting against his shoulder, my breaths just as ragged as his were. I collapsed there, too exhausted to move even an inch.

After a few moments, Edward started to sooth his fingers through my hair. My already brilliant smile stretched until it hurt. The sweat that had collected, making my skin shine had also cooled me and, unlike when we had been on the bed, it was cold on the floor.

I pulled myself in closer to his chest. His warm arms wound around me and I heard him laugh quietly. "You are amazing Bella. I'll never look at sex the same way again. I swear we were actually flying at one point."

"Falling actually." I corrected him, looking up into his eyes. His mouth was turned up in the corner in amusement at my accurate correction, but his eyes burned with something so deep, it surpassed time. It was a perfect mix between love and lust. I didn't even think that a word as simple as love could entirely encompass what I felt for him then.

Then I sighed. "Sorry for calling you a bastard."

Edward threw his head back and laughed. I grinned while he was still laughing and continued. I heaved a dramatic sigh, "I guess it's just because I love your body so much." I teased, referring to his dirty talking episode.

Edward's laughter stopped and I bit the inside of my cheek, wishing I had let it go. Edward ran a hand through his hair and chuckled sheepishly with an almost defensive shrug. "I'm trying to figure out what you like. I want to be the first one to figure you out."

I laughed, Edward wanted to be a lot of firsts. I didn't mind in the least, but I wonder if he knew he was not only my first in that sense, but also my first kiss, my first date, my first three night stand.

Edward gave me a playful look. "I stopped when I didn't get a response." I looked away nervously so that I could quickly throw a half lie at him if need be, but he continued with out my needing to.

Sighing, he rubbed small circles into my back. "Darn and I was just getting to the part where I wanted to lick every inch of your body." His voice had dropped an octave into a husky note, his face leaning in so that our eyes were just inches apart.

Then he flashed his teeth in a grin.

Flames licked at my cheeks.

I shook my head, clearing it and then sighed."I wish I knew what I was doing so I could do the same for you. I'm more then a little naïve when it comes to this."

Edward's grin got bigger. "Don't worry about it, I already know what _I_ like." He murmured, leaning back again. "Besides, you naivety makes me feel like a sex _god_."

I sighed quietly, "You _are_ a sex god. And I think we should try the wall next, see if I like that." I widened my eyes to suggest innocence. "We _are_ exploring, right?"

Edward chuckled lowly, kissing me as he murmured, "Naughty girl." Into my mouth.

I grinned hugely. Still in only my skirt, I felt scandalous. I wondered now, if what I had honestly believed was torture—Edward stopping us right before our orgasms—had actually been responsible for having us come so hard. I'd have to ask him….sometime.

Edward had just started to let his hand dance up my skirt to start us all over again when we both froze.

A car door had slammed shut outside.

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**You are **_**soooo**_** lucky I love you all so much.  
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We looked at each other for a second that seemed to last much longer then it was. Both of our faces showing our absolute panic. Then both of us were rushing, throwing our clothes on quickly. I still had my shirt on so all I needed was my under garments and my shirt. I had my bra on and shirt done up in record time, but I couldn't find my underwear.

I started to freak out. What happened if someone came in and found it under their chair? By breathing picked up a notch.

It was only as I was shaking in fear that a movement caught my scattered attention out of the corner of my eye. My head snapped around, eyes wide with the same horror I was feeling just in time to catch Edward shoving my missing garment into his jeans pocket.

He caught my eye and brought a hand up to his lips, shushing me with a wink. I heard the door open. With my nerves as frayed as they were, I could have heard someone sneeze four houses away.

I quickly spun around before I came into view, trying to stall so that I could organize my expression enough.

There was a clear view of the front door from the entrance of the kitchen, and I was just blocked by the wall that portioned the downstairs into two parts. The huge living room, and then the smaller kitchen that was still almost twice the size of mine at Charlie's.

I grabbed an apple quickly and started to cut it in perfect quarter moons, pretending to be cooking something when truthfully, they happened to be the first thing I had touched on the great expanse of the beautiful marble counter. I had to be careful with the knife, especially with my hands shaking so obviously.

I risked a look at the entry way of the kitchen in time to see a tiny back haired girl dance in. She wore a business like suit, a black skirt with a matching over coat and a pretty white blouse underneath that. Her hair—contrastingly—was set into thin, but long braids that stuck out all over her head in a childlike look and fell almost all the way down her waist. Her eyes were grey, but beautifully sharp with intelligence.

She was so obviously Edward's sister. She was strikingly beautiful in such a familiar way.

There was a second following behind her, he was big and brawny. His eyes were a deep clear blue and he had dimples that went along with the childlike appearance of Edward's sister with a thick head of black curls. I guessed he was Edward's brother.

Edward smiled brilliantly at them. "Alice, Emmett, I'd like you to meet—"

"Why does the kitchen smell like sex?"

Edward's smile faded.

The bigger one—Emmett—had spoken. I blushed and turned around fully so they could see me. All I really wanted to do was run into a dark corner and shrink until I disappeared.

I could have sworn that Edward had told me we had the house to ourselves last night. Maybe he had only _meant_ last night though. I wasn't sure how long—if he had given an approximation of time at all—we would have the house to ourselves. But hadn't I just been contemplating the very size of the house and compared it to its sole occupant?

Emmett's statement made Alice's eyes widen as she sniffed the air, and then she turned an icy glare on Edward, her beautiful face distorted by anger. I took an instinctive step back from such a glorious ire. "Dammit Edward, what's wrong with you? You've been talking about this Swan girl all week and then you go off and pick up some…"

She turned her eyes on me, and I winced, freezing in mid-step. "How old are you?" She demanded.

"Eighteen." I murmured quickly, sinking into myself at her look.

"Some _eighteen year old!_" Alice exploded at Edward. She turned quickly back to me, "No offence to you, it just seems my brother can't keep it in his pants long enough to—"

"Bella Swan!" Edward thundered, interrupting her. I jumped about a foot in the air and decided I wanted to go home to Charlie's empty house _right now_.

He grabbed me and swiftly thrust me at his sister who was starting to look much more intimidating then she had just a few moments ago. "Met Bella Swan!" he growled, finally finishing the sentence he had started. His green eyes blazed.

Alice looked surprised for a short moment, and she turned to see Emmett who wasn't even trying to suppress his laughter at the two of them. He was grinning broadly and laughing under his breath so as not to disturb either of them. Apparently he had recognized me from somewhere. Or maybe he just didn't care either way.

When she had turned I saw that through that angle, her eyes had appeared to be blue instead of grey, but then she returned her eyes to Edward and they were grey again.

Edward wrapped his arms around me, dragging me back to him and away from his stunned sister who I was beginning to think was carnivorous, eating unsuspecting women who slept with her brother.

"Oh," Alice mouthed, and then just as quickly as her expression had shifted before; it changed again. Her face was stern when she looked at me again, and I stiffened in Edward's arms. "Quick, three adjectives that describe Edward." she fired off.

I was left spinning in wake of the sudden change and I answered quickly, with hardly any thought as I'm sure she intended. "Smart, caring, funny."

Alice whipped out a small note pad from the pocket of her trendy business suit. She scribbled something down quickly. "Again." she commanded, her eyes intense on the pad as she scrawled furiously to keep up with me.

"Charming, compassionate, genuine." I fired off just as quickly.

This continued four more times until I was floundering around in my head for more adjectives that described Edward adequately.

"Again." Alice was scribbling madly in the booklet now, the long braids that hung down around her waist bobbed slightly with the rapid movements of her trying to keep up with all my words.

I was fighting madly to quickly respond with three more words with out repeating myself, because I doubted that was what she was looking for. And truthfully, making her angry again was at the very bottom of my to do list today.

"Beautiful, sexy, divine."

I was already looking through more words to describe Edward, a frantic search that had me hyperaware of everything. I think I was even shaking a little. It took me a moment to realize what the second adjective I had used had been. I would have blushed if the blood hadn't long since drained from my face.

I shrank into myself, wondering if I was going to get another barrage of Alice's strange anger. Or would it be three more adjectives that I couldn't seem to scrape up in my mind?

Edward was chuckling lowly from behind me, and if I weren't so stressed, I might have hit him. Alice smiled at me, it was a huge bubbly smile that went along with her hair. She flipped her book closed and pushed it back into her pocket. Then she extended her hand.

I gave her a cautious look before warily taking it. She shook it, her eyes glowing with approval. Her eyes flickered up to share the look with Edward, and I saw that her eyes seemed to change colours again, though I was beginning to realize that it was just the angle at which I was seeing her eyes. This time they were green.

"Sorry about that. I'm Alice, Edward's twin sister." She laughed when she saw me trying to inconspicuously judge the huge size difference between them. The sound was like bells, and I was unable to keep from smiling a little in response despite the nervousness she had inspired.

"Hi." I said quietly. "Are you also the one who painted the house?" I wondered, though I was sure she had.

She grinned, and though it wasn't Edward's crooked grin, it was almost as beautiful and just as striking. "Yep, you like it?" she looked around the kitchen with me, each wall a different colour, each one standing out in fantastic contrast to all of them, and some how all fitting together. A perfect violet surrounded by varying fields of grass and one wall that actually had been painted into a hilly wheat field.

"It was the first thing she noticed when she walked in." Edward grinned down at me, "She's a big fan. Though I have to say I don't approve of your first impression." Edward's grin turned into a frown at his sister as he spoke, his tone disapproving.

Alice gave me an apologetic look. "Again, sorry about that. I really like you by the way. When are you moving in?"

My eyebrows shot up my head and I heard Edward give a hard steely laugh at his sister. "What are you doing here again?" he asked her in an arched way that made me think she was unwelcome.

I elbowed him in the ribs. "Be nice. I like her." I hissed under my breath. And despite the fact that she was a little…strong, I really did like her. My opinion was quickly changing about her, her open approval and disapproval made me feel more comfortable even if I was opting for the approval.

Apparently I wasn't as quiet as I thought I had been. Alice's smile lit up her face, and while I blushed, the bigger one laughed. "Anyone that's got you whipped Eddie is okay by me." Emmett winked at me conspiratorially while Edward grimaced at the nickname.

I smiled in response. I _must_ have known him from somewhere; he already seemed close enough to feel like a long lost brother. A _big _brother

"Nice to meet you Bella, we've heard _all_ about you." Alice rolled her eyes in a greatly tried way, and after that, I wouldn't have doubted that she had. "He hadn't shut up all week about the police chief's daughter."

"Thought you'd be taller." Emmett grinned slyly at Edward. In response Edward folded his arms over his chest and narrowed his eyes at his brother.

"_I_ thought that the two of you would be gone all weekend. Or is that deal void now?" Edward raised an eyebrow. Emmett's eyes flickered to me, then back to Edward before landing back on me.

Emmett shrugged with a sad smile. "Guess its void bro. I want to stay."

Alice sighed too, and nodded. Edward's lips twisted unhappily to the side though I thought I saw a glimmer of smugness in his dancing green eyes.

I wanted to ask him about the deal, but he was locked in a staring contest with Alice. From what little I had gathered from her already, she didn't seem like the type that backed down just because of a look. If anything, she and Edward had adopted the same stubbornness. Her vivid grey eyes were sharp and steely. Edward's shining emerald eyes were as hard as stone, and just as unmoving.

My eyes flickered to Emmett, expecting him to carry the same kind of unmoving stance. His size alone would have been enough to intimidate me.

Emmett jumped right into the middle of the silent fight, grinning hugely and looking unexpectedly excited, like he was about to start a game of football with some friends. He punched Edward's shoulder teasingly. "Come on Edward, this is our house just as much as it is yours. Let us stay."

Alice nodded; Emmett's good-natured personality was enough to bring the two out of their statue like poses. Alice smiled at Emmett and I started to categorize them, seeing each of their places inside the family already.

Weather it was Emmett's size or his attitude towards his brother and sister, he seemed like the big brother to me. Good naturally ending the disputes between his too serious brother and his twin who seemed like a middle child. Both playful, and stubbornly serious with a wicked temper. Alice fit perfectly in the middle of them.

"We just came by so that I could drop my suit off and pick up my new blouse. Jasper wants to see me in it…and nothing else." Alice shared a playful look with me while my whole face caught fire.

I wasn't used to such openness. Renee hinted sometimes, but understood my desire not to hear about her boyfriends. That hadn't been such a problem since she had married Phil though, and Charlie and I rarely got into detail about anything personal, much less sex.

Edward's mouth turned up at the corner as he saw my blush, his mood improving instantly. Alice's sharp eyes caught that, a speculative look on her face as she scrutinized our interaction with a strangely pleased look on her face.

She continued to speak like nothing had passed through, her eyes still trained on us. "And Emmett tagged along because Rose was working today, and after _last time_, I doubt he's welcome in the garage." Both Edward and Alice rolled their eyes at this.

It was my turn to scrutinize, trying to riddle out the stories that I had missed and wanting so badly for this weekend to turn into a full week. A month even.

Emmett grinned, showing his boyish dimples. "I'll bet I'm going down in history for that one. They should make me a plaque or something." He chuckled.

Edward finally sighed, leaning back against the counter, I was instantly captured by the way the muscles in his chest moved with this action. "How long are you staying?" He wondered in a defeated tone while a liquid heat started between my legs.

Alice flashed her teeth, "As long as we want." Then she laughed and threw me a quick wink—like we were the best of friends sharing a secret, an inside joke that we would laugh about later—and started out of the kitchen.

By this time, I had gained enough confidence to ask Alice one of my own questions after her barrage. "Hey Alice?" Alice stopped and turned, her long braids turning with her. I smiled, "Quick. Describe me in three words."

Alice laughed, a tinkling silver sound. "Don't be silly Bella. You can't describe someone in just three words." Then she turned and started up the stairs with Emmett on her heals, leaving me shocked in the kitchen.

I faintly heard Emmett's voice as they climbed the stairs. "So we get to keep her, right?"

And then I was distracted by the sound of Edward's chuckle, tickling my ear as he spoke. I shivered and leaned into him. "Sorry about her. Alice is a psychiatrist, she was analyzing you, and I do believe you passed. Surprising. Alice never likes my girlfriends."

I shrugged, "I don't mind her." I assured him. Actually, I really _liked_ Alice. She reminded me very much of all these walls, their brilliant colours eye catching and beautiful, impossible to miss, and managed through their chaos to retained a sense of elegance and energy.

I had once heard something about grey eyes. That they weren't actually colourless, just the opposite. A mirage of colours, they blending together perfectly. They were even rarer then albino eyes I remember reading now in my advanced biology class back in Phoenix. The complexity and scarcity of it all matched Alice perfectly.

"I don't really mind her either." Edward grinned, finally taking the bowls down for our breakfast. "She just has a habit of showing up at the most inopportune times."

"I don't know." I mumbled as I poured the cereal—lucky charms—"If she'd come home a few minutes earlier….That might have been worse."

Edward chuckled darkly, shooting me a contemplative look. I bowed my head, adverting his calculating stare and started to eat.

After that, Edward started to ask me more about myself. I was glad for the distraction.

Eventually Edward led us out of the kitchen and onto the couch in the living room. Alice and Emmett still hadn't left yet; I was starting to wonder what they were doing. Was she analyzing me in a shrink office? Was she going to send me the bill afterwards?

Edward smiled at me, this green eyes dark and I felt my stomach stir. "So where were we before we were interrupted?" he murmured lowly. He leaned forward, kissing and sucking my neck.

I knew there was something I wanted to say, but the feel of his tongue flicking out against my neck was driving it from my mind. I felt the burning warmth of his hand drawing small circles onto my waist, slowly progressing upwards. My eyes slipped closed of their own accord.

There was a loud crash from upstairs, sounding like a picture frame breaking. The sound was quickly followed by a loud booming of, "Wasn't me!"

The sound was enough to shock me out of my haze, and I remembered what I wanted to say. I sighed, "Edward, stop."

Edward's lips paused for a moment, listening to my too loud breathing, and then started to suck again at the tender flesh of my neck. My hands tangled in his hair at their own accord. "Why?" he finally murmured, and I had forgot that I had even said anything before.

"Because," I managed, swallowing thickly as Edward gently leaned me back onto the couch. He was scattering my thought pattern until clear thought was beyond me. "Upstairs…they're upstairs." I managed before succumbing. We'd be quiet.

To my great disappointment, Edward _did_ pull away. I opened my eyes to judge his expression, hoping he wasn't too disappointed. His face was peaceful though, eyes soft and dancing with mirth. It took me a second, but I realized he had just been messing with my teenage hormones. He never would have done anything right here in the middle of the living room.

Obviously.

He chuckled when he read my expression, "Alight." Then he leaned his face closer to mine. My breathing stopped. "Can I still kiss you?" He looked down at my legs, cross-legged on the couch, then up through his dark eyelashes, green eyes burning.

Now how could I refuse that?

I threw myself at him and he caught me, setting me onto his lap comfortably as he laughed. I smiled widely at him. Edward smiled back, "Alice is very impressed with you." He told me. "I'll bet you anything that she's writing down every inch of what she's learned from you right now so she can show me it later."

I laughed, that's what I had thought too. Edward leaned his face closer to mine, touching the tip of his nose to the tip of mine…and then smiled. "I love you." He murmured.

The way he looked at me, his green eyes flickering over my face, it was like he was examining some beautiful masterpiece. I ran my fingers along the side of his cheek, watching as his eyes slid closed contently, leaning into my touch.

"Is it later yet?" I murmured finally.

Edward's eyes stayed closed, and for a moment I thought he hadn't heard my question. Then he sighed softly, his eyes opening unwillingly. "I guess it is." He murmured.

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**A/N: He he, I love you all…but I needed a bit of a cliff to hang you all from. ^_^ as always, I love reviews. **


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

**Teeny Tiny Twilight**

I bit my lip anxiously and waited, moving from his lap. He frowned at the movement, his eyes narrowing at his empty lap. "So I'm guessing this isn't going to end well." He murmured, and then brought his burning green eyes up to mine.

For a moment, I was frozen, paralysed by the depth of his look until he looked back down at his empty lap, frowning. I swallowed, then I shrugged, "I'm waiting for your idea on what we're going to do." I touched the dark mark on my neck absently, a habit I was starting when ever the topic was brought up.

When Edward looked up again, a decision had been made, I could see it in the unwavering intensity in his eyes. And then he wrapped an arm around me, brining me close. "Well, for starters, I need you beside me." He kissed my forehead. "Secondly, I refuse to secret this. Us. I'm _proud_ to be with you Bella; I want the whole world to know. That's why I want to tell Charlie."

His eyes held mine, and I found myself arrested again, unable to look away from the intensity of it all. "I have _far_ too much respect for you and your father to run around behind his back with you." Edward continued softly, touching my cheek with his knuckles and gently glided them down to my jaw. The touch left a burning trail that tingled across my skin.

"But Edward." I whispered, trying to convey how important this was with just my eyes, and to fight the distraction that his presented. "What about my respect for _you_? What about your reputation?"

Edward rolled his eyes, unmoved by how grave this all really was _for him_. "I left high school behind a long time ago, Bella. I don't _care_ what people think. As long as I have my family and a few friends,"—he grinned, cupping my face softly—"and you. Then I'm happy." He shrugged easily. Absolutely—infuriatingly—untroubled.

I took a deep breath, trying to calm myself down. "And your job? The new one at the hospital you want to take. Is that guaranteed?"

Finally, Edward's eyes flickered with the smallest hint of doubt. "Nothing is really…._guaranteed_ Bella. Things change sometimes, but I know that Carlisle is a respectable doctor there, if he puts in a good word for me, I'll be sure to get the job." Edward smiled, sure of himself again.

I pursed my lips. So it wasn't a sure thing. I didn't like that. I didn't know how to put what I wanted to say delicately enough that I didn't offend him unintentionally. I knew that no matter which way I tried to explain it, it would make Edward sound like a degenerate, and that was so far from the truth that it was criminal to even suggest something so wrong.

I was afraid though that that was exactly how people would see it. The chief of police, trusting his daughter with Edward Cullen—a new comer to Forks—with his only daughter for three days, only to come home to find that he was sleeping with her. It wouldn't have mattered who Edward was, or how important his father was by that point.

It wouldn't matter that I had started it all, or that Edward hadn't pressured me in the least. There was no way that I could ever do something that horrible to Edward, especially if he was honestly considering settling down here in this miserable town. For all I knew, Edward could like the rain.

I wouldn't be the one to take the life he deserved away from him because of my impulsive, _selfish_ wants.

I closed my eyes, then leaned over and kissed him.

Edward's reaction was instant, and I felt his lips curl up into a smile. I might not be able to analyze a person brain to pick out their next action like Alice, or even have that uncanny ability to read people nearly to the mark like Edward, but in that moment, I knew what he was thinking.

He thought I was giving in.

"So when are we telling him?" He gloated his erroneous victory with a smug smile.

I sighed, opening my eyes. "Call me in two weeks." I murmured, a plan already forming in my mind. "You won't be working for my dad by then, and we'll consider if this…if this is still what we want to do."

I heard Edward chuckle, then he ducked to kiss the shell of my ear. "You mean what _you_ want. I'm already decided." He whispered against the skin before placing another tender kiss there.

Despite the weight of my remorse, I felt myself starting to melt back into his touch. Selfishly…impulsively. Eventually, I could feel the guilt starting to close my throat and worked to find something to distract myself with.

"What Alice was saying before…" I was rethinking Alice's angry outburst in the kitchen. "_No offence to you, it just seems my brother can't keep it in his pants long enough to—" _I laughed quietly. "It seems you already have a reputation…according to your sister."

Edward shook his head. "Not really, when Alice losses her temper, she tends to exaggerate. I like my relationships too much. I tried a one night stand at a party once." He shook his head again, laughing at himself this time. "I just couldn't go through with it. I need more then just a body attraction. My mother brought us all up well, I think." He nuzzled my neck.

I don't think I ever felt _more_ like crap than I did then. The more I knew him, the more I was finding that there was no way I _couldn't_ fall in love with someone so perfect. Just my luck too. I wished that I was even just two measly years older. Maybe after collage I could try to get back in touch…

Edward pulled me onto his lap fully now so that my legs straddled his. "That's not to say I'm not a man." He shared a playful wink with me. "I just think it is better when it's meaningful." He chuckled, as my face took on the characteristics of a level three forest fire. It felt like I should be sweating from the heat. He kissed my nose. "That's probably why it's so amazing with you. You mean more to me then any other person I've ever loved."

I bit my lip, trying to satiate the need that flared for him then by gently rocking on top of him. "You think we could go up to your room? Just quickly?"

Edward leaned back, barking a laugh, "You sex addict!" Then he sighed with put on disappointment, "I've corrupted your fragile youth."

"Shh!" I hissed, my eyes flickering wearily to the stairs. "Your sister has really good hearing." I muttered. That and she was so quiet when she walked—like she was actually walking on the air an inch above the ground—that she could be standing right behind us, and I probably wouldn't hear.

Emmett on the other hand…

There was another loud crash from upstairs and I heard Alice's shrill scream.

"I'm sorry!" Emmett cried, his loud feet detectable from where we were as he ran across the hall upstairs. I looked up, but Edward acted like he hadn't heard a thing.

Edward seemed immune to all this, like he was used to his huge brother knocking everything down in his wake. I was starting to notice the lack of glass figurines in the house. There was actually hardly anything _glass_ in the house but picture frames and a few windows. I smiled a little to myself. I felt very much at home.

"Besides." I mumbled lowly in the constant suspicion of being overheard, I played with a button on his shirt. "It takes two to tango, and if I do remember, you were the one who bent me over the kitchen table…." I peeked up quickly to see if I had moved him at all.

"Then maybe we should change the tune." He suggested with a casual grin, pulling me to my feet with him and crushing that fragile hope.

I gave him a wary look. "Our tune?" my voice came out with a dull suspicion, beset with disappointment.

"Yes…for now."—I immediately perked up—" We'll give Alice the courtesy of a couple of hours." He let his hand slip until he was just touching my finger tips with the length of his index and the tip of his thumb, smiling at me. "If I have to wait two weeks to see you again, than we will be making the best of this weekend."

His voice changed, sounding far away and contemplative, like we were discussing tomorrow's dreary weather. "Maybe we will find out if you do enjoy the wall."

My breath caught when his eyes—dark with lust—flickered to mine. Perhaps he hadn't been as unmoved as I had previously thought.

I was still trying to take in a full breath, suddenly captured by the way his body moved when he walked, the tendons dancing across his bare back when he shifted his weight. I was so caught up in _him_ that I didn't even realize what he was doing until the music started.

I blinked, surprised.

He had turned on a radio, one with larger speakers that looked too expensive for me to touch. It was then that I also noticed the large flat screen TV on the wall. It was something that I would have expected in a waiting room.

It took me by surprise; I wondered how I hadn't noticed it before. Maybe it was because Edward didn't usually seem interested by the prospect of TV.

"You like fifties music?" I wondered startled as he grabbed me by the waist and started to dance with me in an upbeat, unfamiliar way.

I gasped when he pulled me along in the upbeat steps of a dance that seemed too old for him. I realized a little late, that we were dancing in a fifties style too.

I shrieked a laugh when he spun me quickly, then nearly dropped me to the floor, catching me at the last second.

"I like fifties music." He agreed, "Much better then the sixties and seventies garbage that Alice loves to play." Edward shuddered. "The eighties are…bearable."

I smiled as he started to sing along with a song I had never heard of before. The song came to a close, and I took an unsteady step away from him. All the spinning had me struggling to keep my already precarious balance.

Edward chuckled, watching me with curious eyes. "Something tells me that you don't dance very often."

"Would that something be your poor toes that I've stomped into the rug?" I wondered, starting to see straight again. Edward laughed out loud.

When next song came on, it was much slower and Edward reached for me. I quickly took a step back. "Oh no, not again."

Edward gave me a contemplative look before taking a step forward. I took a step back, watching his advance warily. A slow smile crept across his face and he took two steps to the left. Confused, I followed the movement, wondering what this new game was.

We continued this pattern of movements, until I realized that Edward was teaching me how to dance. He grabbed me suddenly, and we started to waltz around his livingroom. I laughed and shook my head at him. His green eyes flashed with amusement as well. His skin seemed to be glowing again, not the afterglow he had after release, a different kind of light.

He was so beautiful.

His hand burned where it rested, guiding my waist. The other was holding my hand, his fingers threading with mine.

"I can't believe you don't know how to dance." Edward murmured, shaking me out of my trance. "Didn't your boyfriends ever take you dancing in Phoenix?"

I raised my eye brow at him while he varied our dance with a spin. He was crazy testing my learning curve with anything physical. "How did you know I was from Phoenix?"

Edward pursed his lips. "Answer my question first, and then I'll answer yours." He looked embarrassed, and I wondered if he had taken a peek into my records. It wasn't like the resources to do just that weren't at his disposal.

I grinned smugly, glad that this conversation couldn't go anywhere. "I've never had a boyfriend. Your turn."

Edward's eyes popped open in surprised, then narrowed in suspicion and he frowned at me. "You've never had a boyfriend?" He asked sceptically, though I knew my honesty was so transparent he couldn't really doubt it.

"What about dates then?" He asked when I had just shrugged.

My grin widened. "I've never been on a date either. Unless you count last night."

"Weren't interested in any of them?" Edward's face smoothed unnaturally.

"None of them we interested in me."

That had broken through the smooth façade. "Were the boys _blind_ in Phoenix then?" he sputtered.

I just laughed at him. Edward muttered something incomprehensible under his breath, looking almost angry at the boys who hadn't taken fascination in Phoenix's phantom. I don't think Edward realized that I was a ghost there, pale as one and just as unnoticed, slipping quietly through the hallways while the others stayed caught up in themselves and each other.

"Must have been quite a change when you moved here then." He said in an absent tone, like he was just politely stating a fact. His eyes were riveted on my face though, watching the confusion twist my face in incomprehension. His eyebrows came together in his own mystification.

"You mean Mike?" I asked, not sure if we were still on the topic of boys.

"The Newton kid? Sure, but I was also talking about all the _other_ ones as well."

I frantically searched through my mind for any of the other boys at my school that had shown any interest. "Erick and Tyler?"

Edward huffed, rolling his eyes, "I mean the whole of the male species in Forks Bella." He gave me a look like I had spent my whole time in Forks walking around with a blind fold on. "I have to agree that Newton was the worst of them, I heard your name pop up more then once when he was talking with his friends."

At the startled look I gave him, he hurried to explain himself. "I had just stopped by to pick up some things at the outfitters store for a trip Emmett wanted to take with me." Edward grinned in a memory.

I smoothed my expression, "Oh, did you hear anything good while you were eavesdropping?"

Edward's smile turned dark. "No."

"You're turn to answer my question." I insisted, refusing to think about Mike. "How did you find out about Phoenix?"

Edward's scowl softened back into a slightly embarrassed smile, quirked at the side. "Your father talks about you a lot."

My eyes widened. "Oh." I thought about that while the song on the radio ended and the announcer started to introduce another one. We didn't break from our dance, though I had stepped on Edward's foot _again_. "What else did he say?"

"Everything." Edward breathed, his smile softening further. "I knew everything even before I ever met you." Then Edward laughed, "That's probably why Charlie likes me so much, especially after that first night. When I came back to work the next day, we started to play cards while we waited for _something _to happen."

He looked frustrated again, and I guessed it was because of how disappointing his job had turned out to be. It made me sad to think that he was so disillusioned. He walked into the police academy thinking that there would be excitement, action, and a real life revolutionizing moment that would change someone's life for the better.

Edward shrugged it off and continued, "We got onto the subject of you, but that wasn't such a surprise. This time though, instead of feigning interest, I spurred him on. I _made_ him tell me everything." He chuckled, "I'm his favourite now because you are _mine_."

I was astonished, "You actually had Charlie talking?"

Edward hesitated, "As much as he does, but I guess you already know how quiet he is. Kind of like you." He thought about that, his eyes intense and calculating and I was caught in them, feeling him stir my insides around until they were mush.

I managed a shrug, "Neither of us is much of a verbose. That position is filled by my mom." I hesitated when I remembered her. This was one of the first secrets I had ever kept from my mom. I suddenly really wanted her here so I could talk to her; find out if I was doing the right thing by Edward. Even just to gossip and laugh about boys now that I really had _something_ to talk about. Then again, even fun loving Renee might not be so easy about this one.

Edward stopped our dance and clicked the radio off. Neither of us was listening to the music anymore. "You miss her." He murmured, not a question.

Quickly looking away from his probing eyes I nodded anyways, confirming his statement. Edward's hand formed itself around my cheek, making me look at him. "I remember—sometime last year I think it was—Renee had called the station. She had wanted me to tell Charlie to help you pack your bags because she was home. Why…why didn't you go back home, or did something happen?" His eyes were sympathetic, the other hand resting comfortably on my waist like it had when we had been dancing.

"No, nothing happened." I assured him quickly, remembering the night he was speaking of. "Just, when Charlie came home…" I changed what I was going to say quickly, forming a half truth. "I took stalk of my life in Forks. I had a lot more friends here then I had back in Phoenix, and I was already almost half way through the school year, and I wanted to give Renee and Phil some more quality time. I mean, they're still kind of newly weds, they don't need a bratty teenager tripping them up." I forced a grin.

Edward's face stayed serious, looking into me so deeply I could swear he was reading the words straight from my mind. A cold shiver trickled down my spine when he next spoke.

"You stayed for Charlie."

I felt my eyes widen as he guessed right. He nodded grimly as if I had acknowledged the truth out loud. "You have to remember that I was the one who gave him the black news." Edward smiled grimly and I already had an idea of what he was remembering.

The same thing I had seen, probably in a rawer form. I took a deep breath, trying to dispel the image from my head. Charlie, eyes ringed by red, tears wiped from the raw skin bellow eyes, identical in colour to my own. His tone had been gruff when he told me good bye and started up to help me pack everything into my bags.

Even trying his hardest, Charlie was about as good as I was at hiding emotions. We were both open books, laid out for people like Edward or Renee to open and flip through anytime they wanted.

Edward had me opened for him right now, his perfect green eyes calmly flickering across my face, seeming like he was reading the words straight off my forehead. I wished fervently for a wall between my mind and his.

Instinctively, my body carried out this wish to the best of its ability trying to disengage myself from him by stepping out of his grasp.

"Don't run." Edward whispered, his hold tightening on me needlessly. I was already bound in place, not by his hands which I knew were strong enough to hold me still if he wanted—and capable enough to break my bones with simple flicks of his wrist. It wasn't his hypnotic gaze that both calmed and set my heart sprinting that kept my feet where they were, bolted into the carpet. It was the vice grip he had on my sprinting heart, a touch that should hurt, but was as silken as a caress…until I tried to pull away.

I could already feel the ripping tug now, knew that his grip wouldn't cease when I tried to pull away. The hold would rip my heart from my chest and keep it in his company.

For now, forever. My heart was his.

Edward's eyes widened. "You actually listened to me." He murmured, shocked. And then he quirked a smile that pulled one side of his mouth up, flashing a corner of his white teeth at me.

He leaned in then so that his face was just inches from my own. "What other tricks can I make you do?"

By breathing sped, eyes widening. "Oh," whimpered while the room spun. And then my legs collapsed.

Edward gasped, then grabbed me before I hit the floor. His hands were too tight on my arms, his eyes wide and worried. He'd really have to get used to my falling or this wasn't going to work out at all.

I calmed my breaths, smiling with a weak laugh. "You can make me faint on command."

Edward didn't look amused. "Are you alright?" he asked, and then I could see him answering his own question, flicking through medical texts in his mind to find a reason for my fainting. "Maybe you should drink some more water." He murmured quietly, and then he grinned cockily, "especially with all the exercising you've been doing."

"What exer—oh." I blushed as I realized what he was saying. "Water might be good." I admitted.

He smiled, and then set me on the couch. He loped off to the kitchen, coming back a moment later with a tall glass of water. He handed it to me, kissing my forehead. "I'm going to quickly brush my teeth, I'll be right back."

At the look I gave him, he straightened. "You know Bella; _normal_ people eat, _and then_ brush their teeth."

"I'm pretty sure normal is already out for me." I mumbled into the glass, and then took a long drink. My mouth—I only was realizing now—felt dry, like cotton balls. The milk from the sugar filled cereal hadn't quenched my thirst at all.

"Hmm." Edward agreed, glancing over his shoulder towards the stairs where his sister was still residing, either starving off breakfast until she was finished with the over view of my over all sanity, or maybe she already ate before she came. Either way she would have to use the table again sometime.

Edward came to this conclusion at the same time I did. "Maybe I have a bit of cleaning to do." He murmured vaguely.

I sighed "I'll help. It was partly my fault anyways."

Edward's expression changed—both of his eyebrows rising—and then he let out one surprised bark of a laugh. "_Partly_? Bella, it was _your entire_ fault. It never would have happened if you hadn't been driving me insane with your skirt." He shook his head, and then scoffed "_Partly,"_ as he walked away.

I huffed and crossed my arms, childishly making a face at his back. If I did remember, _he_ was the one who started it all. If his imagination wasn't hopelessly twisted up in his ego he would have seen I was just innocently kneeling down to get the cereal. And then we wouldn't have shared the most mind-blowing orgasm of my life. Or since I had only become aware of _that _degree of pleasure in less then one day…

I gasped as I realized that maybe the feelings Edward was enticing could get _stronger_. I chastised myself for how greedy the thought was, what I had now was barely manageable, the only way Edward could make this _better_ was by—well—I wasn't really sure _yet,_ but that's why we were exploring.

A warm wetness started between my legs. This was _impossible_, if this kept up I didn't know if I would be able to wait the whole two hours. A whole 120 minutes or—I did the math in my head with some difficulty, having to trace the numbers out on my leg to keep track of them—a whole 7200 seconds. Or was there one more zero?

I gave up quickly on the math.

Edward came back holding a jug of _Javix _and a sponge with a crooked smile and a quirked eyebrow.

* * *

"I'm going to have to enlist my sister for the next job." He murmured as we were scrubbing our hands free of bleach, the water singing against the stainless steel sink metallically. He had been quiet all the while when we had been cleaning.

We lapsed back into silence, and I watched his face carefully as he squeaked the tap off and we climbed the stairs. I couldn't see what was bothering him so much, unless Alice didn't take well to house work. I couldn't imagine trying to make Alice do _anything_ she didn't want to. She wasn't at all like Renee in that sense.

It surprised me how much I already felt like I knew them all. They were all just so…_open_. Everything about them was as clear as day with no walls or insecurities that I could see. Especially Emmett, looking at him was like looking into a very clear lake with no shadows.

Edward took my hand as we climbed the stairs, leading me right to his room and flicking back his covers. Horrified shock was obvious on my face. "What happened?" I demanded.

There were two spots of blood on Edward's sheets. One was a large budding of blood near the middle of the bed, soaking the silver fibres stiff until they were as black as his covers. The other was just a few stray drops dotting the pillowcase.

He gave me a dubious look, the dark grey light from outside glowing through his window, making him look heartrenderingly saddened. "What do you mean? You lost your virginity." My lips formed a small 'o' as I remembered the ripping of sensitive skin. And then I also remembered what the smaller spots of blood were.

"Does your shoulder still hurt?" I wondered quietly. I had almost forgotten it, because over where the angry red mark should have been—that had actually _bled_—there was a square bandage covering it. His chest was much more distracting then the almost blended bandage against his slightly tanned skin. A memory of sunny days from before he came to Forks.

Edward dropped the balled silver sheets with blotches of black twirling around the mass of fabric back onto the bed, then rolled both of his arms back experimentally. His face was too smooth though as he pulled his left shoulder up. "Nope." He lied cheerfully, skilfully with a smile and no traitorous blush to trademark his lies like my face did.

It was subtle, but now that I was really paying attention to how his left arm moved when he walked and not paying attention to the sinews and muscles that pulled along his spine when he walked—the smooth motion of his walk was just as distracting as his frame—I could see how his left shoulder didn't carry the same effortless range of motion as the right one did.

I groaned quietly, spiralling in guilt and hoping that the bruises sure to show around my waist from our kitchen adventures proved especially dark and painful. It seemed an only fair exchange. I wonder how Edward would explain the scar to his next girlfriend.

He lead me down the stairs, each springing step that he took was laced with blissful energy. I dragged my feet down the stairs unhappily after him.

Edward's enthusiasm was hard to resist.

He had me bouncing down the stairs ahead of him, flashing him a big grin. I'd make up for his shoulder after in my own way.

There was no _time_ to be unhappy this weekend. Edward was righter then he would ever imagine. We needed to make the most of our time together. I wanted something more then the physical to remember though, I wanted to _know_ Edward Cullen from more then just our short times together before I fell asleep in my room.

I waited a short minute in the kitchen, trying to figure out where the laundry room was. I spun in a tight circle, trying to look for an opening that looked promising. There were two openings in the kitchen, one that I had just come from, leading to the stairs and out into the living room. The other opening was a darker hallway that didn't look promising or inviting. Besides those, all there was was a pantry door, a few cabinets, and a fridge.

Edward came in, chuckling at my expression and opened a pantry door just to the side of the kitchen's main entry way.

Only as he opened it and walked in—flicking on a dull orange light as he did—did I realize the pantry was actually the laundry room. I followed him in, wondering if we'd pull the spine of a book down to spin a wall open to find the guest bedroom.

This was the only room in the house that didn't seem to have been painted or worked on at all. It had open walls, orange insulation peeking through the wooden supports. In the cramped little room, there was a surprisingly new looking washing machine and dryer. On the other side of the room there was a large white freezer.

I smiled to myself, taking great enjoyment out of this little room. Edward laid the sheets over the dryer, frowning to himself and looking through the detergents on a shelf over the washing machine. He leaned up onto the top of the machine to get a better look.

I sat cross-legged on the carpeted floor, printed with dull yellowed flowers—years of being walked over had ground the carpet thin and I could feel the chill of concrete underneath me—and sat to watch Edward scale the wall. I didn't know what else to do with myself, so I sat and watched him with mild amusement. I had the strangest sensation of Daja view, feeling like I was watching Renee with one of her stunts, one that I hadn't been able to deter her from.

This felt _very_ much like home.

Alice danced in then with her own armful of clothes, casting Edward a peculiar glance. "Can I help you with something?" She wondered, one perfect eyebrow raised.

Edward sighed in defeat, "How do you get blood out of clothes?"

Now both of Alice's eyebrows shot up, and she finally looked to the bundle of bed sheets on the dryer, gasping as she saw the obvious dark stain. She dropped her armful of clothes and jumped forward, finally seeing the blended bandage on Edward's shoulder, a little late like I had.

"Edward!" She gasped, "What happened?"

I curled my legs up to make room for her to bolt past me, thoroughly forgotten on the floor. I thought quickly about leaving, but it seemed wrong to leave without letting Edward know I was about to roam around his house. Instead I dropped my eyes politely—trying to be less intrusive—and scanned what I could swear was an exact duplicate of my secret hide out in Renee and my first house.

Edward jumped from the washing machine, both hands up with a calming expression on his face. "Deep breath, Alice. I'm fine."

Alice's hand moved to her own shoulder—an unconscious gesture—and with her other hand reached for Edward's shoulder. "What happened?" she murmured quietly. In the dreary orange light, her eyes were a brilliant array of colours. They flickered from green to blue to grey and back to green again with each slight movement of her eyes.

Edward laughed, and I frowned at him. Alice's concern almost had me standing to worry over Edward too.

"Bella bit me. All that time with your patients has made you soft Alice. Or is Jasper rubbing off on you?" Edward teased, throwing me a wink.

I felt much more comfortable now that I had been acknowledged. I smiled back at him.

"She _bit_ you?"

The comfortable feeling disappeared just as soon as it had come.

Edward returned his attention back to his sister, looking at her wearily. "_She_ is right behind you. And it was just…." Edward chuckled, shaking his head, "Not _just_, but it was in the heat of the moment."

Alice threw me an apologetic glance. "Sorry Bella, I didn't see you down there. I'm so used to looking _up_ to see people." Then she directed a stern look towards Edward. "Did you clean it?"

Edward hesitated, "Sort of." Alice's eyes narrowed at Edward's elusive answer. Edward's eyes narrowed in response, and his chin rose in stubborn defensiveness. "I washed it, I just didn't disinfect it." When Alice stayed stonily quiet, eyes as hard as a frozen lake, a petrified forest, a chilling bar of steel, Edward sighed, looking away. "I wanted to go back to bed; Bella started talking in her sleep."

His eyes flickered to mine to share a small smile while my face flushed. I hadn't been aware that we would be declaring the points of last night to anyone. If we had, I probably would have been more aware of my teeth.

Alice let out a long tired sigh. "You're starting to show the characteristics of an obsessive infatuate."

Edward ran his hand through his hair with a sheepish expression. "Well…yeah."

Alice's eyes were steeling again. "Edward…." I stood up slowly, hoping that I wouldn't be attracting _too_ much attention. Alice was getting angry again though, and I had already had my quota of _that_ for the day.

"Alice." Edward growled, "Stop worrying. I can take care of myself."

"Stop _worrying_?" Alice gasped, grandly gesturing towards the sheets, "Look how much you _bleed_. That had to be a deep bite. Are you sure she wasn't trying to get you _off_ of her?"

Puzzled, Edward followed her gesture and then smiled. "Ah," He chuckled lowly, "That's Bella's." He reached over Alice and took the sheets. With a defeated sigh, he just rubbed some detergent directly into the sheet, no longer paying his sister any attention.

Alice didn't notice this, since I was now the one who had her full, wide eyed attention. "What _happened_?"

"I…I didn't mean…" I stuttered over my words, taking a step back from the staggering intensity of her eyes.I had seen traces of this intensity in Edward's eyes, but never in such a concentrated dose.

Edward broke the immobilizing spell she had cast with a laugh. "Would you _stop_? She lost her virginity last night. Now why don't you stop terrorizing her and go do something with Emmett? I love you dearly Alice, but people who don't know you like we do can't take your…stronger personality in concentrated doses."

Edward's back was turned to her, loading the washing machine. He didn't see Alice's jaw pop open, or the silent way that she spun to stare at his back. Speechless. An icy shiver of foreboding ran down my spine.

"Bella," Alice finally murmured in a strained, quiet voice; never looking away from Edward's back. "Do you mind waiting outside? I need to talk to my brother about something." The braids that hung down Alice's back shivered like tiny waking appendages, her fists curled tightly at her side.

I took a hesitant step back, unsure. Edward had frozen where he was, not turning around to face Alice, though I knew he must have heard the same barely contained emotion that I saw shaking her petite form. After a short moment though, he turned to give me a serine look. "Go ahead; I'll be out in a minute." Despite his calm demeanour, his shoulders were too tense, his jaw too hard.

I nodded, shooting them both one more anxious glance before I backed all the way out of the room. I closed the door softly behind me, facing the kitchen again. The light seemed too blue now after the laundry room's poor lighting.

I swallowed thickly, not sure what to do with myself for a moment before I climbed the stairs back into Edward's room.

Once I opened the door to Edward's room, my eyes flickered to the stripped bed. I sighed, flipping the mattress over to hide the blood that had leaked through. The other side had an ever bigger stain, looking like grape soda.

I rolled my eyes and flipped the mattress back over, moving past to look out at the rain pattering hypnotically against the huge window while I waited.

The grey screen of water on the window made the trees dotting the yard shiver in a blurry, unsteady dance on the ground, the tops just a few feet above my head. I crossed my legs, sitting on the floor to watching the water while my heart pattered a much less rhythmic beat.

I was sure that Alice's reaction back in the laundry room said that she understood what I knew. Somehow having Alice on my side didn't make me feel any better.

"You can give me dirty looks or you can just get it off your chest."

I jumped up, spinning around the room when I heard Edward's voice, distant and muffled by an underlying echo. It reverberated through his voice, and I felt like I was listening to him speak through some old and distant underground metallic tunnel.

I searched down around the ground, looking for the origin of his voice only to find a vent from the laundry room in the floor at the corner of Edwards's room. I flopped back onto the carpet and watching the ceiling, too shocked to decide whether the temptation to hear how Alice's argument would pan out for—not just Edward, but me as well—or whether eaves dropping on their conversation was wrong. Wrong enough to make me get up and leave the room now.

"Are you _insane_?" Alice hissed.

Edward sighed, a breathy metallic sound. "I'm sending in my two weeks notice to Charlie on Monday. I'm going to take dad up on his job offer at the hospital. I've already got this figured out Alice, you don't need—"

"Oh, _that's_ brilliant Edward, because the hospital is going to take you in with open arms when you're already getting involved in scandals." Alice snapped with heavy sarcasm. I nodded with her, watching the ceiling. If I had more nerve, I would have said something like that to Edward.

"What _scandal_? She's eighteen, Alice. I didn't rape her, I didn't even pressure her into it, and it's not like I'm going to leave her hanging. I want a relationship with her." Edward said the last part quietly, and then I faintly heard the sound of water running. Edward starting the washing machine.

There was a long stony silence, and then I heard a soft sound. "Look…Edward I really do like Bella already. Really I do, and that's not the problem here, please take that into consideration."

Alice was met with silcence.

"But think about how this looks Edward!" Alice continued, "Why do you think Charlie wanted you to watch Bella this weekend?"

My eyes flickered over the ceiling randomly as I tried to think where she was trying to take this. I heard the same hesitation in Edward's voice when he spoke again. "Because….Charlie didn't want her to spend the weekend alone."

"Why."

Edward heaved a sigh, and then his voice took on a different tone, like a cheesy psychiatrist. "And how does that make you feel?" There was obvious exasperation in his voice, and I realized that he would have seen Alice's question as an analysis. Maybe I would have smiled if my heart wasn't hammering in my chest, a cool bead of sweat moving down my neck.

Alice ignored him, "Do want to know why _I_ think he left her with you?" Edward muttered something under his breath that I couldn't make out. "Because she's important to him. She's the only family he has left right now, Edward. He wanted to make sure that she would be safe and happy."

"That's what I want too."

"So Bella comes over for the weekend as an innocent, and leaves with a boyfriend who is not only five years older then her, but has also been using her body all weekend. Wonderful Edward, just brilliant."

"It's not like that." Edward snapped angrily, "I _know_ her Alice. We've talked lots of times. Almost everyday for the past month."

"You mean when you sneak into her room at night? I really doubt that's going to stand up in court."

"_Alice_—"

"You're so _stubborn_!" She cried, "Can't you seen any kind of _reason_ here? Any idea of what you're _doing_? Ugh, I'm talking to a wall."

"Where are you going?" Edward asked after a short pause.

"I'm going to talk to Bella." Alice muttered. The sound was so low that I barely made it out through the vent in the floor. It sounded like they had moved out from just underneath me, closer to the door. I grimaced, accidentally stumbling onto a conversation was one thing, but now I was making an effort to hear them. I never would have condoned myself of that kind of behaviour before today.

"Don't," Edward gasped quickly, his voice changing from defensive and obdurate, to pleading. "I just talked her out of leaving."

I heard a soft click, the door closing. I hadn't even heard it open. "Why did she want to leave?"

Alice's question was met by silence. And then finally, Edward's voice returned with a dangerous edge. Something I hadn't ever heard in his voice before. "If she leaves because of you, I swear Alice…I'll sell your Porch."

"You can't, it's _my_ car. And I can't make anyone do anything—you're the one with the gun here—there's always a choice. I'm just offering her my opinion."

I closed my eyes, taking a deep breath through my nose.

I didn't want to listen anymore.

I opened my eyes and stood up, casting one last glance at the dreary Forks weather. Before I had met Edward, I had been planning to go to the University of Florida, promising Charlie that I would visit as often as I could.

Graduation was just a few months away, then I would be able to say goodbye to Forks. The thought always left me feeling breathless, like being punched in the stomach, especially recently. Forks had become more like home to me in that last year and a half.

Maybe that's what I needed thought, another push that would make me leave Edward alone. Going halfway across the continent should be enough distance.

I walked down the stairs, headed for the livingroom, hoping desperately that there wouldn't be another vent there. I kept to the inside of the staircase, pressed against the wall to avoid the startling breeze that tingled in a disconcerting way. Edward still had my underwear.

I stopped, a sudden horror coming over me. _I had been sitting on the couch cross-legged in front of Edward!_ I covered my face with both hands. This was why I was a jeans kind of girl. In bed it was a different story for him to see my girly parts, but in his living room…it felt disreputable.

I hurried down the breezy staircase—face burning—and nearly ran into the living room. My heart was racing, my breathing harder then I was used to. I almost crossed my legs by habit when I sat down on the couch.I quickly straightened them out, glaring at the treacherous skirt. The only skirt I had, even falling past my knees, was still too short for me and my clueless skirt-bearing etiquette.

I belonged in the eighteen hundreds where you couldn't even show your _ankles_.

I heard a soft movement across the floor—a pant leg brushing against the hard wood—and looked up in time to see both Alice and Edward walking out of the kitchen. Alice spotted me right away, forcing a quick unhappy smile. She looked like she was about to do something painful.

I wondered what I looked like to her, sitting on the couch; my back too straight and tense with the last of the blood draining from my face, leaving it cool as I watched them both. I wondered what she thought of me, or even if she liked me still for having been so irresponsible with her closest brother, her _twin_.

Edward hadn't seen me right away. He was studiously ignoring Alice's presence beside him—sulking—even going so far as to avoid looking at her altogether. He turned once he was out of the kitchen, jumping three steps up the stairs in a single bound, leaning against the wooden railing. "Bella?" He called, about to take the rest of the stairs up.

Alice gave him a puzzled look. "Edward. She's right here."

Edward turned quickly, blinking back surprise. "Oh, I could have sworn I heard you go up stairs." He had turned so that he was balancing with one foot on the third step, the other suspended in the air. I felt suddenly sure that if he took a step forward, he would walk across the air. He suddenly looked…godlike standing surrounded by colours that both belonged in exotic, untouched places, and beautiful homely environment that I felt and touched and saw everyday. His face still held the severity of his argument with Alice, eyes too dark and sharp. His startling magnificence sent a tingle down my spine.

Heat flared in my face again, and I looked away quickly. "I'm right here."

A brilliant smile lit Edward's face at my blush, loosing the glorious sternness. He looked like he was about to laugh until Alice caught his eye with a stern look.

I'd _given_ that look before. To my mother when she was fawning over a puppy in the window. It was the 'don't get attached look'. Though for us, it had been because Renee knew she was allergic to dogs and we really hadn't been able to afford him with her wedding with Phil so close.

Edward gave Alice his own look, and I'm sure that if he hadn't been raised better, the look would have come with a gesture. He walked by her and sat on the couch with me for a moment, a smile starting to creep up his face again as he eyes my rigidly placed legs.

"Not crossing your legs again?" he wondered in an innocent voice, implying nothing with his sister standing three feet away from him with her own sinister expression.

I blushed, throwing him a sharp look. Embarrassment making me lash out belligerently, "Thanks for telling me." I muttered sarcastically, looking back into my lap.

I fiddled with my hands on my lap, irritated. There was a surprised silence, and then Edward touched my chin, brining my face up so I had to look at him. Green eyes flickered across my face in a staggered expression of confusion. "Are you…upset?"

His face was so priceless, looking like I just threw him the most ridiculous twist. I couldn't help the choked laugh that bubbled up my throat and escaped through my pursed lips. Also that he was so far off—that I was angry with _myself_—was also a major factor.

Edward turned to give the same staggered expression to Alice, now even more confused then he was before. Alice let one snort of a giggle out, quickly brining her hand up to her lips, not touching her lips, but covering her smile.

That lasted until Edward's eyes widened and he threw me an accusatory look. "You're playing with me."

Alice exploded into laughter. Edward shot her an amused look, my sudden inexplicable mood swing smoothing over their sibling bickering. Over me and my mistake, but I was sure genetics had some role to play.

Edward chuckled once, and then leaned down touching his lips to mine once. He pulled back to give me an almost demanding look, softened by a half lidded smirk. "See you in two weeks." He promised before capturing my lips in a long kiss.

Alice disappeared—poofed right out of my consciousness—as his lips formed with mine. My fingers tangled themselves in his hair, a soft sigh escaping my lips, giving him permission for admittance. Edward tilted his head to the side, letting his tongue sooth across mine.

Someone cleared their throat behind Edward.

When he pulled away, he chuckled once more and took the stairs up to where his brother was still hiding after calling down Alice's mighty wrath. Alice quickly glided down to take his spot on the couch, the humour slowly fading from her face with a trace of annoyance at mine and Edward's display.

She hesitated for a quick moment, twirling one of the stiff braids around her finger. She took a breath, straightened her shoulders and securing me into place with her steely stare. "Alright, so I want you to understand something before I say anything. I love my brother, his well being is my first priority, everything else is secondary. Understood?" She asked, eyes cool as they stared into my wide ones, locked into place.

It was horrifying how Edward could lock me in my place with a stare. Bad enough with just him, but did his _sister_ have to have the same capability? It didn't seem fair to me. There had to be something to even the playing field or else I would be pinned to the wall left and right.

I nodded wordlessly and Alice sighed, her gaze softening. "Alright, the second thing I want you to understand is that I like you. And honestly Bella, if you were just a _little_ older, I wouldn't have a problem with this…but like I was saying before—"

"I'm leaving Alice." I interrupted her in a small voice, saving her from having to painfully explain why I was still the stranger in her house. I smiled a little at her shocked expression. It didn't seem to quite fit the perfect certainty with which she moved and spoke, like the future was expected and planned out before time for her.

The surprise faded from her eyes as shrewd scepticism took its place. "That's not what Edward thinks." She said slowly, not taking her eyes off me as she spoke. I waited a moment, watching her riddle the words out.

"No," I agreed just as slowly. "He doesn't."

We watched each other's faces carefully. "Huh." Alice said, both eyebrows rising, she leaned back and waited for me to continue.

"I have to confess…there was a vent in Edward's room." I looked away from her, down into my lap quickly and started to babble nervously. "I didn't know it was there, I'd just gone to wait for you two to finish talking, but then I _did_ hear you talking…and then I left—after a little while—so that's why Edward heard me on the stairs. But really, you were talking about _me_." I looked up tensing stubbornly for her rebuttal. "So I think I had a right to hear….a bit…by accident."

To my surprise, Alice had her lips pursed like she was biting back her amusement. "Bella." She said slowly, a smile breaking out across her face. "When you do something wrong, you're not supposed to _admit it_. Especially if you could get away with it. Which you could have. I can _almost_ see how Edward might risk keeping you around now." She gave me a contemplative look, and then shook her head. "Go on then, now that your confession's out of the way."

I swallowed. "Before…Edward and I were talking about my leaving. I'm sure you know which side he took, but he wouldn't even _consider_ what I was trying to tell him. He wouldn't just _let it go_ thought. I guess you know that too." I mumbled, my eyes in my lap, fiddling with the seam at the bottom of my skirt.

Alice gave a sigh that sounded so much like Edward's I almost look up to check that it was still Alice on the couch with me. "Edward can be a stubborn pinhead sometimes. You'll either get used to it, or he'll drive you out of your mind. I've had some of Edward's ex-girlfriends come and see me for a few sessions."

I smiled into my lap, I was sure that I could handle Edward…if I was ever given a real opportunity. I swallowed and took a breath before continuing. "He can be stubborn." I agreed, leaving out the pinhead part out. I thought Edward was brilliant, not simple at all. "So instead of fighting with him…I've already made my choice."

Alice was silent again, and I heard disapproval in the silence. My shoulders suddenly felt very heavy. "I didn't know how else…" I trailed off, choking back a frustrated sob that pricked behind my eyes. I clenched my teeth, hands fisting in my lap as I struggled to keep the frustrated tears at bay.

I felt a small soft warm hand on mine. "So you're leaving after this weekend?" Alice asked her voice gentle. I nodded, still not looking up even after she squeezed my hands gently. "I can't say I would so the same," Alice murmured, "you've made the wrong decision for the right reason, so I can understand."

I peeked up—first making sure that my eyes were dry—and saw Alice's expression. Unbelievably, she looked at me with trustful understanding, looking almost sympathetic. "You aren't angry?" I blurted, dumbfounded.

Alice shrugged, "I trust you have a plan. You're more mature then I thought before." She said, cocking her head to the side. "Do you think that this trait developed because of your mother and father's divorce, or have you had to take care of Charlie lately?" she gazed at me in an analytical way.

I smiled, pursing my lips. "Neither."

Alice laughed, "I really hope we get to meet again…after." She grinned like this was a very likely fact.

I didn't believe that it was likely, but I smiled at her hopeful expression anyways.

--------------------------------------------------------- -------------------------------------------- --------

**A/N: Woot! An update! So I know you have questions about why Bella didn't get sick with the blood. In all honesty, I didn't think about that part until this chapter, but what Bella feels in the book is light-headedness and dizziness. She gets the same thing off Edward, just in a more pleasurable form, so we'll pretend that she was so caught up in Edward's dizzy-making capabilities, she didn't notice the blood.**

_**shhhh**_

**Next, this was supposed to be a short story, seven chapters at **_**most**_**. Obviously that's not the case, I'll be cutting some parts out to make it shorter, but I get too caught up in all the trivial things that the characters say that I get side tract. If the chapters get boring because of it, tell me and…I'll do my best, at the same time, it's centred on their love, so don't be expecting Bella to be jumping off any burning buildings anytime soon, :P**

**Thank you all so much for your patience and wonderful reviews.**


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

**Teeny Tiny Twilight**

Alice had this inexplicable way for first knowing where your argument was heading and stopping it and then choking off the rest of your defiance with guilt twined with vicious reason. I didn't stand a chance.

"When you feel nervous, or emotionally stressed, where do you look to first for comfort?"

"I don't understand." I sighed, my head already felt impose upon with Edward's unfailingly accurate deductions of my thoughts from looks, or even muttered words. I didn't really feel up to Alice's psychoanalysis. She swore that it was only for her over view of my personality. She was—with my permission—going to break confidentiality and give it to Edward.

I wanted to go upstairs to see what Edward was doing. It was hard to concentrate on anything else when I couldn't see him, still knowing he was within searching distance. Touching distance…

"Do you eat? Watch TV? Go for a walk? Or do you lash out?" She wondered. She flicked one of her braids out of her face where it had fallen in an annoyed gesture.

"If you don't like long hair, why don't you just cut it?" I wondered, sidetracked from her question by the simple gesture. Sort of dancing around and away from the question altogether.

Alice shrugged, "I've thought about it, but I've had long hair for as long as I can remember. It wasn't until I got involved in university did it really start to bother me." Then she levelled a look at me. "Are you avoiding the question for a reason?"

I groaned, "I go for a drive somewhere…or I walk....It depends on my mood. And where I am." There was no where that I would have really wanted to go in forks, and nowhere that wasn't a three day drive.

Alice nodded, scribbling something down on a note pad. "Alright, now when I say a colour, I want you to say the first thing that pops into your head."

I nodded and she started. "Blue."

"Edward."

"Purple."

"Edward."

"Orange."

"Edward."

"Pink."

"Guess," I sighed tiredly. I flickered another understated glance up the stairs, waiting for rescue. It would have been inexplicably soothing here—taking the discomfort of being in someone else's house into account—if I could reach out and touch something familiar, knowing it was mine. Edward would do, but he was otherwise occupied with his brother. I figured they were working on fixing whatever Emmett had broken earlier that Alice had been so upset about.

I even would have opted for my duffle bag, only a quarter full or clothes and other necessities, but even that was out of my reach. Alice had moved it into the dark sinister hallway upset by old pieces and paintings that they refused to get rid of. I couldn't believe that the Cullens were pack rats. Everything held nostalgic value.

I was so nervous about going into the dimly lit hallway, riddled with obstacles that were set to pitch me into beloved keep me sakes that I decided to bite my tongue and clench me hands together in my stiffly positioned lap to keep from fiddling uneasily.

Alice sighed and kicked her legs up onto the couch. I shot the new designer jeans and patterned shirt that she had changed into an envious look. My back was aching from the skirt that I still wore that was currently binding me into a stiffly held formal position.

"You're no good at this Bella. How can I learn anything about you if you're not giving me anything to go on?" Alice complained lightly.

"Sorry," I mumbled, unwarranted guilt flooding through my suddenly heavy chest.

I was spared another round of Alice's shotgun questions. Emmett came down the stairs, grinning hugely with a picture frame held proudly—like a trophy from a well played game—high over his head. Childlike dimples only heightened his charmingly candid smile. Edward was closely following Emmett with a crooked indulgent grin, shaking his head a little as he watched Emmett's grandiose display.

He walked straight to Alice and handed her the picture frame, there were spider-web cracks across the glass. In it was a blond haired man with his arms wrapped around Alice, his cheek resting on the top of her head, while Alice looked to be struggling to kiss his cheek. They were both laughing.

The picture made me smile and Edward came to sit beside me, a different smile making my heart sprint. His fingers wormed their way into my fists, unclenching my hands, and then soothing over the crescent moon shaped impressions where my almost non-existent nails had bitten into the flesh. His lips fluttered against the hollow behind my ear for a moment so short, I almost thought I had imagined it.

"Emmett has an idea," Edward murmured, "You are perfectly free to say no. Please say no."

Emmett grinned hugely, "Swimming!"

Alice gasped, and then clapped her hands together excitedly. She reached forward and took both of my hands in hers, eyes shinning with excitement. "Oh please Bella? It'll be so much fun, and it's the only way Edward won't _totally_ monopolize you."

I felt Edward laughing silently behind me. I hesitated; Emmett and Alice were giving me pleading looks while Edward was whispering what we could be doing together while they were out so low in my ear I had to strain to hear it.

"I"—I hesitated again when Edward silenced to hear my answer and Emmett waited with an expression so bright it was almost impossible to refuse—"I…don't have a bathing suit."

Emmett's face fell, and he frowned down into his lap where he had taken a seat on the arm of the couch that was only large enough for three people. I felt Edward's cheek on the top of my head, a contented sigh saturating my hair.

Alice shrugged, "I bet I can find something that's your size, and if not, then we could just stop of quickly at the mall."

Edward sighed again, irritated this time. "Alice, _when_ is there ever a 'quick stop at the mall' with you?" Alice stuck her tongue out at Edward and Emmett looked happy again.

Everyone was looking at me again, I shifted uncomfortably and looked down at my skirt. "Sure, Swimming. Fun."

Emmett laughed loudly, and I couldn't help but be infected by the laughter, laughing with him and shooting a grin at Edward. Edward grinned wryly back at me before touching his nose to mine. "I guess I can share you for a little while." Edward wrapped his arms around me going for a tight embrace, but I was suddenly across the couch, being balanced on the edge of the couch while Emmett crushed my ribs together like an accordion.

My added weight with Emmett on the end of the couch made it rise a little on Edward's side, upsetting our precarious balancing act. Edward leaned back against his side of the couch, his expression calm, and gestured for Alice to join him to even the weight a little more. Emmett and I teetered to the left, towards the floor despite their efforts.

"Emmett!" Edward jumped forward, his calm finally disrupted when he watched the miraculous act of gravity claim us. Emmett threw me at him before falling with a mighty crash to the floor. Only his legs were left on the couch arm, which quickly disappeared. Emmett was standing again, grinning hugely and looking absolutely unharmed.

I'd sort of fallen on top of Alice, and she laughed, pushing me off of her lap and into Edward's. "She's just as bad as Emmett." Alice's laugh was so opposite to Emmett's that together, hers sounded like tinkling silver, and Emmett's a mighty drum.

"Better then having triplets." Emmett grinned at Alice and Edward, then shot me a sly wink. I smiled back at him, having already noticed the similarities between the two of them. Sometimes when Alice rolled her eyes, or gave an impatient sigh because I hadn't answered her question right, she looked so much like Edward I had to do a double take.

Their expressions changed at the same time, "We're individuals." They both said at the same time.

Emmett leaned in, sharing a companionable wink. "Creepy, isn't it?"

Alice jumped up, taking my hand quickly and started to lead me towards the stairs. "Come on, I think I have something in your size. I bought it the other day, but it was too big for me."

Edward shot her a dubious look. "Then why did you buy it?"

Emmett started towards the kitchen, I hesitated to watch him turn and disappear into what looked like the wall from the angle I was watching at. I knew he was taking the dark hallway, and I thought that I should warn him that Alice had moved my bag…

Edward followed him for a moment, the chary caution on his lips came too late though, and I heard a muffled "_umph_" echo off the hard floors and into the living room, closely followed by something falling.

Edward winced, and then his eyes widened and he gave one surprised laugh, followed by another until he was laughing. He had one hand over his eyes, the other gesturing that we see this.

I bit my lip and lightly followed Alice to where Edward was still laughing. Alice blinked once, and then joined in with his laughter. I stepped last into the mouth of the hallway, and gasped.

Emmett had somehow managed to wedge one leg in a dresser that was missing its bottom drawer, one of its sides had been ripped off to show the carcase of the ancient wooden antique, while a spinning wheel that had been hanging on the wall had fallen on his other leg, freezing him mid-upside-down-split in the air.

He grimaced, shifting in small movements to try and free one of his legs.

With an empathetic look, I risked a trip down the hall. Some other things had fallen down in Emmett's wake. Inch for inch, we were equally as clumsy as the other. Inch for inch, Emmett was a _lot_ bigger than me.

Emmett gave me a part relieved, part confused look as I worked to lift the heavy wooden spinning wheel off his leg. Finally I managed to heave it off, only to stumble backwards and catch my foot on what had tripped Emmett up in the first place. The thick strap of my bag.

I lurched backwards, but had the piece of mind to drop the wooden wheel as I fell.

Edward was absolutely in tears now he was laughing so hard, Alice was doubled over on the floor. Their laughter was such a stunning harmony it was hard to find it in myself to be too angry though I could feel my face burning with indignation.

Emmett finally freed his leg and stood, reaching out a helpful hand to help me up. I took it, and he pulled me until I was on my feet. I checked the damage done; I could feel a tender belt around my waist that was a little tender from my earlier explorations with Edward, and the small of my back ached hollowly.

Emmett kept my hand in his, "I'll watch your back if you watch mine." He promised quietly, his expression the most serious that I had ever seen it. There were lines I hadn't noticed before over his eyes that I could only see in the dim light, his lips with naturally pulled up from smiling so much looked unnaturally straight and solemn.

For a short moment, I was feeling the same hesitation I did when Edward implied something at a future date past this last weekend. Already Emmett was feeling like a brother to me. I blinked back tears, reminding myself of my conviction with one flickered glance at Edward.

I squeezed his hand back and smiled, "For as long as I'm here." I promised him, dancing around the actual premise of _here _and time.

Emmett smiled and went to yank me into a hug, hitting his massive elbow off of the heavy spinning wheel. He laughed, holding his elbow and letting go of me. "Oh, funny bone."

"Come on, come on." Alice complained, looking at the clock on the wall above the microwave. "The pool closes at two; we have to hurry if you want to find an outfit." Her tiny hand closed around my wrist and started to pull me in the opposite direction of where Edward and Emmett were now maneuvering the war zone. Edward with skilled precision and natural grace, while Emmett lurched over old, dusty, _fragile_ memories.

Something Alice said caught my attention. "_Outfit_? I thought we were just looking for a bathing suit."

Alice sighed, "Fine, I guess we don't have time right now, but _next_ time—" Alice stopped as she realized there would be no next time. "Well…maybe I could pick you up sometime and I could take you shopping with me."

I hummed under my breath, knowing I'd be miles away in collage when the air had cleared enough for that.

I was nearly blinded when I walked into Alice's room. Everything was so _bright_. There even seemed to be metallic shimmers in the wall that caught the light and threw speckles of light across the walls, like hundreds of miniature disco balls.

Alice dragged me towards her closet and I raised an eyebrow at her. It was about the size of her room. Once upon a time it could have been a guest room, but she had taken it, and transformed it into a massive closet. I remembered when Edward had walked into the hidden laundry room and I had expected him to spin a wall to find a guest room. That wasn't so far from the truth.

Alice seemed to have the whole expanse mapped out, she walked into one divided space—there were lots of these divisions through out the room—and started to pull some hangers over.

While they clacked together, I took the chance to gape at the room (I couldn't quiet figure something so _large_ as a closet) and at some of the clothes. Some were casual, already paired with pants, while others were cocktail dresses matched with high-heels and silvery flats.

"Found it." Alice cried, and I turned to see what she was holding up.

I winced, it was beautiful. It was blue with stripes of white running across horizontally, and would have been perfect except…it was a bikini. The rest of her bathing suits looked of similar styles, some were hardly straps of fabric held together with string, while others were one pieces with huge holes in the back and the front.

"Thanks." I croaked, then cleared my throat, trying to disguise it as a cough. "Thank you so much, I'll go see if it fits."

Alice smiled, "Sure, I'll meet you down stairs in half an hour."

I blinked. _Half an_ _hour_? I nodded and hurried into Edward's room, wondering for whose sake it was for. Maybe it wasn't going to take her that long to find her desired bathing suit, maybe the boys were downstairs doing something swimwear related that was going to take a while.

I pulled my shirt off and dropped my skirt, pulling on the bottoms, and then replacing my bra with the top. I struggled to roll it down over my head, and then to straighten it out over my breasts. It was a little more revealing than I was used to, but it securely covered all the pieces that I worried about. My only insecurity was my white stomach, usually covered by protective layers of fabric, especially after coming to forks.

I fiddled with the top a little more—missing the sound of entrance.

I didn't miss it when Edward's arms wrapped around my bare waist. "That looks nice." he commented quietly. "But I don't think it's on right."

"It isn't?" I wondered, frowning down at the top.

"Not at all." He murmured, and then he flicked a clasp in between my breasts that I had missed when I'd been trying to put it on originally. The top didn't have any sleeves or straps to keep it up, so the top just kind of…fell.

"Much Better." Edward purred by my ear, gently dragging his teeth along my earlobe. Without warning, his arms swept under my legs, knocking them out from under me, and catching my shoulders before I hit the floor, and then without giving me any time to recover from the scare, he tossed me onto the stripped bed.

He quickly joined me, hovering just above my body with a sly grin. His eyes were nearly black. He very obviously let his eyes roam over my chest, his smile widening. "God, you're gorgeous." He whispered. Then his eyes came to the bottoms of the swim suit. He frowned, "Something's missing here."

"Yes, that would be my _top_." It didn't go unnoticed to me that he was still fully dressed. Or at least he still had on what he had down stairs. Just a pair of jeans that I could feel rubbing against the smooth, silken-wax material of my bottoms. Heat was flooding between my legs at an alarming rate.

"No, I don't think that's it." Edward pretended to think for a moment before pulling my bottoms down my legs and then off, dropping them on the floor with my forgotten top. Edward hummed, "There, _that_ looks beautiful."

I looked at the swim suit on the floor, "Huh, I never thought of wearing it like that."Edward chuckled, shifting over me as he got undressed. I sighed regretfully, "Edward, we really don't have time for that. We're supposed to be down stairs in less than half an hour."

Edward was just in the middle of kicking his jeans off when he stopped to look at me. "You're the one who wanted to come upstairs for a quickie." He kicked his jeans off all the way, then dipped his waist so I could feel him straining against his boxers. "I want you." He whispered by my ear, eliciting a shiver. He started to kiss down from my neck to my collar bone while I checked the clock, judging the amount of time we had.

I gave a resigned sigh, "How quick is quick?"

Edward moved to take by breast into his mouth, sucking and nibbling lightly. I gasped, arching into him. "You want to find out?" he wondered, letting my breast fall before taking the other one into his mouth.

"Yes," I breathed, my eyes fluttering closed. Electricity buzzed over my skin, through it and into my bones until I was quivering under him.

I felt Edward's smile form around my nipple, and then his lips were at my ear again. "You need to be quiet though, because for as thick as these walls are…you're louder."

I nodded avidly, my eyes opening in time to see Edward give me an amused, unconvinced look before he shed his boxers. Edward grinned down at me, the dull grey light from his window made him look like he was glowing above me, and then with one well aimed thrust, he was inside of me.

I arched, a throaty moan escaping me. Edward's body shook in quiet laughter before his mouth sealed itself over mine. My eyes closed again while Edward's tongue started to dart in and out of my mouth in time with his rhythm. One hand was supporting his weight over me; his other hand was palming my breast.

I gasped and moaned in time with his movements, unable to stop the sounds from bubbling up through my throat. Each of them fuelled by the flames of pleasure that were licking up my spine, leaking into my limbs and muscles until I was absolutely shaking with it.

The hand that was playing with my breast moved, sliding down between our rocking bodies and leaving a trail of fire where he touched me until the reached the absolute heat of our union. His thumb started to trace circles around the sensitive bundle of nerves above us.

If Edward hadn't captured my mouth, I would have bitten him again.

The intensity of the feelings of pleasure were very nearly painful. My non existent nails managed to find purchase as I raked them down his back, bucking under him. Edward pressed his thumb tightly against my clit, and I went from looking at the base of the cliff I was about to jump off of, to suddenly jumping into empty air, skipping the whole process of climbing.

Edward started to grind his thumb into me, his mouth crushing mine as I screamed. And then slowly—unwillingly—I came back to earth.

Edward wasn't done yet. His mouth left mine, and I opened my eyes to see his eyes closed, panting over me. His hand came back up to my breast as my pleasure became secondary to him finishing quickly. I let him find his own release inside my body while I watched him.

The pleasure wasn't quite the same, wasn't so physical, more of a devoutly intimate feeling. Edward's hand left my breast to slide under my shoulders, his other hand did the same and he lowered his body until his every movement brushed his skin across mine. His head dropped by my ear, and my mind was suddenly overwhelmed by the sound of his breathing, his almost too quiet to hear murmurs of my name.

I wrapped my arms around him, feeling the pull of the muscles in his back under my hands. Edward's breath shuddered, and he drove himself deeply inside of me one last time, a shot of warmth raced through me.

Edward lowered his body farther onto me, gasping for breath as he recovered. I smiled, when we were laying like this—skin on skin—it was easy to believe that if we lay here together long enough, his skin would melt into mine, bone onto bone. There was nothing to interrupt the consistent contact….

I gasped, and instinctively moved to get up. I smacked against his chest and fell the short distance—a few centimetres maybe—back to the bed. Edward's arms tightened around me. "Bella?" he murmured, concern marred by the sleepy contentment in his voice.

"Edward," I gasped.

My head spun sickeningly. Oh no, oh god. For the first time, I really wished that I had dreamed this whole weekend, that I would wake up and find myself in my bed and then scold myself for dreaming something like this when I knew that Edward liked to spend the night…

Oh no, oh god.

My eyes stung, my chest suddenly filled with icy-cold water-logged cotton. I felt the tears, brought on by a sudden crash of fear and anger and stress so tightly coiled in my chest that I wanted to die to end it all right now.

I wasn't on birth control. Edward wasn't wearing a condom—and at twenty three, I really doubted he'd had a vasectomy.

Of course Edward wouldn't have thought of that, not since _I_ was the one who had suggested we first have sex. He wouldn't be worried about catching an STD or STI off of a virgin, and he would think that someone like me would have taken careful precautions for this. Only someone scatterbrained and immature like Renee would let herself become pregnant at eighteen. But of course, I wasn't like Renee…

What if _I_ was pregnant? If, at this moment, there was a new little Edward starting inside me?

"Bella?" Edward asked again, sounding more concerned now, he moved to see my face. His eyes were so oblivious that I was struck with a new wave of head spinning nauseousness. What if I was? Could I kill the oblivious little baby inside me? Or would I be in collage when I really started to show? Could I manage to put the little baby up for adoption and not let anyone know, least the knowledge reach Edward back in the quiet town of Forks Washington.

I closed my eyes, forcing myself to store the fear away until later, when Edward couldn't pick the words from my mind. Forced myself back into the stable present that wasn't plagued with what if's yet.

When I opened my eyes, Edward was still staring at me anxiously. When he saw that I was calm, his face twisted in confusion, but his tight stance relaxed a little. I forced a smile.

"Ready to go swimming?"

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**A/N: Don't hurt me! I'll just clear this up right now. This isn't a story where Bella gets pregnant and runs off to some distant country to escape Edward. I can even grantee that she isn't pregnant, because it would drive me insane too if I were on the receiving end of this story. Promise. **

**And as far as updates go, I think I updated pretty quickly, so please leave me a happy review? They always starve away the writers block. **


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

**Teeny Tiny Twilight**

So I had my plan. I already had enough of Edward inside me to get seven girls pregnant, so asking Edward to put a condom on now was kind of moot. Besides, if I asked him to do that, he'd wonder why I was suddenly taking extra precautions, and I was positive it wouldn't take him long to make the leap that I hadn't taken any precautions at all. If Edward figured out that there was a chance that I was maybe _potentially_ carrying a little Cullen inside me, he'd no doubt risk life and limb to explain to Charlie I _might_ possibly be gaining a bit of weight in the next nine months…

Charlie would eat his soul before he even had the chance to finish his sentence.

So apparently I was flying more solo than I had previously thought. That was fine. Not really but, I was willing to believe that for this weekend. I'd lock that information away in a little drawer inside my head to panic over latter. Besides, there was always the chance that this was a bad time of the month.

I didn't remember much from grade nine sex education other than it was hard to concentrate with all the nervous giggling in the back rows of the classroom. What I did have a fuzzy memory of was that I ovulated once a month, and it was during this brief slot of time that I was really able to become pregnant.

Besides, weren't there couples who tried for years to make a baby? Maybe I was one of those girls. I didn't know how I felt about that. At the moment, I was hoping for it.

It wasn't even like I could talk to someone about it, even to ask for advice. Dragging anyone else down with me now—even Alice—felt criminal. So instead I turned the key, and locked away my frights and fears. I'd come to terms with them later, after. Denial or not, I was forgetting about it for now. I turned the key in the pregnancy drawer, but not before throwing in the little fact of my leaving in along with it. If I was going into denial, I might as well enjoy it as much as possible.

As for the swimming expedition….It hadn't been what I had expected at all. We went to the wellness centre in Seattle, the long trip in a car felt too short when Emmett was trying to sing along with Edward's 50's station, purposely singing off key and twisting the words into ridiculous phrases.

I loved it.

Edward threatened to turn the car around and go back home. Emmett said that was fine; he'd drive us all there, and maybe even stop off for ice cream on the way home if Edward behaved.

At the pool (Edward never actually made good on his threat) I pointed out a peculiar scene out to Edward. A group of boys was huddled around a laptop in the far corner of the room, behind the towering built-in waterslide that didn't even come close to touching the soaring ceilings. For one, having a laptop near water didn't sound at all safe. Two, they looked _mischievous_.

Edward shrugged, this wasn't his jurisdiction, and he was off anyways. "Plus," he added, tilting his head towards the sniggering boys, "They look like their going to pull a prank, not blow a building up."

For a long while, nothing happened, and I slowly forgot about the boys.

Until the lights went out and we were submerged in spine tingling darkness.

As it turns out, they had tapped into the main computer in the building, putting them in control of lights, heat, water, and pressures. I'm sure it would have been a lot of fun; they had turned the swim zone into their own little playground of water that shot thirteen feet into the air instead of the regular two.

The life guards whistles started to scream before anyone had a chance to enjoy the time, and the boys were escorted off the premises. We had to come home earlier than expected.

I would never forget how it felt in the absolute dark though when Edward wrapped an arm around me, bringing me tightly against his chest as he safely swam us to the edge of the pool. I could feel every muscle pulling, moving against my own as he worked to keep our heads over the water and moved us to the edge.

I shivered now, thinking about it. Emmett interrupted my fantasy of what would have happened if we'd been alone in the pool…

"Emmett, stop." Edward groaned, "You're slaughtering Bill Snyder's music."

Emmett shrugged, "He's probably dead anyways. He won't mind. Why not put some _good_ music on, like country or good new fashioned rock?"

Edward sighed like he'd had this discussion many times over. "Have you ever tasted well aged wine? Or maybe Cheese?"

"Yes. It was covered in green stuff and had better taste than this crap. Change the station." Emmett reached forward to change the station himself when Edward didn't move.

Edward's eyes narrowed at the road, and his hand flicked out quickly to capture Emmett's wrist, pushing down on the hollow in the bone. Emmett started laughing, "Ow, oh that's cheating." He started to struggle, trying to pull his hand free. Edward's tightened and Emmett's laughing got louder. "Man that _hurts_."

Despite the happy sound, I winced. Alice sighed, "Emmett doesn't show pain like some normal _sane_ people."

I reached over and touched Edward's hand. "Edward, you're hurting him." I whispered quietly. If Edward didn't listen to me, I wasn't sure how to help Emmett. I couldn't really _force _Edward to do anything.

Edward's hand relaxed slightly. His eyes flickered from the road to my face for a moment—I had no idea what he saw on my face, but he sighed and let go of Emmett's hand.

Emmett quickly reached forward and changed the music station before ruffling Edward's hair tauntingly and then retreating into the back seat. Edward glared into his rear-view mirror at him, running a hand through his locks to try and tame his hair.

Edward groaned, "Bella, I'm getting the distinct impression that you're taking everyone side but _mine_." When I hesitated, Edward turned wide eyes on me, pouting slightly. His head cocked to the side, waiting for me to answer.

Before I could stutter out an answer, Alice saved me. Sort of.

"Of course not Edward. She's just favouring _our_ sides over yours." And then Alice gave me the most angelic face I had ever seen. A little sunlight had filtered through the window, creating a halo of light around her head to finish the effect.

Edward gave them a look of mock horror. "You've corrupted her."

Emmett snorted and Alice rolled her eyes, "Hardly. _You_ were the one to challenge her morals; we just lead her to our side."

"The dark side." Edward muttered under his breath. I laughed quietly at him.

Alice leaned up, resting her chin on the back of my seat, her head between Edward and I. "Edward's just unhappy because he's an attention hog. He loves to be the centre of attention. Perfect grades, having two highly respectable potential careers, and being voted Valid Victorian _and_ most sociable." Alice pouted minutely. "He was born in the spot light."

Edward laughed, "Do I detect a note of jealousy? Besides, you were the one who nearly superseded traditional psychiatric methods in the field." Edward's lips twitched in amusement. Not looking very offended at Alice's character analysis. I guessed Alice teased him about his accomplishments regularly. He didn't seem to mind.

Most of what Edward had said about the psychiatric field went over my head as he tried to explain to me exactly what Alice had accomplished. I nodded and smiled, watching the glowing pride in his eyes the whole time.

Alice smiled, "Edward also has a tendency to live vicariously through people since everything _he's_ done personally hasn't been enough. Just don't be surprised if he convinces you to go cliff diving or bungee-jumping with him." Alice sighed, and then ruffled Edward's already mused hair.

Edward frowned now…a little. "Aren't you breaking doctor patient confidentiality by telling her about my… state of mind?" he wondered, taking a familiar turn. We were close to the house now.

Alice whipped out a piece of paper and showed it to him. "Nope, you signed a legally binding contract."

Edward glanced at the road quickly, snatched the paper, and then looked back at the road. He skimmed the document quickly, and then looked shocked. "You forged my signature?" I stiffened in my seat. Edward was a cop after all, and this was a federal offence. Then Edward looked impressed, handing the document back to her, "Where did you learn to do that?"

Alice glowed with pride, "I'll never tell."

Edward pulled into the driveway and Alice skipped out the door and into the house. Emmett took the opportunity to taunt Edward a little more now that he could make a run for it with out hitting the road at seventy miles an hour. He leaned between the seats like Alice had and started to sing along with the country song playing. "…watching you take off your make-up, wonder'n why you even put it on…"

Edward made a playful grab at Emmett, laughing. Emmett jumped out of the car and made a run for the house. Edward rolled down the window enough to stick his head through. "I think I look good with make-up on." He called after Emmett. I could hear his laughter from inside the house.

Edward's neighbours, an older couple shot him a horrified look. Edward caught their stare, his smile fading. "I was just kidding." He called, to them. And then his eyes flashed with amusement though his face stayed serious. "I don't look good at all with make-up on."

I pulled on the back of Edward's shirt—the woman's mouth had dropped open in shock—and pulled him back into the car, "No wonder your neighbours don't like you." I muttered, shaking my head at him.

Edward shook his head, rolling the window up and turning the car off. "No, they've never liked us much. They've called the police on us for noise when Emmett was playing guitar hero. Imagine the look on their face when _I_ showed up at the door in my uniform." Edward chuckled darkly, and then sighed. "That was a fun night."

I shook my head and got out of the car. My hair, which had been almost dry during the ride home with the heaters on, started to collect the rain again. Edward sported diamonds in his hair while we hurried through the rain and into his house.

Edward chuckled, his eyes bright with excitement. He leaned down and kissed a rain drop from my nose, kissing my cheek next, my jaw, then finally my lips. I shivered while the blood burned under my skin. I imagined the rain steaming off my suddenly heated body before wrapping my arms around Edward's neck.

I wondered when the electrifying shivers would stop, when my heart would stop thundering in my chest whenever he touched me, or how my stomach jumped and twisted at just a look. I pressed myself closer to him.

Edward pulled away, smirking. "So, what are our plans for the rest of the day?" he ducked his head down to leave soft kisses along my neck while I gasped for breath. My lips were still tingling, a rush of adrenalin whispering through my veins until I felt like I could jump mountains in a single bound.

My fingers tangled in his hair, my eyes slipping closed. "I thought…maybe if I'm quite…we could explore a little more."

"Explore what?"

I jumped. Only Edward's highly tuned reflexes kept me from knocking him in the head with my shoulder as I spun to face Emmett. My whole face was a brilliant beacon on embarrassment. In the rush of the electrifying shivers, I'd…kind of forgotten about Emmett and Alice. "I—we—you didn't…" I stuttered, tripping all over myself, my tongue tying itself into knots and not remedying the situation in the least.

Emmett bit into an apple, watching my display with a growing smile. Edward was calm and collected at my side, he too was taking too much enjoyment in my floundering.

I looked between Emmett and Edward, then dropped my head. "Nothing." I mumbled.

Edward chuckled, "Would you mind distracting Emmett for a minute?" He asked, shooting his brother a look. "I have to quickly dress the bed."

Emmett gave me a playful look, "If you're so keen on exploring you could come with me and take a look in the back room." My stomach dropped sickly, and the colour drained from my face. I don't think Emmett and I were at an understanding of what exploring meant. Emmett shrugged, "Or not, I just thought you might stumble across something embarrassing enough to use for black mail later."

Edward shook his head and then went up the stairs quickly. I watched him go until he disappeared around the curve in the stairs. I sighed, and then looked at Emmett.

Emmett was grinning at me, not saying anything or trying to make me feel comfortable. No 'take a seat' or 'make yourself at home'. He continued to smile until I had to walk away. I went into the secret laundry room and switched the load of Edward's sheets over into the dryer.

After quickly reading the tag to make sure I wouldn't turn them into a massive pile of lint.

I was thinking more of being quiet instead of what I was doing. One moment I was listening for the sound of Edward upstairs, maybe just soft footsteps or the snapping of new sheets on the bed, the next all the clothes in the laundry room had been organized. Blacks, whites, and colours. I also found I had started a load of Alice's clothes.

"Oh, _crap_." I whispered, wondering if I should mess the clothes out of their piles.

"Wow, I've changed my mind. You are, absolutely, the best Edward's-girlfriend ever." Emmett said, staring at the neat piles of clothes. He chuckled, "It was my turn to do laundry too."

I looked up at the vent in the ceiling, wondering if Edward heard our voices, he'd realize that he _had_ heard me on the stairs earlier. That I'd been eaves dropping in on him and Alice.

I hurried out of the laundry room, closing the door and meeting Emmett in the kitchen. "Will Alice be upset?" I wondered, my eyes flickering back to the pantry door look alike.

Emmett looked openly shocked. An open book like me. No wonder Edward and Alice were so good at reading me. So much better than most people. They'd had practice. "Why would she?"

I shrugged, relieved. "I don't know, some people might not like a stranger handling their clothes. Kind of an invasion of privacy."

Emmett laughed and I jumped. I wasn't used to such a booming laugh; it took me slightly off guard. "Don't be stupid. Edward got you out of your clothes, that means you get free reign of ours. Especially if you're cleaning."

My eye brows rose in disbelief. I didn't know quite what to say to that. Emmett's voice turned sly, "Hey Bella, why don't you go upstairs and see how Edward's coming along with that bed."

I hesitated warily, "I think he wants me to stay down stairs."

Emmett looked even more childlike then usual with a put on innocent expression. "But he's just changing the sheets. Why should you have to stay down stairs for that?"

I narrowed my eyes, "You know something."

Emmett grinned. "I'm the big brother, I know _everything_. And you and Edward are really pathetic. _Exploring _Bella? I thought Edward was naïve." he shook his head at me in mock disappointment.

I gasped. He'd _known_. He'd known before and had knowingly phrased his sentence to tease me. Brothers were _nasty_.

I started at the thought. I hadn't realized until that moment, but Emmett honestly felt like _my_ brother. Which scared me a little since he was also Edwards.

Alice came out of the dark hallway with an arm load of clothes hangers, some dangling off her wrists like bracelets while the rest were bunched together in her hands. She scowled at Emmett. "Shut _up_ Em, You're scaring her. Just because they're a little reserved doesn't mean you get to rib her every chance you get." Alice marched up the steps with the clothes hangers tinkling against each other softly. I heard her mutter something derogatory about a Rosalie as she went.

Emmett's lips twisted to the side a little, as if he'd never considered that before. "So you _don't_ care that you're sleeping with a prude?"

I took a step back, disengaging myself from the conversation. "I'll…go see what Edward is doing." I mumbled under my breath, retreating up the staircase. I stopped on the second stair. "Damn," I mumbled under my breath and I realized he'd manipulated me into going to see Edward. "He's good." I herd a booming laughter from the kitchen and I scurried up the stairs quickly.

I hesitated before opening Edward's door, hoping he wouldn't mind the intrusion. If he wanted to keep it from me, and Emmett wanted me to see it, then I was sure Edward would try to hide what ever he was doing before I had the chance to come in if I knocked. It couldn't be _too_ bad. Emmett wouldn't purposely hurt his brother. Embarrass him? Probably.

I took a deep breath before stepping into the room. Edward was sitting cross-legged on the bed, a laptop in front of him. He looked a little frustrated but his attention was captured. My eyes widened as I caught a glance at the screen. There were maybe sixteen little stick figures on the screen in eight pairs, four to a line.

"Edward?" Edward spun, closing the laptop and staring at me with wide startled eyes, quickly shifting to automatic defensive anger.

"What are you doing? I thought I told you to stay with—"

"Emmett told me to come up here and see what you were doing." I muttered, my eyes drifting towards the laptop still running on the bed. It hummed a quiet tune in the uncomfortable silence that came after. I didn't look at his face when I asked my next question. "What—I mean….were you looking at…." I sighed, giving up. "I don't understand what you were doing."

I peeked up quickly to gage his expression. His lips were twisted in a sour expression still from the comprehension that his brother had knowingly betrayed him, and then he sighed. "Come here."

I took a hesitant step and then walked over, biting my lip nervously. I climbed onto the bed and curled up in his lap, hiding from his expression against his chest. He had a shirt on now, he'd gotten one before we left to go swimming, trying in vain to hide the nail marks I had left across his back. Emmett had teased us both when Edward came out of the public showers—marks standing out like flaming beacons from the heat of the water—and Alice laughed under her breath when Edward grinned hugely while I turned red and hid behind him.

He touched my hair softly. We listened to Emmett's footsteps up the stairs, down almost to Edward's room at the end of the hall, and then into Alice's room. There were some faint whispering sounds that I couldn't catch though I was sure they were talking in normal voices. The muffled sound made me sigh sadly. So much for exploring.

Edward misconstrued my sigh, giving his own in return. "Alright," he muttered before pressing his lips very lightly to the top of my head, so light the feeling could have been a hallucination, or maybe a soft breeze toying with me. "I've decided I like the way you look at me," he whispered, and I felt his breath playing in my hair tepidly.

The voices in the other room had quieted. Edward growled under his breath, "And I've decided that I really don't like it when my _siblings_ eaves drop on _private_ conversations." He snapped loudly. The bickering started again in the other room and then quieted again.

"Okay," Emmett yelled, "We're not listening."

There was a short scuffle and then Alice stomped past Edward's room with Emmett looking apologetic behind her. "Blew my cover…have to actually do something…missing opportunities…_brothers_." Alice continued to grumble until Emmett's loud foot falls drowned her out on the stairs.

Edward chuckled a little. "Sometimes we have boundary issues." I nodded, and then waited for him to continue with what he had started before. He took in a big breath. "Bella…I have to be honest and say that none of my relationships have ever revolved so intently around sex. I was always on the same intimate level as my girlfriends. We were either both naïve and still figuring out what physical love was, or we were both grown and educated on what we wanted. I've never had to help anyone explore before, and I really _hate_ to destroy the pedestal I've been trying to scramble on, but I don't know about a lot of positions out there."

Edward took another deep breath, and I went to move my head from where I had initially hid it against his chest to see his face, but his hand cupped the side of my head and kept it where it was against him. "Truth is Bella, I'm a little worried I'm going to exhaust my knowledge too quickly and I wont…." he hesitated for a moment, and where my ear was against his chest, I heard his strong steady heart beat speed. "I'm worried I won't be able to satisfy you." he murmured finally.

"Oh" I mumbled unhelpfully.

Edward chuckled a little, "so I was…uh," he cleared his throat. "researching."

I had to purse my lips to keep from laughing. Edward didn't seem to get embarrassed often—and why would he? He seemed kind of sort of…perfect. It was hard to find embarrassing flaws in someone like Edward.

I shook my head at him. Or tried to since it was still pressed firmly against his chest, listening to his speeding heart. "Edward, you'll never need to worry about _that_." I promised, knowing I'd blush hot enough for him to feel it through his shirt if I tried to talk about him satisfying me.

Edward relaxed a little, but not entirely. I had the feeling he thought I was trying to placate him, trying not to hurt his feelings or something just as ridiculous. "You sure? I mean I don't doubt that you mean that _now_, but maybe down the road…"

I wrenched my head from his arms so he could see my grin, and then I kissed him. Edward groaned quietly into my mouth and let us fall back onto the bed.

I pulled his shirt above his head. He helped me, but when I went to undo his pants he stopped me.

Figuring he had something planned where he was going to take his own sweet time, I pulled my own shirt off, and I Edward's arm reach around me to flick open the clasp on my bra in a quick lithe movement, but again when I went to take my skirt off, he stopped me.

I glared, feeling really ripped off. This had been my first real act of courage by trying to initiate something with any real amount of back bone and he wasn't _cooperating_. "You have issues." I snapped.

Edward smiled innocently, "Who, _me_?"

"Serious delusional issues." I muttered, and then looked down to realize a little belatedly that I was half way revealed to him while Edward was still covering all his manly parts.

I went to cover myself through an instinctive shyness I'd carried all my life—being naked with Edward felt almost as natural now as being clothed with anyone else.

Edward caught my hands, "Do you mind if I try something?" He wondered and my argument of fair play died in my throat.

"Sure?"

Edward took me so that my back was on his chest and we were both looking at the ceiling. Edward shifted under me a few more times. Rationally, I knew that I should have been irritated with Edward. I felt almost unbearably empty, and Edward hadn't even taken his pants off yet. The reality was though, that I was happy just to be touching him, to feel warm because he was holding me so close to him.

Of course there was still a part of me that wanted to take advantage of his downed position.

Edward's right hand came up unexpectedly to gently cup the underside of my left breast, and then I understood what Edward was trying to do.

He was aligning our hearts.

I was suddenly intensely aware of his beating sure and strong under me now. But it was a little off. I moved to the right just a fraction, and my heart skipped a beat. Edward's did too.

For one long horrifying second, Edward's heart didn't start again. I was frozen, in first shock, and then horror as I realized I didn't know what to do. I'd taken a class in CPR, but the panic had driven it from my mind. I was paralyzed.

It was only Edward's gasp, and then his hand tightening on my chest made me realize that Edward's heart was beating in perfect synchronization with mine, so perfect in fact, that I couldn't even distinguish Edward's from me own, couldn't even hear it. Even Edward had jumped to the same conclusion I had before, because the moment he felt my heart still beating, his breath came out in a soft shudder. "Your heart slowed down."

I wanted to turn a little, just to see his expression, but I was terrified that if I moved, I break our connection. "How do you know?"

"I was pacing your heart beat." Edward admitted, "And mine speed up a little."

My eyes widened, "Is that bad? I mean, wouldn't that raise your blood pressure?" or something like that anyway. It couldn't be too good for him.

Edward chuckled under his breath, I felt the tremors through my spine. "Hardly. Neither of our heart's tempos changed all that drastically." Edward assured me.

I was only half listening to Edward, what really had my attention was the feeling of a steady beat against the left side of my back, so slight I could have been imagining it. It gave me the impression that the skin had been painlessly—and with out violence—peeled off of by back and his chest, bone fused together until it felt like I couldn't tell where my body ended and his began.

Edward's fingers started drawing lazy patterns across my ribs, tracing the lines and lightly playing along the skin of my stomach before smoothing his thumb over my bellybutton and then repeating the circuit.

I sighed, listening to our hearts and feeling Edward's fingers playing across my body. I didn't know why, but the weather outside was really bothering me. Maybe because with the mood was in, the sun should have been beaming down, the air should have been perfectly warm and dry and maybe a few singing sparrows in the trees. Gum drops, sunshine and lolly pops.

Instead the same dull grey, rain drenched sky light was threatening the edges of the naked mattress. Curiously, the disconsolate light didn't touch our skin, and smugly I imagined it was because we were too bright for doom and gloom to touch us.

So far as I had seen, Edward was a perpetually happy person, witty, kind…it was actually easier to say all the good things he wasn't rather then run through the whole list.

Something else I was noticing about Edward as his hand splayed flat across my stomach. His skin was slightly tanned, the remnants of a long gone sunny day. I tilted my head back as far as I could so I could try to see his face. His eyes were closed with a slight smile pulling his lips up, looking so peaceful….I rethought saying anything and disturbing him from this placid state.

But then Edward opened his eyes and saw me staring at him. I blushed and went to look away quickly to collect my thoughts again, scattered just by how green his eyes were. Edward gently stopped me with a finger on my chin, then he grinned and kissed me deeply. Without thinking, I arched my body and Edward groaned softly into my mouth. His hand coming up to fondle my breast for a short moment before he froze for a second, and then one hand slipped under me, over to the left side of his chest, the other slipping just under my left breast.

I realized what I had done immediately. "Sorry."

Edward chuckled, "Don't be, you've actually raised an interesting question."

I let out a breath, glad he wasn't upset I had disturbed our surreal connection. I was extremely disappointed in my self, and more than a little sad.

Edward moved me off of him, moving so that we were sitting cross-legged, looking at each other. "Which interesting question?" I wondered while placed my hand on his bare shoulder, then checked out hearts again.

"You've heard the expression, 'on my wave length' right?"

If I hadn't been thrown off by the question, I would have rolled my eyes at him. "Sure, she's not on my wave length so we didn't understand each other."

Edward flashed his teeth at me, "Yeah, like that. Do you know where the expression came from?"

I pursed my lips, "Not really."

Edward smiled and let my hand drop from his shoulder. "Okay, then you know that energy moves in wave lengths. Light energy or sound energy for example. People have energy like that inside us, and like all other energy, it is in the form of wave lengths. Some people think it's responsible for things like thoughts, and muscle movements….which includes our heart beat." Edward twined our fingers together with a glowing expression. That expression was like the sun breaking through the clouds. Something that I desperately needed in this town. "What do you know about mammalian hearts?"

Now I rolled my eyes, "Obviously not as much as the doctor." Edward grin became even larger. I thought back through my biology class to a movie we had watched on heart cells. I bit my lip trying to think. "I don't remember the name, but we watched a video on how when heart cells are touching they synchronize. Is that kind of what your getting at?"

Edward nodded, fervently. "Almost, but instead of direct contact with the myogenic muscles, it's the physical exchange of internal energies. A little like when someone drags their feet across the carpet and give you static shock." Edward pulled away entirely so that there was no physical contact, and then he reached out and touched my face gently. My heart jumped, and I knew it was keeping time with his.

"So," I murmured, watching his eyes glow as he checked my heart again. "I'm on your wave length?"

Edward laughed and then nodded, "Or we could have met somewhere in the middle of mine and yours.

I revelled in this thought. I was stunned into silence, Edward was trying new experiments, touching my clothed thigh instead of direct skin on skin contact. His lips pulled up at one side, not a smile, more like a disappointed but not quite surprised expression. "Oh well, it was worth a try." he sighed under his breath.

Edward smiled and then pulled me onto his lap, "Sorry, I think I interrupted you. What were you going to say?" his lips fluttered over my exposed shoulder while I hesitated. Edward has just figured out that we had an unearthly connection that transcended the boundaries of physical and mental connections. I had just figured out that Edward's skin was showing off the fact that he had once blissfully frolicked in the sun.

"Bella?" he wondered when I still hadn't answered him.

_Oh well_, I thought, I mean how could anyone top that? Besides I shouldn't try to measure up to Edward in any respects. I was Bella and that wasn't changing anytime soon. I moved so I was sitting in his lap again, and his arms wrapped around me.

I leaned back a little so he could more easily look over my shoulder and see his hands drawing small indecipherable shapes into my abdomen, too softly for it to tickle. "It was just a jealous comment on the fact that you have not only the ability to tan, but have also had the opportunity to."

Edward let his hand splay out on my stomach again, I turned to watch a hint of surprise colour his face, quickly followed by a nostalgic smile. "Would you like to hear a story?"

I nodded quickly, and Edward smiled. I moved off his lap and grabbed my clothes and redressing my upper half before coming to sit cross-legged in front of a confused Edward.

"Why…?" Edward trailed off, looking put out with me.

I shrugged, "If someone walks in and sees you with your shirt off, there's nothing wrong with that. But if someone walked in and saw _me_ with my shirt off, it produces different connotations on what we are actually doing."

Edward gave me a flat look, one eyebrow raised slightly. "Bella, I hate to tell you this, but everyone in this house has seen breasts before. And even if we were both sitting completely unclothed like we are now, they wouldn't jump to conclusions. Alice would probably even come sit on the bed with us to find out what we were talking about."

My eyes popped open, "Wow," I mouthed, "You have a really…open family."

Edward shrugged, "Do you want to hear the story or not?"

"I do." I said quickly, maybe with a little too much intensity. Edward looked at me for a second with opaque eyes and then he smiled widely for no reason that I could identify.

"Alright, so you know that I graduated high school at sixteen, started university at seventeen?" I nodded and so he continued. "Well, I decided during the summer before university started that I wanted to travel before I became tied down by school and loans and a job, so I took all of my doctors theory courses online over the next two years. During that time I traveled everywhere. I spent a month in each place I visited."

And so Edward told me about all the amazing places he had gone and seen, from climbing a mountain in Ireland and seeing all the farm land looking like patches of green fabric sewn together like a giant rolling blanket, to scuba diving in Australia. Alice traveled with him, but got distracted in Paris, and decided to spend the majority of her time there, exploring their culture…and their shopping boutiques.

Edward said he was most impressed by the art in Rome. He spent a whole week at the same museum, just trying to take it all in. He heard creation storied from some Africans that showed him around and told him legends about things like how the cheetahs got their spots and the lions their mains.

He also told me a sad story about his time with some Inuit people up in the north. He found some people who let him live in an igloo for a short time, but one night, a child he had come to know died in his sleep.

"I'm so sorry." I whispered.

Edward nodded, "It really shook me, the little girl died from SUIDS." When I looked at him blankly, he took a breath. "Sudden unexplained infant death syndrome. It doesn't just happen in rural areas, it happens more often than anyone would like even in developed hospitals. I'm not sure if that experience made me want to be a doctor more so that I could try to _do_ something to stop it, or if it made me want to take a step back."

Edward moved onto a less morbid topic. He told me about the amazing stories he heard in China, and then the war histories of Japan. The cartoons in both places were more for adult audiences, he informed me.

Finally he told me about the Amazon. "So myself, my translator and three guides were all in this little boat, so cramped that where I was sitting, I was touching tree people at once. It was just supposed to be a short ride to get to a different village which were filled with wonderful carvings and stories like I had never heard before. Somewhere along the way, I saw something moving under the water." My eyes widened and my hands fisted in the fabric of my skirt in stress. Edward chuckled, "And then something knocked on the underside of the boat. By this point I am absolutely convinced that there is an anaconda under the boat looking for a quick meal. So of course I freak out and am about to jump out of the boat and swim to the shore to get away—" Edward paused at the look I gave him. "I know, it didn't make a lot of sense, but I was scared and at the moment that seemed like the best idea. One of the men in the boat stopped me from standing up and potentially flipping the boat, while someone else pointed out what had hit us. At first glance from under the water it looked like a small log that we might have dislodged from the bottom of the river. It turned out to be a caiman, and my translator just poked it in the snout with a stick and it ducked under the water again and disappeared. I learned later that anacondas are nocturnal. My guide promised me that if I tried to stand up in the boat again he was going to dump me in the lake and leave me for the anacondas. I think there was more, but my translator sugar coated it a bit."

I burst into a fit of laughter and Edward grinned. When I calmed down a bit I sighed, "Wow, I wish I had stories like that." I shook my head sadly, "The best I have are dramatic comedies that end with scars." as I said this, I looked at all the marks along my arms, my legs, and I knew there was one along my left breast where a sea shell had cut me when I had been crushed by a nasty wave in the ocean.

For a moment, I wondered if my scars bothered Edward. It was just a silly thought spurred by years of insecurities. Edward's hand ran up my arm, stopping at each silvery mark to gently touch my clumsy past. He looked like he was going to say something, when we heard a buzzer from the vent in the floor of the corner of his room.

Edward jumped off the bed with me in tow and dragged us down stairs to the laundry room. My head was left spinning by the suddenness of it all. "Thanks for switching the laundry over." Edward murmured and kissed my cheek when we raced into the laundry room.

A little out of breath I gasped a "you're welcome." And then Edward closed the door to the laundry room and grinned at me. The grin seemed so much more sinister in the eerie orange light than it would have in any normal light, or maybe there _was_ a darker emotion in that smile.

"Would you like to do me a favour?" Edward wondered in an innocent voice.

I should have realized right off the bat that the innocents was a dead give away, but it was so hard to think about things like that when Edward looked so beautiful he was nearly glowing.

"Sure." I responded immediately, before biting my lip regretting the instant unconditional answer.

Edward's hand was at the back of my neck, pulling my lips against his in a passionate open mouthed kiss. I melted against him. I'd favour him any time if this was what I was going to get. It wasn't until he started to undress me that my eyes flashed open. I pulled away to inform him that we had been in his room for over an hour--_in his bed_ for over an hour and we had to do this _here_?

The moment I pulled away though, Edward pulled me back, his other hand moving down over my right leg, over my thigh until he reached just below my knee. He stopped there, then hitched my leg over his hip and grinded the bulge in his jeans against the sensitive flesh between my legs.

I gasped my fingers tangling in the hair at the back of his head, and opened my mouth for him. I had no complaints about shedding my clothes after that, feeling heat spreading through me. It was too warm for clothes. Or I thought that until absolutely buck naked in the middle of his laundry room, Edward pulled away, still dressed.

He started doing laundry again. He pulled all the sheets and the blanket out of the dryer, put them on top, and then changed over Alice's clothes just to fill the washing machine again. I stared at him first dumbfounded, and then angrily.

I had no idea what he had been looking to accomplish, but whatever it was I hoped he was happy. Angry tears pricked at my eyes and I started to shiver, goose bumps erupting all over me. I glared at Edward when he turned to smile at me. His smile widened at my look while my scowl deepened.

I started to look around for my clothes, gathering them in a ball against my chest, feeling like some kind of cheap joke. Ha ha, Edward can get Bella out of her clothes faster than you can say _slut_.

Suddenly I was wrapped in warmth so deep it made my muscles convulse once before relaxing. Edward scooped me up into his arms and I saw he had wrapped me up in the freshly dried sheets.

My eyes widened as I realized what he had been doing. blushing, I gave him an apologetic look, leaning my head into his chest. I still had my clothed bundled up with me in my little cocoon of warmth. "So what is this favour you wanted?" I wondered, looking up at him embarrassedly through my lashes. I should have known better.

Edward squeezed me tightly in his arms, and then walked out of the laundry room. I gasped and blushed deeper. With the sheets and Edward's thick, warm blanket around me, no one would know I was actually naked underneath. Despite this, I felt risqué.

"You are going to keep the sheets warm until can join you in them." Edward winked and my breath caught, my stomach clenching in anticipation.

Just as we were about to take the first step, Emmett appeared, looking suspiciously like he had been pushed from the dark hallway in the kitchen.

"Oh, hey, what a coincidence." he grinned. I thought I herd a soft exasperated sigh hidden behind the wall in the same hallway Emmett had come from.

Edward raised an eyebrow and turned towards him. "hmm, yes, funny meeting you here in the same house we both live. What brings you to our side of the stairs?"

I snickered quietly into the blanket. Emmett gave a surprisingly blasé shrug, "Just wondering what you two were doing." He rocked back on his heals, waiting with an expression that screamed '_save me_'.

I hesitated but Edward answered right away, "We were actually planning to get a movie to watch tonight, and maybe get some supper too, but Bella's kind of tired. Maybe—"

"Sure!" Emmett exploded instantly. I wasn't sure, but it had sounded like Alice had sent Emmett in as a spy to record notes on us or something of that nature. Obviously Emmett wasn't the observing kind of guy.

"And Alice?" Edward called suddenly.

The hallway stayed silent for a moment and I wondered if Alice was really going to pretend she wasn't there. And then finally, "Yeah, Edward?" Alice called in a defeated, almost weary tone.

Edward smiled, "Do you want to pick out a moving that you think Bella would like? It could be an experiment of sorts to see how on the dot you are…and something to bring home for her to eat too."

At the word _experiment,_ Alice was bouncing again. "Sure, and I'll bet I'll be done with Bella's analysis by the time I get home." She informed him with a bright beaming smile that showed a little smug. There was also something else there in hers and Edward's eyes, like they were sharing a joke of some sort.

It was Edward's turn to beam now. "Excellent." he hissed, eyes flashing excitement. I stared at him, at how brightly his eyes glowed, and I wondered what he found so fascinating about my mind that would make him glow like this.

Alice smiled at me too before spinning on her heal and bouncing out the door after Emmett who was honking the car horn impatiently for her. All the different colours of the elastics in her hair standing in contrast with her dark black hair was almost mesmerizing. Why did everyone in this family have to be so spectacular? So beautiful, and talented and smart, funny….It could be really intimidating sometimes.

When the door clicked closed, Edward held me tightly against him with one hand, the other one going to the banister as he started taking the stairs two at a time. I had a question to ask him but I was a little nervous of distracting him when he was holding me above the stairs.

The moment we reached the top I was feeling secure enough to ask my question. "Why are you so excited about picking my brain apart?" I wondered, watching his face while the swaying motion of his walk rocked me unintentionally in his arms.

Edward grinned down at me, "Why wouldn't I want to know everything about you? I wonder what you're thinking sometimes….all the time actually. You have this way of showing me just enough of who you really are so…genuinely. I'm always left wanting more."

"You could just ask." I mumbled as he opened the door to his bedroom.

"Alright," Edward said with a secret kind of smile. "Then why did you just say that? Why are your nails always so short and rough? Why were you so adamant about loosing your virginity last night?"

"I don't know. Nervous habit to bite my nails. And…not sure." the last one was a lie. I was scared he would either laugh, or be irritated by my insecurities. I also worried it would make him think I didn't love him, because that wasn't true at all. I had wanted to give that to him because I was sure there was never going to be anyone who ever measured up to Edward. Never would I ever meet someone so perfect, that I loved so much. I was pretty sure it all went down hill from Edward.

Edward caught on immediately, making a disapproving noise in the back of his throat, but then he chuckled a little—it was a sad sound. "You even _lie_ genuinely." He didn't push me to explain though and I sighed in relief. He gently lay me on the bed and started to make the bed around me. "I jump at the chance to know how you think, so that maybe I'll understand why you do some of the things that you do." He paused for a moment, hesitating, "Unless of course you don't want me to know."

I shrugged, "_I _don't see the appeal, but if you do, then go ahead." He had bunched the sheets around me so that he could do this without me having to move hardly. The sheets were wrapped behind me, the blanket wrapped around my front, each of their corners lined up. I pushed my balled up clothed out of the bed. Edward straightened the blanket, undressed and climbed into bed with me.

I moved in closer to him, curling against his chest happily. Happy just to be this close to him. He wrapped his arms around me in return, holding me tightly against him. He hummed contently under his breath, pressing himself tighter against me, "You're so warm." he whispered.

I lifted my fingers, tracing his smile softly, the straight edge of his nose. His eyes fluttered closed when I traced the shape of his eyes, then opened again when I let my fingers down across his jaw to trace my thumb across his lower lip. His lips parted, his warm breath ghosting across my fingers.

I looked up to see him staring at my lips, his breathing getting ragged. I let my hands twine in the fine hair at the back of his head, and then leaned up to kiss him softly, eyes closing as I did. One of his hands came around to the back of my neck, and then his head turned to the side and he deepened the kiss, his tongue moving with mine softly. His other hand moved to my hip and he rolled me onto my back, moving to hover over me with a quiet groan. He broke the kiss and dropped his head into the crook of my neck. I felt his smile against my shoulder before he kissed the skin tenderly. He settled in between my legs. In one smooth stroke he was inside me. My eyes fluttered closed and I whimpered, hugging his shoulders. In another smooth movement…he was out.

My eyes snapped open. He laughed into my shoulder and repeated the action, moving inside me before pulling out completely.

He was _teasing _me I realized.

I narrowed my eyes, but of course he didn't see with his head still in my shoulder. I brushed my fingers through the hair at the back of his head. "Edward, _please_." I whispered. His brother and sister were gone and he was going to tease me? In an empty house where he could make me scream his name?

"Will you beg?" He wondered with a surprisingly innocent tone.

I felt my eyebrows come together, "No." Not after what he pulled in the laundry room. I felt Edward's hot breath come out against my shoulder, and I shivered. He slipped inside me again, pumping into me hard and fast. I gasped arching into him, "Yes," I breathed…and then he disappeared from me again. "No," I moaned.

I grabbed a handful of his hair and pulled until I could see his face. Or more importantly, he could see the death glare I was giving him. He grinned and went to peck my lips. I turned my head away from him, seriously contemplating stopping this altogether. "It's just a little foreplay." he assured me.

"No it's not." I narrowed my eyes at his innocent expression, "I can't believe you of all people need an ego boost."

Edward buried his head in my shoulder again and laughed. "Just foreplay." Edward moved inside me, this time I expected what was coming next. As Edward moved to pull out of me, my hips rose keeping him inside me. His breath blew out against my shoulder in surprise and he froze.

I grinned, letting my hips fall until I could just feel his tip before bucking back up. Edward groaned, and I felt him shift, getting more comfortable, and then he grabbed the crook of my knees and raised it until my feet were flat against the mattress.

My eyes widened, he was…he was letting me take control?

I shivered, moving up him again. Edward groaned, moving his head so he could see my face. I slid down him, and then slowly back up. Edward's eyes fluttered closed and I heard him breath my name.

It took me a moment to figure out why he was so willing to give up an ego trip, so willing to relinquish control.

Whenever I raised my hips up, the muscles in my abdomen tightened around him, squeezing him through my inner walls so I could feel him _everywhere._ Especially in one spot that sang whenever he so much as brushed it.

This also opened so many doors for some sweet revenge. I started to move my hips faster, but only rising half way on him. The delicious clenching of my muscles around him fluttered over me until I was whimpering. Edward's eyes were squeezed tightly shut, his breaths raged.

I rose all the way up on him, taking him to the hilt.

"_God_, Bella. Yes, again." he ground out. I could feel his hips bucking a little. It was killing him not to be able to move. I did it again, teasing him and then taking him fully inside me again. At this position, I could control everything, the angle, the speed, the strength of how he entered me. My legs started shaking as the pleasure built, a tight coil in the middle of my stomach.

I bit my lip and started taking him in all the way, hitting all the right points while his pelvis bone bumped against my sensitive bundle of nerves. I gasped, my eyes fluttering open, getting ready to watch the fireworks go off.

I could hardly breathe, a path of fire washing up through me. I gripped Edward's shoulder's hard, bringing my self up to the very hilt, but instead of moving back down, I started to circle my hips, creating friction.

The fireworks went off.

I screamed, my tight muscles spamming, bringing me higher then I had ever gone before. My orgasm seemed to truly make me weightless for one long moment as my hips bucked upward of their own accord. Edward's head fell against my shoulder, and I heard his cry, muffled in my hair and the pillow.

Edward's body stiffened as the same effect the position had on me, already tight muscles tightening around him, pulling him into me. And then he just relaxed and I felt a wash of heat through me in a quick shot that moved further into me then was possible. I had another small orgasm, and then I collapsed back against the bed, breathing hard.

Edward fell down beside me, instantly gripping me tightly in his arms, crushing me against his chest. "Thank you." He whispered. He ran his hand through my tangled hair, working all the knots out. "It's never felt so good to have someone else in control."

"Really?" I thought about that for a moment while Edward gave up on untangling, instead he prompted me to rollover onto my back with a gentle nudge.

"Mhmm." he kissed the back of my neck, and I felt him move so he was kneeling over me, one leg on either side of my back. His hands started at my shoulders before his hands started to smooth up my arms, gently guiding them until they were up above my head. The cold metal of the head board brushing against the back of my fingers delicately, cool air making the hairs on my arms goose bump, while the rest of my body was warm under the covers.

I sighed happily. Edward's hot lips burned against my bare shoulder in a wet kiss that seemed to also erupt into tingles that pricked icily just under the skin in delicious contrast.

I heard the bedside drawer open beside me, and in hind thought, I should have thought more about that. His wrists smoothed up my arm this time, straightening my arms out a little more from where I had shied away a little from the chilled head board. Once, I thought I felt a smooth chill on my exposed skin, just at my own wrists. I didn't have the time to think about this, maybe even to make the leap between the drawer and the chill of metal against my skin when I heard two gentle clicks followed by the metallic _clink_ of the handcuffs resting against the head board.

My eyes snapped open and then slowly widened as everything… _clicked_ together. The irony was bitingly, _painfully_, obvious.

"Damn you!" I screamed pulling harshly at the restraints and kicking my legs, trying desperately to get loose. I didn't know what I'd do when I got my hands on him, but one of us wasn't going to be walking away. The cuff links screeched and complained against the iron head board as I pulled at them angrily.

Edward jumped back away from me quickly, least I get lucky and land a blow. "Damnyou, damnyou, damnyou, _Damn you_!" I dropped my head into the pillow and gave one long scream into it.

The silence afterward rewarded me with hearing a drop of water fall from the bathroom sink. Other than my ragged, frustrated breaths, that was the only sound.

"That was…unexpected." he finally said to himself.

I turned my head to glare at him, crouching by the edge of the bed. "I. Hate. Hand cuffs. What part of that do you not understand?"

"The part where you always end with a screaming orgasm."

I dropped my head back into the pillow. One frustrated sob escaped my clenched teeth. "What is your obsession with these things?" I spoke into the pillow, my eyes watering and my words coming out muffled. I pulled limply at my arms once more.

The bed sunk beside me, but I glared up towards the wall behind the bed rather than next to me. "Sorry. I've always thought they were kind of sexy. I never met a woman who didn't think so."

I took a long slow breath, imaging what he was remembering. He couldn't have used _these _handcuffs with anyone else. He Hadn't had them long enough, and I know there would have been word if the new officer was dating someone. There were no secrets in Forks. All I could see was him with a faceless women—beautiful in every way—with little pink fluffy handcuffs around her wrists.

I was sure that those were designed for comfort though, not for detaining hardened criminals. Those ones didn't cut into flesh. I could feel where my tantrum had cost me a few scrapes now that the sting wasn't dulled in my unruly flash of anger.

"Edward," I whispered, keeping my temper in check. "Charlie is a _cop_. I don't really link anything police-like to sexy." Police enforced authority, and regular dad authority were kind of twined with Charlie.

Not sexy.

Edward chuckled, and my eyes slid towards him. He was grinning, one hand moving over my bare shoulders and down my back. My glare was diluted a little by the lulling feeling his soft touch created, soothing me into tranquility. "I was kind of hoping that you would couple _me_ with handcuffs. Maybe I should have thought about that a little more." He murmured, his hands now working a rhythm on my back.

"Thank you," I murmured while he rolled my shoulders in his hands, taking the position he had before where he was kneeling over me. "So the hand cuffs come off, right?"

Edward didn't miss a stroke. "Actually, I was thinking I would…._convince_ you." Edward whispered into my ear one of his hands venturing dangerously low.

The cuffs _click_ed against the head board.

"Don't," I growled.

Edward's body heat disappeared from above me, and I turned my head to the side to see him lay down beside me again with a sour expression. "Bella, I'm trying to thank you for

What you did for me. I can't even tell you how wonderful it felt." His face softened, and his hand cupped my cheek. "Bella, I love you, and I want to make you feel _good_." his hand fluttered down my body, but stopped at my hip, not going any father. "Please?" he murmured, his eyes half lidded and lust laden. "Let me touch you."

My heart fluttered and then skipped a beat. My shaking hands rattled the cuffs against he head board. Edward moved closer against me so that I could feel his erection pressed into my thigh. "I can show you things, things we haven't even _touched_ on…yet." Edward moved away from me. "But you have to trust me."

I shook my head, trying to clear it.

"Is that a no, you don't trust me, or no I'm not getting any?"

I made a face at him, "I thought we already went over the whole trust issue before?"

Edward sighed, "How about we make a deal then." the back of his hand soothed across my cheek, knuckles setting fire across my skin. "Let me at least try to convince you into letting me thank you, and I'll give you something you'd like." I opened my mouth, "Of your choosing." Edward finished with a resigned sigh.

I closed my mouth with a approving nod. All I needed now was to figure out what I wanted. It didn't take long, and my face was burning. "Can I…er," I bit my lip and let my hair fall into my face.

"Can you…what? What would you like?" Edward moved the hair out of my face, waiting for me to continue. He soothed his hand across my cheek.

I looked up at him embarrassedly through my lashes, face still hot. "Experiment. Just a little."

Edward looked like he was waiting for me to finish my sentence. "With yourself? With me? With the chemistry lab in the basement….?"

I went to burry my head against his chest so I wouldn't have to see his face, on how he was always so amused when I was embarrassed. Especially if my embarrassment was directly related to sex. The cuffs restrained the movement with a cheerful sound. "See? This is why I hate hand cuffs so much."

"Bella."

"You." I finally sighed. "And maybe cuff you, see how it feels." I muttered to myself as an after thought.

Edward ignored the second part, "Deal, just two rules when you're experimenting. No bending, and no biting or otherwise intentionally cause harm."

I blushed, no biting was something I'd kind of guessed. "Alright, but you can't cheat while you're trying to _convince_ me." My fingers made the quoting hooks a foot and a half above my head.

Edward was on top of my again, rubbing me down. "And cheating consists of…?"

"You're not allowed to touch my girlie parts."

"Oh my god, _Bella_. Repeat after me. Penis, vagina, breasts, nipples."

I blushed even deeper this time, chagrined. "You've had more experience than I have. Are you honestly going to tell me that you weren't a little embarrassed when you started out."

"Yes, but I never called them _girlie parts_." He chuckled above me.

"So then what did you call them?"

There was a long moment of silence, "Never mind." he muttered.

I grinned, settling in for some clean fun. Edward started massaging my muscles from my arms, over my shoulders, down my spine—skipping my butt—my legs and down to my feet. Touching, caressing every part of me that wouldn't get him in trouble.

It was only when he was tracing my ribs, the bones prominent because of how my arms were stretched above me, that he broke our deal and grasped my breasts, massaging them in his palms.

I gasped, arching into him. "You—you're not."

"Yes I am," Edward breathed in my ear, one of his hands moving to pinch my nipple, making me cry out. "You specifically said _girlie parts_, which to me means things that you have that I don't. I have fatty tissue and muscle on my chest too. And since you nearly took a bite of one, you know I have nipples." Edward rolled the sensitive bud between his thumb and forefinger.

I was gasping in shallow breaths, trying to pull in enough air. I didn't know if I was, but if I passed out and stopped Edward's fun, it was because he found a loop hole in my rule.

"And if that is the case," Edward's hands moved from my breasts and I next time his skin made contact with mine, it was to slap my ass. I squealed and Edward laughed darkly. "I've got one of these too, though not nearly as nice as yours." he kneed the flesh in his hand, while his other took hold of my hip to try and stop my squirming.

"Edward!" I groaned, the sensations his massages were inducing was somewhere between being tickled and igniting a burning need for him inside me. "You're not being fair." I cried, bucking into the bed. Edward put a pillow under my abdomen, then he blew a cold breath of air into the heat of my need that the pillow had apparently made more accessible, technically not even breaking my rules. I sobbed with need, still stubbornly fighting against the inevitable collapse of my quickly dwindling willpower.

"I'm being more than fair," Edward argued in an easy voice, "If you were more comfortable with your body and had just said the rules, _then_ you could call me on foul play." His teeth brushed against the small of my back before he nipped at my ass.

I squealed, writhing on the bed, trying to inconspicuously get some friction.

Inconspicuous was…not my middle name. Edward caught on quick. He grabbed my hips, stilling my movements with a soft chuckle. He licked his way up my spine before planting a wet kiss on my shoulder. "Let me touch you." he breathed by my ear. I stopped breathing, a rush of heat soaking through me. Another rush of heat followed, though this time to my face as I felt some of my want drip onto the pillow. "Let me give you what you want." he pressed his body against mine, rocking us gently.

The breath I had been holding _whoosh_ed out of me, and then came back in a wild gasp as Edward—still rocking our bodies—grabbed my breast and kneaded it in the palm of his hand. His other hand started to trail down the front of my body, stopping just over my abdomen. Trailing my hair line with his littlest finger.

"Edward!" I cried. I'd meant to make it sound angry, but it came out in a pleading cry of need. I wasn't sure if I really was angry with him anymore. I wanted him so much that it hurt, physically _hurt_ to be so empty.

I felt a little bit of irritation as I realized I had lost the game Edward had started, but mostly, I felt an unfulfilled sense of relief. So what if the game had gone to Edward's favour? Who was really getting the prize here?

A smug little internal grin erupted inside my head.

"Edward," I whimpered now, "Please." I turned a pleading glance at him, my legs trembling.

"Really?" Edward asked with a taunting smile. He stopped rocking us. I had been getting the tiniest bit of friction from his movement. I squeezed my eyes tightly closed as my need for him—impossibly—intensified. "I was expecting more of a fight. I think your going submissive on me."

I clenched my teeth trying to keep from being consumed by the heat that was slowly turning into a blaze. "If you really want I'll—" I was cut off by a sound somewhere between a scream and a gasp ripped up my throat, eyes opening wide. Edward had trust into me in a hard, fast movement.

His lips were at my ear while I panted under him. "No." he growled. He pulled almost all the way out and trust in again hard. I cried out, trying to muffle the sound in the pillow.

I felt Edward move off of me, sliding out while he organized me into a new position. His hands grabbed onto my hips firmly, holding me perpendicular to him , my hands still locked up and useless.

He slid into me carefully, pumping once, twice. His hands tightened on my hips and then he was pounding into me, his skin slapping against the sensitive bundle of nerves. I screamed, and he started going harder, his fingers digging into my skin almost painfully. His angle kept hitting a specific spot inside me, his re-entry always made sparks dance in my vision.

There was no build up. No sign or warning before I was bearing witness to the most dazzling light show.

My body was singing.

Edward slowed, letting me ride out my orgasm. He laughed breathlessly, "A little restraint, Bella? I hardly got a chance to start."

I smiled contently while he lowered my hips back to the bed. "It was a really good start." I sighed. "Cuffs off."

Edward slid inside me again, the pillow raising me a little in a comfortable position for both of us. For him, better access. For myself, my breasts weren't crushed against the mattress. "Let's last a little longer this time, hmm?" he murmured and I realized he wasn't done _thanking_ me.

I wrinkled my nose, but otherwise I was still floating in my happy little post orgasm world.

Edward kissed my shoulder, rocking slowly inside me. "I love your body." He whispered, "There is no other place I'd rather be." He was quiet other than his hot breath caressing over my neck and saturating my hair. The sound of his skin moving softly over mine. How the pleasure of him filling me again and again, deeper than just the physical. His one arm supported his frame so he didn't crush me, while his other hand fluttered over my breasts, my hips, my waist.

Edward stopped moving. He drew a breath and hesitated for a moment, unsure. "Do you mind if I try something?"

"Did this something arise from your research?"

I could almost hear his eyes roll. "Yes, Bella, it did."

I smiled a little to myself. "Sure." I was starting to come down from cloud nine a little, and I was starting to need a little…more. Not that this pace wasn't impossibly sweet, and made it feel like Edward was a permanent attachment to my body, natural and perfect, but he was also still managing to rub all the right places. Luck or skill, I wasn't sure.

Edward moved his legs outside of mine, spreading them farther than mine were.

My eyes fluttered open, my eyebrows coming together in confusion. I happened to catch the glowing red digits on Edward's digital alarm clock beside the bed. I gasped and went to sit up. The cuffs rang defiance against the head board.

"What? What's wrong?" Edward asked, startled.

"The time. Emmett and Alice are going to be back soon!" I hissed, pulling at the hand cuffs, irate.

Edward chuckled and he soothed a hand down my spine gently. "They are going to be out for a while."

I relaxed again, placated but confused. "Why? What else are they doing?"

Edward started to rub small circles into my back and I melted into the bed. I inhaled deeply, before letting out a calmed breath. The sheets didn't smell freshly cleaned anymore. They smelled like sex and Edward. He'd have to wash them again after I left. "They aren't absolutely heartless. They are giving us a moment for our selves." Edward laughed, "You didn't notice the bogus acting? Alice is never so easily persuaded of something." Edward snickered.

"Oh." I mumbled, embarrassed.

"Relax," Edward commanded gently. I did and Edward settled comfortably over me again. "Now cross your ankles."

I hesitated a moment, before slowly moving my legs together to cross my ankles. I was pretty sure that my legs were supposed to be spread when he was inside me, and I was a little worried that I'd do something wrong and hurt him, or make it too uncomfortable for us to continue.

Edward groaned, one of his hands lacing under my body to rub my sensitive bundle of nerves. "You're so _tight._" He groaned. His legs moved back into a comfortable position outside of mine.

I gasped, I could feel the way my body was stretched and having my legs closed only constricted me around him tighter. It was only when he started rocking that I felt the benefits. I tried no to buck into his hand.

I had no idea on the average size of the male anatomy having had no experience with it before, but Edward felt _large_ to me normally. He filled me completely, and whether this was because he was larger than normal, or because my opinion was biased from him being the only person inside me and him having broken my virginity, I didn't know. But this almost _hurt_. I felt myself stretching around him as he slowly moved deeper, feeling him squeeze though me, pressed tightly against all my sides so that no inch of sensitive skin was left untouched.

An explosion of heat spread through my abdomen. I cried out, writhing under him. The pleasure made my head spin, but he was moving too slow. Edward lowered his body farther under mine, letting me feel some of his weight in an attempt to stop my wiggling. He moved my hair to the side, exposing the back of my neck, and then started to suck at the skin there.

"F-faster." I managed, trying to breath.

He started to pump faster. "Oh, _fuck_ yes." He groaned, his fingers increasing their pace on my clit. "Bella," He breathed.

I gasped with every thrust, the hand cuffs sang against the iron with every movement. "Edward, Edward." I cried. His hand moved from the bundle of nerves to my breast, kneading me.

"You're perfect." He whispered against my skin. "So perfect."

I screamed, a burning coil in the center of my body winding me up tightly until I could feel my tendons rolling my hands into tight fists and curling my toes. Edward sucked on my throat, his hand moving back to my clit to rub vigorously.

I screamed again, and the lights in my head exploded blindingly bright, my body consumed with heat. I jerked, my body bowing under Edward's from the sheer force of the feeling as my world exploded. The angle at which I was bent let Edward pound deeper into me than before and I screamed as I was wracked again by another mind blowing array or colours. I could swear that the very essence of Edward, the heat of the entire sun, was suddenly inside me, burning through my core.

Edward thrust deep into me one last time, and a different heat shot through me. I had one more orgasm, a smaller one that went off like sparks, dotting my vision momentarily before I went limp, shaking.

Edward collapsed on top of me, his chest heaving. Despite the fact he was probably twice my weight, he was welcome to stay where he was. He was only there for a moment though before he rolled off me, immediately wrapping his arms around my waist.

I wiggled my body a little to face him, and he moved closer, arms tightening. I sighed, wishing my hands were free so I could wrap my arms around him too. Edward chuckled, touching a spot on my throat. "Look at that, my thank you came with a souvenir."

I gasped, pulling away to look at him with wide eyes. "_Another_ one?" I couldn't believe how many hickeys he was sneaking. Maybe if he played fair and didn't distract me so much when he was doing it, then I could stop him.

Edward grinned hugely. "I think they're sexy."

I rolled my eyes, "Just like he thinks the hand cuffs are sexy." I muttered to myself. "Oh, and speaking of hand cuffs and lack thereof, we have a deal." I grinned smugly at him.

Edward smiled patiently back, "That was never part of the deal. I said you could experiment, I never said how or when. The hand cuffs stay on until I'm ready to let you fulfill your side of the deal"

My smug expression slowly faded. "You're kidding."

Edward started to kiss down my body again, taking one breast into his mouth before he answered. "You should honestly be more specific when it comes to things like this." He moved to my other breast, sucking, licking, biting.

I struggled to flip back onto my stomach, to disengage and revoke his access. Edward grabbed my body, keeping me in place as he worked his way down to my womanhood to clean up. His tongue dipped into me once or twice while he lapped up the evidence of our love making.

My eyes fluttered closed. And then opened again when Edward started to kiss back up my body. I was a wee bit disappointed, I'd been sure Edward was about to start again. "Edward, Please? I don't _like_ the hand cuffs, I want to move my arms again." I gave him my best pleading look, pouting and everything.

Edward's eyes flickered down to my bottom lip, up to my eyes, and then—very obviously—down my body. His tongue flicked out over his lips. "But I like having you restrained." His eyes flickered back up to my own. "You can't distract me so much."

I threw my head back in exasperation. "You liked my last distraction!" The movement made me fall onto my back and my arms twisted together painfully. I gasped in pain before Edward quickly righted me.

"Fine, how about this, if you can get out of the hand cuffs in ten minutes, I won't use them for the rest….of the day."

"No," I snapped, "You'll just pull them back out at twelve tonight on a technicality."

Edward made a face at me. I grinned back brightly for having ruined his plan. "Fine, no handcuffs for the rest of the weekend. But if you can't do it in ten minutes…" he grinned darkly, "I get to pull them out whenever with no complaints."

I nodded, "Fine. I can't believe I'm making _another_ deal with you when I already _had_ one." I sighed while Edward hummed something under his breath in a dismissive way. I stuck my tongue out already knowing that he was still using the 'your own fault for not being secure enough' bit against me. "Alright," I sighed, "Where are the keys?"

This was probably going to be a close one, I'd have to pick the keys up with my toes, somehow stretch my leg up to where my hands were. After I got the keys in my hands though it would be a piece of cake. Maybe I could make the time….

Edward had picked the keys up off the table top, grinned at me, and then moved into the center of the room and sat cross legged on the floor, patiently playing with the keys. "They're right here."

My eyes widened, "You expect me to get over there and unlock myself in ten minutes? _I'm attached to the bed_, Edward." I fumed, "How am I going to do that?"

Edward's grin widened, "You're not, that's the point. The clock starts….now."

* * *

**^_^ Hey all of you very loyal, very awesome, very patient readers. I'm so so so sorry this all took so long. A lot of stuff has been going on, and I just finished my mad panic stricken studying over my biology exam (Which is why you see the word **_**myogenic**_** in here.)**

**I have some not so great news. I leave every summer and go to a wonderful place that has sun and warmth and beaches, in a place I can call my own. Down side to this is, it's my cottage which is really just a shed with no TV, no computer and no internet. _ please under stand that I will try my very best to get this next chapter out ASAP, but there is a very good chance that you won't see it until the end of the summer. Sorry. **

**But wait, Good news! I bought myself a lap top!! (cheers) Which means that even though I might not be able to find a connection up there, I can still write the next chapter, so the moment I do get a connection, the chapter will be up and waiting for you all.**

**And just an extra by of the way…if there is a grammar crazy potential beta interested in going over past chapters and helping me with future, I'd be thrilled to have you. ^_^ I **_**know**_** I have so many grammar mistakes in here, but I can't seem to catch them. So drop me a message if you're interested. ^_^**

**Alright….WOOT, THANKS FOR BEING THE ABSOLUTE **_**BEST**_** READERS IN THE WORLD. ^_^ See you September, (or before then hopefully) Have a happy summer. (And just a P.S. for any one who actually read the author's note, if you leave me a nice review that doesn't include killing me for making you all wait so long for chapters, I'll give you a preview of your choice for the next chapter, but you have to ask so i know ;) **


	8. Chapter 8

— — — — — _**(Super reminder) BELLA IS NOT PREGNANT!**_

_**Chapter 8**_

_**Teeny Tiny Twilight**_

_Edward had picked the keys up off the table top, grinned at me, and then moved into the center of the room and sat cross legged on the floor, patiently playing with the keys. "They're right here."_

_My eyes widened, "You expect me to get over there and unlock myself in ten minutes? I'm attached to the bed, Edward." I fumed, "How am I going to do that?"_

_Edward's grin widened, "You're not, that's the point. The clock starts….now."_

* * *

I cried out and panicked, pulling fiercely against the cuffs, feeling the metal cut into my skin as viciously as I fought. dragging myself up onto my knees, I tried to find a way to pull the cuffs up off of the iron headboard. Of course I couldn't, the head board didn't end in spikes, instead it had a long graceful metal piece flowing over and along the top of each vertical metal rod. All I ended up doing was battering Edward's headboard.

It was with a slow sinking feeling that I looked to see the time, all of the obvious means of escape exhausted.

Less than nine minutes left.

I took a deep breath in through my nose, and then let it out through my mouth slowly. I leaned my head against the chilled head board. "Come on, come _on_." I whispered to myself, trying to think clearly through the panic.

"Bella—"

"Shhh," I hissed back at him, vexed. "I'm thinking."

Edward chuckled, ignoring my sour tone. "Just say you give up and I'll show you what I have planned _now_ instead of eight minutes from now. You'll get out of the hand cuffs faster." His voice was smooth as velvet, lulling me into his words. _Eight minutes from now._

My head flashed up to see that he was right. Eight minutes. _Crap_.

Maybe I could _drag_ the bed over to him, I thought sarcastically as I felt the time slipping from my grasp. Actually, that might not be such a bad idea. I went to put my hands against the wall behind the bed to get the first push in when I underestimated the weight of the thick metal handcuffs.

I gasped, my hands slipping from the wall, sending me head first into the hard iron bars. Instinctively, I turned so that it was my shoulder that took the brunt of the fall and grabbed onto one of the bars along the head board. I managed to kind of save myself when I only bumped my shoulder, my weight mostly held by my arms.

It gave me an idea. I reached through the bars again to see that I might just have a fighting chance. Edward hadn't actually cuffed my _wrists_ to the head board, just wrapped the chain between the cuffs half way around two posts.

I grinned darkly. It would be a squeeze, but if I could just get my shoulders through, then maybe I could wiggle the rest of the way….

Edward caught onto what I was trying to do. "You're going to get stuck." He warned me.

I smiled to myself when I was able to squeeze my shoulders through. "Not if I suck my stomach in." I managed, fighting off the extremely uncomfortable chill of the icy iron on my bare flesh.

Edward sighed from behind me.

I groaned unhappily when my breasts wouldn't squeeze through so easy with me. I pushed my back as hard as I could against the iron bar behind me—my spine protesting against it— and then pushed forward and up. I moved through a little. I continued to do that, worming my way through the bars slowly but surely. Eventually I squeezed past my breast and had slid my waist through, now twisting my body into a kind of 'L' shape between the wall and the bed as I struggled to get my legs through.

Alright, I was stuck.

"Four minutes." Edward informed me dryly. "Not that I'm not impressed with your determination, but it's not happening Bella."

I clenched my teeth angrily. I could _do_ this. I pulled out a bit more so that my waist was back between the bars, then I sucked in and…turned.

I couldn't see Edward anymore—I had turned so that my stomach was pressed against the wall and my back was pressed up against the bars—but I could hear him.

"Holy shit."

I clenched my teeth again, this time in a fierce smile. His eyes were probably popping out of his head right now. _I_ hadn't even known I could contort my body like this. Ballet was to blame I'm sure. I arched my back and squeezed through the other set of bars. And then my hands were free to push my body through the bars until I could plant my feet against the wall and shove myself the rest of the way out.

The angle wasn't exactly thought out, and that last push not only freed me, but also dumped me onto the floor in a mighty _thump_ of ineptitude.

Edward burst into laughter as I flopped onto the floor, loosing whatever sense of grace I might have convinced him I'd had through my acrobatics on the head board.

I fell so that I was halfway under the bed when I turned over, and my fingers brushed against something cool and glossy. _Ew_, was my first reaction as I realized it was a magazine hidden under his bed. It took me a moment to see that there was a car on the cover, not a topless woman. _Car and Driver_ I read at the top, and then rolled my eyes at him.

I rolled out from under the bed, and then stood up and walked over to where he was sitting cross legged on the floor still. His eyes were huge as he watched my approach.

I stood in front of him, heavy cuffs weighing my wrists down where they hung, no longer supported by the bed.

Edward stared at me for a long moment—with awe since I didn't think it had hit yet that I'd foiled his plan—and then his eyes flickered to the alarm clock by his bedside. The numbers turned…

And I met my deadline.

"Ha!" I exploded at him. "Keys. Now."

Edward frowned, and then opened his arms for me. I shook my head, "I have done _everything_ you've asked. I have _literally_ bent over backwards. I want the cuffs off _now_."

"You could say please." He muttered under his breath, handing me the key with a putout expression.

I snatched it from him quickly before he could call me on another technicality. "I'm not much of a please girl. I like my 'thank you's better." Edward's lips suddenly pulled up into a breath taking smile and I realized what he would have heard in that. I blushed and scurried back onto the bed to get the cuffs off and out of his reach.

There was a very satisfying click, and then the cuffs fell off onto the bed sheets with a wonderfully freeing sound. I—very carefully—put the key back onto the table by the bed, and then looked at the cuffs in my hands. "You know if you're going to be calling escape clauses left and right then I have one of my own. You agreed to let me show you how it felt to be hand cuffed." I grinned victoriously, head held high with the slightest bit of haughty egotism.

Ha, I win.

Edward threw his head back and laughed at me with so much vigour, he nearly toppled backwards. "Alright," Edward agreed, still chuckling. "If you can drag me from this place on the floor, to the bed, force both of my hands up against the head board, and then somehow keep them both there with one hand while you get the cuffs out, then my all means, go ahead."

I slammed the cuffs down onto the bed side table irritably. The key jumped. "That's not fair." I ground my teeth and sat down on the bed cross-legged and folded my arms over my chest hotly, accusing him of his dual standards with just my eyes.

Edward chuckled, "It's perfectly fair. It's not like you let me handcuff _you_. I just had the element of surprise on my side."

I thought about that for a moment, and then I gave him a sultry smile and curled my finger for him to come to me. "Would you like to join me?" I wondered innocently. I tried to copy his way of letting his lids fall over his eyes in a lazy stare.

"Hmmm," Edward murmured, "Tempting. But I'll have to turn you down after seeing how inventive you can be when you want something. You're more than welcome to join me though."

I huffed, bringing my knees up against my chest and wrapping my arms under them. I refused to move from this spot. I glared petulantly at him, realizing I was acting childish, but too frustrated to care.

Edward smiled easily at me and stayed where he was. My eyes tightened further. Stupid man.

"You know," Edward murmured, leaning back on one hand and gently nursing his erection with the other with long slow strokes with his thumb and first two fingers. "You are currently entitled to reap your reward." When I didn't move immediately, he shrugged. "Or later if you wish." he sat up straight again, dropping his hand.

My eyes narrowed further. Brilliant man who doesn't play fair. He was using my raging curiosity against me. And the worst part was he wasn't even taking the option _away_. He was just making it more convenient for me while I was pissed at him. The anger ebbed fractionally.

It was a mystery to me how someone who was so perfect to me, could also be the most frustrating.

"You," I jerked my chin at him. "List of faults."

Edward blinked in surprise. "Mine?"

I rolled my eyes, "No, the guy squatting behind the curtain."

Edward's head turned fractionally towards the window, like he was actually going to check before he cocked his head to the side instead. "Are you angry that I won't let you emasculinate me, or that I asked an obvious question?" Edward raised an eyebrow at me, a small smile playing at the corners of his mouth.

"Elusive." I hissed under my breath. And then I grinned to myself. He wasn't completely perfect then. He was still relatively human.

Edward chuckled lowly, "I don't mean to be, it's just the first is understandable from your point of view I guess, but the second one could be useful for Alice's analysis."

My smile faded. Not elusive, he was understanding and curious. If _I_ was as truly understanding as I liked to think, then I would realize that for Edward, it would not only be frustrating not being able to use his hands, but a huge hit to his ego since he was playing teacher for me.

I looked at him, wondering if he was insecure. Edward was calmly sitting—naked—in the middle of his room while he watched me turn him down, glare at him, and inspect him for faults. Even under my scrutiny, he didn't fold. He waited for me to make an outright decision so he could make his.

The more I examined his position—and the calm serenity that he exuded—the more I was aware that I was having a moment of déjà vu. Not that I'd been here before, but that I'd seen this same image before me. Rationally I knew I couldn't have.

It finally came to me when I remembered the time when Renee went through her religious binge, and we were researching Hindu gods that complemented her personality. There had been one naked god, though none of the genitalia had been visible since he had been kneeling, and the picture was a view of his profile, facing to the left. Edward looked nothing like the blue skinned god with a long black braid falling down his back. Not even in the same position or angle. It was the perfect confidence that he held himself without transcending into conceitedness that made him godlike. It was the way he was so perfectly comfortable with his body.

No shame. No insecurities or bashfulness. It was a _healthy_ confidence that I wasn't used to seeing. He was perfect.

Darn it.

Edward hummed under his breath, "Faults…alright. I have a problem with my temper sometimes. I've been told I have a tendency to be melodramatic. And after meeting you, I'm beginning to realize I probably have not been the best boyfriend in the past."

I let go of my legs, and let them slid down the sheets that were currently in a state of disarray. "What do you mean? About that last part." I clarified quickly. I couldn't understand where he would have gotten that from. He never used women for sex; he was only interested in meaningful things, and then just add on his personality….

Edward didn't answer immediately, and it wasn't until I saw him watching my ad advance that I realized I had slid off the bed to go to him. I froze in place—shocked—before moving again. This was unfair—this was _mind control. _I let my guard down around him for one second and I was doing his bidding. It was the way his mouth had twisted at the corners, the way his eyes pulled in guilt that had me coming to comfort him. To touch the skin that glowed dimly in the fading grey light.

Edward watched my advance silently until I stopped just a few feet from him. He opened his arms for me and I hesitated before sitting down in his lap, facing him with my legs on either side of his. His erection was straining against my stomach between us.

He ran a hand through his hair, a gentle smile on his face as he cupped my cheek. "All of my relationships before you have been very…healthy, I suppose the word is. I loved them, but if I had to be away for a few days, I'd be fine with it. I didn't feel like I _needed_ them. It never felt like the end of the world when I got up every morning to go to classes, or work or just doing things with my family.

"It feels like the end of the world every time I leave your room to go to work. The only thing that lets me do it is the knowledge that I'll be back to see you after, to pick up my world at the end of the day again. I need _you_, Bella. I'm beginning to wonder if I was emotionally detached with all the others as opposed to how I feel now."

Edward's eyes suddenly changed from churning molten emerald stone, to something more fearful. "If I'm scaring you with all this, tell me and I'll stop talking." And then he chuckled a little, "I found another fault. I'm a little obsessively fanatical when it comes to you sometimes."

I stared at him with wide eyes. "Just a little." I shook my head, trying to clear the fuzz from it. "I don't really have any experience with this, so I don't know if this is normal, or if I'm…a little extream too." I smiled before ducking my head into his neck shyly.

Edward chuckled, wrapping his arms around me and holding me tightly against him. "As long as I don't make you run from me—screaming as you go—then I'm more than happy."

I sighed happily, kissing his neck softly just below his ear. I felt him twitch against my stomach and Edward's shoulders shivered a little. I smiled to myself darkly, sucking his earlobe into my mouth.

Edward groaned softly, "Would you like to experiment now?" he managed in a strained tone.

I hummed around the skin, deciding. The vibrations carried through the skin in his ear and his hands tightened, a low hiss sounding from him. I liked how we were now, how he was holding me, how close our bodies were.

I let go of his ear, ducking my head against the juncture between his neck and his shoulder. "Actually," I whispered, "I kind of…really want you. Right now."

Edward's breathing sped up. "Kind of?" I felt an electric shiver of sorts, a little less powerful than just the natural shock that simply touching him now sent through me, and my heart beat sped up to match his now racing heart.

I shivered. Edward's hand came up to cup my left breast, his other hand gripped the hair lightly at the back of my head, to bring my mouth to his so he could kiss me while he felt my heart beat in the palm of his hand.

I sat up, and then guided Edward inside me with far less grace than he always had. As I lowered myself onto him, the hand that had been in my hair smoothed down to the small of my back.

"Lean back." Edward breathed against my mouth. I did as he asked, giving him better access to my breasts. I bit my lip while Edward's eyes raked down my front. "Can you roll you body?"

I rolled my body in a waving motion. The motion forced my muscles to clench around him, and to rub across all the right areas. I gasped as a spark raced through me to set the core of my want ablaze. The intensity of the feeling edged on pain.

I wrapped my arms around Edward tightly, and he had to let go of my heartbeat when I crushed our bodies together. Edward's arms wrapped around me in return. "Are you okay?" He asked, rubbing my back.

I laughed a little breathlessly. "A little too much too soon." I mumbled.

Edward laughed in earnest, "You really do have sensitive skin." He chuckled darkly and I felt his hand snake between us. My breathing sped up in foreboding. "I wonder what will happen if I do this." he mused, just as dark as his laugh.

He pressed his thumb against the sensitive bundle of nerves just above where we were connected. I cried out and arched against him, my nails cutting into his back as a fierce gripping pleasure had me buck his hand away. Edward snickered.

I uncurled my fingers from where they were clawed into his skin, placing them strategically on his shoulders instead. I moved myself up and then down experimentally. I whimpered, my hands moving behind his head, holding him close to me while I moved on him.

Edward groaned, and I leaned back a little for him. He watched himself disappearing inside me, watched how my breasts moved, watched my lips before kissing them, and repeating the whole process.

His hands came up to cup my breasts, and I stopped moving up and down, choosing instead to go back to what Edward had suggested and roll my body. Now that I was warm—burning around him—there was no discomfort from over stimulation.

Edward was suddenly intent on how my body was moving. He groaned softly before bringing my neck to his lips, kissing the flesh tenderly before sucking harder than necessary.

He almost got away with it too.

I pulled myself away from his lips, choosing instead to hide my face against his throat. I whimpered when a coil started in my abdomen. Edward grabbed my hips, changing my pace, moving me up and down on him faster. "Not yet Bella." he pleaded and I cried out his name, my body shaking in his arms. "Just wait for me, I'm right there."

Every breath was coming out as a small cry. My vision shimmered like a mirage though all the heat was concentrated inside me. Edward slammed me down hard on him and my world exploded into light. I arched against him. A shot of warmth spread through me, and then Edward slowly wrapped his arms around my now limp frame, moving me so my head was resting on his shoulder. I sighed happily, a breathless sound, while Edward's fingers ran through my hair and soothed down my back.

It felt like I was floating somewhere above my body, or that the skin was at a few centimetres away from my bones. Everything tingled.

I nuzzled my head against his neck. "Can I experiment now?" I mumbled against his shoulder.

Edward chuckled, "I need a moment of recovery first." he kissed my head.

"But that's part of the experiment." I objected, pulling back to look at his face. I wanted to make sure that he was just telling me no because he wasn't….standing tall…and not that he was extra sensitive like I became.

Edward's smile hinted at the corner of his mouth. "Alright," he chuckled, leaning back a little. "Have fun."

"What are you doing?"

He hesitated. "Giving you access?"

"No. I want to experiment on the bed." I crossed my arms, chin raised. My eyes flickered to the bed that Edward had _just_ made. The dark blanket was bunched at the foot of the bed; the sheet was twisted and messed.

Edward shrugged easily. My eyes widened, "Really? Just like that?"

Edward's smile widened.

"You're pulling my leg, aren't you?" I stared at him flatly. No hand cuffs for Edward.

Edward thought about that, and then grinned hugely, "Not yet." He stood up, moving me off his lap, and took the handcuffs off the desk. He went to his closet and put them on the very top shelf, far out of my reach. He winked and then fell back onto the bed, striking a sideways pose.

Oh well, even if I didn't get to handcuff him, at least the bed would be softer than the floor. My legs complained lightly when I straightened them, imprints of Edward's carpet in the skin of my knees. I crawled onto the bed, facing him.

Edward shook his head with a dark smile, and spun his finger in a gesture for me to turn around. I was about to disagree. Seeing his face and watching his reactions was probably going to be the only way I would know when my experimenting turned up something he liked, or when I went too far. Edward sighed, "Bella, I don't think I'll be able to keep my hands to myself while you experiment. It would be better for _you_ if you turned around."

"Oh." I mouthed in understanding. Remembering last night, and even this morning when he had grabbed my hair, controlling the pace.

Edward chuckled when I had turned around, my legs on either side of his chest. He said something lowly in an amused voice, all I caught was, "Nice view too."

My cheeks warmed. Ducking my head I caught Edward watching me flush from between my legs. "Why are you embarrassed?" he wondered, a shrewd glint in the way he watched me.

I flushed deeper and moved so he could no longer see my face and call me on my easy blushes. Instead I took a long deep breath that pulled air all the way to my toes, and faced the terrifying fact that I didn't know where to start. Better than last night, the general idea of how to touch was clarified now. Maybe the way Edward teased me with gentle kisses on my stomach and between my legs was a more feminine thing. Maybe Edward—or all men really—had different triggers.

It was while I had been hesitating that I felt a gentle tug on my hips, followed by a more forceful tug that started to drag me up the bed. I shrieked my protest, gripping the sheets in an iron fist only to have Edward flip me so I was lying beside him on the pillows, our faces so close I could smell the sweet undertones of his breath.

"You didn't answer my question. Why are you embarrassed? Or actually, the better question is how am _I_ embarrassing you?"

"You're procrastinating!" I cried, realization washing over me. Edward knew how he was embarrassing me, _and_ he also knew why. He was trying to force me into being confident. My wide startled eyes narrowed accusingly. And he just happened to be using this moment for recovery, probably under the ridiculous notion that I'd be _disappointed_ if he wasn't ready instantly.

"Yes, but that's beside the point." He stared at me with a deeply penetrating gaze that froze me for a moment. He leaned in even further so that our noses were almost touching. "Are you a gentle lover?" he whispered and I felt his breath hot against my suddenly burning lips. "Would you rather I forsake all my crude remarks for sweet nothings?"

I thought I murmured something before he captured my lips. I thought I forgot to breathe before Edward's breath replaced mine. I thought my heart stopped before the electric shock of our touch sent enough electricity to revive me.

What I didn't think was that I could ever love him anymore than I already did.

Edward's fingers twined with mine, bringing it against his chest over his heart to let me feel his heartbeat. My other hand twined into his hair, and I couldn't help the small smile that pulled my lips up.

Here was the man that no matter how simple the activity—kissing him for example—he always left me captured. Just running my hand through his hair I felt how very soft it was, how the warmth from his scalp made my whole hand tingle in tiny electric shivers. Just feeling his heart beat sent tremors down my spine and made my own heart jump in time with his.

I felt my lungs burning and my head going fuzzy before it clicked I wasn't breathing. My eyes popped open and I pulled away, panting desperately for air. Edward chuckled breathlessly too, though I thought he had the common sense to breathe while he had been kissing me.

Edward gently tucked my head under his chin, resting me on his chest. Our hands, still twined, rested easily on his stomach. He brought our hands up for a moment to touch my cheek gently with the back of his hand, before replacing them with a gentle sigh. "You're beautiful." he whispered.

I kissed his chest in response. It seemed like overkill to return the comment. Like saying it out loud would make what I saw in Edward less authentic. Trying to force not just what I saw, but what I _felt_ around Edward into something as simple and austereas _words_ didn't feel like it made it more real or touchable. It felt like I was pinning a butterfly down under glass.

I sighed sadly. It seemed bitingly ironic that this man, that couldn't possibly belong to me, was the one I would be—

The thought was stopped dead by the deadbolt on the drawer in my mind.

"You know, that's really irritating." Edward said suddenly, and for a wild second, I thought he meant that I didn't finish my thoughts.

I sat up surprised only to find him giving me a dark look. "What?" I asked, taken aback by his sudden, seemingly groundless attack.

Edward cupped my face with both hands, bringing our faces closer. My head spun for a moment trying to think through the surprise and the haze his breath induced. "How would you feel if we went to an art museum, and every time you pointed out a beautiful masterpiece, I rattled off a list of faults?"

"But I didn't—"

Edward sighed, letting his hands fall. "You don't _have_ to say anything, Bella." Edward interrupted my stuttered objection. "You're still contradicting me."

I stared at him trying to figure out if he was playing some kind of game with me. His face was perfectly sincere in its graveness. "I…don't understand." I admitted finally. I hadn't done anything to contradict anything that he had said, I hadn't even though a 'you are wrong'.

"Say something. A statement." he demanded, his face still stony.

"You're insane."

Edward didn't say anything, his eyes slowly drifted to the side with a board expression and he sighed. Everything about his body screamed _you're dense, you don't know what you're talking about, I don't want to listen to you_. You are wrong.

"I did that?" I wondered quietly. If I hadn't noticed it before…could I have been doing that every time he said I was beautiful? To everyone who had ever spared me a complement? No wonder I was a social outcast.

Edward hesitated, "Maybe that was an exaggeration. It's more subtle…" Edward's eyes locked with mine, and then slowly looked down in silence.

This expression pulled at my heart. It said 'I know your wrong, but I'm not worth the argument'.

Edward's eyes came back to mine, "Don't you know how beautiful you are?" Edward whispered, reverently stroking his thumb just bellow my eye with the gentlest of touches.

His eyes were so beseeching that I opened my mouth to answer, before I realized I'd lost the ability to speak and closed my mouth again. All I could do was stare at him, frozen where I was with wide eyes and a muddled mind. When I finally grasp onto a thought, I blurted it aloud. "I don't look anything like a supermodel." I bit my tongue instantly and restrained the urge to shove a sock down my throat. Of course I didn't, I never even wore make up.

Edward grinned crookedly. "I'll admit, I don't think there is any man who would mind having a supermodel in their bed, but at the end of the day Bella, _you_ are the kind of women we all want to come home to. The kind of pretty they are—on the rare occasion they actually look like that—is stunning for the first day and a half, and then you start to see how plain and common all of the features are. Perfect doesn't stay interesting for very long.

"Your beauty is different in the way that you miss it if you look over it too quickly. But the moment you see it, you're fascinated. Awestruck."

I scowled at him; sure he was making fun of me now. He chuckled in understanding, "I'm serious. It's like…how your eyes are the exact same shade as your hair, and right around the center of your iris is so dark that you can't see where your pupil ends and your iris begins. It's mesmerizing. I could stare at you for hours on end. Not to mention how full your upper lip is in comparison with you lower lip, or how your hairline dips into your widow's peak. You're beautiful in a _real_ way, in a way that never gets old. And when I hold you, your _soft_, and warm and very comfortable."

I thought about that for a moment. I couldn't really understand what was so special even after he tried to explain it to me. I caught my self before I sighed and looked down at his chest. I'd have to start looking out for the rest of my tells. The ones no one noticed but him.

Instead, I kissed his chest. "Thank you." I murmured. And then I had an idea, I kissed a little lower on his chest, shooting him a glance.

"Of all your expressions, _that_ one scares me the most." He muttered darkly. "It means you're planning something."

I kissed a little lower, "Did you take a class on expressionism?" Maybe in an art class in university, or maybe high school, even if it was just a small unit. All Edward would need was a small unit in a high school art class to make him do more in-depth research. Or—the more likely way—when he was being trained as a police officer. Did they cover expressions and underlying meanings? Charlie seemed fairly unobservant most of the time but maybe the teaching method changed. I kissed just above his belly button.

Edward laughed, his body tensing for a short moment and I thought I found where Edward was ticklish. I'd have to explore that a little later. "No, I've always been good at interpreting expressions. I blame Emmett for that one. Everything he thinks and feels are so obvious you start to see little bits of them more easily on other people. Just the way someone arches their eyebrow, gives you an insight into their head."

I nodded, and then kissed a few inches below his belly button. I smiled to myself and kissed him again in the same place, open mouthed this time. When Edward still didn't stop me—his breath coming out in a breathless shudder—I started to suck at the skin, finally launching my plan.

Let's see how_ Edward_ likes hickies. It seemed more than fair since no one would see this one unless he took his shirt off, while _all _of mine where very obvious along my neck. I would have to pop my collar on the few shirts that had them, and wear my hair down for…how ever long it took the marks to fade. A week, two weeks? What if they lasted longer?

There was a sudden movement close beside my head. I jumped back startled. Edward burst into laughter at my wide eyed startled expression as I saw his manhood was standing up and ready. I quickly put my palm down over the barely there mark on his abdomen. Luckily, Edward hadn't seemed to have seen it, more amused by my reaction. "Did I startle you?" he asked between chuckles.

"No," I said instantly, and then I blushed and looked down at my hand. "Just a little surprised at how quickly it happened."

Edward covered his mouth and turned his head away, trying desperately to cover his laughter to keep from offending me.

I stuck my tongue out at him while he was distracted, and went back to sucking on his abdomen. His laughing calmed and his hand touched the back of my head. I froze for a moment, sure he had figured out what I was doing and was going to stop me. I was just about to launch into my argument on his constant double standards and hypocrisy, but his hand just soothed down my hair. I relaxed into his touch.

"And you're sure you have never done this before?" Edward murmured almost inaudibly.

I pulled away to make a smart remark when I noticed how dark the mark I had been nursing was. It was nearly black enveloped by a slightly lighter purple colour and a fierce red around the edges. Oops. I clapped a hand over my mouth, horrified.

I felt Edward shift on the bed. I looked up to see he had moved onto his forearms to see what I had done. He whistled; a long low impressed sound. "Remind me to keep you away from my neck."

I nodded. As much as I wished it would be fair play to put a mark that dark on his neck, his hair wasn't long enough to cover it.

And then with out giving him any warning or opportunity to stop me again, I jumped on top of him grinning. Caught off guard as he was, he fell back flat onto the bed, breath huffing from his lungs. "Lay down." I commanded brightly.

"You're supposed to ask _before_ you jump someone, Bella." He muttered sourly around pulling the air back into his lungs.

I turned around on him quickly so that my legs were on either side of his chest and I was facing his feet. I pecked the mark and kissed downwards, sucking gently but not leaving anymore marks. When I came to it, I skipped over his man hood; instead I hesitated with him brushing the inside of my breast.

"Will you tell me if I'm doing something you don't like?" I asked, still hesitant.

Edward was silent a moment. "If you'd like, but I want you to remember that everyone makes mistakes. Just follow our two rules."

Right, no bending or biting. I took a breath to steady the butterflies in my stomach before I dipped my head between his legs to kiss the inside of his thigh. I didn't get a reaction from him. I sucked gently at the skin but I still didn't get a reaction. I frowned, "I thought you were going to tell me—"

"If I _didn't_ like something." Edward finished for me, "I never agreed to tell you what feels good or neutral." Edward's hands came up to cup my ass, massaging the skin. "I do have a question though. Am I allowed to touch you while you experiment?" Edward dipped one finger inside me and I bit my lip fiercely to hold in my reaction. His finger curled down in an upside-down come-hither kind of way, towards my stomach.

I cried out, my back arching. "No, none of that." I gasped between clenched teeth. My hand came up as a contradiction to try and make his fingers move deeper inside me.

Edward sighed, and his hands disappeared from me before I could betray myself. I sighed too, though mine was more in relief rather than disappointment.

I shook my head trying to figure out where I was. I moved back to where I had been before where his erection was in front of me instead of under me, and then I licked from the mark on his abdomen up until I reached the base of his arousal. I flattened my tongue and licked up until I reached the very tip, wrapping my lips around just the head and sucking. Edward's legs trembled. I smiled to myself before getting more confident and going all the way down until I had him fully in my mouth, moving my neck so he didn't press against the tender skin.

I swallowed around him and—in a daring leap of courage—tried gently squeezing his testis. Edward swore and bucked into my mouth sharply. I pulled away instantly, "Did I do something wrong?"

"No," he gasped, swallowing audibly. "You did something very _very_ good."

I hesitated before moving back down on him, only taking part of him into my mouth and using varying rhythms with my hand. Moving opposite to how my mouth was moving, moving in time with my mouth, sucking gently on the tip again and exploring with my tongue around the slit and the skin directly under the head while pumping my hand along the whole of his shaft.

The whole of Edward's body was shaking slightly under me, and he hadn't once called out a 'stop' or said I wasn't doing something right. I got the courage to start to explore lower again. I squeezed gently around the base of his erection while doing the same to his testis and sucking just as gently on the head.

I moved my mouth away to try to see his reaction. His eyes were closed, lips parted, his hands where gripping the iron bars of his headboard like a lifeline, and his chest was moving up and down in short, rapid breaths.

I smiled proudly and took him back into my mouth again, starting a synchronized rhythm between my hand and my mouth while I caressed the under side of his testis with my finger. Edward jerked under me unexpectedly and I lost my balance, my finger slipping a little further down, brushing against something that at first felt like a scar. I ran my finger over it again, taking my mouth off him so I could see better.

"Stopping doesn't feel good! Stopping feels really _bad_, Bella." Edward gasped. It wasn't until I head him that I realized my hand had stopped pumping him too. I started just working him with my hand while I looked at the mysterious scar, only to realize it was something like a minuscule dimple under the skin.

I cocked my head and pressed down gently. Edward started speaking, though his words sounded foreign, and I realized he was skipping through languages quickly enough to remind me of flipping through channels on a television. That was either a very good sign or a really _bad_ one.

My mind jumped to the high-tech-ish universal remote Phil had bought for us one Christmas. While exploring all the buttons, Renee had touched one on the reverse side, and the batteries had fallen out.

I desperately hoped this button wouldn't do the same.

Suddenly I had an idea for one major experiment. I pumped him with my hand, fast and hard while my other hand moved in a clockwise motion on the tiny dimple. As a grand finale, I took his testis into my mouth and sucked gently.

Edward cried my name out. It wasn't until I felt a hot shot of liquid on my breasts that I realize where I had inadvertently angled him.

"Oh!" I cried, and sat up startled. I went to stand for no other reason than I was surprised and ended up tipping slightly and falling back when the bed depressed under my weight.

I curled myself for impact, waiting for my head to crack against the head board and hoping Edward would dress me before rushing me to the hospital. Instead, I landed beside Edward on the pillow by some miraculous stroke of luck, my chest heaving almost as fast as his was. My eyes were wide in alarm while Edward's were closed, his smile incredibly peaceful.

I relaxed slowly, smiling at his expression. He opened one eye lazily at me with his own crooked smile before his eye slid closed again.

In a sudden and unexpected moment, his eyes flew open and he was on his side looking down at my chest with an intensely contrite expression, "Oh god, Bella, I'm so sorry." he apologized, reaching behind him to grab some tissues from a Kleenex box on the bedside table on his side.

"It's fine." I mumbled distractedly while I heard him ripping the tissues from the box, muttering agitatedly to himself. The viscous liquid on my breasts had cooled to skin temperature and I had almost forgotten it was there. His sudden reaction brought my attention back to it.

I swiped my finger through some, examining the warm whitish fluid. Curiously, I popped my finger into my mouth to see if it tasted the same as I remembered. Whether the taste had changed because he hadn't eaten all day other than some cereal, or because I hadn't remembered the taste right, it seemed to taste more like Edward, with a little less of the musky salt tang.

I become conscious of a lack of movement beside me in contrast to just a few moments ago to Edward's flurry of movement. My eyes flickered to where I knew Edward was only to see him staring at me, a handful of tissues balled in his frozen hand. I blushed, ducking my head.

I felt Edward hesitate before I felt his thump swipe through a bit of cum between my breasts. He brought his thumb up to my lips hesitantly, looking ready to detract his hand on the first sign of disapproval or unwillingness on my end. I locked eyes with him, taking his thumb into my mouth, trying to see if this was what he wanted me to do.

"Ah," Edward groaned softly, staring at my lips wrapped around his thumb. I finished licking his thumb clean, and then took my mouth off him to smile brightly. Edward stared at my lips a moment longer before shaking his head, looking like he was trying to clear it. And grinned back at me crookedly, cleaning my chest off with the tissues. "I am sorry I didn't warn you. I was having a little trouble remembering where I was, and then you—" he choked off and shook his head, swallowing thickly.

I thought about that. Was that why he had started flickering through languages? Because he forgot where he was? "What were you trying to say before? I couldn't understand you."

Edward was still cleaning my chest of, trying to be thorough and gentle. "I think it was something between hallelujah and some kind of divine worship." His eyes flickered to my face for a moment before looking back to his work, a small smile pulling his lips up.

I thought back to all the languages he had flipped between, I hadn't been paying so much attention then, but now I was interested. "How many languages do you know?"

"I know five languages _well_, and I know bits and pieces of thirteen other languages. When you spend a month or more submerged in a foreign language, you usually pick up a least a little bit. Even if it's just, 'I only speak English' or 'where's the restroom?'"

I was imagining poor Edward desperately asking absolute strangers where he could relieve himself. I snickered.

Edward grinned and reached over me to throw the used tissues in the garbage. The moment I heard them fall I pushed quickly against his chest so he was lying on his back and scrambled on top of him. I was about to ask if I could experiment again, maybe Edward had other triggers that would be useful to know. Plus there was still his ticklish spot to investigate. I grinned wickedly to myself.

Just as I was about to ask though, a song from when I was younger jumped into my head. My eyes widened and I laughed out loud. Edward's head cocked to the side, "What's so funny?" He wondered with a grin.

I smiled and then hummed the tune.

Edward chuckled and then rolled us so he was hovering over me, singing the song out loud. "I'm kind of the castle, and you're the dirty rascal." Edward chuckled softly, touching his nose to mine "The nursery rhyme seemed to suit us." he joked.

Edward slowly rolled us back over so that I was lying on top of him again; his hands on the juncture between my waist and my hip, holding me flush against him. I grinned, "You mean I'm the king and you're the rascal? Because that seems right."

Edward made a face went to roll us again, but I planted my hand on the mattress. He grabbed my arms, folding them against my chest and rolled so I was on the bottom. I scowled back at him and he grinned again, wider. "I think the title of king sounds better before my name."

I struggled to roll him over, pushing my hips up against his. Edward let me roll him so I was on top, but I held my hips again, keeping my body flat on his. I frowned at him. "Are you kidding? The name Isabella is royal." I sniffed, "Besides, I can't be the rascal. I'm innocent."

Edward threw his head back and laughed in earnest. "You might have been able to pull that one off a few days ago, but I _know_ you are a seductress now. A mischievous seductress. Which makes you the rascal."

Edward went to roll so he was on top again…

And we ran out of bed.

* * *

**A/N: I'm back! But only for a few days and then I'm gone again for the rest of the summer. ^_^ I'm surprised at how many people care enough about the authors here on fan fiction to actually read author's notes. It makes me happy. **

**I hope you all enjoyed this and the next chapter. That's right, two chapters at once! I'm even in the middle of the third; maybe I'll finish it by the end of my time back. Fingers crossed. _? And reviews always help.**


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9**

**Teeny Tiny Twilight**

There was a short whooshing of air and then we stopped suddenly, impact sending the air from Edward's lungs in a harsh _whoosh_ing sound. Edward spun us in the air to brake my fall.

I think my fall might have broken Edward.

I sat up right, being careful to keep my weight off of him. "Are you hurt?" I whispered. I was already gently patting his shoulders down, his ribs, his hips.

"No offence, but you're a little heavier than I thought." Edward groaned, his eyes squeezed tightly shut. He shook his head, opening his eyes and sitting up slightly so he could lean back against the bed side table. "I think I'm good. Are you okay?"

"I'm Fine." I answered immediately though my knees _were _kind of sore, throbbing painfully with my pulse. And then I grinned, "I landed on something soft." not really true, Edward's already hardened body had tensed for impact. It was like hitting the floor holding a slab of marble against me. My three cracked ribs agreed.

"Wonderful." he muttered, leaning his head back.

I leaned my head on the juncture between his head and his shoulder. "If you want I'll be on the bottom next time we fall off the bed." I joked.

Edward snorted, his arms wrapping around me suddenly tight. "So that I can crush every bone in your body? Not likely." He moved me back a little after a short moment so I could see his amused expression. "Were you planning on us falling off the bed again anytime soon?"

I ducked my head, trying to hide my blush. "Maybe we're safer on the floor."

Edward chuckled, pulling me back up against him, soothing his hand down my back and over my hair. I sighed contently, worming closer against his body. Goose bumps prickled up the skin of my arms and I shivered delicately in the cooled air that sulked around the floor.

Edward wrapped his arms around me tightly. "Do you want a blanket?" he murmured quietly, tracing the bumps on my arm, only succeeding in producing more.

I shook my head, "I'm fine." I mumbled. Edward was incredibly warm, and where ever his skin touched mine, I burned deliciously.

Edward was silent, holding me and rubbing my back lightly, "Are you sure you're okay?" he wondered after a moment.

I sighed at his unnecessary concern, "Yeah. I'm warm now." I kissed the bottom of his jaw.

Soft as a moth's wing, his fingers fluttered up my neck, lightly tracing my lips. Then Edward tilted my head up fractionally and touched my lips with his in a soft kiss. My hand slid down his bare chest until I could feel the steady beat of his heart, could feel my spine tingling.

Edward smiled against my lips before parting them gently. His head tilted to the side and his tongue slipped inside to touch, and taste and caress all the velvety skin. His tongue teased mine and my breath caught, our lips whispering together.

I don't know what changed or who started it, but suddenly we were kissing hard. Instead of the shy touch and retreat dance we had been doing before, Edward's mouth was demanding on mine, our tongues flipping between dancing and sparring. His one hand was fisted in my hair, the other exploring along and across my ribs.

I was suddenly very aware of him pressing up against my stomach and I shook my head, pulling away. Edward released my lips only to start kissing down my neck, lifting my body up higher on him so he could kiss lower, his lips brushing across my collar bone before hesitating slightly to work back up my neck.

I laughed breathlessly, "Don't you need to eat or something? Take a breath, Edward." Was this normal? I wasn't sure if this constant need was something to be expected in the beginning, and would eventually slow to something less frantic or if this was us.

It wasn't just him either. _I_ could feel it too. The need to always be touching him, to always have that heady satisfaction afterwards that buzzed around inside my bones. The more I thought about it, the more I wanted it. Wanted him.

Edward's lips left burning kisses up my throat until he reached the shell of my ear. "If you think that _taking a breath_ is going to help, you're wrong." Edward inhaled deeply, "All I'm doing is breathing _you_ in." he whispered against my skin.

I shivered leaning into his touch, my breathing ragged. Somehow our skin on skin contact wasn't enough. My bones were itching, blood burning under the skin that was so close to his. My hand went over his chest again to feel his heart mimicking my own palpitations.

Edward's nose brushed across my throat, tracing the line of my neck. I struggled to remember to breathe when he kissed the corner of my jaw, before trailing kisses back down across my throat. "I want you, Bella." he whispered into the hollow above my collar bone. "Please." he breathed against my skin.

When Edward pleaded like that, mountains would move for him. "Please." I repeated him, listening to how the power drained out of the word when it rolled off my tongue. My eye brows came together. I didn't want to sound like that; I wanted to have the same earth shattering capability as he did. My hands laced into his hair, trying to pull him closer. "Yes. Please Edward." This time the word could have been his, I even felt Edward bow a little under the substance of the simple word.

For a moment Edward didn't move, his breath shuddering warm and soft out against my skin. And then he lifted my hips and locked eyes with me before slowly lowering me onto him. The moment I felt him inside me, I was overtaken by a pleasure that gripped my itching bones, and fuelled my burning blood. My lips parted lightly, my eyes fluttering though I fought to keep them open. I watch the same intense pleasure cross over his face in the slight slacking of his jaw, how his eyes unfocused slightly. The feeling of his fingers tightening in a flutter of strength, the muscles rolling up across his arms.

When Edward was fully inside me, I bit my lip, my eyes finally fluttering closed.

Edward sighed, a satisfied sound before his hands brushed up to cup my breasts, kneading them gently.

My stomach coiled up into a deliciously tight knot, and I leaned back to give him better access, leaning my hands back onto his legs to stabilize me.

I opened my eyes to see Edward looking hungrily over my chest before his eyes caught mine. I blushed, about to move back up to a position that made me feel less vulnerable. One of Edward's hands was suddenly at my waist, not restricting any movement, but the touch was enough to make me pause long enough to watch Edward lean forward slowly and takes a breast into his mouth, sucking gently at the skin. His eyes, still netting mine in a sea of green, seemed to almost be laughing at my enraptured expression.

My suddenly heavy head fell back, and a very husky, very _loud_ moan bubbled up my throat.

"Do you know how to move like this?" Edward whispered, switching breasts.

I hesitated, Edward had said no bending, but did that include inside me? Would I accidentally hurt him if I didn't move in a certain way? "No." I gasped, to be on the safe side.

Edward took hold of my hips, pulling me down closer on him while he continued to kiss my breast, wrapping his tongue around the nipple. I whimpered and tried to get him to show me what to do, moving my hips in small motions to get any sort of friction. Edward's hands kept me securely in place. I felt his lips curve up into a smile around my breast.

"Edward, _please_."

Edward's fingers moved for a better grip and then raised me slowly, nearly to the tip before letting me slid back down just as slow. I managed to raise my head and look at him. Edward was watching me intently, looking like he had been waiting for this, for him to be able to watch the play of pleasure across my face. He started moving me faster, our skin slapping as I came back down.

"Yes, _yes_, Edward." I moaned aloud again, my head falling back. In some inconsequential part of my mind I could feel my hair brushing against his legs and falling onto the carpet, I knew that the feeling was probably distracting for him, I knew I was probably getting heavy on Edward's arms, and I was absolutely positive I was making too much noise.

And I couldn't bring myself to care.

When I next screamed out loud, I wasn't sure if it was to punctuate this fact, or because the feeling of Edward pressing hard up inside me, towards my stomach where I was beginning to see was full of extremely sensitive nerve endings was forcing the sound up my throat. The way Edward's pace changed from fast enough to feel my breast bouncing in time with his frantic rhythm, and then falling back to a slower pace, letting the brilliant building of light fall from my vision just in time for him to start the frantic pace up again was enough to make anyone scream.

"I—I think I understand h—_Edward_." I cried as his mouth latched onto a breast again, his pace quickening. My back arched, my eyes fluttering open to stare at the ceiling before it was consumed in a flurry of blinding colours. There was a moment where I saw the colours start to fade, the pleasure crescendo starting to fall before all the brilliant reds and oranges, greens and blues and violets where thrown back into sharp relief against the black ceiling. His thumb hand pressed against my bundle of nerves just above where we were connected.

I screamed again, and then there was a shot of heat inside me.

Edward grabbed my arms just as I felt all my muscles going limp, and he pulled me up to lean against his chest, boneless.

For a moment there was only our breathing, our one heartbeat. I was starting to feel my muscles again, testing my arm, moving it up and down before clenching my hand and uncurling it. I felt Edward's chuckle move through my chest as wholly as I heard it.

"You never told me you had a multiple orgasm button. If you tell me things like this, I could make life a whole lot better. Or at least more fun."

I pulled away to try and see what he was talking about. He grinned at my confused expression and he pointed at my clitoris. My eyebrows came together, even more confused. "But you knew that was there."

Edward turned his head into the side of the mattress, positioned conveniently by his head and tried to stifle his laughter.

Just because I couldn't see what was so funny didn't mean I didn't see I was the butt of his ridicule.

Edward grinned at me, still chuckling under his breath, "Yes, I did, but it's not that I knew it was there so much as how incredibly sensitive it was. Your breasts too. More so than usual."

I looked down at my breasts, trailing my fingers delicately under the electric flesh and then frowned, looking back at Edward. "Is my body wrong?"

"Never." Edward breathed, his hands coming up to cup both of my breasts, the flesh zinging at the heat. I bit my lip, my hands instinctively moving around to the back of Edward's head. "Nothing this beautiful could _ever_, in a million years, be wrong. All it means is I get to have more fun. And if I touch you at the right place at the right moment, you'll orgasm again. And again. And again"

Edward stood, bring me with him. I stumbled on unsteady legs. Edward laughed quietly, lacing one arm behind the small of my back; the other hand stole mine so we were in a dancing pose. He pirouetted me slowly, before pulling me up flush against him.

He watched me with hooded eyes, pressed up the length of his body to my breasts were pressed against his chest, making them swell round and full against his flesh. He started spinning us in graceful steps, slowly at first while I remembered how to move my feet and fell into step with him, and then moving faster so the room blurred.

He hummed under his breath, a completely different tune to the pace of our steps. What he hummed was soft and slow, sounding like an ancient lullaby, and yet something I hadn't ever heard before. He suddenly dipped me low enough that my head was just inches from the floor. I laughed and he grinned, righting me. "You are a wonderful dancer."

He was teasing me. I was just barely keeping pace with his basic steps. I sniffed, "Watch you toe."

Edward jumped out of the way of my mock attempt at crushing his toes with my heel. "Light on your feet too." Edward grinned. He pulled me tight against him again, this time though, I felt his want pressed against my stomach.

I stopped my attempt at dancing, and Edward stopped too. I traced my finger along his chest, tracing imaginary patters while I tried to find a way to word my question. Edward waited silently, his hand inching a little farther down my back.

I took a deep breath, "I don't really know a lot about this kind of thing," I admitted, gesturing between us, "But I kind of thought...your recovery time would take a little…longer. Not that I'm complaining or anything, I was just curious if it was always like this." I assured him quickly, hoping that he understood what I was trying to ask. Maybe my body wasn't the only abnormal one.

The hand that had been in mine started to trail lightly up my arm, over my shoulder before gently cupping my face and raising it so I could see his. "Everyone is different. Maybe I do recover a bit faster than normal, but it's also like most women take longer to orgasm than men. You have me scrambling to keep up." Edward grinned.

I blushed, and it was only Edward's hand that kept me from ducking my head. "Oh." was all I could think to say in response.

Edward's thumb stroked my heated cheek before he leaned down to kiss me. He started to back us up while he explored around inside my mouth. My hands gripped his shoulders, lips burning, my pulse pounding in my ears. It was only when my back hit the wall did Edward pull away, standing at his full height, his head cocking in a half amused, half excited. "Any more questions?"

"Not at the moment." I murmured. There was a strange feeling going on in my head, light headed almost though I was sure I was pulling in enough air. I monitored my shallow breaths, the way the air couldn't seem to stay in my lungs long enough to be to any use. I tried to breathe more deeply, pulling in a deep breath of air.

Edward smiled down at me in an innocent way, stepping closer so I was pressed up between the wall and his body. "I have a question of my own then. Before we had been interrupted down stairs…you mentioned something about the wall?" Edward let the rest of the thought trail off.

The deep breath I had taken came out in a _whoosh. _I swallowed, and then executed an impressively relaxed shrug, looking away. "Just wanted to experiment." I flicked a glance at him before looking away again.

"Oh, if that was all then." Edward replied in a tone just as offhanded. I felt his hands flutter down around my waist, making a decent so slow I almost didn't notice it.

I swallowed again, trying to wet my suddenly cotton dry mouth. Edward looked away too, and when I looked up to see why, he shot me a sly look out of the corner of his eye. In a flash he scooped down, cupping my ass tight enough to make me squeal, and lifted me up against the wall. My legs wrapped around his waist instinctively, hands wrapping tightly around his neck.

I stared at him, eyes wide. He grinned, leaning in so that his nose was touching mine. "I wouldn't want to disappoint." he murmured lowly, eyes burning darkly. His eyes closed and he smiled a small smile that hinted at something darker. "You know, there are a few ways to do this."

"Against the wall? Really?" I squeaked, my voice jumping up two octaves unintentionally.

Edward chuckled darkly, moving back a bit, keeping me pressed up against the wall before sliding into me. A shiver tickled up my spine, my head falling back against the wall. Electricity hissed through my veins, and Edward pulled out before slamming back into me. I cried out, my hands shaking as he pressed his body hard against mine before repeating the action.

And then, without disconnecting us, he lowered me back to the floor, one leg still hitched around his waist, his knees bent to accommodate my short stature. The hand that wasn't holding my leg up around him snaked around behind my back, bowing my body into him before thrusting slowly up into me. I whimpered, lacing my hands into his hair.

_I love you,_ I wanted to whisper as he moved so softly inside me, bodies pressed tightly together, _I love you so much_. Saying the words aloud though trapped them into something less than what they were. Trapped them under glass. Instead I kissed his shoulder and whispered his name.

Edward groaned and took my other leg, standing straight again. "Goodbye knees." he grumbled. "You need to grow another six inches before we try that again."

I laughed breathlessly, resting my head on his warm shoulder. "I could wear high heels. Or you could stop being an old man." I joked.

Edward grinned, "I like the high heel offer." Edward closed his eyes and hummed lowly, "Bella in six inch stilettos."

I rolled my eyes, "Bella in an emergency room with two broken ankles."

Edward's grin widened and he turned us so that it was his back resting against the wall instead of mine. I guessed he was trying to give himself a break without actually pulling out of me or putting me down. "I promise; you would come out unscathed. I'd hold most of your weight."

"You'd have to put me down sometime." I warned him. "Imagine Emmett in six inch stilettos. Same amount of destruction."

Edward scowled at me, "Thank you for the mental image. You _will_ come out unscathed." Edward promised, and though there was no way he could promise to rein in my destructive bad luck, I felt the promise was iron clad. He gave me a sly look, "I'll prove it to you. Maybe not today, but someday I'll get you into heels."

I shook my head. I had absolute confidence in the fact I would never stand before Edward in heels. Even small ones. "Were those the only wall positions?" I wondered. If so, it just put us back where we started.

Edward grinned. "No. I bet there are a lot more, but I'm only aware of one other."

I waited for him to move us again. All the images I was producing were kind of scary. And I didn't think I was that flexible anyways.

Edward gripped my ass again, I squealed, bucking into him. He laughed darkly, then pulled me back and slammed me back down on him. Edward groaned softly, "You know what the best thing about holding you like this is?"

I shook my head, wrapped tightly around him. Struggling to take in a breath beyond the clenching of my abdomen, and the feeling of being full of him.

"You are light enough that I can do this." He started moving me on him, fast enough that it felt more like I was being bounced off his pelvis. The sound of our flesh connecting was drowned out by my screams. The pleasure was pushed to a greater height by the shadow of primal energy.

As light as Edward claimed I was, he was still human, and as his arms started to get tired, the pace slowed. He spun us so I was pressed into the wall again, and then started to drive into me, harder than I was used to. There was no soft mattress under me to absorb some of the energy, nor was there any room for my body to rock to after each of his thrusts. Caught between Edward and a hard place, I absorbed the full brunt of his lust.

"Edward, _fuck me_."

Edward paused for a moment for a double take. My cheeks flushed crimson, my chest heaving. I could feel where the scream had ripped up my throat, and a certain almost detached part of me was impatient for Edward to keep moving. The rest of me was looking around for who else could have screamed that.

I'd had moments of insanity, ones where I was sure I had obsessive compulsive disorder, but _never_ multiple personality disorder. I was loosing my mind and I wasn't sure how I felt about it.

He blinked in shock, and then as an almost involuntary moment, his eyes dropped to watch my breasts heaving. A strange growling sound rumbled out of Edward chest and when he met my eyes again, there was a wild animalistic light in them, colour darkening to a midnight gem.

My breath caught in my throat. Edward captured my lips before I could get it back, as he started…fucking me. I didn't know how else to describe the renewed strength, how there was a wild kind of abandon in the way that he drove himself into me. It was in the way his tongue thrust into my mouth, not even in time with his movements. It was the way I was _consumed_.

His teeth took hold of my bottom lip and pulled harshly before kissing me hard again. One of my legs curled around him completely, the other stretched out behind him, toes curling as a vicious coil snared muscle, bone, light, heat, anything—_everything_ it touched and dragged it into the very centre of my body.

It was a pleasure so fierce, so old and new, primal and fresh, untouchable and absolutely consuming that I screamed Edward's name, taking fistfuls of his hair and pulling hard, my body arching up into his.

Edward slammed me into the wall, but instead of pulling back to repeat, he pushed harder so I was crushed against him, the depth of penetration would have left me writhing if I hadn't been so completely pinned. Edward's mouth was still on mine, though he wasn't kissing me anymore, he was absolutely still other than his hot ragged breath inside my mouth.

The coil snapped and I exploded.

Muscle and bone was flung back into place, light blinded me; compressed all the brilliant colours into one massive frenzy of heat and radiance.

I was shaking in Edward's arms, all my muscles convulsing before leaving me limp. The only thing that kept me from sliding to the floor was Edward, holding me in place. He started moving again, he kissed the side of my mouth, hot breath exhaling across my cheek.

The wild frenzy had been replaced with a new rhythm. He'd thrust hard and fast into me before slowing down, concentrating on depth, and then repeating the pattern.

Instead of the climb of pleasure I was expecting, it was just a level kind of sensual bliss. The feeling didn't climb, and I wasn't left trying to move the ride faster. Instead I could watch Edward, just revelling in him. There was a sheen of sweat over his glistening skin, the hair on his forehead was matted down, and he smelled like a man. It was a good kind of smell in an unexpected way. I had never actually been drawn to it before, but the scent carried an encompassing blanket of security with it, of warmth, of comfort.

I wanted to touch his face again, maybe to run my hand through the sweaty locks, or to trace the shape of his mouth where it hung slightly ajar in an expression of carnal bliss. The same small voice, the nagging feeling that told me not to tell him that I loved him came again though, and my hand stayed where it was on his shoulder.

After a minute though, the bones in my fingers started to itch, wanting to touch him so badly. He was on his slow deep movements, and instead of touching his face as I so badly needed to, I reached down, having to negotiate around the outside of my thigh to get where I wanted to be.

Edward was in the middle of pulling out to slide back in when I grasped his testis, squeezing a little. His breathing choked off and he reversed, sliding back inside me quickly.

I rested my head on his shoulder, kissing the heated skin softly once. I watched the muscles work in Edward's neck as he swallowed thickly. I grinned, having to tilt my body a little to reach more comfortably. I fondled him where they were, pulled up tight against his base. And then I started searching for the little dimple, the almost scar.

Edward started rocking, not really pulling out far, but still moving. It made finding the little piece of skin a little harder, but when I did, I memorized its location. I grasped onto him again squeezing, and then used the joint in my middle finger closest to my knuckle to rub the small dimple, pushing harder than I had before.

"Fuck Bella." He cried loudly.

Instantly I retracted my hand, pulling it tightly against my chest so I wouldn't do anymore damage. He started slamming into me again, his eyes flashing open to stare at me. The absolute _terror_ that I had done something wrong and hurt him, so badly that he was pushed to this kind of reaction was instantly soothed the moment I saw how he was looking at me.

I couldn't find any anger in them, only a desperate need and I realized with a great shiver of relief that he had _liked_ it.

Edward had thrust hard into me maybe three times before he gave one last hard drive that left him deep inside me. There was a massive wave of warmth that washed through me compared to the shot of warmth I had come to expect. His fingers dug sharply into my skin and his legs collapsed, falling to his knees with me still wrapped around him. His arms moved from cupping my ass to wrapping his arms around me, one around the small of my back while his other hand held my upper body tightly against his as he started pumping a few more times in a half-hearted rocking motion, dragging the feeling out.

Edward sighed contently, finally finding his relief. I sighed too, my head resting on his shoulder, playing with where his hair ended in a perfect little point at the back of his neck. There was a comfortable silence between us, and I listened to all the little sounds. There was a faint humming of a heater somewhere in the house, strumming like a heartbeat, the lightest sound of rain falling against the window.

After a long moment on the floor, Edward grabbed the bedside table and stood up on shaky legs, carrying me to the bed before gently laying me down. I rolled over and he lay down beside me.

He went to wrap his arms around me, but I sat up and quickly pulled the sheets over us and then wiggled back into the circle of his arms.

He chuckled softly, "Do you have any idea how confusing you are?" He murmured softly. "Or maybe it's no so much confusing as it is unexpected. Amazing. Mind blowing."

I frowned, moving my head from his chest. He was grinning crookedly at me. "What did I do?"

His grin widened, "You jump between being a soft lover and a fierce one so quickly I'm left a little dazed. I think I like it. I think I like it a lot." he flashed his teeth in a wide smile.

I shivered a little at that smile. "You think I'm fierce?" I wondered, flattered in an unexpected way. It made me feel incredibly sexy. Almost sexy enough for lingerie.

Edward grinned, "Always. But I think I like it most when it's not being used _against_ me."

I sighed, remembering when I had attacked Edward the very first night we had met. I started to run through the night again, and then the next night when he had snuck into my room for the first time, when he had gone to lock the door…

"Can I ask you something? You don't have to answer, it's a little personal." I wondered quietly after a moment, doodling nervously on the toned lines of his abdomen.

Edward chuckled, "Because god forbid we get personal." he murmured under his breath. "Go ahead; what did you want to ask?"

I blushed, "Never mind, it's stupid."

"Ask me." he rubbed my back. I pursed my lips and shook my head. Edward sighed. After a moment he groaned, "Please Bella?" When I still didn't say anything, Edward's voice dropped into an ominous edge, "I'll just think it's something much worse than it is." He threatened. "Please?"

I hesitated, and then wiggled up a little in his arms, looked once at his pleading expression, and broke. I buried my face into the crook of his neck. "Do you…I mean did you ever think about…us?""Of course." Edward murmured, touched my hair gently though I head a bit of confusion on his voice. "The moment I realized you were someone I wanted to spend every second with—"

"No," I interrupted, "Not like that."

Edward laughed, "Ah, I understand now." He chuckled under his breath. "Yes, I did." It was silent for a long moment. "Oh. You're looking for specifics. What brought this on?"

My blush deepened. "I—I was just…"

Edward pulled my head away from its hiding place, he was grinning crookedly. He pulled me so I was sitting on his stomach, his hands folding behind his head. The greying light cast us into semi-darkness, and I leaned forward to click on the bed side lamp, the bulb capped by a silver bowl-like shape. Immediately, Edward's skin was glowing golden under the light, the shadow of his eyelashes fluttering on his cheekbones when he blinked at the sudden harshness. When Edward opened his eyes again, they were on fire. The brilliant green glowed deeply, brought out even more by the red in his hair.

I swallowed thickly, staring at him.

Edward chuckled, raising one hand to shield his eyes from the sudden light; comparatively harsh to the soft light we'd had all day. His eyes were folded again into the dulling darkness, but his teeth glistened perfectly white in the light. "Why don't we turn on the big light so I can see you too?"

I ducked my head, smiling apologetically. His lamp was angled like a reading light. It reminded me of a cheesy cop movie I had rented once with Charlie one summer. "I'm interrogating you." I informed him, angling the snaked neck into his face, his eyes were glowing again, the green engulfing the miniscule pupil in the centre of the green ocean. Like a tiny island in each eye, somewhere I'd have to swim to every time I became caught in him. "It's the only way I can get any answers from you."

Edward's hand came up and covered the light, the flesh on the edges of his fingers glowing red from the light. His pupils started to dilate but he stared slightly to the left of my head like he was still blind as he spoke. "Turn on the big light and I'll answer you." Edward grinned, his eyes started to focus on me again.

I got up off him and flicked the light switch on the wall. I hadn't realized how dark it had gotten until I could see the places where the shadows had quietly snuck into before. Edward clicked the reading light off and then patted his abdomen for me to return.

I crawled back onto him, but instead of letting me sit back down, he grabbed my hips so I was kneeling over his chest, and then he shimmied down so his head was between my legs. "I'm curious, before I give you an answer, why you're so interested in what my fantasies are."

Edward's hands slid down from my hips over my thighs, and back up again, repeating the circuit. I shrugged weakly, "I…I want to give something back." I didn't know how to explain to him that I wanted to thank him for giving me the most amazing weekend of my life, much more than I ever would have expected I would have gotten for my first time from someone my age. The idea of waking up next to someone like Mike Newton left me feeling cold.

Edward's fingers parted my lower lips, and then he blew a breath of chilled air onto the heated skin. "I don't understand what you've taken from me that you feel you have to give back. If anything, _I_ have taken from _you_." He slid one finger inside me, feeling the inside of me in arched sweeping movements, more centred towards my stomach.

My breathing picked up and my hand captured his—the same involuntary reaction as last time. "More. I need more." I gasped, electrical sparks racing through my veins, setting pieces of me aflame, making my muscles clench deliciously.

Edward pulled his hand away, folding it under his head again. "Show me." Edward's face was composed, neutral, but under neither that, his eyes burned with excitement.

"What?" I asked, though I knew what he was saying. I pulled at his wrist, trying to get him to touch me again. After a moment Edward's hand came out from behind his head, only to take my own, leading it to where I needed _him_. "I don't know—"

Edward's hand was back behind his head, "Experiment. You will figure out what you like better than I can." When I still hesitated, Edward's gaze became pleading. "It's part of my fantasy. Not that you have to do anything. You had just taken an interest before."

I nodded, looking down at myself. Experimenting with Edward hadn't been nearly as hard as this seemed because everything was _outside_ his body, I could see it and know where everything was. Not so much for me, the only thing I was absolutely sure off was where my clitoris and my breasts were. Other than that, I was embarrassingly clueless.

I wondered why I hadn't taken an interest in this before now. I didn't know my body.

"Would you like some help?" Edward wondered after a moment.

I ducked my head, a curtain of hair falling around me. And since Edward was under me, around him too, intensifying our little bubble of intimacy. "Yes." I mumbled, "I'm sorry, this probably isn't at all like what you imagined."

Edward's hand moved from behind his head, touching my hair gently before touching my face. "No." he agreed slowly, "But this is real, and this is you. That makes it infinitely better. Besides, I don't feel like such a cad this time around."

Despite his joking demeanour, I was sure he was serious. "Why would you think that? I don't."

Both of Edward's hands moving from behind his head to trace the swell of my breasts with touches soft as a moth's wing. I moved my hands to touch my breasts too, wondering if this was how he was going to help me.

The flesh was electric under my touch, the ache for Edward intensifying. I touched and explored the sensitive skin while Edward spoke, his hands resting on my waist now, eyes riveted on what my hands were doing.

"Thank you for thinking that. But the things I imagined doing to you were not really appropriate to our relationship at the time. And honestly…you were never a virgin when I imagined us, which made me feel like even more of an ass when I climbed into your room and saw you smile that huge beautiful smile at me."

My hands paused for a minute. "Did you have a problem with my being a virgin?" I wondered quietly. Maybe he had only been placating me when he had told me he enjoyed helping me explore. I was sure he had been enjoying our time together, but maybe he preferred to have someone at the same sexual experience as him. Hadn't he said that was what all his relationships before me had been like?

"Never. Imagining you in pain though could never do anything for me, and I knew I would never trust anyone else with it. Besides the fact that I could not imagine innocent little Bella coming to _me _for sex. I don't think that ever occurred to me."

I giggled, "Did I surprise you?" I wondered jokingly, touching again. I flicked my thumb over my nipple and my breath caught. That had felt…good. Better than anything I had been doing before. I did it again and my stomach clenched.

Edward's hands tightened around my waist as he watched me experiment with the sensitive peak. "Yes, you did. I was sure I would have to wait a year or more before we actually started getting intimate like this." Edward's eyes were on mine then, staring at me with so much intensity my fingers froze, trembling. "I would have waited Bella, please know that. I can't imagine being with anyone else. I don't think that is an option for me anymore."

My hands dropped, and I couldn't for the life of me take my eyes away from his. My hands touched his where he held me, and then ran down his arm to his shoulder, I moved down a bit so I could bend down to trace the juncture of his neck and up into his hair. I leaned down until my face was close enough to his that I could feel the warmth of his breath on my cheek.

He wasn't smiling, his face was sober, his eyes grave with their sincerity. "I love you." He whispered, and it said a million more things that just those three words. It said he was helpless in a thousand ways, and needed me in a thousand more. It said that the truth of what he was saying alarmed him in ways he couldn't fully grasp.

I opened my mouth but nothing came out. I knew if I could just say it back to him, he wouldn't be so anxious about truly _needing_ someone else. The words were stuck in my throat, blocked by something so much greater than I could force into twenty-six letters.

I closed my eyes, and the feeling swelled passed my tight throat, past my paralyzed tongue until I could feel it burning behind my eyes.

I blindly touched my lips to his, and my skin burned fiercely where we touched. His response to the kiss was sluggish, and I could feel every ounce of hurt and disappointment in him at my silence to his declaration that left him so much more exposed than any of his others. The happy ones, the ones that said love made him feel so much stronger.

My eyes opened. Edward's were already opened, staring at me. He watched my eyes, and I could feel the silent feeling burning there.

Edward gasped quietly, and the air was sucked from my lungs. His lips stilled for a moment and then one hand was at the back of my head, holding me closer, kissing me fiercely.

I realized in the nearly absolute silence between us—only interrupted by the whisper of our lips, the single beat of our heart, and the uneven pull of air into our lungs—Edward had heard every silent 'I love you' that I couldn't speak. I could still feel something missing in the kiss still, Edward waiting for me to find the words to tell him, but he knew something I was just starting to really understand.

The loudest thing I had ever said in my whole life had been when my lips wouldn't open.

**"See how nature - trees, flowers, grass - grows in silence; see the stars, the moon and the sun, how they move in silence...we need silence to be able to touch souls."  
**Mother Teresa of Calcutta

**"Silence is the safest course for any man to adopt who distrusts himself"  
**François de la Rochefoucauld


	10. Chapter 10

— — — — —**Chapter 10Teeny Tiny Twilight**

"Please?"

"Why? I thought we were going to cuddle." I murmured, happily against his shoulder.

The plan to act out Edward's fantasy had been put off by Edward's declaration and my silence. Mostly because experimenting with my own body was more intimidating than experimenting with Edward's. Because honestly, I was sure I was going to embarrass myself in some way and ruin what ever façade Edward had created about a fierce and sexy Bella.

I made the cowardly lion look daring.

His hand ghosted across my skin. "What was it that you were doing before with your breasts?" he murmured in a low voice that had me instantly suspicious. "Hmm, I remember now."

His hand slipped between our bodies and he ran his thumb over the sensitive peak of my breast in a quick, flick of a motion. My whole body shivered with lust.

Instantly I was sitting up, trying to get him to touch me again. "Please?" I whimpered, pulling his suddenly limp hand back to my breast. He cupped me so incredibly softly I only received a whisper of electricity.

He gave me an innocent expression that fringed on hurt. "Why? I thought we were going to cuddle."

"You're nasty." I hissed. My whole body aching for him, even just where my legs brushed his abdomen were aflame.

He flashed me a smile, "No, just greedy. And spoiled. Both of which are your fault."

I made a face at him, "How is it _my_ fault? I don't think I've spent enough time with you to have any sort of influence."

Edward grinned. "It's your fault because the sex is fantastic, you are the most gorgeous creature I have ever laid eyes on, and you're up for anything—as long as there are no hand cuffs. There is no man luckier on this earth." He sighed happily.

I snickered at his heaven bound expression. "Alright. But only because of the faces you make."

"Oh golly gee."

I got up on my knees; recreating our position before where Edward could see everything I was doing without even having to move his neck.

Geez, he _was_ spoiled.

I hesitated at my breasts, "Do I have to start over?" In all honesty, I was impatient to get some kind of friction, and I thought that maybe I could con him into showing me what to while also getting him inside me. Even if it was just a single finger. He could do amazing things with it.

"No." and then he chuckled, "You're already dripping."

I blushed, "Oh," my voice came out in a squeak, only making Edward's smile bigger before I cleared my throat. "Can you show me…where to start?" Edward grinned and I knew I had been too obvious. I sighed, "Please? I don't…I don't know what to touch. Or not to touch."

His looked away shrewdly, thinking. "Alright," He murmured slowly. "Put your middle finger in your…Bella, you're already red and I haven't even said vagina." He sighed while I felt my face burn and I shifted awkwardly above him. "Fine then, put your finger _inside you_. Is that general enough?" he wondered, with irate sarcasm.

I hugged myself, looking away. His sarcasm was sharp, slicing through my security and leaving me feeling vulnerable. He was leaving me feeling like I was thirteen again, when the mention of sex sent me scurrying away. Sexy Bella was quickly draining, leaving me with only scared and juvenile Bella, neither of which wanted to do this anymore.

Edward was silent for a moment. "Bella?" He murmured gently. I unwillingly looked down at him. He was staring at me apologetically. "I'm sorry. Please understand though that I have gone through medical school. Saying…things like this is like saying arm or leg for me. It's so hard for me to feel uncomfortable talking about sex. And you, Bella, are far too perfect to be insecure."

I nodded, feeling slightly less stupid now that I understood his side a little. "Well you have to be fair then and see that my family isn't nearly as open as yours is. I have never talked about this with a man before. It's…intimidating."

Edward rubbed his hands along my waist. "I'm sorry. Really I am. I won't even tease you on your PG 13 vocabulary." He grinned for a moment and then looked down, "Do you still want to do this? I'll live if you decide you just want to snuggle, or go down stairs and watch a movie or anything of that nature."

I shook my head, "No, I want to do this." There were just too many benefits that I would miss out on if I didn't. Edward had proved that just a moment ago when he knew how to touch my breast in just the right way to set me off. "So…what did you want me to do?"

Edward took my hand and kissed my fingers. "Alright, this is very serious, so listen carefully and do what I tell you, Okay?"

I nodded as seriously back at him as he sounded, nerves compressing my lungs down. "Yes."

"Take a deep breath," he whispered. His eyes stayed on mine while I did as he said, taking a long deep breath. "Relax all your muscles." he took my other hand and kissed all the fingers, one by one while I let my muscles relax, taking deep even breaths still. "Finally—and most importantly—tell me you don't mind that I'm an inconsiderate moronic ass who is lucky to even know someone as amazing, and wonderful and miraculous, and _mind-boggling_ as you are."

I laughed out loud and Edward smiled too, though I saw the entire apology in it as he laced our fingers together, staring at them. "I don't think I can repeat that mouthful, and I'm a horrible liar anyways." I flashed him a big smile.

"I can repeat it slower if you'd like."

"I'll take a rain check. In Forks speak, that means when all the planets align and the world ends." I muttered, glancing behind me at the bleak weather. Three-hundred-and-sixty-five-days-a-year rain kind of destroyed the point of a rain check, and every time I heard someone say it, I always saw the irony no one else commented on.

Edward grinned, "Forks can't be that bad. Are you still relaxed?" I nodded, wondering if Edward had lived under a waterproof rock his entire stay here. _Can't be that bad. _"Place a finger inside yourself. Do you feel how smooth all the skin is except for one bit of flesh there? It should be about two inches in."

I closed my eyes, and found what he was talking about. "What next?"

"Everything. Figure out what you like to do with it. Press it, rub it, explore. Don't forget about your clito—" Edward choked off instantly, "I'm sorry Bella, I don't have another name for it."

It was my turn to feel like the inconsiderate moronic ass. Edward was using the appropriate names for my body, none of which were derogatory in the least, and he was _apologizing_ for it. "Don't be. I changed my mind, you're right. I'm being stupid. If I can't talk about sex I shouldn't be having it." I mumbled, dropping my hands.

"I never said you were stupid." Edward murmured quietly, his face a quiet expression of hurt that I might think that. He hesitated a moment, "Can I tell you a story about an old girlfriend? I will understand if the answer is no."

I shrugged, "You can tell me a story." I wanted to prove to him I was going to be more secure. If he didn't see anything wrong with my body—and he'd made it clear he didn't—then I should ignore the faults I saw. So what if I knew one breast was a little bigger than the other. Who cared about my scares? Only Edward and I were going to see them.

"A long while ago I was dating this girl who was a wonderful person. Very kind, and caring, and funny...when she was comfortable. After we had known each other for a while we started sleeping together. That's all pretty normal, except when we did become intimate, she never took her shirt off, and the lights always had to be turned off until she was under the covers. She made me leave the room when she changed her clothes because she didn't want me to see her body."

"Oh," I murmured, not sure how I was supposed to respond to that. "I'm sorry."

"I'm not done the story. One day I walked into the bathroom just as she was getting out of the shower—purely by accident. She started crying and broke up with me. It's wasn't pretty either, I'm sure I was called every name in the book by the time I left her room. Looking back now, I realize I shouldn't have been angry, I should have done something to help her, but I _was_ angry, and I didn't want anything to do with her. The last I heard, she had to be taken to a hospital because she had become bulimic." Edward turned his face away from me, hiding some emotion he didn't want me to see.

"I'm sorry Edward." I whispered, "You know that wasn't your fault, right?"

"Yes, I do, but I also know I did nothing to help her. Part of me sees all the signs I missed back then and another part of me is terrified it will happen again. So please, understand Bella, that I don't think your stupid—I don't think anything like that of you—I'm not angry at you either. I'm just _scared_. Being shy is one thing that I can understand. Being insecure is another, and I won't tolerate it. I'll remind you every day of the rest of your life how heartbreakingly beautiful you are, how brilliant you are, how much I love you if I have too, but you will _always_ know your worth. Is that understood?" Edward's eyes were back on mine riveting in their command.

"Yes, but I don't have an eating disorder. I don't hate myself either, if you're wondering." I informed him, wondering if he believed I did. I was thin, but nothing close to looking like I was anorexic, and the idea of self-mutilation in any form was something I couldn't quite wrap my head around. It terrified me.

"Insecurity is the first step. I don't want you taking that first step. I want to love you everyday and not worry about what horrifying torture you will inflict on yourself next. Besides, I like my women warm and soft."

I smiled, "Really? You aren't interested in tiny waist lines?"

"I'm interested in _you_." He murmured softly, moving his hands up my legs, touching the skin available to him. His arm only stretched to just below my collar bone, and he made sure to touch every inch of skin below that.

Without warning, Edward grasped my breasts, kneading them roughly. I gasped, my hands over his, encouraging him. My body had calmed while Edward had been telling his story, only one touch converted blood to electricity, nerves to live wires, flesh to flame all over again.

Warmth pooled in my abdomen and then liquefied. One of Edward's hands disappeared from my breast, only to feel him run his thumb between my lower lips, gathering the wetness that had collected there. He brought it close to his face, watching the light play off the moisture before calmly licking his thumb.

I had been paying more attention to what he had been doing with his thumb, the shock of want that shivered up my spine as he touched the heated flesh that I hadn't been paying _as_ much attention to what his other hand had been doing. It was brought to the forefront again as he pinched the sensitive peak of my nipple. I cried out, and Edward captured my hand before I could hold his to my flesh.

"Try it." Edward murmured, replacing my hand with his. He took my other hand and placed it between my legs. "Explore."

Hesitantly, I dipped my finger inside myself, finding the rough patch of skin Edward had directed to me to. I experimented, trying things Edward had suggested, sliding my finger across it while pumping, rubbing it directly when that didn't feel like enough. And then I remembered what Edward had done once. Curling my finger inside me, towards my stomach and the rough patch.

My jaw fell loose and a small whimpering sound escaped my lips before I took my lower one between my teeth, eyes fluttering closed. This felt right and unfamiliar at the same time. There was a heat building inside me, but as good as it felt, something about the heat felt different. It was almost like it was building in the wrong place.

"What are you doing?" Edward whispered, his voice husky.

I could only take the hand that had stilled on my breast to curl my finger. Articulating a response to that question was a little out of my reach at the moment. Edward moved my hand a little, positioning my thumb on the sensitive bundle of nerves, and I realized I _had_ forgotten about it. I rubbed it with my thumb, still curling my finger. Edward's hand pressed my still hand to my breast to remind me of that too. I flicked my thumb across my nipple a few times before pinching.

Helpless little sounds kept escaping from me though I tried to keep them in. They bubbled up my throat, spurred by the heat. Like putting water on the stove and watching all the bubbles rise to the surface. As the unfamiliar heat built, it started to become familiar.

Both of my hands went to the head board and I sobbed in irritation—in unfulfilled need. Because despite this too familiar warmth that had been building, so had another. The one Edward could start by simply brushing his hand across my stomach.

I opened my eyes to see Edward looking a little disappointed. Apparently he had been enjoying the show very much. "Why are you stopping?"

"Because I'm not doing it right." I cried. I knew something like this would happen. I'd been on a pretty good learning curve with sex. Figures that when it was something that Edward made out to be easy and natural was the one thing I couldn't do right.

Well what did he know? All he had to do was make a loose fist and move his hand up and down. Everything was more complicated for me.

"What do you mean you're not doing it right?" Edward soothed, rubbing his hands up and down my waist. "Didn't it feel good?"

"Well…yeah—But it…it isn't working."

Edward chuckled a little and I wanted to smack him for laughing at me. I glared fiercely at him instead, knowing that if it got physical, I'd loose. Not that he'd even have to hit me to win either. "It's going to take a bit of time Bella. Just be patient."

"That's not it." I argued angrily. "I—" I cut myself off, looking away, ashamed.

"What? You don't need to be embarrassed, just tell me what isn't working."

I stared at the bed sheets instead. "I have to go to the bathroom, excuse me."

I went to climb off of him but he kept me in place, his hands soft but firm at my hips. "Can I ask you a question?" he murmured. Without waiting for an answer he continued. "Do you have to urinate?"

I grimaced at him. "You are such a _guy_. I thought you grew out of that stage when you were twelve or something." I really hopped all guys weren't so obsessive about bathroom issues. It made me shudder to think that Edward was more like Mike on the inside than I had previously thought.

Edward flipped me so I was on the bottom. "Do you trust me?" He wondered, there was an excitement dancing behind his eyes that I couldn't understand. This wasn't the usual, 'I'm having sex' excitement. It was more like watching the eyes of a kid who was opening a Christmas gift, already having an idea of what he was going to open.

I searched his face for an answer but it stayed neutral, not giving anything away. "Yes." I murmured slowly, wondering if I would regret this.

He thrust inside me and my back arched, "_Yes_!" I gasped, gripping onto his shoulders, finally getting what I had been searching for. This was the way it was supposed to feel, the other heat, the wrong one that made me feel I had to pee ebbed back into nothing. He rocked our bodies together, so many different feelings attacking me at once. The feel of his skin on mine, the sounds we were making, how the bed moved beneath us, the secure scent of man, the heat and the feeling of his arms wrapped around me all making me feel safe.

Making me feel perfect and beautiful.

I had already started climbing the mountain that I was beginning to become familiar with, the one that ended in a brilliant light show. Warmth coiled inside me and the lights flashed. It wasn't nearly as spectacular as the wall episode, or on the floor before that, but it was satisfying in the way that all my muscles sang and my blood seemed to calm back comfortably.

Edward had slowed to milk the orgasm for all it was worth before starting to thrust hard and fast again. It was in this brief period of absolute calm that I had to myself that I watched Edward. It seemed impossible to me that he was mine—even if just for now—and I wondered who was really meant for him. Someone beautiful no doubt, inside and out. She would probably have beautiful long blond hair, perfectly curved body, huge kind eyes. She would be patient; she would be just as articulate as he was. She would love him as he deserved, and be able to _tell_ him when the feeling bloomed into something greater.

The best. He deserved the best.

Edward moved onto his knees, only pulling out of me for a short second before pulling just my hips to him, leaving the rest of me lying on the bed. I felt the blood start to gather in my upper body. Edward grinned down at me before re-entering. I gasped, gripping the sheets in tight fists.

He chuckled darkly, pulling out and cocking his head at me. "You still aren't used to that feeling?"

He slipped in and my body arched for him before he pulled out again. "You're stopping." I gasped "Why are you stopping?"

Edward kept one hand on my waist; the other ran through his hair in an uneasy way. "I'm coming too fast. Or I will." He admitted, taking deep slow breaths to calm himself.

"So?" I gasped, trying to calm my breaths as easy as he did. And then the last part caught my attention a little belatedly. "_Going_ to? How do you know?"

Edward looked at the bedside alarm clock, "You realize you just asked four questions in less than a minute?" When I gave him the approximate of a glare he sighed. "Because I love the way your body moves too much. Especially your breasts." He teased a nipple before pinching it. "I want to see you come with me."

My breath caught, my skin suddenly extra sensitive. More so than usual. I chocked it up to all the blood, like how when I'd hung upside down on my bed reading and felt the blood rush to my head, making my lips tingle. It was the same feeling that I got when Edward kissed me.

I reached blindly for him, trying to pull him into me. I couldn't care if he came too fast at the moment. So what if he came before me for the first time? I wouldn't hold it against him. He slid slowly into me, moving carefully at first until he found an angle that left me squirming. He sat up on his knees—the angle steeper now—and started pumping into me.

I could feel how each of his drives made my body rock, made my breasts bounce. The blood was rushing fast to my head, and I started to feel a little dizzy. The room spun around us and I knew I was going to faint. It was something Edward grasped too, and he paused to help me put a pillow under me to raise my head a little.

The room stayed still, and I didn't feel like I was going to loose consciousness, but there was still a slight dizzy feeling that gave everything a surreal effect. The intensity of the pleasure, how real everything felt grounded me in the real world. I felt like I was caught just as I was waking up, half awake, half dreaming, and I was suddenly sure this was what had happened.

It explained a lot.

I wondered if this was something of a dream, and my alarm clock was sounding somewhere outside my consciousness. If I would wake up to find that Edward was waiting to take me to his house for the weekend. If everything would go as he had originally planned it and all we would do was watch movies, talk, and maybe go out a few times. If the most physical we became was a kiss goodnight.

I was forced to peak into the leaving drawer, just for a moment. Just long enough to see that I would rather this beautiful dream and have to leave rather than never to have known Edward in this way. There had been so much I had learned about him through this. So much he had given me through this, no matter what he claimed.

My thoughts were thrown forcibly back to where we were. I screamed, my back arching. I was so close, so incredibly close I could feel it just outside my reach. And then Edward pulled out again, pumping himself with his hand, teeth clenched. And I might have laughed if I wasn't on the very edge of sanity. He had worried about coming too fast, but now he wasn't coming fast enough.

He slid back inside me hard, watching my face. The feeling of him sliding back inside, of touching all the sensitive nerves near my opening was enough to set me on the edge again. After just a few thrusts I was there.

My eyes fluttered back into my head, an explosion of pleasure that left me shaking. He started rubbing my clitoris. An intensely uncomfortable over stimulation interfered with the pleasure, and I smacked his hand away in irritation, only half there. Only after my orgasm had levelled out again did I feel the shot of heat inside me of Edward's.

He pulled out and fell beside me on the pillows. I wiggled against him, leaning my head on his chest. I listened to the frantic pull of air into his lungs, and his just as frantic heart beat that dragged mine along with it though my body was calmer than his.

I kissed his chest and tasted the light sheen of sweat that made his skin glow. "Sorry you couldn't get the timing right." I murmured, smiling a little. It was funny now that I wasn't teetering over the edge, impatient to fly. The electricity skittering across my nerves was winding down. I breathed a sigh to relief.

Edward scoffed, "My timing was perfect. I blame your super sensitive skin. I just moved a _tiny_ bit and you started screaming." Edward shot me an accusing look. "I bet I could have gotten you to come again with me if you hadn't pushed my hand away." He muttered.

I shook my head. "I don't think so."

He sighed, "Oh well, I guess I'll just have to make you orgasm again and again until I get it right." he said in a 'oh woes me' voice.

I peeked at his expression, he kept the face that matched his voice—eyes huge, lip pouted out—for barely a second before the grin I could see him hiding underneath it broke through. He flashed all his teeth, smile reaching from ear to ear. I laughed, "Oh, what a shame."

Edward chuckled too, holding me close to him, his cheek resting on top of my head. I closed my eyes and revelled in the moment, of just being held by him, warm and dry inside the circle of his arms while the cold rain danced across the windows.

Maybe Edward was right. Forks couldn't be that bad. Not if I could find Edward here. "Edward?" I asked quietly, half hoping he didn't hear me so we could lie like this a little while longer. He hummed in the back of his throat in answer. "Why did you move to a town like this? You traveled all over the world and had all these exciting adventures just to settle in Forks. I don't get it."

He shrugged, "I wanted to come home. I loved some of the places so much, but they weren't where I grew up, and I would have to jump on a six hour flight just to see my family. I didn't want to do that, so I came back to America. Originally I was going to start my police placement in New York or somewhere busy, somewhere _exciting_." His eyes flashed exhilaration. And the hair stood up at the back of my neck in fear. "The moment I told my parents about it though, my mother broke down. She _hates_ that I own a gun. All she wants is to know every day that I'm safe, and in her mind, that wouldn't be possible in a big busy city." He sighed, "So I ended up here."

I agreed with his mom. I couldn't imagine Edward becoming a statistic. There were a million things that could happen to him in somewhere like New York. How many police officers lost their lives in the line of duty there? Too many.

Suddenly I was very grateful to have Charlie stationed in this small drab town. Suddenly grateful to Edward's mother to have convinced him to go into the same town.

"Do you like it here?" I wondered, tracing shapes into his chest, feeling the burning skin under my finger tips.

"I found you here. So it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be." he murmured, laying down flat again, one arm folded under his head to watch the rain falling across the window. He looked a little glum though, and I knew this wasn't a place he wanted to be anymore than I did.

It was getting dark outside, the window starting to look more like a mirror. I looked at the clock and nearly jumped out of my skin. "Holy crow!" I gasped.

Edward jumped too, "What? What is it?"

"We've been in here for six hours! _They_ have been gone for six hours. What are they doing?" I sat up, looking down at him with fear. Had something happened to them? A car accident? What if the phone had been ringing down stairs, Emmett and Alice calling for help, and we hadn't heard them?

Edward calmly folded his other arm under his head and shrugged. "Alice is probably out shopping for a movie…and clothes, shoes, jewellery, anything that she can get her hands on. I wouldn't be surprised if she came home with a new blender. Emmett is with his girlfriend, neglecting his work, and honestly, probably doing the same thing we are." Edward flashed his teeth in a grin when I felt my cheeks heat a little. "You don't need to worry about them. Relax, alright?"

Edward gave me a speculative look. "Do you worry about everything? You worried about my job, about Charlie, about what the town thinks, and now about my brother and sister. Why don't you just relax?" he chuckled, "You're going to go prematurely grey."

I made a face at him. I wasn't raised to go with the flow. If I did the bills wouldn't get paid, there would be no food in the refrigerator, and Renee would have lost all her clothes to the dry cleaners. "It's my thing." I muttered, lying back down on his chest.

Edward was silent for a moment, and then, "Would you worry less if I distracted you?"

"Depends on how you intend to distract me."

"Would you like to experiment again? On me." I sat up instantly, and Edward laughed, "Thought so."

I smiled hugely, and kissed him. I'd meant it to be a quick peck on the lips, but his hand grabbed the back of my neck, pulling me back down for a longer, deeper kiss. I moaned into his mouth, tangling a hand into his hair, the other was beside his head to support me so I didn't—literally—fall for him.

Edward's free hand soothed down my ribs, across my waist and over my hips until he came to the sensitive skin of my ass. And then he squeezed.

I squealed into his mouth. Edward let go of my lips, laughing loudly, one hand thrown over his eyes. "Bella, I'm sorry but that's just too much fun." he chuckled.

I scowled at him, sticking my tongue out. He hummed in the back of his throat, green eyes darkening and I imagined him thinking of what I could be doing with said tongue. I blushed and turned around in the same position I had been in the last time I experimented with him.

I was just about to start with the little area above his belly button, tickle him a little in retaliation for his little grab before. I was backed up far enough to comfortably suck on his stomach, but that also put me up far enough to leave my legs on either side of Edward's head. Before I could start, before I could even lower my head; I heard Edward murmur something that had my heart racing in terror, had all my muscles going weak though I knew it was the same energy that kicked my fight or flight response into gear.

"Psych."

He grabbed my hips and pull down sharply, knocking my suddenly weak knees out with his elbows, subsequently eliminating all forms of support. What Edward was left with was my womanhood hovering so close to his mouth that I felt his breath shudder over my skin in a chuckle. "It worked." he murmured with the tiniest bit of disbelief.

I scowled and went to bring my legs back up. Edward's hands tightened and kept me where I was. I couldn't even swing them around to get any kind of momentum going, my bones wouldn't let me bend like that for one, and all the wonderful muscle in my legs wasn't designed to move like this. I was stuck and by the victory tune Edward was humming under his breath, he knew it too.

I resigned myself to laying flat on his abdomen, hands folded under my chin until I could figure out what he wanted. Was this another attempt at procrastination? I didn't understand what was wrong with his recovery time. He treated it like a weakness, like if he wasn't up and ready at every moment he wasn't as much as a man. And he thought _I_ was over sensitive about my body. Or maybe this was a trap, him trying to bargain something with me.

As I tried to figure out what he would want to trade, what he could want. The better question actually was what was _wrong_ with him. I was offering him free pleasure in the name of discovery and he was treating it like I was propositioning him to an incredibly painful tattoo.

"Do you have a problem with my exploring?" I wondered agitatedly, half scared that he would say yes at the same time. That wasn't very fair, I was just learning all of this, and I'd bet that the women who had done this for him before had had a lot more experience. And I had thought I was pretty good, for a beginner at least.

He chuckled again, sliding a finger inside me, moving it around in a semi-circle, concentrating on the half of me with all the sensitive nerve endings. My toes curled, and—to my great embarrassment—cracked, brining his attention to them. He laughed darkly, curling his finger. "I love your exploring." he assured me while I quivered above him, shaking to the dancing of my nerve endings.

Over the desperate gasping of my breath, I managed to hear Edward's sigh of longing. "If we were closer to the same height, we would be able to do this for each other mutually. Without all the bargaining."

I snorted, about to make a sarcastic remark. All the bargaining had been on my side since, apparently, Edward's forte was trickery. Before I could say anything, both of Edward's hands went to my hips and pulled me down on his mouth.

For a moment, the intensity of the sudden pleasure danced across the border of pain. The edge of discomfort faded quickly though. The flesh of Edward's mouth was so soft, and so _hot _I couldn't help but succumb to the feeling.

My breathes were coming out in short, shallow pants. He replaced his finger inside me, tonguing the sensitive bundle of nerves just above. His finger curled and the wrong warmth started to build again. The wrong and the _right_ warmth since it was Edward touching me, both of which were building too fast.

I realized why the building warmth was wrong.

I don't think he understood. I couldn't build the warmth that exploded into a brilliant light, exploding into colours off the crystals in my mind where every thing suddenly froze but for the beauty of that moment. Maybe Edward honestly _didn't_ understand. I was having trouble understanding it myself, but I could _feel_ the strangeness of it. Could know that either way, something was wrong with me.

There was also the other half that liked this. This felt so amazing that I couldn't understand why it was wrong, was having trouble distinguishing one warmth from the other. Even better was Edward seemed to know exactly what to do with his tongue. Things that I wanted him to do but couldn't seem to articulate.

It took me a moment to figure out how he could suddenly read my mind. I was kissing his abdomen open mouthed so that my tongue was moving against his skin. I twirled my tongue on his skin and his own repeated the action. I very gently nipped at his skin.

Edward's teeth brushed the sensitive bundle in a teasing way before prodding at it with his tongue again. My legs were quivering, my stomach clenching deliciously. I dragged my teeth across his skin again in a light bite.

He sucked hard instead. I turned my head to the side to tell him to—quite literally—bite me. Just as my mouth left his skin though, he nipped at the sensitive flesh and, when I cried out, the sound wasn't muffled by his skin.

My fingers fisted in the sheets, high pitched mewing sounds escaping me. This was where I had stopped, where the good pleasure hit a maddening crescendo that I couldn't continue, where the wrong warmth had scared me into stopping.

Edward didn't stop. One of his hands was locked onto my hip to try and keep me from moving in the tiny range of motion my joints allowed when I was bent like this. His other hand moved from inside me to my clitoris, trading positions so that his tongue was inside me instead.

The right warmth was suddenly pulled into the wrong one, changing it. I wanted to say something, to tell him to stop so I could quickly run to the bathroom. As embarrassing as that was, the alternative was a million times worse.

My mouth formed the word, but all that came out was a wordless sob, my throat constricting so that all rational sounds choked off into unintelligible whimpers and cries.

His tongue—which had been flattened to sweep around inside me, barely brushing the incredibly sensitive bumpy patch of skin—pointed into a tip and rubbed against the spot. "Stop." I finally managed to choke too late. The heat converted itself to liquid, and I lost control of the feeling.

Edward gagged, choking. He pushing my hips up and turned his face to the side. I didn't wait to see his face or hear his reaction. The moment he wasn't holding me down I was running.

I didn't get far. Tears blurred my vision as I ran blindly for the bathroom. Too late now, but I was planning to jump from the window, to drown myself, to do anything to get away. I heard his feet hit the floor and half a second later felt his hand on my wrist.

The sudden stop jerked me around to face him. I couldn't face him, not after this. I wanted the roof to fall through on me, to shrink until I was lost in the fibres of the carpet. I collapsed at his feet, hot tears streaming down my face and across my trembling lips. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm sorry." I chanted between my hiccupping sobs.

"Bella?" Edward asked hoarsely, before clearing his throat. "Shh Bella, don't cry." He murmured softly. I felt him kneel down in front of me. I turned my head away, my hair curtaining around my face, some pieces sticking to my hot cheeks.

"I'm s-sorry." I hiccupped on a sob. "I didn't mean too. I'm so sorry."

I felt Edward stand up again and heard him grab something from his closet. When he came back, he draped a small blanket around me. I hugged the fabric closer to my body, still refusing to look at him. Instead I watched my fingers curl tightly around the old blanket. It reminded me of the small blanket I had on the edge of my bed, though this didn't look hand made.

Edward coughed and then cleared his throat again. "Don't apologize Bella, you did nothing wrong. If anything, it's my fault. I got ahead of myself and I'm sorry."

I shook my head, sniffling. Edward sighed, "Please look at me?" I didn't move for a minute before raising my head to see him. Edward had put his boxers on while he'd gone to get the blanket, and his face was extremely soft, looking like he was trying to coo a child from a hiding place. He smiled softly, tenderly, his eyes guilt ridden.

"Do you know what happened?" He murmured softly.

I ducked my head again and I heard Edward sigh. He scooped me up in his arms and carried me back to the bed, tucking me under the sheets before lying on top of them. He touched my face gently. "They should teach things like this in sex education." he murmured, his voice was still muted but I caught the edge of irritation in it. "Do you know what female ejaculation is?"

I shook my head 'no', looking up at him finally without having to be asked. He smiled a little at the gesture. "But you know what male ejaculation is?" There was a fear about his face, and I could see he thought I might say no again.

My eyes tightened, "I know what it is." I whispered, irritated that I felt the division between our ages again, clear as day and night. This was like having my math teacher explaining equations I understood to me very slowly when all I wanted was the answer.

Edward seemed to realize my agitation because he bowed his head in apology. "Sorry, I just don't know where to start. The female version is not nearly as common as the male. It happens in much the same way though, your body gets stimulated and you release. For you, it's g-spot and clitoral stimulation. The fluid comes out of your urethra, which is why it felt like it did."

I looked away, "How do you know the difference then? How do you know I didn't just…?" I choked over the word for a moment, too horrified by the idea to even say it aloud.

Edward chuckled and I looked back at him, shocked by the sound. This was _not_ a laughing matter. This was the single most embarrassing moment of my life and he was _laughing_ at me. Edward read my expression and held his hands up, a silent declaration of innocents. "I'm not laughing at you Bella, I swear. I've just had the very unfortunate experience of tasting urine. In fact that happened while I was trying to get an old girlfriend to do what you seem to be so embarrassed about. The taste in very different, because it's not made the same. It's more chemically similar to my ejaculatory fluids. But it also has a taste from your body, so it tastes sweet. Like biting into a ripe cherry."

I made a face at him, "That was a terrible joke."

Edward's lips twitched, "I thought it was pretty good. I was hoping you would laugh."

I kicked the blanket away from me and moved up against the warmth from Edward's body. "You said it's not as common as the male kind…why is that?"

Edward hesitated, "I _think_ it's because most women are in your position, lack of education and how alarming the feeling is makes most women hold back. But maybe some honestly can't. There's never been any kind of study done. What I do know, is that you are amazing, and I'm sorry I scared you. I should have explained all this before hand. I just got excited."

I nodded, resting my head on his chest. Because our bodies had been separated by the sheet, his heart wasn't keeping pace with mine. The moment I leaned my head on his chest though, a shiver moved down my spine, but no heat erupted in my abdomen.

"I have absolutely no right to ask this, but can I ask you how it feels. It has been a bit of a legend. I've heard your orgasm is supposed to last almost a full half hour….You don't have to answer if you don't want to, I was just curious." Edward's hand touched the back of my head softly.

I had been so horrified before, I hadn't been feeling for anything. I tried to relax, to look for what ever feeling he was talking about. I finally noticed a faint buzzing in my bones, like the feeling of coming _down_ from an orgasm. It was levelled out though and I felt all my muscles relaxing into it. The feeling intensified slightly, rippling through my flesh in tiny tingles.

"It kind of does, but not as…intense." I finally mumbled. I was feeling suddenly sleepy though I didn't loose consciousness. My body buzzed in a totally relaxed state, a slight buzzing of pleasure running through me with no sign of stopping anytime soon.

Edward chuckled softly, "Am I forgiven then?" I didn't reply right away and Edward pulled me tight against him. "I really am sorry. We won't do that again until you are ready. We don't have to do anything until your ready."

"I forgive you." I mumbled, cuddling against his warm body. I would hold him to that promise. The idea of letting go like that again was still terrifying, the embarrassment still there, though not as strong now that I understood.

"_If_ we do do this again, you'll have to give me a bit of warning so I don't breathe in at the same time." Edward murmured playfully. He rubbed my back.

I smiled, a surreal feeling whispering over my skin. The moment was far from perfect—there were too many insecurities on my end, and Edward was still beating himself up though his faced said differently—but this was somewhere I could stay forever. Just being held, just knowing that Edward was there. There was a blanket of security around us, founded on a shared mistake; the fabric was laced with the melody of trust and unconditional acceptance. I felt the knot's being tied, making it secure from all outer attacks on this piece of us.

My mouth moved but no sound came out.

The silent _I love you would have to be enough for now._


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

Teeny Tiny Twilight

"**And **_**this**_** is my insomnia room." **

**Edward opened the door in a grandiose gesture and my eyes widened. Edward had been giving me a tour of the house and we were both fully dressed. Edward even had his shirt on. **

**His house was amazing. Alice had painted **_**everything**_**. Every colour told a different story to me, and I could tell from the paint splatters on some of the rooms where either Emmett or Edward had tried to help her. The basement was painted in varying shades of green with a swathe of blue in curling rises and falls that blended with the green in some places. **

**Edward had explained to me that the colours were Alice's way of teasing him. "She painted the most terrifying moment of my life in the basement. Coincidentally, the basement is the most horrifying place for her in this house. It's dark and cold, and Alice swears she saw a rat. I'm still convinced it was a dust bunny."**

"**What was the most terrifying moment of your life?" I wondered, starting to see a river surrounded by a forest in the paint.**

**Edward turned his head away a little, looking at something hidden under a sheet. I could have sworn that his cheeks had darkened a little before he had turned his head away, but it was dark in the basement, and it could have been a shadow playing across his face in the weak light. **

"**My guide…you remember I told you I nearly flipped the boat in the Amazon?" Edward checked while I nodded. "Well, he wasn't too happy with me. He decided to scare me senseless so I would think twice before standing up in his boat again. Their boats are their life lines, if I had damaged it in the slightest, I might as well have condemned his family to starvation. He took me into the forest and we hiked until we reached a place that was right at the edge of the river, almost swamp like. **

"**I didn't have my translator with me, but I had picked up bits and pieces of their language. My accent was so horrible, they couldn't understand **_**me**_** but for the most part, I understood them. The guide started telling me about demons and monstrous gods that created a great snake to eat children who didn't behave. I wasn't really scared until I saw something moving in the long grass." He chuckled sheepishly, taking my hand in his warm one, pulling me along. There was an old looking pile of blankets. Baby blankets, I realized immediately.**

"**As it turns out, he was just pulling on a creeping vine that had fallen into the swamp, but at the time I thought it was an anaconda. I honestly thought he had summoned some huge twenty-tree foot snake to eat me for standing in his boat. So I ran like the moron I was."**

**Edward had started moving back up the stairs, obviously done with Alice's rendering of a dark Amazon forest, monsters and demons hiding in shadow. "He yelled something at me while I was running, but all I caught was jaguar." He laughed darkly again, and I thought I saw something move in the shadows of the basement. Goose bumps erupted up my arms. "I have **_**never**_** in my life run so fast. He should have been a track and field coach. I would have finished the one hundred metre dash in tree seconds." **

**He chuckled, but there was something about his eyes that said there was something more to the story, something much more terrifying. He didn't look inclined to continue, and I didn't push him, but the curiosity stayed through the rest of the tour.**

**I blinked now; Edward was waving his hand in front of my face, looking worried. "Are you alright? You disappeared on me for a moment there."**

**I laughed weakly, and rubbed my stomach. "What do you expect? When was the last time we ate?"**

**Edward grimaced, his stomach snarling. "Don't remind me." **

**He was rubbing his stomach absently, staring at the opposite wall with a far away expression, and I guessed he was thinking about what exactly Alice could be bringing home. I couldn't help but tease him. Just a bit. "I wonder if she will bring any desert." I grinned slyly when he shot me a dark look. "Maybe a chocolate cheese cake. Or a brownie drenched in chocolate sauce." I taunted.**

**Edward's stomach growled threateningly at me. I grinned as he gave me a very dark, very **_**hungry**_** look. He took a step towards me, "Watch yourself Bella, or **_**you**_** will be the one with a bite mark." he threatened. Dark eyes trailed down from my eyes to my blouse, the top button undone when he had **_**accidentally**_** brushed his hand across my chest opening a door. "Oops. Too late."**

**When I didn't move Edward took another step towards me, eyebrow raised. "That's usually a signal to start running." **

**Edward's hand's fluttered lightly around my waist, our bodies so close my chest was brushing his skin. I had to let my head fall back to see his dark smirk. I shrugged, "I don't see much of a point. I know you'll catch me." And the only way out of here was down foreign stairs that I didn't trust. **_**That**_** alone was a hospital trip.**

"**But it takes all the fun out of actually **_**catching**_** you if there's no chase." Despite his complaint his thumb was stroking a patch of skin under my shirt. **

**If he insisted. I spun without giving him warning and took the first step, only to be snapped back against his chest. My back thudded hollowly against him. My first reaction was to wonder if that was the chase he had been talking about, but as I turned my head, he ducked down and captured my lips. **

**Both of his hands were around me, I held them against me tighter until my skin burned with searing tingles. One of his hands moved under my shirt. My eyes snapped open, and I met Edward's hooded stare. He was gauging my reaction, seeing if I wanted to do this again yet, or if I was still tender about our last episode. **

**I smiled and then opened my mouth for him. His eyes closed and his hand cupped my breast at the same moment his tongue snaked into my mouth. His other hand slipped under the hem of my skirt, slowly going south. I whimpered into his mouth, bucking against the sudden consuming flame. The right blaze that had my skin acting like a space heater. **

**Edward's insomnia room was cold, filled with exercise equipment. There was a treadmill, a rack of dumbbells, and a bench press. There was also a door in the back of the room that looked like it lead to another room, or a closet. This room was even painted blue, and some piece of useless bit of information I had picked up reminded me that people feel asleep more easily when they were cold. **

**I couldn't find the chill of the room anymore, not when Edward's fingers were parting my lips, feeling the moisture that had built up. He smiled against my mouth before slipping two fingers inside me. His other hand fondled my breast fiercely. I cried out into his mouth. **

**Edward blissfully kissed down my neck while I fought to breath. "Where are we going to do this?" I looked doubtfully at the bench press. **

**I heard the whisper of his zipper underneath his chuckling. "Here." I rolled my eyes, obviously. Just as my lips started to form a sarcastic remark, his fingers started pumping inside me again and I arched, my cry catching in my throat. His fingers slid out of me to start rubbing my sensitive nub, while I felt him teasing my entrance, just the tip inside me. I had to force my hips to stop bucking into his hand, or I would loose him. Obviously what he wanted. Edward must practice torture in his spare time between being a super genius and—I looked at the great stack of weights—an exercise buff. **

**Every nerve in my body was wound tight, concentrated on every place he was touching me, waiting for the sweet relief of completeness. His lips kissed to my ear, agonizingly slowly. I was sure I had gone so far from sanity I was rounding the bend again, seeing where I started from. "Do you have any idea what I want to do to you?" He whispered against the sensitive skin right under my ear, rubbing furiously at my most sensitive nerves while I trembled. "I'm going to make you **_**scream**_**."**

"**Boo!"**

**Edward jumped out of his skin and I screamed bloody murder. "Jesus fucking Christ." Edward yelled. Above the frantic pounding of my heart in my ears I managed to hear Edward's zipper come up, sharp and staccato compared to how it had sounded going down.**

**Emmett grinned at us. "Gotcha."**

**I had a shaking hand over my heart, right where Edward's hand had been under my shirt. I was going to explode; there was too much pent-up energy from Edward's teasing coupled with the sudden adrenaline rush. All my muscles were wound as tight as my nerves were now, and I couldn't even move—frozen to a state of sub-zero, and yet fearing combustion.**

**Edward, on the other hand, couldn't seem to stop moving. He paced twice across the room, running his hand through his hair in vicious agitated movements coupled with an uninterrupted string of curses. He turned suddenly on Emmett, stalking towards him with murder in his eyes. **

**He stopped with his face just inches away from Emmett who had his lips pursed, trying desperately not to laugh at him. The string of curses stopped for a moment while Edward glared, and then he snapped one more before slamming the door in his face.**

**Emmett exploded into laughter on the other side of the door. **

**Edward turned around and seemed to realize I was still frozen. The anger faded, his expression becoming concerned. "Are you alright?" he shoved his hands into his pocket.**

**I took a long breath, and then grinned wearily. "Recovering from a heart attack, but other then that, I'm…good." I sighed. I guess our alone time had expired. The thought left me feeling cheated, though I knew I had been more than spoiled with all the time we had been given.**

**Edward sighed too, and then the door opened. Instead of seeing Emmett coming in to test Edward's patience a little more, it was Alice that danced in, so heartbreakingly graceful she might as well have been walking an inch off the floor. She smiled happily at us, and Edward grinned back, his smiled looking just as haggard as mine. "Did you bring food?" Edward's stomach growled.**

**Alice's smile wavered, "Talk to Emmett about that. But I bought a movie for tonight, and I finished Bella's analysis. I had Jasper look it over too, and he agrees with my notes." Alice smiled a huge smile, bigger than before. Infectiously, I grinned with her.**

**Edward cupped his hands to his mouth and breathed out loudly, recreating the thunderous applause of a crowd for Alice who curtsied in a move that looked on edge of turning into a pirouette. And then Edward's grin turned wearied and he quickly replaced his hand in his pocket. "Is there a really good reason as to why I need to ask Emmett about food?"**

**Emmett, who had still been standing in the door way, turned suddenly towards the stairs. "Oh, what's that? Coming!" He called down silent stairs. He thundered down the stairs two at a time. Alice and Edward looked after him. Neither one looked surprised.**

**I giggled, and walked up beside him on shaky legs. All my insides had liquefied into heat and I burned for him, insane with lust. It wasn't something I could really quench with Alice standing right here. I stopped, standing beside him, and shyly brushing my fingers across his.**

**Edward looked from the stairs to me, his eyes melting. He twined our fingers together and brought my hand up to his lips, kissing my fingers softly. My hand tingled with warmth, my cheeks heating though none of the heat from my abdomen diminished. Edward smiled at me, and I noticed he didn't take his other hand out of his pocket. **

**Alice rolled her eyes at us, and then started to explain. "When I went to talk to Jasper, I made the mistake of leaving the food in the car with Emmett. He ate it all by the time I came back out."**

"**That's not true!" Emmett yelled from down stairs. "Alice ate some too."**

**Alice went to the top of the stairs, "I took **_**one**_** penne noodle. **_**You**_** ate enough Italian food to feed four people!"**

**My mouth watered at the mention of food, one hand moving over my empty stomach. What made the hunger worse was the emptiness was doubled. A need for food, a need for Edward….I was empty from my ribcage down. **

**Alice made a face at the foot of the stairs, and then sighed, turning back to us. "So I see you two made it out of bed. What were you guys doing before we interrupted?" She wondered.**

**I flushed furiously and Edward quickly pulled my head into him so I wouldn't give us away. While pressed into him, I felt his want bulging through his jeans into me, and realized why he'd had his hand in his pocket before. The revelation did nothing to diminish the easy flow of blood to my face.**

"**I was showing her around the house." Edward lied smoothly, "She's impressed with your painting. Especially in the basement." His tone turned a little sour at that last part. Alice lifted her nose a little at him, and I saw that this had been an argument between them. **

**Alice laughed and I peeked to see if she had believed him. I almost did. She took one look at my face and grinned knowingly. "Did he tell you the story behind it?"**

**I hesitated a moment. He'd **_**substituted **_**a story, "Yeah, he told me about how he thought he was being chased by all manor of monster in the Amazon." I joked, but I watched Alice's face closely.**

**Alice's expression was at first mild impressment and then turned shrewd as she realized that what I was actually doing was silently asking for her to tell me the real story. Then her expression turned to innocent confusion. "But that wasn't what I painted." I felt Edward stiffen. "It was what happened **_**afterward**_**. Edward's guide had taken him down a path he hadn't been before, and he got lost when he ran away. I was in Paris when Edward called me in tears. He was lost in the Amazon at night with all these stories in his head. He was sure he was going to die. I stayed on the phone with him for six hours, just talking him through it before someone finally found him. He's lucky too; I don't think many would risk the Amazon at night to find a stranger."**

**Alice's face looked calm, but there was something in the way she looked at Edward that made me think that it wasn't just the most terrifying moment of Edward's life. It was Alice's too.**

**I looked up at Edward to see that he was looking across the room—not meeting my eyes—with a bored expression on his face. There was a defensiveness about him that pulled at my heart. I couldn't imagine what it would have felt like, sixteen—or would he be seventeen by then?—lost in the middle of the Amazon, lost, scared, lonely. All the buzzing of bugs and the skittering noises of animals running through the darkness. How had he not gotten right on a plane once he been found and fly home? How had he braved the Amazon in the first place? Or even all the foreign villages that he had spoken of. Being lost in the middle of a strange language with strange people and even stranger surroundings. Alone. **

**We stayed in an awkward silence for a moment before Alice turned towards the silent staircase, "What was that? Coming!" She cried to no one and ran down the stairs the same way Emmett had gone. **

**I squeezed Edward's hand, still engaged with mine, and with my other hand smoothed up his arm until I reached his shoulder. As I moved up his skin, the tense muscles relaxed. "Edward?"**

**Edward finally looked at me, smiling politely though his eyes were distant…aloof. "Would you like to see the rest of the house? Or the room I guess since we've finished out tour." He turned away without an answer and something in my chest broke. Not my heart, that was still full—painfully so—with love for this amazing man. It felt more like my pericardium, all the flesh that kept my heart and lungs right where they were was coming apart. **

**I was having trouble understanding where this sudden mood came from. I could understand how there might still be echoes of fear—that wasn't the kind of memory you just walked away from—and maybe he was even annoyed with me for bringing it up when he hadn't wanted me to know. **

**Edward had been spoiling me with his constant patience and instant forgiveness, and it was because of it that this sudden disinterest bothered me so much. He was acting more like Charlie than Edward. **

**He opened the door at the end of the room, keeping his eyes over my head, concentrated on the oposite wall instead of the suddenly small person who was nearly running to keep up with him. **

**Edward stepped into the room, and—without even checking my surroundings—I threw myself at him, wrapping my arms around his waist and burring my face into his shirt, a cowardly way to escape seeing his reaction. Edward hesitated a moment, and then his arms were tight around me too. **

**I wound my arms tighter around him. "I'm sorry." I whispered. **

**One of Edward's hands tangled into my hair and held my face close against him. Edward sighed "I have no right to…I'm sorry. It isn't something I enjoy talking about. It was the weakest moments of my life." he shook his head, "It was…horrible. I had managed to slice my arm open, and all I could think…was what kind of creatures would a wound like that attract. And not just the big ones like cats and lizards, but the small ones. Bugs. Infection. All I could think was that even if they did find me before a hunter did, maybe it would be too late." I tried to wrap my head around that. He wasn't annoyed with me, he was **_**embarrassed**_** about sounding weak. Men were stupid creatures.**

**Edward snorted suddenly, "When I got back to the village, they put maggots into my arm anyways." At my horrified look he shrugged, "They don't have the most modern technology there, and the maggots saved my life better than most hospitals could. They ate all the dead skin, kept the flesh from getting infected, and it healed nicely too, you can hardly even see the scar." he showed me his arm and I saw a faint silvery line, staring at just above his wrist to the inside of his elbows. **

**His eyes darkened a little, "Despite that, I **_**loath**_** flies. Anything that lays wiggly white larvae dies in this house." He took a long deep breath and then smiled. My eyes were still wide with horror. "Don't worry about it Bella. I'm sure it's something that will always haunt my worst imaginings, but I'm not held by it. I can go into the woods alone; I don't pour alcohol all over myself if I get a cut anymore." He leaned down and kissed me tenderly. I kissed him back just as softly and he groaned quietly into my mouth.**

**I pulled away confused. He straightened again, running an agitated hand through his hair, "This isn't really helping with getting rid of your friend here." He muttered, and my eyes flickered down to the bulge in his jeans again.**

**I grinned, palming him through his jeans, "If you like we can pick up where we left off. I mean…they're down stairs, right?"**

**Edward groaned again—louder—and grabbed my wrist, stopping me. "You're **_**not**_** helping Bella. In fact your doing the exact opposite." He bent to my level again, his eyes very serious. "You, Miss Isabella Swan, are driving me insane."**

**I thought about that, and then grinned proudly. "Really?"**

**He rolled his eyes, and then gestured around the room I hadn't even looked at before. "And this is the second part of my insomnia room. It's nothing exciting, but sometimes I just need to think." **

**My jaw dropped in awe as I looked around the tiny circular room that was filled with self after shelf of books. Old books that had yellowed pages and leather bindings and newer books that had shiny laminated coatings with bright white even pages. "You…have a library. In your house." I said slowly, still looking around the room.**

**Edward looked embarrassed, his hand rubbing the back of his neck like he wished he had something else to show me. "Well…yeah. Pretty much."**

**I jumped him. He gasped and caught me, stumbling back against the wall, his green eyes wide in shock as I wrapped my legs around his waist. "You have a **_**library**_**." I whispered, the heat boiling inside me until I could feel it in my blood and under my skin. **

**Edward chuckled breathless from the suddenness of my attack. "I didn't know you liked books this much."**

**I fisted my hands in his collar, brining my face close to his. "I want you. Right here." I kissed him fiercely and he groaned, grabbing my hips and grinding my heat against the rough material of his jeans. I mewed into his mouth, gripping him tighter against me. Sparks went off behind my eyes. **

**Edward zipper went down again, skipping the teasing. He had learned his lesson last time. Moving my underwear aside, he sank into me and my breath caught as brilliant array of colour that didn't quite sing relief, but hallelujah just the same dance before my eyes. "And now I'm conflicted." Edward whispered against my lips. "Part of me wants to drill you through the wall, the other wants to make sweet gentle love with you." he kissed me softly while my body trembled around him. **

**I rocked on him, trying to quench the burn with sweet friction. "Either. Both. Hard, I want…." I swallowed thickly and he grabbed my hips and lifted me slowly just to slam me back down. I had enough mind to nearly bite my tongue off to keep from screaming. **

**The door to the library opened a little. "Hey, Edward," Emmett called and in a heart beat Edward was gone from me, dropping me back to the floor on unsteady legs and pulling his zipper up. "Alice wants you down—"**

**Edward threw an elbow into Emmett's chest, and then, while he was in shock, threw him up against a book case, his teeth bared. "I am fucking occupied,**__**and you are **_**interrupting.**_**" his hissed menacingly. **

**Rationally, I felt bad for Emmett—who really should be looking more worried than he was—but another, stronger irrational part of me thrilled with this Edward. Excitement trickled through my veins.**

**Emmett slipped out of his hold in the most graceful move I had seen him execute—ever—and he had tripped over his foot doing it. He grinned, walking backwards out the door again slowly; away from a half mad Edward. "You confused your words a little," Emmett grinned. **

**I took a deep breath and hopped to the highest God that Emmett would have enough sense to not say what I thought he was going to say. "You **_**meant**_** to say you were occupied **_**fucking**_**." He grinned helpfully.**

**I sighed. Edward's eyes burned, his teeth fully bared now. "It was such a shame, they'll all say." He whispered harshly, stalking towards a brother I **_**knew**_** he adored. Half crazed and fully aroused in the most painful way, **_**he**_** was having a hard time remembering that. "He just **_**threw**_** himself through a window. On the third story no less. Such a shame."**

**The scary thing was I wasn't sure if Edward's threat was completely empty. **

**Emmett, who I saw was doing the math quickly in his head, deciding whether sheer mass alone was enough to beat lithe agility, police training, and I wouldn't be at all surprised to know Edward was involved in some kind of mixed martial arts. Apparently not. He spun on his heal and ran from the room. "**_**AAALLIICCEEEE!**_**" I heard him wail as he retreated.**

**I stumbled out of the room. I was aching with so much need it was hard not to just jump Edward where he stood. Who cared if Alice and Emmett saw? If it really bugged them that much, they would leave the room. Edward said his family was open…**

**There was the sound of a scuffle in the hall and I muscled my way past the lust induced paralysis to see what had happened. As it turns out, Emmett doesn't run well from fights. I guess half way through his retreat he rethought his chances with Edward. He had him pinned against a wall. **

**It was very still. Edward was taking deep breaths. "Alright. I'm good, I've got this." And then he smiled wearily at Emmett. "You can't try my patience when I'm hungry."**

**Emmett nodded and slowly released him, taking a step back. Emmett grinned suddenly, "There, now don't you feel better?"**

**Edward swung and his fist connected with the side of Emmett's jaw. He grinned hugely, shaking his hand out. "Much. Thank you."**

**I gasped when I caught Edward's eye, taking a step back from him. His eyes weren't half crazed anymore, but I could see something simmering under the calm ocean of green, just like I could feel something with the same burning heat inside myself. It was smouldering at my control and my sanity. It weakened my muscles and set my blood into a liquid blaze that refused to fade.**

**This was simply raw physical want and, I decided, I was a rational being. I could think around this. Edward took my hand and lead me down the stairs, skin on burning skin. I looked up to see if Edward was burning too. He caught my eye and grinned a crooked smile at me, eyes darkening with lust. I reddened and looked down, catching the movement of him putting his hand in his pocket to disguise the bulge there. **

**Alice smiled brightly at us when she saw Edward wasn't still acting cool, his hand clasped securely in mine with a happy smile on his face. Alice looked down almost self-consciously, looking a paper over in her hands. The paper was thick, like a legal note, and it looked like she printed the document in Vivaldi font, a beautiful script that looked on edge of always turning into handwriting. I realized after a moment, that it was her **_**own**_** penmanship on that paper. **

**When Alice looked up again, she locked eyes with Edward, and she made an odd expression I didn't understand. She raised one eyebrow and cocked her head to the side a little. Edward paused, and I saw him throw her back a just as foreign expression that made me think of a half defiant question. Alice's eyes narrowed a little and Edward gave a quietly resigned sigh before turning to me. "Why don't you grab Emmett some ice? I'm pretty sure it's on the door of the freezer."**

**I looked between them, Alice looked innocently unawares and Edward was smiling just as politely at me. "Oh, yeah. Sure….ice." I mumbled and turned away, realizing when I wasn't wanted. **

**Edward wasn't **_**mine**_**. I didn't own rights to his time or a deed to his presence. **

**I had hardly taken a full three steps when Edward called my name. I only half turned to see if he was going to give me further instructions that would make me take longer getting back. He grabbed my hand and pulled me back to him. I stared at him for a moment before he leaned down and captured my lips in a scorching kiss that made the fires under my skin roar with excitement. When he pulled away he touched his nose to mine, cupping my cheeks. "I love you." he whispered. I smiled back at him and turned my head to kiss his palm before skipping off to the freezer, forgetting why I had been dejected just a moment before. **

**I hadn't really been paying attention to Emmett after Edward had hooked him other then he was rubbing his jaw with a sour expression. When I came up stairs he was sitting unhappily in the hall, examining the carpet fibres, his eyebrows drawn together looking deep in a melancholic thought. I tripped on the top step and fell forward onto my elbows, saving the ice. **

**At the sound of my dignified entrance Emmett looked up and grinned. "Oh, it's you."**

"**Like it could have been anyone else." I muttered examining the carpet burns on my elbows and then sighed and went over to sit beside him. I handed him a dishcloth filled with ice. He took it wordlessly. While he pressed it against his jaw, I took inventory of my other battle wounds. The bruises on my abdomen were starting to shadow and I sighed, knowing they would be good and dark by the time I woke-up tomorrow. I hoped that they would stay light enough for the rest of the night for Edward to pass over unknowingly.**

**Emmett was looking at the carpet again, looking lost in thought again. "Hey," I murmured, bumping my shoulder against his. He grinned at me again, and now that I was really paying attention, the smile seemed…empty. Not forced or one of those emotionless automatic smiles that I hadn't mastered yet. This smile was like watching the sun glitter off a deep lake with no shadows, only to find underneath it was barren of life. "You okay?" I wondered quietly, "Edward didn't mean it, he's just…." Why was I explaining what Edward was like to his **_**brother**_**? Suddenly I realized it wasn't **_**Edward **_**that had Emmett upset.**

**Emmett grinned and ruffled my hair, "Nothing you need to worry about Chicklet."**

**I took a bold leap of courage and leaned my head hesitantly against his shoulder. I probably wouldn't have if it had been anyone else, but Emmett was…Emmett. He was **_**terrifying**_** when you saw him for the first time, but after that, he was like that big brother that you could go to for anything. I didn't know him well at all, but what I got from him already was that he stuck by you through thick and thin. Definitely someone you wanted to be on your side. Especially as muscle.**

**Emmett wrapped an arm around my shoulders and squeezed me tight for a moment before dropping his arm again. "My girlfriend is pissed at me." He muttered, "I guess that means the couch is going to be made for me when I get home."**

**I frowned, speaking automatically. "Why is she angry?" And then I stumbled over myself, "I mean if it's not personal. You don't need to feel…I'm just…sorry." I mumbled.**

**Emmett laughed, and the sound echoed down the hall and off the walls. I smiled a little sheepishly and he ruffled my hair again, taking the ice pack off his jaw before opening and closing it once. "My face is numb." He muttered, starting to make weird faces to test the feeling. **

**I pursed my lips to keep from laughing at him. He shrugged, "Naw, it's not personal; I just forgot Rose had her day off today. It's not like she had anything special planned, but after hearing her scream at me for twenty minutes straight, and then storming out, I kind of feel like a jerk for forgetting." He shook his head, "The stupid thing is, she probably went to the garage to work on her car anyways. So much for a day off." **

**Emmett moved the ice pack onto his hand to start the numbing process all over again, more for fun now I thought. "It's just been distracting having Edward dancing around like a giddy school girl to have you over." He grinned at me, a real happy smile that I couldn't help but smile back at, "I didn't think I would like you. I've heard your name about seven-thousand times over the past week alone. It's been **_**Bella this**_** and **_**Bella that**_** non-stop." And then he squeezed my shoulders again, "But you're not that bad. All I have to do is tape Edward's mouth shut and maybe I'll be able to stand having you hang out here more often. Then again, Edward might just start painting your name in big red letters across all the walls."**

**I sighed, "I **_**guess**_** I don't mind hanging out with you either." I grinned, brightly at him. "I might need to tape your mouth shut too though if the comments on our love life don't get toned down." Emmett raised an eyebrow at me and I ducked my head. "Just a bit?"**

"**No can do. It's an initiation of sorts." He looked around, "Where **_**is**_** Edward. I half expected to find that he fused himself to your hip. Or maybe another body part, but I won't get into the nitty-gritty details." **

**I sighed sadly, remembering why I felt like I was being kept out before. It was like looking at the club houses the boys in school used to have that said **_**no girls allowed**_**, except this one should have said **_**only twins allowed**_**. I guess I needed to have shared the womb with them to get into that club. "They are both down stairs discussing the corrupted inner workings of my mind." I mumbled, a little sour.**

**Emmett gave me an odd look. "Then why are you up here?"**

**I shrugged, "They kicked me out. Apparently the contents of my head are top secret." Or maybe Alice was explaining to him that I was boarder line obsessive compulsive with the extra treat of multiple personality disorder that hinted at a psychotic breakdown. I wonder if Edward would be surprised, or maybe our next date would consist of a straight jacket and a well insulated room.**

**Emmett stood up, stretching with a conspiratorial grin on his face. "Then let's go down to see what they think."**

**I hesitated, "I don't think—"**

**Emmett snorted and rolled his eyes, "They're talking about **_**you**_**, right? So why can't you know what's going on?"**

**I shrugged uncomfortably, "I guess…"**

**Emmett grinned hugely, "I knew I liked you for a reason." He grabbed my wrist and we snuck down the stairs. Well, **_**I**_** snuck, Emmett slid down the banister slowly, the cloth from his jeans whispering against the polished wood. **

**The closer we came to the bottom of the stairs, the better I could hear Edward's recognizable voice, and after a few more steps, I could hear Alice's voice too. My heart pounded in my ears, and it crossed my mind to cowardly go back upstairs and pretend it didn't bother me to be left out of the loop.**

**And then I sniffed finally feeling anger kicking in to hide my hurt. Maybe Emmett was right, they were talking about **_**me.**_** And if that was the case, why didn't I have the right to know what was being said?**

**The stairs were open to the living room, but the chairs were turned away, facing towards the door where the TV was mounted on the wall. That was probably how I missed it when we had first walked in. All I could see was the back of Edward's head and the top of Alice's. **

**Emmett went to jump off the end of the banister before it hit the bulb of wood at the end, but his foot caught the stair and he toppled forward, executing a flip that put my latest entrance to shame before landing on his back in probably the loudest sound he could possibly make. **

**Edward and Alice both turned to watch us. We were caught and I felt my blood rushing to my face, my mouth opened once and then shut. "Hi." I squeaked.**

**Too add to the confusion, Emmett put both his hands in the air, "It's not what it looks like."**

**Edward pursed his lips, his eyes laughing at me while Alice's eyes glowed with interest. "Hey, where are you two off too?" It was her way of telling us we still weren't invited without actually saying it.**

**Emmett laughed from the floor, "I was going to show her all our pack-rat-ish ways, but she tripped me on the way down." My head snapped down with wide eyes. I hadn't even been **_**near**_** him when he hit the stairs. He grinned up at me from the floor. **

**I sighed, and went to step off the stairs. Emmett's hand shot forward and grabbed my ankle. I gasped, and for a moment, I started tipping forward. I spun my arms, desperately trying to regain my balance, and ended up falling backwards on my bottom instead. "Oh."**

**Edward howled with laughter while Alice sighed, shaking her head in mock disappointment at us. "Don't kill her Emmett."**

**Emmett was standing with me, while Edward was just starting to get his laughter under control. I turned on my heel and stomped out of the room, done with being the center of every one of Edward's jokes. Emmett had fallen too, but **_**I**_** was the one who got the laugh riot. I almost stomped right into the dark hallway, but a too big hand grabbed my forearm and pulled me behind the lip of the door way.**

**Emmett brought his finger to his lips and winked. I sighed but didn't make a sound otherwise. I heard Edward sigh too, the sound much sadder than his laughing just moments before. "I don't know Alice." Edward murmured, picking back up a conversation we had interrupted before. "I don't think I'd change anything about her. She so beautiful, and surprising. She's so **_**intelligent**_** too, not just smart…I don't know how to describe it right, but she just **_**sees**_**."**

**Alice laughed, "I've noticed. She's good at reading people, and I think that it's probably because she empathises with people so easy." Alice laughed quietly, "When I showed all the notes to Jasper the first thing he said was that she'll bawl in the first sappy move you show her. Bella isn't the kind of person to really **_**judge **_**either. She keeps a neutral ideal on almost everyone, even people she doesn't like. But if she **_**does**_** like you, you immediately move to her first priority."**

"**So I've noticed." Edward murmured sourly, and I imagined him thinking of our only real argument. My heart clenched painfully. "I've changed my mind. I would change her. Just a little. Less **_**defiant**_**."**

**Alice snorted, "Edward, you are so full of it. That's probably why you love her so much anyways, because she **_**doesn't**_** bow to what you want. Besides, the human mind initially agrees with everything and then contemplates it further, so Bella agreed, and then **_**thought**_** about why you were wrong." Alice seemed to understand where Edward's mind was too, and I grinned weakly, almost happy to have someone on a side I didn't want to stand on.**

**Edward growled something under his breath in a way that almost sounded petulant. Alice ignored him, "The word analysis this morning was pretty interesting too." This morning in the kitchen when the words had been flung at me with hardly a pause to breath came back to me. "She stated physical attributes **_**last**_**, what she thought about first looking at you was who you were. Which is odd since most people judge someone first on the physical and usually based on that, decide who you are as a person. Her analysis showed someone who had spent **_**years**_** with you, rather than a month and a half. That's the kind of analysis that turns up between married couple celebrating their silver anniversary."**

**Edward was silent for a moment, and I caught Emmett looking confused at me, and then his face cleared, "You stalked him, didn't you?"**

**I ignored him, listening to Edward, "I don't understand what that means. I haven't known her for that long, and other than today I've never even spent a full day with her." I didn't hear anything from Alice, but Edward spoke again, sounding aggravated, "Oh, that's helpful."**

"**Well I don't **_**know**_** Edward," Alice said back with just as much irritation as he had, "I haven't taken too many classes on freaky shit." There was a thoughtful pause and then, "Maybe she's your soul mate. Or you knew her in a past life."**

"**Or she stalked him." Emmett added under his breath and I elbowed him to make him stop talking. It made me a little sad to see that I did have a distinguishable mental trait that separated me from the rest of the population. Did Renee think like this? Not likely, the first thing she did when she came home from a date was gush about how cute he was, or how his clothes looked. Renee was so easily distracted though, and good looking men were drawn to someone as exciting as she was, never living the same day twice.**

**Edward hummed under his breath, "Maybe. It's something to consider, but maybe she is just…unique."—I grimaced—"I mean, she was reciting Shakespeare in her sleep. **_**A Midsummer's Night Dream**_**, she was reciting the piece about the love juice and waking up to fall in love with the first person they laid eyes on. She made the connection between sex and the love potion and we never even **_**talked**_** about Shakespeare."**

**Edward sounded so proud that Emmett even mimed awarding me with some kind of prestigious medal. Maybe it was a mistake to have let Emmet talk me into this…but in all honestly, I needed the emotional support to place myself somewhere I knew I wasn't wanted. I had always been a coward, and I didn't expect that to change any time soon. I shook his hand, taking the imagined award with a big phoney grin.**

"**So what else?" Edward asked, his voice sounding scarily like Renee's when we had gone shopping for my winter clothes for Forks.**

**There was a startled pause, "What else is there? Edward, I've only known her for a **_**day**_**. Not even that long since you've been hiding her away for most of the time."**

"**Please? Can't you even make a guess on something? Like why isn't she more confident? What are her very **_**best**_** and worst traits? What does she think when she's with me?" **

**Alice hesitated, "I don't think I can answer a lot of those, but I have a **_**guess**_** as to why she is shy—**_**a guess**_**. I don't actually **_**know**_**—and I think it's because…well you said it your self. She's unique, different so that she doesn't really fit in with the majority of people her own age. It's just who she is. I don't really understand, because personally, I would love to have a friend like her. She's fun, mature, and self sacrificing to really…**_**sad**_** measures. She is the farthest thing from vain, a good empathetic listener, and kind." There was a long bout of silence that was loaded with something I hoped desperately Edward's could only taste, and wouldn't understand. **

**The complements had be blushing, and I felt extremely guilty for listening in. Going to do what we were **_**supposed**_** to be doing, looking around at Edward's physical past was something that I really wanted to do now.**

**Edward finally broke the silence with a whisper I strained to hear. "I would have found her, Alice. Whether it was in Charlie's house, or the supermarket, or just on the street, I would have found her. The idea that I…that I might never have met her is the most terrifying thing I can imagine. It horrifies me to no end that I might have refused Charlie's offer that first night. I nearly did."**

**I heard the couch gave out a deep breath of air, and I wondered if Alice had moved to consol him. I nearly had to grip the wall to keep from walking out to him and telling him that it terrified me too, in the most selfish ways. Because one day—this I was absolutely positive of, because nothing less was acceptable to me—Edward would find some gorgeous supermodel type woman whom he wouldn't **_**have**_** to look for the beauty in. It would be right there for the whole world to see and appreciate. She would be brilliant and be able to satisfy his lust for knowledge. They would talk right into their golden years about deep, real things, and…and I could feel my heart breaking in my chest.**

**No, not quite breaking. It was like everything that held the vital organs in my body were shaking loose. I felt the flesh shredding though the pain was momentarily belated. **

**Yes, more like that.**

**It was with dismay that I realized the drawer that had been secreting this raw knowledge had been slowly shimming loose. I slammed it back shut, threw a dead bolt or two on it, and—just for good measure—screwed the drawer shut. **

**My subconscious could bite me. My time was borrowed, but for the moment, it was the only time I could appreciate. I couldn't just let it go because I knew I had something unpleasant waiting for me when this was over. **

**Suddenly, I heard Alice's voice again, startlingly close. Her head peeked around the corner with a triumphant smile already in place, already knowing I was here. "Well that's a relief." She sighed, and I squealed in shock. "If you hadn't been eaves dropping, then I would know for sure I had gotten your analysis wrong." She grinned at me.**

**Edward peeked, only his eyes, the smooth expanse of his forehead, and that entrancingly dishevelled coloured hair that was showing around the corner. I already knew he was grinning as wide as Alice was, even if I couldn't see his lips, or even his cheeks.**

**And then I couldn't help but let one startled yelp of laughter go, because I **_**hadn't**_** been kicked out for not sharing the womb with the twins, but because it had all been an experiment on Alice's behalf to make sure she could pin down my personality as well as she thought she had. The most frightening thing was if she could predict my doing this…would she always know how my future would play out, based on my own reactions?**

**Edward finally stuck his whole head into the kitchen, followed by the graceful movement of his body to embrace me; sure I wasn't angry at them. And then ridiculously, I was blinking back tears. I threw my arms around Edward's waist and buried my face in his shirt, the few stinging tears that escaped melting into the fabric of his shirt. **

**Edward rubbed my back, "Bella, love, why are you crying?" I could hear beyond the soothing tones of his voice the flabbergasted bewilderment.**

"**Because you are all so **_**nice**_**." I wailed into his shirt. As the tears that I **_**knew**_** were ridiculous and unnecessary continued to form small dark wet spots on his shirt, I understood what it felt like to move from the normal boundaries of sanity into something much more mystifying. I think I might have even liked this new mystifying part of my mind if it wasn't for how strange it felt not to understand why I was crying. I guessed crying was better then going maniacal in Edward's kitchen.**

**I shook my head apologetically at my sudden tears. In this movement, I managed to catch the trained psychiatrist watching me. There was something unnerving in her neutral expression as compared to Emmett's just as shocked expression on how I felt. How Edward probably looked too.**

**I finally realized what it was.**

**She **_**didn't**_** look surprised.**


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12**

**Teeny Tiny Twilight**

Alice diagnosed my condition as dehydrated to the point of near hysterical proportions rather then just insane. She glared at Edward with her grey eyes that flashed blue and then green and blue again every time she gestured at Edward angrily. Edward stood silently to take the abuse without even the pretence of a protest.

Emmett shook his head, and I found out that Emmett was part of the medical club too, though he was a family doctor instead of an emergency room doctor like Edward, and he specialized in children. On my first impression, I would think most kids would cry when they happened upon Emmett, he was just so _big_. His ancestors could more easily been from bears than primates. The more I thought about it though, his big grin and then the way he could seem to be both childlike and adult at the same time, switching easily between them.

There was no one better for the job.

I had been more engaged in this train of thought rather than their argument, and Alice's worry on my safety, switched to Edward's. Edward finally defended himself when Alice wondered sharply about his shoulder. He promised he would clean it tomorrow, that there were so many other things that could be done with today rather then sterilize a bite wound.

Emmett started picking at Edward's collar to see it while he and Alice argued, and was soon dragged into the argument too. I learned from his mistake and stayed very silent.

I took a step back, trying to disengage myself from the sibling feud. Alice glared angrily at Edward, she was absently rolling her shoulder, her eyes worried as she tried to explain—again—all the bacteria that he could have picked up today at the public pool.

"Alice, please, I know you only have my welfare at heart, but you aren't frightening me. You and Jasper have done a wonderful job helping me past that." He grinned, "I bet you wish you hadn't now." Despite his claim that Alice pulling the bacteria card on him didn't alarm him in the least, I saw goose bumps on his arms.

Alice looked on edge of pulling her hair out. "You are such a brat when you make up your mind!" she finally just yelled at him, stomping her foot.

Edward grinned and the look was equally soft and playful, "You love me anyways."

Alice went to glare, but what came out was a wearied smile, "Only because I kicked you butt all over the womb."

Edward shrugged easily, "You've always been a bully." Alice flashed her teeth in a wide smile.

Edward handed me a tall glass of water. I didn't feel thirsty, other then a dull dryness that was so easy to ignore on my tongue that I hardly noticed it. I took it anyways so he didn't get in trouble and took a polite sip. The sip turned into a gulp, and then two, and then I was looking sadly at the bottom of my cup, watching the last drop of water glide down the smooth glass and into my cottony mouth.

Edward snickered at my desolate expression and filled my glass up again. His fingers brushed mine when he handed it back to me, and despite how innocent the touch was—just his fingers brushing over mine—my heart jumped at the sudden volt of electricity.

I looked up from his fingers, sliding across the glass—away from my fingers—to his face. A stray lock of hair falling across his forehead in a question mark shape that was punctuated by his left eye. I hadn't even realized that I was brushing it off until I felt another shock course down my arm, my spine, setting my heart at a beat that felt too natural, too perfect. My fingers hesitated for a moment at the sensation and Edward's eyes closed, leaning into my touch.

My mind was absolutely captured by the gesture, by the _feeling_. My fingers had their own agenda, tracing the outer corner of his eye, and then trailing down the side of his cheek. My thump touched the corner of his mouth and his lips parted with a soft sigh. His eyes fluttered open into a heavy lidded stare. Warmth shivered down my spine, carrying the same path as the electricity, though instead of detouring at my chest cavity, it continued down to melt in my abdomen.

He leaned down and brushed our lips gently together, barely touching. One of his hands touched my cheek before sliding into my hair, his other hand found it's place burning the skin at the small of my back. The kiss stayed lovingly tender even when a barely audible whimpering sound escaped my lips.

And then the glass I had been absently keeping my hands around fell. My eyes flew open the moment I felt the smooth glass slide from my fingers, waiting for the sound of it shattering against the floor or—if I was lucky, which was rarely the case when it came to breakables—it would only alert Edward to it's abuse with a dull thudding against the tiles.

There was no sound though. Not of the glass shattering or otherwise. The horror at dropping the glass had sent a burst of awareness through me. Taste, smell, hearing, touch, and now sight. I shivered again, and my shaking hands fisted in his shirt.

Just as the glass was starting to float out of my consciousness—"HEY!" Edward cried in a thunderous explosion of sound—It came back in with a force that nearly pulled me out of my skin.

Edward jumped back, and his figure confused me for a moment. He looked like a half bowed scarecrow with his arms upper arms levelled with his shoulders, his forearms hanging down towards the floor. And then I saw his hair matted down with small diamonds of water, realizing he was trying to put as much distance as possible between his wet hair and his mostly dry body. One such diamond ran over the dry bits of hair that peeked out from the dark dishevelled mess down his forehead between his eyes, down the straight edge of his nose. It clung to him for a moment before dripping onto the floor.

A loud burst of laughter erupted from directly beside me and I jumped again, spinning to face a grinning Emmett, the glass I could have sworn I had dropped held—now empty—in his huge fist. "I thought you two could use a little cooling down."

When I heard the tap singing quietly, I didn't turn to look like Emmett did. Instead I immediately took three steps back from him, and was rewarded by escaping Edward's rebuttal.

Alice grabbed my wrist, and we both ran out of the kitchen, hand in hand, laughing as we tried to escape what I already knew was the beginnings of a colossal water fight. She quickly ran with me behind the couch. Honestly, it was a horrible hiding place, but the hiding place wasn't the problem. We were both trying desperately not to laugh. The fact that we were supposed to be quiet made the effort even more hopeless.

I bit down on the palm of my hand while Alice leaned out for a quick peek before ducking back with me. "They're looking." She whispered, and I could hear in the strained edge of her voice she was barely keeping quiet herself.

I wanted to peek for myself, but Alice took my hand again, and I looked back at her. She was grinning, "God, Bella I wish I'd had a sister like you growing up." If Emmett was my brother, then Alice was my sister. It felt right. It should feel wrong. I squeezed her hand back and she smiled grandly, "I was talking with Jas—with my husband, and…I realized maybe I was a little too quick on my judgement. I love my brother, and I'll always want what's best for him. And after my analysis, especially working on it with Jaz, I realise that _you_ are probably the best thing for him. Edward hated this town before he met you, and he'll probably end up moving soon anyways…" She sighed, "What I mean, is that I fully support you _staying_ with us. I'll even paint you a room if you can convince him to stay with us for just a little longer." She smiled brilliantly. "I want a sister, and Edward loves you. It makes sense."

A drop of water landed on my forehead before I could answer. Or rather explain. We both looked up to see Emmett and Edward leaning over the couch. Emmett wiped his eyes in what was supposed to look like a sarcastic gesture of sappiness, but a drop of water dripped from a curl on his forehead into his eye, and he actually ended tearing up.

Edward saw, and coughed to hide his laugh. He stepped around the couch, his face soft, but his eyes had malicious intent all over them. "Can we conclude this heartfelt moment with a group hug?" He wondered, and then without an answer, jumped at me when I went to make a run for it, locking me against him.

I squealed. "Your soaked!" I cried, trying to struggle but only half heartedly. I heard Alice's cry hardly a moment later, Emmett had her crushed against his dripping front, her head dangerously close to his armpit. She strained her neck to get away from it, her nose wrinkled.

Alice finally kicked Emmett in the shin, and then ran shrieking from the room, Emmett chased after her, making monster noises deep in his chest. The limp took away from the entire scene.

Edward chuckled, dropping me, "Maybe we should change?"

"No!" Alice cried. Emmett carried her back into the room, gripping her so that both his hands were around her leg, holding her upside-down. "You have to clean your shoulder." She glared at him, her lips pursed and her arms crossed angrily across her chest. It would have been incredibly intimidating if Emmett wasn't trying to step around her trailing braids.

Edward groaned, "Alice, _please_. I have Bella now, she worries about everything for me."

I made a face at him that he pretended not to see. I wasn't that bad. Alice caught my eye, and made a zipping motion with her lips, her eyes scheming. It took me a moment to understand what she wanted to convey. "Fine." I sniffed at Edward, spinning on my heel to plop down on the soft couch. "I refuse to speak to you until you clean your shoulder. I mean, I'd probably be too busy worrying about everything anyways."

Edward was silent for a moment, and then he burst into laughter. "Bella, my _god_. You are by far the _worst_ actress I have ever seen." I turned around to see Alice with her hand over her eyes, shaking her head in mock disappointment.

Emmett looked confused, "I was convinced."

I smiled brightly at my only fan, and remained silent. Alice was slowly lowered to the ground. Edward sat down beside me on the couch, his shirt still soaked and clinging to his body. I could feel my blouse clinging to my back, and was suddenly grateful that white wasn't a common occurrence in my wardrobe. His weight depressed the cushion so I tipped towards him. I gave up and moved up against him.

"See? Now lets get changed and we'll watch a movie. I'll have plenty of time to clean my shoulder up tomorrow."

I remained silent, inspecting the way the colour changed on his shirt between the wet and dry fibres.

"Bella?"

Nothing. Edward sighed and touched my face, "I love listening to you talk Bella. You always have a unique way of looking at things, not to mention that the silent treatment is a childish response to something you don't like. Mature people discuss things rationally with each other to consider other points of view. Besides the fact that you aren't even angry with me." He grinned, but as I stayed silent, considering the shirt, his smile started to fade. "Are you?"

Nothing. I had to hand it to Alice. Edward was wonderful at mind games, and left to imagine what was going on in my head to plot his next move, he was driving himself insane.

"Fine," he growled, flicking the TV on, "I didn't want to talk to you anyways." He started flipping through the channels too fast to actually be looking for anything. I watched the strobe lights going off on the screen. Black, cooking channel, black, sports, black, laugh track with two people staring dumb founded at each other, black, soap opera with all the dreamy colourings in the background and the too serious faces, black. It took me a moment after a new channel didn't show up to see that he had flicked the TV off again.

I looked up to see him giving me an agitated look his eyes too severe on my face. "Speak." He demanded.

"Woof."

Edward pursed his lips unhappily at me his brows furrowing as he stared at me with a deep concentration. I leaned away from the intensity, shivering. I was suddenly deeply aware of my clothes, how my breasts felt too tight, skin stretched to the point of bursting.

Edward saw the goose bumps on my arm, and suddenly the look changed from irate to amused, and his lips were pursed to keep from laughing. He leaned forward until his forehead was resting on mine, "I love you," He whispered, his breath hot on my burning lips, "Even when you can't see how perfect my logic is." He brushed his lips against mine as he spoke. "What if we come to a compromise? My shoulder will be cleaned and you and I will change our clothes up stairs after?" My eyes narrowed. "You have to speak during negotiations Bella."

I nodded, my thoughts melting at the sweetness of his breath, of his lips just touching mine. I wasn't paying attention to how he had worded the compromise. "Sounds fair." I agreed, hardly trusting my voice to speak anymore.

Edward flashed me a grin and then took my hand in his, pulling me to my feet and leading me past Emmett and Alice. He had her so her shoulders were on the floor, but he still held her feet, teasing her. She winked one eye closed, and her tongue poked out of the corner of her mouth, aiming with her free foot.

Edward went straight to the cupboard, taking out a tall bottle of clear alcohol. I caught the label as he was grabbing a cloth and a shot glass. It was pure vodka. Behind us I heard a baritone cry of surprise, followed by a light thump. Alice skipped freely into the kitchen. Emmett was following with an expression I had only seen on clowns and Basset Hounds. He had a red mark on his forehead.

Edward placed all the cleaning necessities on the table and sat down in front of them, pulled his shirt off, letting it slap, sodden against the tiles. Emmett's expression immediately brightened. "Oh, I want to do the next part!" He cried, jumping forward.

Edward looked confused for a moment, and then Emmett grabbed the edge of the bandage. "No, Emmett wait a sec—" I winced, quickly throwing my hands over my eyes. The sound of the adhesive being ripped from flesh sent a shudder down my back.

I peeked through my fingers at Edward. He took a long deep breath and closed his eyes, "Thank you Emmett." he murmured dully.

Emmett flashed him a toothy grin, "Anytime."

Edward shot him a glare. Alice bounded over to take a seat across the table from Edward, looking a little longer than necessary at the bottle of alcohol and then at Edward. "You know we have alcohol swabs upstairs?"

Edward grinned ruefully, "Old habits die hard. Besides, I think those swabs are getting old. They aren't going to be strong enough." He stopped, choking on the word. I was sure the sentence was meant to be longer than that, but he didn't continue. He unscrewed the cap and poured a shot of vodka before handing it to me.

I hesitated, "I don't drink."

Edward levelled me with a serious look, "I am not serving you. I don't just have a heavy knowledge of the law, Bella, I also have the medical expertise to know the effects of underage drinking, especially with something _this_ strong."

Alice rolled her eyes, "Edward, her body is pretty much finished growing, I doubt her liver will scar over one drink." Edward looked like he was about to make his rebuttal but she cut him off angrily, "Don't even try it Edward. The law is stupid and you know it. If she's old enough for the government to send her off to war to die, than she should be old enough to decided whether she wants a drink."

"So does that also apply to cigarettes then? Should every eighteen year old be able to walk to the store, grab some good hard alcohol and a pack of cigarettes and be allowed to go on their way? Is that ethically right to let children start to kill themselves before they even leave school? Or better yet, start a horrible addiction that will land them in alcoholics anonymous before they even get their first real job?" Edward countered with just as much fervour, his eyes burning.

I stiffened at the word _child_. Alice noticed, and when she spoke again her voice was soft and fierce, "So she's old enough to fuck, but she isn't allowed to choose what else she wants in her body?"

Edward was struck silent. I shifted uncomfortably at the word. Especially since it was directed at us. "I really don't want the drink anyways." I tried. Neither of them seemed to hear me and I started chewing on my non-existent thumb nail, my eyes flicking between them.

"That's different." Edward finally said. "Sex doesn't have any long term side effects. And it was a decision that was made from love, not want. It would be more fair to compare the legality to underage marriages."

Alice opened her mouth and I _knew_ what she was going to say before she said it. Her argument would be potential pregnancy, sexually transmitted diseases, and I was sure there were sexual addictions, not to mention there were women who were convinced that sex equated to love. That it was the way to keep a man with them. _That_ could destroy lives just as thoroughly as any other addiction could. Her argument would be just enough to make Edward think—even if it was just for a moment.

I stood up so quickly that the chair nearly tipped backward. "LISTEN TO ME!" I cried as loudly as I could. Both Alice and Edward jumped at my outburst, and then turned to stare at me. Heat crept up my cheeks and I sat back down quickly, letting my hair fall into my face. "I don't want the stupid drink." I mumbled at the table.

"Alright." Alice said slowly, and I caught the placating tone. I blushed deeper, wishing I could shrink away into nothing. Obviously not the best thought out plan, but there hadn't been much time for a well thought out distraction.

Edward found himself too, his eyes still just a little too big, still showing his stunned reaction in the fine lines between his eyebrows, slightly bowed together. "Are you alright, Bella?" he wondered. I let my head thump onto the table in answer. "As I was _trying_ to say earlier,"—he shot a dark look at Alice—"I'm not serving you, this is for my shoulder that you wanted cleaned so badly."

I looked up, surprised. "Then why are you giving it to me?"

"Because Alice has a weak stomach, and Emmett…is Emmett." He answered, throwing a wearied look over his shoulder at Emmett who seemed completely oblivious to us, inspecting the bite with the occasional prod.

I winced, all my bottom teeth were mostly blended together into one long mark, the proof of the torture with braces. The top teeth though were a little more distinguished in his skin, the whole wound was rimmed with a tortured looking red, the bite itself was more a purplish black colour.

I thought about informing Edward of _my_ weak stomach, but one look at Alice to told me she wasn't going to do it. Her face was scrunched up in empathetic pain, her hand on her shoulder. I didn't think it was so much a weak stomach that hindered her, but the odd connection they carried. If Alice saw Edward in pain, she seemed to suffer too.

I took the shot glass unwillingly. "Do you want me to pour it straight on?" I wondered doubtfully, examining the clear liquid. If I hadn't seen it poured, I might have thought it was just water in the glass. The sharp burning smell was a dead giveaway though.

Edward nodded and handed me the cloth, "Try to catch as much as you can, and I'll put a bit more on the cloth in a moment."

I had a second of Déjà vu. Not the place or people but the words, so much so I thought he had repeated himself from the time in his insomnia room. _I don't pour alcohol all over myself if I get a cut anymore. _Apparently not. He made other people do it for him now.

I grimaced openly at him, and climbed into his lap. I took a deep breath, and the sharp smell of alcohol burned my sinuses clean. "You ready?"

Edward grinned easily at me. I didn't even see a hint of hesitation in his eyes. "Of course. Are _you_?"

No. "Yes." I looked at his shoulder again, "I'm so sorry, Edward. I didn't even realize…."

Edward snickered, "Neither did I, I thought you just had your nails in my skin until I felt the blood. Alright, ready?…_go!_"

My wrist didn't tilt. I leaned my head into the crook of his injured shoulder, being careful not to put any pressure anywhere near the bite. I kissed the skin there once, twice, three times and then I let the alcohol trickle over his skin, catching the river as it cascaded down his chest.

His arm flexed, and I looked down to see his fist balled tightly at the end of it. Tendons stood out against his white knuckles. I quickly peeked up at his expression to see it smooth, his eyes closed. The glass emptied, and unlike in my water glass earlier, when the last drop started to trickle down, I set the glass upright on the table. I pushed it as far from me as I could.

Edward was motionless a moment longer, and then he leaned forward and grabbed the tall bottle. He was trying so hard to try and move normally, but I could see how he shied away from moving his upper body. He held his hand out for the cloth and I handed it to him. Every inch of me wanted to throw the cloth as far away from him as I could, fingers curling too hard around the cloth while my arm buzzed with all the strength in the world. I would toss the stupid cloth all the way to New Olympia if he gave me the chance.

Edward grinned down at me effortlessly, "You're doing a wonderful job, Bella. I barely even felt that." he chuckled and kissed the top of my head, his lips lingering while he tried to work the cloth out of my unwilling fingers. When he freed it, he soaked the cloth and handed it back to me, smiling like I was doing a delightful thing for him. As my hand closed around the cloth again, so did my throat.

I looked at it. There were little paths of red where the alcohol pulled some of the blood away with it, staining the cloth a sinister pink. "What about an anaesthetic?" I wondered. My voice, to my great dismay came out in a watery choke. Edward hurt, and _I_ cried.

Edward pulled me tight against him, "I don't need an anaesthetic, Bella, it's just a little sting. Besides, that was the worst part, once you get pressure on it, it will be easier." He smiled at me.

I hesitated and then pushed the cloth down. Edward was such a brilliant liar, I didn't even realize that he had been until I pushed the cloth down. _This_ was the worst part. His entire arm went rigid, his shoulder bowing slightly away from the cloth. It was why he wouldn't do it himself. Without fear as the prime motivator, he wouldn't be able to hold the cloth there.

I felt a hot trickle of heat on my cheeks. It was only when my eyes blurred, blinding my vision that I realized I was the one crying. I took one had off the cloth and wrapped it around his neck before reapplying it from behind. "Can you hold me." I murmured quietly. It was only phrased as a question.

His arms instantly wrapped tightly around me, and I hoped that this was something akin to holding his hand, or putting a strap of leather between his teeth. "Tighter." I whispered. His arms tightened until I thought my ribs might break. I clenched my teeth, trying to suck in a breath, "Tighter." I managed. His arms constricted further and though he was clenching all his muscles, I felt something relax in him. I could feel where the flexible bones of my ribs were being bent, crushing my breaths in and making my torso scream in sharp biting complaints.

Alice was soaking another cloth, looking apologetically at me, and I saw that his shoulder had opened up again, the biting smell of alcohol was drowning out the rusted salt smell of his blood. I couldn't believe I was so _blind_. The memory of one night in my room, talking about allergies. I had laughed and said blood. Told him it made me sick to smell.

He had chosen the alcohol so I wouldn't smell the blood. Obviously the doctor would know the wound would open again, and Edward knew that he would have to fight tooth and nail to stop me from being with him. To try and comfort him while stroking my contrite remorsefulness.

Alice traded cloths with me quickly, and then squeezed my shoulder, giving me the approximation of a smile. I think she was more thankful that it was me here rather than her more than she was hurting for Edward.

Emmett had switched places with me, sitting in the chair I had been in, looking awkward, like he didn't know what to do. He patted Edward's knee. "There, there." He pulled away, looking awkward again.

Edward buried his head in my hair, inhaling deeply. "You really are doing a wonderful job, Alice usually leaves the room at this point." He managed in a strained humorous tone.

I swallowed thickly pass the lump in my throat. Alice wasn't pinned in place by the weight of her guilt. It had been such a thoughtless, carnal thing. The sudden intense build of pleasure that had me needing to scream, to writher. And obviously to burry my teeth into his flesh.

Alice appeared into my line of sight again with another bandage, and I could have kissed her I was so relieved. It was over. I quickly took the bandage, ripping the paper off with the same teeth that had started all of his in the first place in my hurry to get it out of the package. While I pulled the waxy paper away from the adhesive part of the bandage, Alice rubbed something whitish onto the bite, Polysporn or something of that nature.

My frantic rush to extract the bandage from all the damn clingy paper slowed when I delicately smoothed it onto his shoulder. Edward laughed into my hair, "What am I? Glass?" At this, Edward suddenly remembered that I was asphyxiating in his arms, and quickly unwound his hold.

Despite my best efforts, I pulled in a long luxurious breath of beautiful air, loving how my ribs expanded, how by spine seemed to settle back into place. Edward pulled away so he could see my face, "Thank you, so much." Edward smiled, but I could see him biting his tongue.

I sighed, "Say it before you explode."

I was suddenly crushed in his arms again, and the sweet breath was forced back out of my lungs. "I'm so sorry." he kissed my lips hard. I wasn't sure if my lips burned from the kiss because he was Edward, or because the lack of oxygen was cooling them. "Did I hurt you?"

I gave an almost shrug, hindered by the fact my spine was slowly being separated, "Not yet." I managed.

He let go of me. Emmett laughed, "Bella, you are the _best_ Edward's girlfriend ever. I mean, some of Edward's girlfriends had a bit of bark in them, but you are _all_ bite."

I grimaced and clicked my teeth at him. Edward chuckled and touched his lips to my temple, "I think I've changed my mind on the anaesthetic." He murmured lowly, letting his lips brush my skin delicately.

My joking humour vanished, "Of course," I murmured back, wondering why I was getting a sensual vibe from Edward. Unless he leaned towards masochism, I wasn't finding where this mood was coming from. "Do you want me to get you ice?"

Edward chuckled softly, standing up and taking my hand, his look incredibly tender. "I think we better go change into something dry."

Both Emmett and Alice's eyebrows shot up, and I looked down to see the souvenir of my experimentation proudly displayed on Edward abdomen. Alice was kind enough to look away and stay silent, though her cough sounded suspiciously laugh like.

I took a long deep breath, and wished myself somewhere Emmett-less.

Emmett, taking great joy in watching my chameleon act, laughed out loud. "Man, after the bite I'd say watch your back, but I think the better advice would be to watch your _neck_. She's part vampire man." Tiny little Alice sitting next to him had to bury her head in her arms to hide the fact she was laughing too.

Edward shot them both an irritated look. "Next time you bring Rose or Jasper over, I'll be sure to harass them just as thoroughly as you are with Bella." He snapped angrily, he pulled me behind him slightly in what seemed like more of a subconscious gesture.

Emmett sobered, "Hey, Ed, we're just having a bit of fun with you. We haven't had the chance before." He grinned, "Besides, Rosie deserves more than just recognition for keeping up with this lover." he folded his hands behind his head in genuine pride.

Alice shuddered delicately, "Go up stairs and get changed before I get too nauseated to order in the food." She looked at Emmett, and then gagged.

Edward took the chance for escape, leading me up the stairs quickly. I stopped in front of the library, before turning towards him. Edward met my beseeching stare with confusion before realization dawned on him. "No, Bella."

I pouted unhappily, watching my socked foot scuffling the thick carpet. "Please? I just want to see what you have in the library." Edward rolled his eyes and grabbed my wrist, pulling me towards his room. I tried to plant my feet, and only ended up getting jerked along. "But you can tell so much about a man by his books!" I squealed, reaching for the door frame.

He gave up with trying to pull me and just threw me over his good shoulder. "Not right now. Your soaking wet."

I gasped at him, "Because of _you_." I cried in disbelief. He just chuckled darkly and closed the door to his room. I sighed sadly. No library for Bella.

Edward set me down on my feet, and hesitated a moment, watching me suspiciously to make sure I wasn't going to make a run for the library when he wasn't looking, and then he turned and went to his dresser, pulling out a change of clothes. He seemed to be honestly debating between wearing his sweat pants for the rest of the night, or a pair of nice jeans for my presence.

I sighed and walked over, hugging him from behind, and simultaneously pointing to the sweat pants. "I thought you wanted something for your shoulder." I murmured, pressing my cheek against his hot back.

Edward hummed his agreement, and then opened up another drawer and grabbed a black shirt. He put both of the garments on the dresser. He turned and I let my arms fall, looking all the way up to his face. He grinned down at me. "You have honestly no idea what I mean by that, do you?"

I hesitated, chewing on my lower lip thoughtfully. "Some kind of massage that acts sort of like an acupuncture or a reflexology treatment. Just without the needles." Edward's head tilted to the side, one eyebrow raised looking like he was trying to figure out a baffling concept. "I don't know how to do anything like that, obviously, but I thought you would try to teach me, I mean, what's the worst that can happen?" The moment the words were out of my mouth I felt absolutely asinine. I was talking about playing around with his nerves and pain receptors. "Well, other then leaving you with a horribly crippling pain that would stay with you for the rest of your life, what is the worst that can happen?"

He continued to stare at me with the same look. I had thought it made sense, it would account for the sensuality he had been emitting when he had suggested it. What was more voluptuously sensory than a massage?

Edward shook his head slowly, chuckling. "You are incredible." That didn't exactly feel like a complement. It seemed more like something new explorers might have said when they first laid eyes on kangaroos or duckbilled platypuses. "What I had been thinking of were _endorphins_."

He cradled my face in his hands, looking at me again in that same wondering way. "You truly are incredible." His eyes danced with humour and then he leaned down, kissing me. The kiss moved from gentle to something more passionate, and my shaking hands found their way into his hair. The feeling of being an alien creature faded as the intensity increased.

One of Edward's hands moved around to the small of my back, while the other stroked the hollow just above my collar bone. He popped two buttons of my blouse open and touched the raised collar bones before gliding down to touch the sensitive skin that lay between my breasts.

I pulled away from him, breathing hard. "What are you doing?"

Edward breathing was ragged as well, "Initiating copulation?" He smiled hopefully.

I shook my head, not in a negative response, but in incredulity. "If I'm incredible, you're _insane_. I just _tortured_ you."

"Hardly." he scoffed. He took a step towards me, his look sly. "I just thought since you had been playing doctor before for me, we might explore other methods of pain relief that they don't suggest in a doctors office." His hands fluttered at my waist so softly, I wasn't even sure he was touching me or if my mind was letting me feel what I wanted. And then Edward's lips twisted to the side, "Or I guess I could take a Tylenol."

I laughed and wrapped my arms around his waist. His hands were very _there_ at my back, really holding me. "You said the magic word." I murmured, grinning.

"Explore?"

"Of course."

Edward crowed with joy and picked me up, spinning us around once before falling back onto the bed with me on top of him. He was grinning hugely, "And here I've been saying _please_ all my life."

I giggled, burying my head in the crook of his neck. He moved us into the centre of his bed, growling lightly. The zipper to my skirt at my back slid down, and then Edward wiggled the skirt _up._ I sat up, and struggled to get the fabric over my wet shirt. I scowled at him through the halo of my waist band. "Thanks Edward."

He grinned apologetically, "It worked out in my head." He reached up and helped me wiggle my shoulders through and then tossed it onto the floor beside the bed, his attention turning back to my shirt. His unfailing smile was back, eyes darkening. "You should wear your shirt like that more often.

I looked down to see the neon green of my bra staring back at me. Edward looked pleased, and he offhandedly flicked another button open, his grin widening at a bit more of my chest was revealed. My stomach twisted into inpatient knots, heat soaking through my underwear. The burning need for him that had been smouldering through me since we started exploring the insomnia room returned with a startling swiftness.

I whimpered, and then quickly bit my lip. Edward's eyes flickered to my face for a moment before he chuckled, his eyes dropping back to my chest, looking more like a force of gravity rather than will. I _needed_ relief, and Edward seemed inclined to take his time. I loved that Edward treated my body like some incredible work of art, and I really did appreciate the reverence he had for my breasts, but my insides were liquefying, and my blood, which could be deemed a highly combustible substance at the moment was dangerously close to my burning skin.

It didn't take a rocket scientist to figure out I was going to explode.

I rocked against the denim of his jeans desperately. And then I had a better idea. I shifted back slightly at the same moment Edward finally pulled my shirt away from me. I quickly shrugged it off, and he laughed again at the hasty gesture. I hesitated, still so unsure of my actions when it came to Edward. Uncertainty always seemed to be throwing me off when it came to sex. It's not like I could waltz into a book store and grab a do's and don'ts book on physical love.

Or maybe I could. I'd never looked before.

Edward reached around, running his fingers over the burning skin of my back, relishing the heat. With his other hand he was tracing the line between the fabric and the sensitive skin of my breasts, enticing electricity the closer he moved to my heart. A new wave of need flashed down my spine as his fingers traced over my spinal cord. I instantly grinded down on the bulge in his jeans.

The instantaneous flood of pleasure zinged through me and I gasped his name. Edward groaned, and then his hands were on my hips, grinding me down harder. And then, he had the unbelievable audacity to pull me _off_ him, up high onto his stomach. A croak of a sob choked in my throat as the need heightened. I was reaching a point where I was so super sensitive I could almost feel the individual air molecules bouncing off my heated skin.

My bra was snapped off, and Edward pulled me down, taking a breast into his mouth. My body trembled, my blood igniting. His tongue circled the sensitive peak, and I wanted to explain that he_ wasn't _helping. He kept one hand behind my neck, keeping me down so he could continue to ravish my breasts with his mouth. His other hand—his wonderful, amazing hand—found where I needed him most.

A moan choked around my needful sob, two fingers snaking under my panties to slide inside me. I bucked against his hand, and he stopped trying to pump, just letting me use him for friction. I grabbed a handful of his hair, pressing his face closer against my breast. He rewarded me with a third finger, nipping at the flesh before just burring his head between my breasts, kissing the cleavage there. I cried out, and a strange half shushing, half laugh escaped from between my breasts.

"Please," I whimpered, "I want more. I need you." Edward's thump was suddenly there, rubbing against my clitoris every time I rocked into his hand, his mouth finding my other breast. I choked back a scream, biting my forearm instead to muffle the sound. The pain sent a refreshing wave of clarity through my body, making me even more hyper aware. Somewhere in the back of my mind, I recognized this as a self-preservation instinct so I didn't end up with a scar to match Edward's.

My eyes watered and I grabbed his hand, grinding harder on him. He traded his thumb for his palm quickly to keep from hurting me, his mouth moving to the inside of my breast, sucking hard at the flesh while a tidal wave of heat hit me. Pleasure exploded into a million tiny starts behind my eyes.

My inner walls clenched around his fingers, and my body stopped moving, the a cry muffled against my flesh. Edward took the opportunity to reclaim control over his hand to pump into me, helping me ride out my orgasm. As the last of the stars winked back into the dark background behind my eyelids, Edward slipped his fingers out of me. I sat up again on shaky arms.

Edward grinned happily up at me, licking his fingers. Gravity took hold of Edward's eyes again, and his grin widened. I looked down to see a small purplish mark on the inside of my right breast, and then shot him a dark look. "You take any opportunity you get."

Edward hummed in agreement around his fingers, green eyes dancing in light amusement. His eyes strayed to the last remnant of my outfit, and then he hooked a finger into the waistband of my underwear, his look finally displeased. "These need to go. I don't like stragglers." he let the elastic snap back against my skin playfully.

I grabbed his hand, laughing, "Don't that stings." I complained.

Edward's smile completely disappeared, and he grabbed my arm, bringing it closer to his face. "What did you do to your arm?" he exclaimed, horrified.

I turned it in the circle of his hand, seeing the little red marks where my teeth punched through the first couple layers of skin. It would be gone before I woke up tomorrow. I shrugged, "Nothing, it's fine."

He frowned at me, trailing his fingers along the crown of tooth marks imprinted into my arm. He sighed, "Bella, I really don't mind if you bite me. I _like_ it in a weird way that I don't want to try and explain. Biting yourself is an entirely different matter—"

"What?" I cried, "I nearly take a Bella sized _bite_ out of your arm and you want to frame it, but I take a nibble of my arm and you get angry with me?" Edward took my arms and pulled me down so I was laying down on him, his face closer to mine. He touched our foreheads together, looking like he was going to say something, and then thought better of it, silently brushing our lips together.

I sighed, moving my head onto his good shoulder, trying to collect my scattered thoughts. "I feel…safer I guess. If I bite myself, I'll feel it and stop before I do any real damage. I can't feel through your skin, Edward. I _do_ hurt you."

Edward thought about that and then shrugged. "How about we come to a compromise. We will have sex now, and argue later. Is that fair?"

I groaned, burying my head into the crook of his neck. "That's right. I was supposed to be setting off _your_ endorphins." I sighed, and when I breathed in, he was the only thing I could taste on my tongue. I kissed his neck.

Edward's hand slid down my back, chuckling. "I'm not sure who enjoyed that more." his lips moved to my ear, "but if that was a demonstration on how you plan to ride _me_…I think we'd have a definite winner." he took my earlobe between his teeth, a low growling sound rumbling through his chest.

I moaned, heat melting through my already soaked underwear. And then I sat up, narrowing my eyes at him as I realized I'd been lured off my original train of thought. Edward grabbed my hips and then ground me down hard onto the bulge in his jeans before I was able to accuse him. Even through the fabric of my underwear I could feel the rough denim against tender flesh. I bit my lip fiercely against a cry.

I quickly rolled off him, pulling my underwear off and then tugging his wet jeans down. Edward kicked them the rest of the way off, and then his boxers were gone. He rolled onto his side, hooking my leg over his waist.

And then the rush stopped.

I was breathing hard, excitement thundering through my veins. Edward's one hand was still high on the outside of my thigh, the other was supporting him. "What happened?" I wondered breathlessly, looking at him with confusion, and honestly, a bit of disappointment.

I was instantly snared in his eyes. Edward stared at me, my eyes, my nose, my cheeks and then my lips before looking me back in the eye. He touched his nose to mine. "I love you." He whispered sincerely, "So much Bella, and _that's_ why I don't like you hurting yourself. You aren't saving me pain. Not by a long shot." he touched out lips for a moment, I was still frozen staring at him. He was far to beautiful, I didn't think I'd ever get used to it.

"I don't understand." I whispered, taking in his eyes. "About that last part, I mean."

He pulled away slightly so he could comfortably look me in the eye. "Pain is pain is pain. When it's your own. It so easy to deal with. But watching someone else, the hurt doesn't stay…physical." he was struggling to explain himself, and his eyes took on a hypnotizing effect as they tried to make me understand through that connective look alone. "Something that seems to little to you, is torture for me. Your 'nibble' is being doused in alcohol. Breaking your virginity is having the skin ripped from my back. I can't take it, Bella. I'm not that strong."

Anyone walking in on this moment would have thought it completely carnal. No thought, just feeling and lust. A couple of horny teenagers rolling around in the sheets (though Edward had past his expiry date). My leg was still hooked over his hip, our faces close enough that I could feel his breath, just starting to slow from the excited gasping it had been. My hands, which had been behind his head, clenched into a fist. "It's not different for me." I assured him, trying to keep my temper under control. There were too many hormones rushing around my body. Too many new sensations to feel completely like myself. To rein in control of such an easy emotion to let go of.

Edward didn't say anything. His silence in the short moment he kept my eyes before kissing me said everything he needed to say. He might believe that I loved him, that much was glaringly clear, but he honestly thought he loved me more than I loved him. Honestly believed my emotions were that weak.

I couldn't even argue that with him. How could I explained that I didn't even have _words_ to describe what I felt? He parted my lips softly, and I held him tighter against me.

I fisted my hands in his hair, pulling him closer, kissing him harder. He mistook my frustration for impatience. With a low groan he slipped his tongue into my mouth at the same moment that he thrust inside me.

I gasped and He rolled onto his back, taking me with him. Our lips broke apart and I sat up, shivering. My skin was still sweaty, starting to cool, and his body had been so _warm_. He was looking up at me, breathing excited, his hands resting on my waist.

I flashed him a grin, and then rolled my hips. Even when he believed that I was just a teenager with her emotions running wild, I was still here with him now. Just a teenager, but I could satisfy him. He groaned, one of his hands coming up to cup my breast.

I made sure to switch my movements when he wasn't expecting it. I moved from an up and down bouncing motion to taking him in fully and grinding against his base, or I'd circle my hips around him. Without warning though, he brought his knees up and tipped his lower body into a slope. I tipped forward, catching myself against his chest with my forearms.

I started. He gave no apology, only a dark grin. His hands took hold of my hips, holding me where I was while his body dropped back to the bed. "That's nothing like your prelude." he chastised playfully. He thrust up into me sharply, and I clenched my teeth to hold back a scream.

His grin widened, he started thrust into me in quick, hard motions. He wasn't even falling back to the bed, hardly even pulling out before driving back into me. Just as suddenly as he had started, he stopped, letting his legs stretch back out. His hands moved back to their original places and I fell back onto him, gasping. Desperately needful now.

I was on the very edge of the precipice, and the idea of varying my movements wasn't even a thought. I started ridding him just as hard as he had been moving inside of me. His head fell back with a low groan. The energy I would have released if I had allowed myself to scream were building into a recognizable force, and I started moving faster.

His eyes were riveted on me now, watching how he disappeared inside me before a shiver rolled through him, and he stared back up at me. Finally the energy exploded, and all the sounds I'd been biting back ripped up my throat. "_Edward_," I screamed, and the sound tore through my body, heat seared through me. My hands were clenched at his abdomen, "Oh god, Edward." I whimpered, the last of the heat escaping through me.

Edward's hand tightened on my waist, reminding me as the last of my orgasm shivered through me that I had stopped moving. I started ridding him again, my mind clearer now, able to appreciate every emotion that moved across his face. Seeing when to move harder or to slow for a moment before speeding up again.

The hand that had been on my breast dropped to my waist too. I could see his release was close, his mouth slightly parted, the way his eyes captured mine, seeming to see so much more than my brown eyes. I kept his stare, reaching behind me. I stopped going all the way down on the hilt on him, and grabbed his testis, squeezing.

"Bella!" he choked on a cry, trying desperately to stay quiet.

I wasn't having that. I knew where the small dimple hid, and as he neared closer to his release I rubbed it with the knuckle on my middle finger. Edward shouted—no that wasn't right, the sound still carried the pitch of his baritone, but it lost the control I was used too. Edward _screamed _my name.

His hands tightened on my waist, pulling me down hard on him while his body arched up to mine, shaking. There was a shot of heat, and then Edward, gasping and shaking collapsed back against the bed. His skin was glowing, his body covered in a shimmering sweat that made him seem more like a mirage than a concrete being.

I grinned smugly down at him. For a moment that seemed to be much longer than it was, Edward was still other than the slight lingering shaking, his eyes closed. There was just the slowing of his breath and a single heartbeat that thundered in my ears.

My smirk started to fade. I was suddenly not so sure about his reaction. Men screaming was right up there with men crying. It was something that society had taught me to be weary of.

I waited for him to open his eyes, nervously chewing on the nail of my thumb. His face was so smooth I couldn't read it for any clue. Finally his eyes did open, and he stared at me solemnly. I nodded minutely to myself, bowing my head a little, ready to be reprimanded. It had been too much, I'd hurt him.

He cleared his throat, "I have…_never_ had sex before this moment." His voice was rough. I looked up, startled. He nodded, just as seriously.

I couldn't help it. The nervousness expanded into something warmer, bubbling up by throat in a peal of laughter; I collapsed on his chest. He chuckled too, holding me tightly against his shaking chest. "I'm serious. Can we do it again?"

I shook my head, still laughing. "You thought you were spoiled before." I mumbled.

Edward sighed in grudging agreement. "Special occasions then. Parties and holidays?"

"I don't think those are the kind of party tricks people expect from us." I sighed contently, and then looked at the clock beside his bed in more of a habit than actual curiosity. Edward was loud enough that there was no doubt we weren't just changing our clothes. He seemed a little troubled, looking at the ceiling, absently rubbing his hands along my thighs. He caught my anxious look and shook his head. "Just a little disappointed that you found a major hot spot on my body before I found yours. It's sad really, seeing as _I'm_ supposed to be the experienced one."

I rolled my eyes and shyly moved closer to his ear so I wouldn't have to say it too loud. "You've had me screaming all day," I admitted quietly, my eyes flickered nervously towards the door. "I've only helped you with that same feeling once."

Goose bumps erupted across his arms and the back of his neck. "More than that." he assured me, "This just happened to be the most…potent." I pulled back to see him grin hugely.

I blushed, and climbed off him, and then groaned. He sat up quickly, "What? What happened?"

I gestured to what _had_ been my dry skirt, now on the bottom of the sopping pile of mine and Edward's wet clothes. "All my clothes are down stairs."

Edward fell back to the bed, laughing. I had to smile at him when he patted his stomach for me to return. I climbed into bed beside him instead.

And why not, where else was there to go?

**A/N: For anyone who thought that Edward over reacted at the alcohol cleaning, I'm sorry to hear that, but I've had something as shallow as road rash sterilized with alcohol **_**based**_ **products. The injury itself hurt less than the help. ^_^ Is anyone else noticing how long this day is? It was supposed to be about…oh, maybe three chapters. Yeah…not quite. Oh well, I hope you are all enjoying the story anyways, no matter how ridiculously long the days are in here. And, I wanted to know if there is anyone who would enjoy a chapter in Edward's point of view. It wont be for a while, but if people don't want it, I won't write it. ^_^ thanks for reading everyone. **

(And for the people who suffer through my authors notes…J)

"What's your name?" I whispered as we ran a stop light in my frantic search. Not for a dark ally now. That would come later. Now I needed a place were I could further explore her services.

The thought alone sickened me. It went against the morals that had been instilled in me. If I had gone to see a lady of the night when my parents were alive, it would have shamed my name. I doubted it was much different now, but I also knew that though the law frowned on what I was about to participate in, it would be even more horrified by what was really going to happen.

"Chime."

My eyes closed as the revolting truth of what I was about to do set in. There was not just one monster occupying my mind now. There were two. One was the one I had been battling since my change; I had thought I knew how to beat down that foe—for the most part—until this night.

Then there was the new monster. One that feasted on pleasure. I didn't know how to put a stop, or even to stall the new need. I had never had to deal with it until now.

"Chime?" I wondered sceptically. Then I remembered that many prostitutes created a false name for themselves.

Though _Chime_ heard the scepticism she just looked out the window. "Mhmm."

"Do you have a last name?" I wondered, this ruse was a little enjoyable despite the physical and mental torture she was administering unwittingly on me. I had a false name too, though my family would argue that ferociously. My true name before I had become a Cullen had been Masen. The change was a tribute to the loss of my humanity. I was curious as to the reason of her change.

**This is a new story I want to start after Baby sitting is done. It will be my last story on fan fiction. As you can guess it is a little dark, but I'll try my best to keep some light humour in it. I have to be honest and say that don't read stories like these. I don't like them, so it's understandable if there are people who have read this piece of the story and decided they don't want to read it either. What I want to assure you all of though if you do decide to try reading it, is I **_**always**_** give happy endings (that's a guarantee you can hold me to) it is not going to be a smut story, and Bella's choice to sell her body is based on good love and bad luck. ^_^ Thanks again for reading.**


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter 13**

**Teeny Tiny Twilight**

"Come on, Please? I promise not to laugh."

I grimaced, curled up against his chest under the covers. "Better not." I mumbled. Edward poorly disguised a snicker as a cough. "My mom dated this eccentric chef once, and he told me that if I ate a particular spice straight it would send me into a coma. I don't even remember the spice, but since then, I've refused to drink more than half a can of ginger ale."

"Because it has ginger in the name?" Edward's voice came out strained, and then he went into another fit of coughs.

I pushed against his chest, irritated and he dropped the façade, laughing openly at my quirk. We had been playing something akin to twenty questions…but not quite. You were supposed to take turns asking each other questions, and you always had to answer with the truth or else you had to forfeit the game and pass. Edward wasn't playing by the rules since he begged for my turns; endlessly intrigued in me.

"Just one more?" he inquired hopefully.

I shook my head at him, "I've forfeited my last three turns." I tried to make it come out as a complaint, but the secreted wonder of his interest seeped through my words, coating them with astonishment.

Edward waved this off, "I talk all the time. I want to hear about you."

He _must_ know more than anyone else about me by now; other than Renée. Despite the fact that this should have been moderately troubling, I smiled. "Shoot."

His arm tightened on me and he took a long, deep breath. "About what Alice was saying before…." he trailed off and took another deep breath. "Will you stay? You can even repaint my room into something less dull if you would like. Alice has been pushing me to repaint it anyways."

I could hear the silence where Edward held his breath, waiting for my answer. I realized that I could hear his lack of breathing so well because mine was silent too. I let out my breath in a single word. "No."

"Ah," Edward groaned in quiet disillusionment, looking at the ceiling to try and hide his expression from me. He turned after a second and kissed my forehead, "I shouldn't be surprised, I suppose. You were never waiting for Alice's blessing."

I looked down, tracing imaginary lines across his chest. "I'm sorry." I hesitated, weighing my next words carefully, "I'm going to collage soon anyways. I doubt you want to wait _years_ for me to come back anyways." I stressed the time, trying to break through to him.

"I've waited my entire life for you. A few years mean nothing to me, Bella." His voice lost its definite edge in a low laugh, "Besides the fact that you'll be back here for a month and a half before you leave. That's worth all the time in the world to me."

I hummed, looking away from him. Edward didn't notice, he looked to be trying to figure something out. He sighed and dismissed the thought with a shake of his head. Edward grinned wearily, "Oh well, there are so many worse things that could happen. We could be separated by war. That's worse."

I nodded solemnly, "The hospital could see what a miracle you are and ship you off to a hospital far from here to work medical wonders."

He chuckled, squeezing me against him. "How would you know about my medical miracles? You never even knew I had medical _experience_." He was silent, thinking about something to one up me. "What if a hurricane came and picked me right up off the ground and deposited me in the middle of the ocean?"

I rolled my eyes. "And I was picked up by a twister and landed in Oz?"

"Possible."

I sighed. Yes, all these things were worse then a two week separation, but ours might end up being until I graduated collage. If he still wanted me after the deception. "There's death. That is worse."

Edward's breathing cut off. I hadn't even realized that not only had our hearts been synchronized, but I must have unconsciously synchronized our breathing too. Mine was the only one I could hear for a moment, and then he exhaled in a sharp breath, words running together with the speed. "Death…I'm not sure. I don't _want_ to imagine death as nothing. Just a decaying body. That all that will leave my body is excess energy and carbon. But the idea of being…conscious in a sense, and being disconnected from living. From you, from family and friends….An eternity of nothing but your memories to serve. I think I would rather nothing than that… that _crushing_ loneliness." He breathed out through his nose in a similar way that he had when I had pressed the stupid alcohol drenched cloth against his shoulder.

Mortality was a subject that I thought told you a lot about someone. If you honestly believed you had been a more burden than joy in this life, you often were nervous about it, scared about what waited for you. Or maybe there were people who thought that one life wasn't enough to see and feel and love and make all the things they wanted to see and feel and love.

His pessimism about the afterlife scared me. "Or," I countered, trying to make the subject feel a little less bleak, "Maybe it's not just between two kinds of nothing. Renée always told me that if your soul mate died, you died too, unless you had already met and loved them I guess. I've never necessarily believed that, but it's a comforting thought. I can't imagine living my life without—" I choked off. I had been about to say, _without you._ "without _that_ person. Maybe death is kind of like that too. Maybe that happens for a reason."

Edward digested this for a moment. "That's what your mother thinks…what do _you_ think?"

I hesitated, "I agree with you in the sense that the idea of just being dead and that's the end is…scary. Life feels pretty empty like that. Working to nothing. I…" I bit my lip. "Please don't laugh."

Edward nodded solemnly, "I promise I won't." he murmured just as somber, though I thought he sounded a bit affronted that I would believe he would laugh about something like this.

I curled up against him, "I kind of believe what my mom said, but so that you…you get second chances. That you have more than one lifetime with them."

Edward smiled, not humored, but kindly and somehow also grave. "If that is the case—and it is a comforting way to see death—then your soul must be very old." he touched my cheek, contemplating. "I wonder how many times I've loved you." he whispered.

I shivered, and then rose to my hands and knees over him, grinning as a cascade of messy hair framed, curtaining around his face, spilling onto the pillows by his head. I didn't know how to answer him, or even if I should. I opted instead for silence, and kissed him instead. He groaned quietly into my mouth, kissing me back with just as much adoration.

"Hey, Edward—whoa." Emmett spun on his heel and walked back out of the room closing the door behind him. I had gasped, hiding against the side of Edward's body half a second too late.

Edward blinked, and then there was a knock on our—_his_—bedroom door. "The uhh…phone is for you?"

Edward chuckled, pulling the covers up over us, and tucking me in closer against him. "Come in."

Emmett opened the door again with an intensely disgruntled look, "Not if I can help it." He grumbled lowly under his breath, and then more loudly, "That was the second most horrifying moment of my life." He shuddered, handing a thin black cordless phone to Edward.

Edward put his hand over the handset, "Maybe you'll learn to knock before walking in next time." He put the phone to his ear without waiting for a response. "Hello, Edward speaking."

Emmett met my eyes for a second, and then shuddered. I blushed furiously and buried my head in the crook of Edward's neck. He walked out of the room, shoulders hunched and closed the door behind him. "Oh God, it _burns_." he cried out in the hall, muffled my the walls.

Edward's eyes widened, "Hello Charlie. Yes, everything is wonderful here." he grinned and touched the back of my head. Charlie always mumbled over the phone, so even though I could hear his voice, I couldn't make out the words. Edward nodded, "Sure, here she is."

He passed me the phone, and I sighed, taking it. "Hey Dad," I said, trying to sound happier. "How's life in the big city?"

"Horrible." he grumbled, "I miss your cooking kid. Eating out is only fun the first day."

I raised an eyebrow, "It's only fun the first day, or only affordable?"

Charlie chuckled on the other side, "Both. Having fun?" his voice sounded like he was waiting for a sharp snap of a reply.

I looked at Edward who was politely trying not to eaves drop, looking at the ceiling instead. "Yeah, Edward took me swimming with his brother and sister. We're ordering in some Italian food now, and I _think_ we're watching a movie later." Edward nodded at the last part, still trying to look disengaged.

"Good." There was an uncomfortable silence on the other end, and I waited patiently for Charlie to collect his thoughts. On long distance. "Hey, Bella, you're a good kid. Sorry for not being a hip enough dad to leave you home." Charlie cleared this throat gruffly, "I just always feel bad for always leaving you alone."

I smiled at Charlie's way of saying I love you. Edward got out of bed and started getting dressed, obviously uncomfortable with the whole situation. The secrecy more than anything by the irate way he pulled his clothes on. I watched him, "Don't worry about it, I'm a bit of a recluse anyways. And it worked out, this time. I'm having more fun here than I would have alone at home."

Edward turned and gave me a brilliant smile. I grinned back. Charlie sounded pleased that I didn't hate him. "Good." He sounded honestly pleased, and I was glad I wasn't going to get another_ Edward-isn't-looking-for-a-women-in-your-age-group_ speech. "Can I talk to Edward again?"

"Sure." I handed the phone back to him. Edward tossed me a pair of his sweat pants and a shirt. He nodded apologetically at my drenched clothes, and I got the point. I slipped into the sweat pants, big enough so that I could fit another me inside them, and pulled the big shirt on. Everything smelled like Edward, and I happily curled up in the clothes.

Edward stopped suddenly, with his frenzied movements, pulling at his hair, jerking things off the shelves just to straighten them again. "Ten? Isn't that a little early? I wouldn't mind keeping her for dinner." Edward ran his hand through his hair as he listened to Charlie. He sighed a choked defeat. "I guess." He murmured, unconvinced. "Alright, we'll see you then. I will. Bye." He turned the phone off and tossed it unhappily onto the bed, before sitting down himself.

He turned and pulled me onto his lap, cradling me there. "I don't even get the entire morning with you." he mumbled miserably.

I tried to cheer him up, "It could be worse." I tried to remind him, hoping her would revert back to one of our ridiculous ideas.

"Yeah," he grumbled, "We could be dead."

I sighed, resting my head on his shoulder. I looked at him, "Or we could be in Oz." I muttered back, and Edward chuckled, kissing my forehead. Holding me silently in his arms, he rested his head on mine.

Eventually he moved, "Alright," he sighed, "Ready to see Emmett again?" He grinned at me.

I grimaced. "Not really." I looked down self-consciously at what I was wearing, and then sighed. "I guess you don't have any dry bras to lend me?"

Edward chuckled, "No one will even notice. Except for me, but I'll be looking." He kissed me once more, and then stood.

Hunger panged, more furiously than before, and I nearly doubled over. My hand went to my viciously barren stomach, and then up to Edward. "How much longer do you think the food will be?"

Edward took my free hand, pulling me down the stairs with an intensely apologetic curve to his lips, "Soon Bella. I'm sure it won't be much longer. Would you like to raid the fridge while we wait?"

By some great miracle, we hit the curve of the stairs in time to see Emmett's back as he walked into the kitchen, and then _I_ was the one trying to pull Edward down the stairs more quickly before he could come back out. Obviously, I couldn't avoid him all night. That was fine, I'd hide for as long as I could.

Behind the couch, in the cushions, and if worst came to worst, I would just dig a hole in the back yard and die there.

Emmett's head peeked out of the kitchen. Edward was half bent over because I was a stair ahead of him, not to mention the already gross difference in height. My feet hesitated where they were for a moment of fear where I wondered if it was possible to pretend I forgot something upstairs, and bolt. Instead, I took a deep breath and held it, raising my chin at him; _daring _him to say something.

Emmett didn't look me in the eye long enough to see the look. One hand moved to rub the back of his neck in sincere apology, while his other was held out with his palm facing us. "Look, sorry. I didn't mean to block your co—"

"Apology accepted." Edward said quickly, cutting off the rest of his sentence.

Emmett grinned, "Thanks. And no offense bells, but it wouldn't have worked between us anyways. I like mine blond." He winked.

"I'm heart broken." I assured him. Emmett's easy joke took the experience from _mortifying_ to embarrassment. I wonder how many times Edward must have…never mind, I didn't want to think about that.

Edward raised his eyebrow, "So what has this taught you, Emmett?"

Emmett's eyes widened, "Nothing, it's all _your_ fault. When you guys were doing the deed with your clothes _on_ we had no trouble. Oh, nice pants by the way, Bella."

I blushed, and Edward stared at his brother for a long second. "I have no idea what horrible thing I must have done in a past life to have gotten you as my brother."

Emmett snorted, "If it weren't for me, you never would have gotten laid. You and Bella could have done the whole virgin thing together. _If_ you got that far."

Edward stormed down the stairs, some part of his masculine pride left at the stair I was still standing on, looking for all the world like he was going to leave Emmett thoughtfully chewing on his teeth. The door thumped in the nick of time, and Edward diverted his course. I thought Emmett looked a little disappointed.

Edward marched purposefully to the door, and opened it in a sharp gesture. His shoulders relaxed the moment he realized who was here.

I hurried down the stairs with no major incidents, though the lack of intimacy with the last stair left me to stumble and catch onto a very solid Emmett for support. He grinned, catching and stabilizing me immediately. I smiled gratefully at him before I remembered I was supposed to be angry.

I quickly made a face and mumbled a chilly thank you before catching up with Edward, peeking around his back at the gangly teenager who stood there. He shifted awkwardly in the rain. "Uh," his voice cracked and I felt a swell of pity swell for him. "Your door bell doesn't work." He informed Edward politely.

Edward grinned, flashing his teeth. "I know. I was the one who broke it. How much?" he asked, nodding towards the incredulous delivery boy's hands. In a brilliant neon green warming bag, I saw the boxy outlines of neatly positioned containers.

The boy with reddish hair and freckles across the bridge of his nose like I'd had right up till I was ten awkwardly shuffled the bag in his arms around until he could dig the receipt out. "That'll be, um, eighty-three, seventy-three."

I gasped, horrified. If I had known it would have been so much, _I _would have cooked dinner, no sweat. Edward on the other hand reached into the pocket of his sweat pants and pulled out his wallet.

He went to take the money out, but I pushed his hand down. "Don't. I've got this." I assured him, guiltily turning the price over in my head. It seemed only fair to me since he had taken me out to a fancy restaurant last night.

Edward grinned touching the small of my back, eyebrow raised. "You happen to bring a hundred dollars with you?"

No. I happened to bring forty dollars with me by chance. I turned hesitantly to the delivery boy. "Do you happen to take interact?" I wondered hopelessly.

The boy grinned, "Sure," his voice cracked again. "It's right in the car."

Edward tapped his fist on the door, "Huh, imagine that. Why don't you get your purse Bella?"

I narrowed my eyes, untrustingly. "You promise?" I didn't trust that too innocent look he was giving me. He pecked my lips, and I smiled thankfully at him. It's not like I could drag the delivery boy through the house with me though, so I squeezed his hand, throwing one last glance at him, not missing that he hadn't actually _spoken_ an agreement.

I hurried to grab my purse from the cluttered hallway, getting even more treacherous now that the amount of light had gone from gloomy, to pitch black. I watched where my feet were carefully, but trying to move faster all the same so Edward didn't get impatient and just end up paying anyways.

In the darkness that swallowed everything a foot in front of my face, I knocked my shins against something, nearly tipping forward into my duffle bag. I was about to angrily push it out of my way before I realized what it was. I quickly dug through it, using touch alone to find my scruffy old wallet.

I hurried back to the living room in record time, only to find Edward sitting on the couch, one arm over the back, flicking through the channels, too quickly to look like he was actually watching it. Edward didn't seem like much of a TV man, it was startling to look like more of a habit. A _nervous_ habbit.

"Did you leave him outside?" I wondered hopelessly, looking towards the dark window, light catching the rain on the pane. I was already getting the feeling that Edward had sent me off so he could pay without me there to argue it with him. I couldn't see Edward leaving that poor kid out in the rain.

Edward spun, looking startled, and then the guilty expression soothed. He opened his arms for me. The heavy suspicion dropped fully into my stomach, and I sighed, hurt. He gestured for me to come to him again, and I shuffled over.

And then I had a wicked idea.

I rubbed my socked feet on the carpet. Edward's eyes widened, "You wouldn't."

"Huh, imagine that." I quoted him, "You'd had your wallet the whole time."

"I love you." He tried, halfheartedly. I smiled, and touched his hand. We both jumped at the force of the electricity. It sizzled through my skin, clenching the muscles painfully, before dropping into my bones. I hadn't even realized you could generate that much power without sticking your finger in a socket.

Edward pulled me into his lap, enticing another small shock as our clothes rubbed together. "You definitely owe me a kiss for that."

I opened my wallet and brought out my forty dollars. Edward's eyes flickered to my hand, now holding two twenties, and his head fell back in exasperation. He didn't look up after a few seconds so I touched his shoulder. He groaned lowly, "Why can't you just let me love you?"

"I didn't think love cost anything."

Edward laughed out loud at me, raising his head incredulously. "Are you serious? Bella, what do you think dating centers around?"

I raised myself up defiantly, "It centers around getting to know _who_ people are, and if you could be happy with them. Not the depth of your pockets."

Edward grinned and ruffled my hair, "You're so cute. Naïve and cute."

I sighed, tucking myself into his chest, soaking up the warmth. I was warm too, Edward's sweat pants were wonderfully freeing from the skirt I had been wearing before, and much more comfortable. "I don't see what's so wrong with taking some money. It doesn't even cover _half _the bill." When Edward didn't answer right away I tried again, "It would make me feel better." I tried hopefully.

"You do realize we're sitting here arguing pointlessly while Emmett is inhaling food from said bill?" Edward murmured into my hair, suitably distracting me. My stomach made a terrifying sound that was more than just a growl. I thought, for a second, my inner organs were in danger of succumbing to the black hole in the middle of my body.

I allowed Edward to lead me into the kitchen, wallet and bills scrunched up in one hand, the other wrapped in warmth that touched deeper than skin.

It all seemed to be a very normal situation for a moment. Alice was busy serving plates while trying to fend off Emmett's fingers, pivoting like a defenseman in front of him. Edward was getting cutlery and glasses for us, and I was occupying the role of guest. A polite way to say I was useless because I didn't know where anything is, and it was better to keep me out from under foot.

On some queue I didn't catch Edward tensed, followed quickly by Alice and Emmett. Alice stared at Edward cautiously while my eyes flickered between them, not understanding. "Would you like a fly swatter?" Alice said slowly, soothingly.

"Nope." Edward raised a steak knife in his hand, aiming at the opposite wall, and then he threw it so fast that it looked more like a powerful flick of his wrist, like a fluid, invisible magic trick, and then the knife hit the wall, sticking there, and on the end, a little black house fly was impaled against the wall.

Alice sighed and went back to serving. I remembered Edward already explaining this to me, that he _loathed_ flies, that anything that 'laid little white wiggly things' died in his house, but I never would have imagined his obsession so extreme. I knew it shouldn't be, but I thought it was more than a little funny.

And maybe I was impressed with his aim.

"You're cleaning that." Alice grumbled under her breath, shooting pitying looks towards the wall. I wasn't sure if they were aimed at the fly or the paint.

Edward did, and promised at some obscure later date to fix the wall, too. And then dinner was served. The smell hit me when Alice skipped over. Emmet picked a piece of penne out and Alice whipped out a broom. Emmet had the piece of pasts halfway to his mouth when he saw Alice with the broom held above her head. There was a moment or eerie stillness, and then Emmett quickly popped the pasta into his mouth and simultaneously Alice's broom cracked down on top of his head.

During the scuffle, Edward had sneakily loaded his own plate and stole to the table. He handed me a fork and without further adieu, began the glorious act of eating. I hummed happily. "This is the best chicken penne that I have _ever_ had." I managed. Edward nodded, and his eyes rolled back into his head for emphasis.

I laughed at him quietly, and I felt his leg bump mine under the table playfully. I rubbed my ankle against his.

Ankles, I had thought, were such awkward, ungraceful, lumpy things. Not intimate at all, and yet the small bit of contact that touching him brought me made it feel like we were holding hands. Said hands were busy stuffing my face, though I tried not to seem too savage.

My fork scraped my empty plate, and I stared at it mournfully. Edward chuckled, "I'll get us some more."

Alice was halfway through her meal, sitting at the table with us. There were only three chairs at the table, so Emmett leaned against the counter to eat instead. Their conversation didn't reach out to touch Edward and I. Our mouths seemed to always be too full to reply.

Edward stopped at the Styrofoam container, and then lifted it, looking _under it_ in an incredulous manner that made my hopes fall. Then slowly he turned towards the table again, showing us the empty container with obvious confusion. "Did we eat all that food?"

Alice shrugged, "I thought I'd ordered plenty."

Emmett was suddenly very quiet, and I looked to see that his plate was _still_ full though he had been eating with nearly as much vigour as Edward had been. I narrowed my eyes at him, and he made an apologetic gesture at me. He'd gone back for seconds, and being the closest to the food, he hadn't drawn any attention.

Edward hadn't clued in, he had tipped the box a little, seeming to think that if he turned the container upside-down, the food would return. I looked away from Emmett, letting him know I wouldn't rat him out. He grinned back at me thankfully.

Edward sighed and gave up, putting the container back onto the counter.

"Can I raid your fridge?" I wondered, still a little hungry, though the pangs had been replaced by a warm fulfilling feeling.

"Of course." Edward agreed, spinning around towards the fridge. I walked up behind him and grabbed a carrot.

The fridge had some essential foods. Milk, eggs, cheese…chocolate. Lots of chocolate and plenty of sugary foods. I had grabbed one of the few vegetables that looked to have been sitting in there for at least a week.

I took a bit, and was rewarded with a healthy sounding crunch. They were obviously still good then. I happily walked away with my carrot while Edward was staring horrified at the fridge. "Emmett. I'm going to tell you a word, and I want you to respond with the first word that comes to mind."

He turned to face Emmett, arms crossed. "Groceries."

Emmett grinned. "Food."

Edward's lips pursed, and he nodded. "Fair enough. But is all this synthetic sugary crap honestly food?"

Emmett looked offended, he wielded his fork in Edward's direction, "Chocolate is good for your heart."

Edward reached in and pulled out a bag of long colorful candies. I munched thoughtfully on my carrot, while Alice looked at it with a slight distaste, looking more interested in the bag in Edward's hands. "And gummy worms are good for…?"

"Attitude."

Edward considered this, shrugged, and grabbed a handful. Alice looked at him solemnly, "Edward, I think I need an attitude adjustment too." Edward handed her the bag with a grin and then to me.

I showed him my carrot, now carved full of teeth marks. "What's up doc?" Edward grinned, leaned down, and took a bite out of it, taking over half of it in one lethal _crunch_. I stared horrified at the new, bigger, teeth marks embedded into my now decapitated carrot.

I ended up having gummy worms.

Edward quickly stole me out of the kitchen, while Emmett was proudly showing off his grocery shopping skills to Alice. Apparently gummy bears were an entirely different food group from the worms, and helped men build muscle. I think Emmett might have even claimed something about testosterone.

Edward lay down on the couch, pulling me with him, and I gladly joined him. I meant to smile at him, but I ended up yawning instead. Now that I was finally fed, warm, and comfortable in Edward's clothes, I was starting to feel my sleepless night. Edward chuckled, and fell into a comfortable silence. Edward was smiling gently, using one of his arms as a pillow to prop my head up closer to his, while his other hand was gently tracing my features. The curve of my lips, the shape of my nose, the texture of my eyelids….

Something started pulling at my shoulder.

"Stop it." I heard a furious whisper, "She's tired, leave her alone."

I hadn't even realized I was falling into a nap, but my mouth had the sweetly pure cottony taste of sleep. "Can we put shaving cream in her hand?" I heard Emmett ask quietly, pulling on my shoulder again. I realized belatedly he was trying to pull me far enough away from Edward that he could get at my hands.

Edward's arm around me tightened, "If you want to die."

At this, I laughed, peeking a heavy eye open at him. "Edward, you wouldn't hurt a—" I choked off. I'd been about to say fly when I remembered the knife which was currently marinating in bleach in the sink. "—a cat." I choked lamely.

Edward's face twisted oddly, "Why would I hurt a cat?"

"You're rather ruthless when it comes to flies."

Alice ruffled our hair. The gesture was so easy and adolescent, Edward grinned at her. I yawned again, trying to fully wake up when I saw the DVD Alice had in her hands, and then shame flooded my cheeks with heat. "You weren't waiting for me to wake up, were you?"

Edward's features contorted into an apologetic look, his forehead adopting a wrinkle between his brows, a smile that flashed his teeth. "I made them wait."

Automatically, my hand came up to trace the unhappy shape of his lips—soothing under my touch—and next the line on his brow. His eyes closed, and his face was peaceful again. "You could have just woken me up."

Emmett snorted, kicking his feet up onto the couch. "Trust me, _I_ tried." Edward shot him a dark look, his peaceful expression disintegrating into a something much more threatening. Emmett gave him a toothy grin in return.

I sighed, and pressed my lips against Edward's jaw, shaking my head. "I've never had a body guard before. I think I like it."

Edward's easy smile was back, "I _have_ actually been trained."

I felt my eyes widening, and then I sighed. I should know this, but Charlie was more content to talk about the kind of trees you found in Forks, rather than how he could break your arm. If he even knew how. Maybe—though unlikely—Charlie never learned what they were teaching now to people like Edward.

Previews started, and I turned to face the TV. "Are you still hungry?" Edward murmured into my ear, as Alice simultaneously lowered the lights for a cinematic experience. For a moment, it all felt very surreal, to just lay here in his arms, to have his brother and sister sitting with us. I've never experienced having a big family, and I never thought I would. Funny how easy it was to feel at home in someone else's house.

"Are you going into the kitchen?" I wondered, his smile twitched at something humorous, and then he nodded. I examined his expression in the near dark, only the jump of unnatural light on his face and then shrugged. "A little." I whispered. The moving hadn't started yet, but Alice and Emmett seemed happy to watch all the previews like they were an essential to the plot.

Edward climbed expertly over the back of the couch, making it so I hadn't had to move at all. I smiled happily. I heard a cupboard being opened and closed, and then the fridge.

"Edward, man, grab me a beer."

I heard a bottle clink and then the fridge closed and Edward came back into the room with a bowl of grapes and a brand name beer. He tossed—Honestly _threw_ the glass bottle and then lifted my upper body enough to slide in under my head. He gently rested my head down on his warm lap, I sighed happily, feeling myself slowly drifting back into unconsciousness.

This was how it had all started. My head on a stranger's lap, watching the television. All that was missing—Edward started to run his fingers through my hair. I grinned, scene complete.

Something cold and sharp hit my cheek. I jumped, eyes opening to see a beer cap. I looked accusingly at Emmett. He lifted his bottle, grinned a toast, and then took a swig. Long fingers took the bottle cap beside my head, curling it into his fist. I raised an eyebrow at Edward, but he just winked.

Now I'm nervous.

Edward gently ran his hand through my hair, and we watched the movie. The movie was one I had seen before, and Alice had been right, I _had_ enjoyed it. The first two times. As it happens, the movie happened to be Renee's favorite too. It played more often in our house than _Charlie Brown_ does around the holidays.

I turned so I was looking up at Edward instead. He wasn't watching the television either, instead he was scheming. The bottle cap was flipping over his knuckles before disappearing into his fist again. I touched his arm.

His eyes flicked down to me in surprise, "You're not watching the movie?"

He tucked a piece of hair behind my ear, and I held his hand, pressing his palm against my cheek. "I've already seen it…a few times." I murmured.

It was hard to tell in the dark with the cool flicking light from the TV making vague shadows across his face and hiding his eyes in darkness, but he looked upset. "Would you like to watch something else? This is supposed to be for you."

I looked at the huge bulking shadow on the couch, emitting an eruption of laughter at the slapstick. Alice's form—mostly hidden in the corner of the chair—quivered with an almost silent tinkling laughter. A bell silenced by a fog horn. I smiled and looked back at Edward. "They're enjoying it."

Edward looked up, and for a moment I could see his eyes again, transparent turquoise in the light from my angle. And then he looked back down. "You don't mind?"

I shook my head, and turned my head, kissing his hand. His lips quirked up and to the side, "Well then, my love," he gabbed the bowl of grapes he had rested on the arm of the chair, pulling out a small bunch. "Grape?"

I went to pick one off the vine. He dodged my hand, lowering a grape at the bottom of the bunch into my mouth. I giggled quietly, sucking the grape off. We both looked up but Emmett and Alice both were involved with the screen.

Edward continued to feed me, watching my mouth with rapture. "You know," he murmured finally, lowering another grape into my mouth, "I originally got these for me too."

I stopped in the middle of a bite, looking at him to see if he was joking. _He,_ after all, had been feeding _me_. It's not like I had reached into his bowl and stole the grapes from him. Quite the opposite, the only reason I was _letting_ him feed me was because of two very important factors. One, I was still hungry enough to ignore how ridiculous I felt, and two, no one was watching us.

Three, I liked the way Edward was looking at me.

He lowered the last grape from skeletal vine to my lips. Edward hadn't looked like he was joking before, almost annoyed. I opened my mouth hesitantly, and his expression went back to the enchanted expression he had been wearing before. The expression looked all the more surreal in the flicking of lights, his eyes ghostly, skin paled.

I chewed thoughtfully, watching his expression. "I'm sorry; I thought you would have stopped feeding me when you decided you wanted some. I would have shared."

Edward's teeth gleamed a polished white in the light. In the regular light, Edward had the perfect Colgate smile, but in this light, the shine off his teeth was menacing. Why then, was I still attracted? "I'd like to say it's not your fault, but of course it is." He sighed in mock disappointment, "If you weren't so beautiful, I wouldn't be so hungry."

I frowned, "I'm…sorry?" I wasn't quite sure what I was supposed to say to that. The insistent clawing of my stomach—it trying to pull nutrients into itself by force—had finally stopped. Some guest I was; I was eating him out of house and home. "Sorry." I mumbled again, now genuinely sorry.

He chuckled, tucking a stray piece of hair over my ear, shrugging in the same movement. "I like to watch you eat anyways."

Stunned, I stared at him incredulous. "_Why_?" I went back, critiquing how I had been chewing, the way I swallowed…nothing of significance jumped out at me. Besides the fact that eating was just one of _those_ things. Like sleeping or breathing, it wasn't supposed to strike someone as beautiful. Just essential.

Edward hesitated, considering what he liked about my dining mannerisms. "I like the way your mouth moves." He decided, smiling. The smile was one of those infectious smiles that spawned from a pleasant memory. "It's like the way you speak, or…"—his consideration turned into recognition. There was a familiar stirring under my head, an insistent pushing as flesh warmed and hardened. "And uh…the uh…the way you talk in your sleep." He managed. He looked down to gage my reaction, embarrassed.

He'd been trying for romantic, and ended up turned on.

"Did you have a hard time with that last bit?" I wondered, pun intended. I widened my eyes to suggest innocents.

He stared flatly at me. "and I gave you grapes." He shook his head with mock disappointment. Edward lifted me up and then gently moved me aside, standing up. He took the bowl with the grapes skeletal remains into the kitchen. I pretended to watch the movie, while I really had my ears trained for the soft padding of Edward's feet on the carpet.

Just when I thought he might have climbed out the kitchen window to get more food, I heard the subtle sound of the carpet fibers being compressed. I tried to look over the back of the couch like I'd easily heard him, not that I'd been waiting for him.

Me? Desperately, obsessively engrossed in Edward? Nahhh.

He froze when he saw me see him with one foot on the bottom step, then he brought his finger up to his lips. I did as he asked and stayed quiet, but I gave him a questioning look. He flipped the beer bottle cap before catching it in his palm, winking conspiratorially.

Pretending I had just been rolling my neck to get the kinks out, I turned back to the TV, with impressive nonchalance. I was zoned out on the TV, only seeing the colours as I listened for the faintest sound of Edward's feet settling on the floor, a door opening, a booby trap being set….

In all honestly I didn't know what he was doing up there. All I had to go on was a roguish smirk and a bottle cap that Emmett had previously assaulted me with. The more I thought about it, the more worried I became. Edward had already proved himself to be protective. Possessive. Melodramatic.

Oh god, he was going to kill Emmett with a bottle cap.

I bit my lip nervously, seriously considering blowing all his plans to hell to save Emmett. I hadn't considered it a big deal at the time. It was a _favor._ I didn't want to fall asleep on Edward again. _Blinking_ was criminal.

But just as I was about to stand and suggest we all play hide and seek upstairs, I turned to catch the startling sight of Edward slinking down the stairs.

I couldn`t hear his feet hit the carpet. Not the creak of settling wood of even the brush of fabric.

A shiver coursed down my spine. Edward didn`t remind me of a ninja—though the idea of tight fitting black suit was wrecking havoc on my salivatory glands—he seemed to me something entirely more alarming.

He moved like a predator. I shivered again, and realized I was staring quite blankly at Edward. He gave me a smug look. The moment Edward`s eyes caught mine, the not-quite-fear melted away. Not fear I realized as Edward dissolved into the kitchen, but excitement.

A small historical giggle erupted from my lips, getting two very incredulous looks. I noticed a little late that this was the emotional portion of the movie. Alice was going to start crying soon, her ocean eyes misting. Something rang loudly in the kitchen, the sound of a pot being purposely hit against something, and we all jumped.

Edward came out of the kitchen, looking rightfully sheepish. "Sorry, didn't mean to interrupt." He vaulted himself over the back of the couch, back behind me. He was laying down, trying to fit comfortably against me while still managing to fit onto the couch. He ended up curling his knees into the backs of mine, and the only way I could keep myself from eating the floor was to press my body back against him, perfectly moulded to his shape. My backside rested against his hips, one of his hands lying under me while the other was thrown over my waist, keeping me where I was.

I traced the lines in his palm, distracting myself.

Or, that's how it started, at least.

**I am the crappiest author ever, go ahead, tell me how pissed you are that I not only waited almost **_**three**_** months to update, but then cut it off at a place where, really, I could have continued the chapter.**

**My motivation? I miss talking to all of you over reviews. Selfish, yes. But I need a little, **_**tiny**_** break in the overload of school work. Seriously, Grade 12 is the biggest kick in the arse anyone could get. My semester (and it's Ontario, so I only have four classes a semester) Are as follows: Ahem..Biology (crap load of work) English (Here essay essay essay...) Math (It's an eight letter word, and it's not bullshit, but very close. H-O-M-E-W-O-R-K.) But my last is physical education, so I caught a break there. ^_^ Thank you for all your patience, and for listning to all my whining, because, you know, I have it **_**soooo**_** bad :P**

**Oh, (one more thing, promise) For anyone that was wondering about the one shot Gesture Me Home…it`s going to be a two shot. ^_^ Not a story, just a two shot, but I hope you can all enjoy it. I'll **_**try**_** to get it out asap, but I want to finish this super **_**long**_** day first. I think Edward and Bella have been trapped in the same day for about five months now. **

**Thanks for reading.**


	14. Chapter 14

**Babysitting 14**

**Teeny Tiny Twilight**

I had his had in mine, laying on the couch watching a movie that I could recite the words to effortlessly, with a warm solid body pressed against my back. There was something in the feel of his hand in mine that made my heart stutter a nervous beat. I almost laughed at the sensation, butterflies after everything, just because his hand was in mine. I was pathetic.

I traced the lines there, exploring the paths of his life, his love, his thoughts. I think I might have been getting his head line mixed up with his heart line though, because what I was sure was his heart line didn't seem to exist for a few centimeters, barely visible with small loops, almost chainlike, and then suddenly it was _there_. Thick and deep and curving, it ran away from his head line (or was it his heart line?) but it only became deep when it hit his fate line.

I sighed, letting go of his hands to trace his fingers instead. The room was dark, and I hardly knew anything on palm reading. I was trying to see something that wasn't there. I sighed, playing with his fingers.

"I think I'm going to need that back." He breathed in my ear, wiggling his fingers. "My hand is falling asleep."

I lifted myself up, giving him his hand back, before turning to face him. My body blocked the light from the TV, while the back of the couch hid us from the seeking yellow light of the kitchen. Edward was saturated with shadows, his face entirely hidden in them.

At least my eyes were starting to adjust. With the position I was in, the light from the television at my back, shrouding me in darkness, Edward's eyes wouldn't adjust to the shadows around my face. There was too much light at my back.

Deeper than a shadow, Edward's head moved closer to mine. His lips touched my cheek, and then hunted down to my mouth, feeling the shape of my lips. It was a vain attempt to gage my expression, my lips were open slightly in anticipation for his kiss, my fingers trembling at they sought him out.

His lips pressed against mine, and for the single longest moment of my life, he didn't move. And suddenly his lips were pulled up into one of his quick smiles. "What are you thinking?" He whispered against my mouth in the softest breath. A warm summer breeze settling on my lips and caressing my skin.

I considered for a moment, trying to unscramble my thoughts from the haze they had fallen into. "Your lips are soft." I managed drunkenly, "Or something about your hands, I think."

He chuckled, and then moved his lips against mine in a soft kiss.

I have never smoked a day in my life, having _smelt_ some of my mom's boyfriends, nor have I ever put an illegal drug into my body before, but suddenly, I knew what it felt like to _need_ something to the point of pain. Like an addiction, even while being consumed by it, I wanted more.

It was no longer just because of idle hands that I took his hand now. He pulled away for a moment at the suddenness of the gesture, and my eyes snapped open, staring at the shadow of his form. My hands moved over his skin, drinking in the sensation of his skin under my hands. Every molecule in my body threatened to come apart if he wasn't there to stabilize me. My hands moved up his arm, memorizing the feeling of the muscles under his skin, the strong curve as his arm blended into his shoulder. His muscles shuddered when my hands touched his neck, tracing the tendons until I felt his jaw, tracing around to the back of his head, my hands memorizing the texture of his hair.

Everything was different in the darkness. My eyes useless, my other senses had kicked in. The masculine scent of his skin, naturally tinged with the sweet, almost sharp smell of cinnamon, and the newer smell of ocean. The salt from the sweat on his skin, still clean since it hadn't been there long enough for bacteria to make it smell sour. There was the heat from his body, warmer now that his heart beat was forcing the blood through his veins with new haste. I could hear the ragged tempo of his breaths, blowing saturated heat against my mouth.

I swear I could almost hear his heart. Hearing mine though was a cheat to know his tempo. My hand moved up under his shirt anyways, touching his chest, feeling the strong hurried beat as it jumped around, battling his ribcage.

Like the electric current from the carpet had resurfaced from my bones, my muscles clenched in my arm without my permission, clenching my hand into his hair and bringing his face to mine. If he was put off by the forceful need of the kiss, he made no move to stop it, kissing me back with just as much vivacity. Encouraged, I grabbed his bottom lip.

In my teeth.

Something about this should have scared Edward. I mean, it was _me_ and teeth. He had my dentals imprinted in his shoulder. I had a tooth fetish. I wonder if they have anonymous classes for that. Rather than stop, or try to reclaim his mouth, he groaned quietly, pulling my hips closer to him.

Emmett suddenly laughed and I jumped, slipping back into sanity. Right, we were on the couch, Edward's brother six feet from us, Alice just a little farther away. When no comment followed the laugh I realized it was the movie he was laughing at, and I immediately released Edward's lip, trying to disengage myself before the strange intensity returned and I groped him again.

"No," Edward groaned, rolling on top of me, trying to reanimate scary Bella.

Funny thing about being rolled onto your back when you're laying precariously on the edge of a couch. Even when you are absolutely _positive_ you`re securely positioned.

Gravity kicks in.

Horney as hell, startled by my sudden attack, and disorientated by the fact we weren`t in a queen bed that I could lay across comfortably, side to side. Edward didn`t have the ability to try and roll us before we hit the floor; the solid weight of his body landed on me.

My ribs were surprisingly flexible.

I think they managed to pierce my lungs in six places each, and keep the impossibly painful angle they were bowed into without snapping. What didn`t survive the fall was my pelvis, Edward`s erection hard enough to chisel through bone grooving a mark.

There was a dull ringing in my ears, but I wasn`t sure if that was due to hitting my head off the deceivingly solid floor, or the kiss. The throbbing ache at the base of my skull was definitely from the fall.

_Now_ we had both Emmett and Alice`s attention. Edward was still in a kind of shock I think, because he didn`t lift his weight off me immediately. After oxygen-less moment, he lifted himself a few inches off me.

"Oh God, Bella." I could only see half his face from the television light, but what I could see was warped into an expression of the deepest kind of horror. The expression someone wears after watching their car keys being dropped down a storm drain.

Alice wore a similar expression, though not nearly as possessive. I think she had been crushed enough in her youth, growing up with two brothers, to be able to empathise with me.

I couldn't see Emmett, and that scared me.

"…Hear me? Bella? Did I hurt you? Can you breath?" Edward had obviously been talking while all the endorphins in my body worked to combat the throbbing in my head, or the ache in my ribs, finally having been allowed to snap back into place.

I filled my lungs with air, and nodded. And then Edward's weight dropped back onto me, three times heavier this time. All the air I had sucked into my lungs was forced back out, burning my throat. I started hitting Edward's shoulder with my fist, desperately seeking air. I stopped suddenly. In a leap of intuition, I knew where Emmett was.

The air hissed out of Edward's teeth, and his arms were beside my head, trying to lift Emmett off us. "Get _off_." He growled in frustration. He struggled, grinding me further into the carpet.

Alice was there too, pulling my arm to get me out from under the pile of bodies. "You're pulling my arm out of its socket." I managed to gasp with my last breath. Let Edward do the talking from here forth, I needed the rest of my oxygen to stay conscious.

"Sorry Bella," Emmett apologized, "This is only for Edward." I managed to nod. Emmett was apparently filling out his brotherly duties. That and he was kind of irked that Edward had snapped and bitched at him and Alice to wait over an hour until I woke up to watch the movie. Finding out Edward wasn't even watching the movie had cinched our fate.

It would have been funnier if I wasn't at the bottom of the pile. And breathing helped my sense of humour too. Stars started to dance in front of my eyes. "I can't breath." I managed in a thin voice, exhausting the last of my air supply.

Edward's eyes widened in horror, and then he started to thrash, fighting desperately to get himself off my chest. "_You are hurting her_." He cried, his voice hit a desperate key.

Emmett was instantly off us, and rolling Edward away with one powerful swat. I sucked in air, the white spots in my vision turning black. I was sure I was going to pass out when I felt the world shifting, only to realize that Emmett had picked me up off the floor to gently place me onto the couch.

"Sorry." He apologized with an impish grin. It looked out of place on a body capable of such terrifying strength. "It's hard to catch Edward off guard though. You happen to be a suitable distraction."

It was still muggy up in my head, his words running like incomprehensible black text behind my eyes. "Glad I could help." I finally managed after a moment, smiling back weakly.

Emmett ruffled my hair, and then gave me a serious brotherly look. "Now watch your movie or I'll come after you next." He threatened, wiggling his finger in front of my eyes.

I blinked up at him, trying to figure out why he was so big, until I realized that Edward was part of that momentous shape, trying to get past Emmett's bulk. My eyes followed Emmett's finger, contemplating how serious the threat was, and the likeliness of outrunning him.

I figured my chances were about as good as him being able to catch me. Edward finally lost his patience, and pushed Emmett out of the way. He crouched by my side in a protective manor. My head was starting calm, the spots were disappearing and reality was slowly grounding itself again. "Emmett," Edward began patiently, touching my arm in the softest of touches, acting like I had suddenly become as fragile as glass. "Bella isn't as durable as I am; she never grew up with brothers. Please, all I ask is that you handle her with care."

Personally, I considered this a tiny bit hypocritical. Edward hadn't exactly been gentle at times. Not that I minded in the least, but he should have realized by now that I bounce back pretty easily. Besides the fact that _Emmett_ hadn't been the one to roll me off the couch in the first place.

Cough, cough—_Edward_.

Emmett's face immediately changed to chagrin, and he stared at me with intense apology. Edward's intentions had been good, of course, but I really wasn't hurt, and Emmett didn't need to feel bad.

"Edward, I'm fine." I tried to tell him. Edward, at this, launched into his assessment, probing my ribs, my head. Emmett sank deeper into his remorseful gloom.

"You have a nasty bump starting there." He murmured, touching a tender area of my skull. Emmett's face reflected the information like Edward had told him I'd flat lined.

This was ridiculous. I grabbed Edward's hand frantically, startling him. "Oh no, Edward, not a _bump! _I see the light. I'm going towards the light." I squeezed his hand harder. "Never forget...me." I dropped limply, letting my tongue loll out the side of my mouth, my eyes rolling back into my head.

Alice, jumped in, happy to play along. She took my hand from Edward's patting it gently, and then touching my forehead. "She's gone."

I peeked up at her, she was looking at Emmett in mock sadness, and suddenly Emmett didn't look so guilty anymore. I snickered lowly, followed by Alice's tinkling laughter. The moment Emmett's laugh started though—deep enough to feel through the floor and loud enough to shake a house—we fell into uncontrolled laughter.

Edward, not amused at being the butt of the joke, laughed half heartedly, and then sighed. I sat up, still smiling, and Edward rested his head in my lap. I went to touch his hair, but suddenly I was being lifted into the air, and Edward was suddenly taller than me again.

I sucked in a startled breath as everything spun sickeningly again for a moment before settling. Emmett was quick to take our place on the couch. The love seat he had been encompassing wasn't really designed for someone his size.

"Good night." Edward called musically over his shoulder, starting up the stairs.

Emmett and Alice both simultaneously bid us goodnight, and I sighed, resting comfortably in his arms. Or as comfortable as someone could be when being carried up a steep flight of stairs. I reached out when we passed his insomnia room.

Edward paused deliberating. "Books?"

"No, the _Stairmaster_."

Edward looked at me, shocked for a second. "Really?"

I shot him a look, "Me, baggy clothes, and machinery. Who do you honestly think is going to come out of this alive?"

He shot me my favourite smile, "I wouldn't let the stairs get you."

I grimaced at the thought of my knees. "Too late." I grumbled under my breath. Edward looked curiously down at me, but I just shook my head.

He managed to open the door to the library with me still in his arms, and then finally set me down. I immediately felt a magnetic pull towards the bookshelf on the right side of the room. The spines there were more colourful, brighter and enticing. The whole library seemed to be organized from favourite, to informative—the dictionary, medical journals and law texts all on the left. And then by years. Or maybe it was the other way around. It was hard to tell.

Edward trailed after me, hands on my waist. I read the titles, trailing my finger under each one. I would have been able to concentrate more on what the titles if Edward's lips weren't making paths from the shell of my ear to my collar bone.

I leaned into him, tilting my neck to the side to give him better access. "You're making it hard to concentrate." I whispered, feeling myself slipping.

He hummed, but otherwise gave no indication of hearing me. "I can stop if you would really like." He murmured finally, and I shivered despite how warm his breath was against my throat.

In answer I touched his hands around my waist, keeping them there. There was another long silence as Edward explored the benefits of my not having a bra on, trailing his fingers along the sensitive area just under my breasts. "You know Edward...I'm think I'm tired." I murmured, feeling him pressed into me.

Edward stopped kissing me, his hands dropping from their ministrations. "Oh." His shoulders fell in disappointment. "Okay." He kissed my cheek, "I'll meet you in a moment."

He started to move away from me, and startled I grabbed his hand. "Where are you going?" I wondered, confused.

Edward hesitated, "I have to...quickly use the bathroom before I join you." He rubbed the back of his neck, glancing at me in apology.

I laughed when I realized what had happened. "No, Edward, I'm tired, as in, I want to go to bed." I enunciated the last part so he would get my drift. I was still falling into the swing of physical affection. I forgot that the two biggest ways to turn down sex was 'I have a head ache' or 'I'm tired'.

Whops?

Edward laughed, scooping me up into his arms again, relieved. "You scared me for a minute there. I thought I did something wrong."

I rolled my eyes at that last part. Because he was so imperfect, making mistakes left and right? Insert snort here. "And there hasn't been enough sex today because...?"

"There are only twenty-four hours in a day."

"Technically." I agreed. It hadn't felt like the day had been passing slowly before, but I suddenly realized that it _had_ been a long day. (_**Author snickers**_)

Edward carried me to his room, and then lightly laid me on his bed. He pulled his shirt off, and then his socks before letting his pants pool around his ankles. I watched Edward, admiring the movement of his muscles.

Edward, clad in only his boxers watched me with amusement. "Would you like me to undress you too?" He wondered, and then before I could stumble over my embarrassment to answer him, or even to fully blush, he was crawling into bed beside me, beginning to pull the not-quite-mine shirt over my head.

He flashed a grin that was all white teeth and dark intentions, and then I remembered something else that had been starting, and was most definitely dark now. I quickly clicked the light out by his bedside.

It flicked back on a moment later, Edward's expression confused, the dark smile now a perplexed frown. "But I can't see you in the dark."

"We'll go by touch." I assured him, clicking the light off again.

There was an exasperated sigh above me in the darkness, and I knew I didn't have much time before the lights were on again. I ripped the shirt off in one movement, and in the next I was hiding my bruised midsection under the covers. Edward turned the light back on, just as I had expected in time to see me throw the last of my clothing over the side of the bed, marks secreted from him.

He raised an eyebrow at me, "Can I ask?"

"No."

Edward sighed again, slipping under the covers with me. I turned so he was spooning me. "What are you hiding from me?" His breath tickled my ear.

Everything, I realized. Anything that could potentially hurt him. He was silent, waiting for an answer. When he realized he wasn't getting one, he leaned his chin against my shoulder, the other snaking around my waist. "Please?" He whispered against my ear, his voice dropping into a huskier tone. His hand moved further south, moving between my legs.

My breath caught, my eyes shutting tightly in anticipation. "Can I make you scream it?" he wondered calmly, as if speaking only to himself. I shook my head, unable to articulate a response. "Well," he chuckled darkly, "We'll see."

He moved one of his legs between mine. I was shivering, but rather than give me a moment to let my body catch up to his words, he fit himself securely against me, and I was suddenly reminded of how much bigger he was compared to me. I guess it should have made me feel smaller, or more fragile, but all it did was warm me, secure me to something solid when all of this felt like a dream. I felt like the matching piece of the puzzle rather than the abnormality that forced itself into a place.

He moved his leg, angling it so that he spread my legs. He moved his fingers through my sex, silently gloating his effect on me while thoroughly lubricating his fingers in the same instant. With his other hand he pulled on my hair enough to pull my face back to him, exposing my neck, without causing me pain.

He watched my heavy lidded eyes, my breathing laboured when he was touching me like this. "You are the most beautiful creature I have ever seen." He whispered, dipping two fingers into me. My face twisted in pleasure, my spine arching. He groaned, moving his lips to my throat, nipping and sucking.

He was moving his fingers in a tortuous slowness, taking his time. He was pressed against me too tightly for me to reciprocate the torment; instead I bucked into his hand, trying to make him move deeper, faster. _Anything_ as long as it was more.

He curled his fingers, and then had to drop his hand from my hair to restrain my writhing. "And you are sure there is nothing you want to tell me?" He wondered, still moving with agonizing slowness, curling his fingers randomly for sudden bursts of intense spine curling pleasure.

I clenched my teeth. I was having trouble remembering why it had been so important before for him not to see the bruises. I mean, wouldn't he see them anyways eventually? After a while he would grow impatient and just roll me over onto my back and look.

Rationality threw out a last ditch effort for the argument. _It might kill the mood_ a sly part of my brain countered. A frustrated sound escaped me. Edward laughed by my ear, watching me war between myself. "Really Bella, is my reaction going to be _that_ terrifying?" He listened to the answering silence. "_Trust me_." He purred.

I could feel a brief moment of indecision, and then he slid his erection along the outside of my entrance, trying to tease me into submission. It might have pushed me over the edge to if he hadn't hesitated. In that one moment of his muscles tensing—trying to control himself—he had slipped and showed just how badly he wanted to be inside me.

The odds were suddenly tipping in my favour.

I clenched my teeth against a victorious smile and I moved my hand behind his head, pulling our mouths together. He stopped just short of my lips, grinning. I imagined he thought that this was me flying the white flag. I was actually a little disappointed he thought that I would give up that easily. Then his mouth was on mine, parting my lips.

Despite myself, I shivered, tasting his breath mingling with mine. His fingers sped up, and I cried out into his mouth, my back arching. My hand fisted in his hair, crushing my mouth against his. He didn't seem to mind, curling his fingers in just the right places. And just as quickly as he had started, he stopped, relapsing into the slow and steady rhythm.

I could have killed him in that moment, beginning to consider revising my plan to get my hands around his throat instead. The wash of infuriation was enough to clear my mind enough to realize he was suitably distracted.

I moved my hand down to where his was before he could realize what I was doing. Very lightly, I moved my finger tips down his wrist, over the back of his hand, until I reached where his fingers disappeared inside me. I couldn't help but open my eyes, just to judge his expression to see whether I was caught or not.

He was staring at me when I opened my eyes. Not in smug accusation or confusion, but in a dark, deep seated _need_ that darkened his eyes from emerald to a deep jade. I was precisely aware when his fingers stopped moving, and yet it was still only a minute after the information had been absorbed that I was able to move again. I pressed his hand harder against me, pressing him deeper. My eyes fluttered half closed at the feeling, of his reaction.

He groaned, and then his hand was gone. For half a second I thought my plan had back fired, but then both his hands were on my waist, his leg angled between mine so that it was spread, hitched back against his hip. In the moment of entry, I had to bite back a scream. He held me in place while he thrust up hard again and again until he could gain enough control to fall into a more lasting pace.

There was the strangest tingling sensation on the back of my neck where Edward was breathing my name quietly as a mantra. In between groans I realized he was whispering something else too, incomprehensible as it was, I caught Edward's favourite words a few times. Love being at the top of the list.

He groaned, louder than before, and then his hands were moving. I fully expected him to take full advantage of regaining the use of his hands to holding my leg up against his hip so he could move more comfortably. Honestly I should know him better than that by this point. His sole purpose in life was to explain to a judge that it isn't exactly _murder_ if I died from pleasure.

One of his capable hands gently tingled across my breast before his control slipped again and he grabbed me roughly, pumping hard. This time I couldn't help it.

I screamed.

The moment he remembered restraint his hand pulled mine down to where we were connected. "Do you have any idea what it feels like to be the only person to _ever_ be inside you?" He breathed, getting me to show him exactly what to do with his hand between my legs.

I wasn't able to give anything that could be even a _semblance_ of an answer. The connection between my mouth and my brain was broken. My mouth went on autopilot. "Edward." was all it was programmed to say.

"You are heaven. The fragile separation between divinity and humanity." He interrupted himself with a groan, moving my trembling fingers to feel him sliding inside me. "I am nothing short of a _god_ inside you." He whispered against my ear, the skin tingling unnecessarily at the sensory overload. "Out side of you, I'm human again. And nothing feels more right, you absolutely celestial fucking being."

I had never been good at words to begin with, and even with a clear head, I wouldn't have been able to reciprocate with anything verbal to that, so instead I tried to reach around to fondle him. The hand that had been holding mine moved to catch me quickly. "Do I need to cuff you?" He growled.

I put my hands to uses that wouldn't wind me in shackles. Moving my hair out of the way so he could kiss my neck. The curl of pleasure twisting my abdomen into knots was startling in its intensity. The threat of cuffs momentarily slipped my mind, and I grabbed his hand again, pressing it harder, showing him how I needed to be touched as bliss dictated.

He groaned something against my neck, shifting his angle slightly, and I was gone. In the whole parade of colours and twisting and uncurling and clenching of it all, I was aware of the orgasm leaving me in the form of warmth.

Edward made a half sound of shock, before it turned into one of pure rapture. His hand left my breast to pull my hair back enough to get his mouth back on mine, his tongue slipping between my lips. He buried himself fully, and then his own orgasm left him, mimicking mine. Or mine to his, I guess, since he learned how to do it first.

Edward pulled out of me without separating our lips, and—by instinct—I turned towards him, my hands twisting in his hair as I struggled to get mine out of the way. I smiled against his lips when he wrapped his hand around the small of my back, pressing me tightly back against him. It was a little early for an encore, and I needed a few minutes anyways to remember how to pull air into my lungs in regular intervals.

He smiled back in response, pulling away to stare at me blissfully. I rested my head in the crook of his shoulder. "We need a way to celebrate," He murmured, eyes glowing, "Other than my laying you lazy."

True to his words, I felt lazy, like I could fall into a sleep at any moment. There was a constant pleasure still humming around my body and through my bones. "Celebrate?" My voice came out sleepy, it hardly rose enough at the end to make the word come out sounding like a question.

"You can ejaculate when I'm _inside_ you. That's—well actually since this whole weekend is starting to feel surreal—not really so surprising in hindsight; still a miraculous turn of events though if I do say so myself."

He was rambling, but I liked the sound of his voice so I waited until I was sure he was finished talking to respond. "Was I not supposed to be able to do that? Am I supposed to be...limited to oral sex only with this?" and then because I understood what he meant about how surreal the whole thing was I started imagining breakfast tomorrow. "Do I get pancakes?"

When he didn't answer right away, I kissed his chest to let him know I was kidding. Sort of.

Still nothing.

I raised my head languidly, and Edward was staring at my stomach in a dull kind of horror.

He figured out my secret.

His hand moved down to trace the canvas that was my stomach, littered with deep colours, making the surrounding skin look pathetically pale. He never actually touched my skin though, pulling back immediately. "You can have all the pancakes you want." Edward assured me, the previous bliss had melted into a guilty, remorseful look.

I pulled the sheets over the marks, separating us at the same time. "Sorry." I murmured.

Edward barked out a surprised laugh, his expression disbelieving. "I beat the living hell out of you and _you_ apologize?"

I blushed, about to move away from him. He wasn't having that. With a grand eye roll he pulled me back into him, resting my head into his shoulder again. "Just because I think you are ridiculous doesn't mean I want to let you to go."

I wrinkled my nose at him, "You're just full of complements tonight." I felt him laughing quietly, and I sighed, kissing his shoulder. And then his throat. And it really wasn't fair to ignore his chest when it smelt as good as it did.

Edward sighed, rolling onto his back and taking me with him. His fingers started to move across my back, drawing patterns. "Sorry for causing all the internal bleeding." He murmured up to the ceiling.

I shook my head at his ridiculousness. "I'm not bleeding internally, it's a bruise." Then I reconsidered the surety of my answer when I realized he had the whole medical school thing under his belt while I had second year biology. "Isn't it?"

Edward was silent, his lips pursed. "What would you do if you only had an hour to live?" he asked eventually.

I sat bolt upright, "What did you _do_ to me?" I cried in mock horror. Edward shot me a look, and I flashed him a big smile, resting down with him again. "I don't know. Stay here with you?" I let my finger move gently across his chest, feeling the heat of his skin tingling in the tips of my fingers.

Edward hummed contently, "I could live with that. For an hour." We stayed like that for a long time, my eyes starting to flutter closed. Sleep was becoming more and more alluring the longer I stayed here. "Are you asleep?" Edward whispered.

"No."

"Would you like to wash up with me then?"

I considered, the warm bed and sleep, or being jolted awake by the spray of the shower. "Tomorrow?"

Edward chuckled, "I'll be back." He promised kissing my head, and then getting out of bed. I pushed away the loss when I heard the bathroom door shut, reassured that he'd be back soon enough. But then the bed seemed to cool down, and suddenly a shower sounded better than the lone bed. I groaned and gave up.

When I walked in, the shower hadn't been going very long, so I figured I'd have a good chance of still being welcomed in. He must have heard me come in, but he didn't make any noise to say that he had. I hesitated, then realized it would be worse to wait—naked and cold—outside his shower to be acknowledged. Kind of serial killer like.

I closed the door, "I've changed my mind." I sighed, stepping into the shower with him. His face was turned up into the spray, water moving down across his skin. I watched a particular rivet, and a peculiar desire to lick it hit.

He moved to make room for me, his hands gliding from my shoulders down to my arm. And then unexpectedly, he turned the water off.

He grinned, stepping out of the shower. Now dripping naked, cold, wet and confused, I think I was better off alone in bed. He pulled the shower curtain aside, officially putting me on display.

He saw the confused hurt on my face, and his smile widened. "Come on, out you get." I considered sitting down in the tub in rebellion, then sighed and stepped out. He twisted the curtain together before wrapping it around the bar that held it up.

I wrapped my arms around myself, shivering now, and only realized what Edward was doing when he pushed the plug in and started running the water. We were having a bath. I wasn't sure if I appreciated the gesture more or less now that I was shaking cold. Or whether I was going to forgive him right away for that matter.

Edward noticed my lips pulling a chameleon act—pink, to pale, to purple...—and pulled me into his arms. I shot him a dark look, making sure to cover my breasts. "You could have told me _before_ I got wet that you wanted a bath."

"You could have told me _before_ I started my shower that you wanted to join me."

I stuck my tongue out at him, and he returned my petulance with a pinch. The little pool of water that had started around my feet was quickly dropping in temperature, and my toe nails started to change colour along with my lips. The moment the water had reached a satisfactory level for Edward, he turned off the tap and helped me in.

I sighed happily, as the chill was chased away by the temperature of the water. The moment I warmed up, my irritation at Edward melted away. I rested my head back against him. The tub was a regular proportioned bath, which would have worked out nicely if Edward were a regularly proportioned man and not a good three inches taller than six feet. His knees had to be bent to fit in, even when I was lying between his legs, trying to be space efficient. I worked water over his exposed legs every few minutes to keep them warm.

Edward soothed his hand over my hair. The next best thing to actually running his fingers through the wet tangled mess. He shifted behind me suddenly, something I didn't think much of until I smelled the reassuring scent of strawberries. I looked up to see a familiar bottle in his hand, the cap opened.

I blinked. "You stole my shampoo?"

Edward grinned, not at all repentant. "No, it just happened to...fall into my cart one day at the grocery store."

"You stalked my toiletries?"

Edward made a face at me, "Wet your hair." He ordered.

I sucked in a breath, and then hesitated. "You don't have some kind of freaky hair fetish, do you?" And then he pushed my head under water.

I came up coughing, blindly throwing an elbow out at him. I connected with hardened muscle. Edward didn't even grunt. "You have to watch you don't slip again, Bella." Edward chastised with too much care in his voice.

I coughed up the last of the water in my lungs. "I'll try to be more careful." I answered in a chilled voice.

He smirked, and then squeezed a dollop of pink shampoo into his palm. He looked at all my hair, then added another little bit. I closed my eyes so I didn't end up 'slipping' again and getting shampoo in my eyes. He worked the pink lather into my hair, being careful enough that I don't even think he let any shampoo get onto my forehead. I relaxed into the scalp massage, and Edward kindly gave me warning before dunking my head under again to rinse the bubbles out.

When I came back out—hair squeaky clean—Edward wasn't done. He grabbed a new bottle, the flowery body wash he had used yesterday. He lathered his hands again, rubbing my shoulders, my breasts, my stomach, my arms, my breasts, pulling my legs one by one out of the water to rub them and my feet before returning to my breasts just to make sure he didn't miss a spot. I laughed, he was kissing my neck and massaging the body wash into my skin. I slid under the water to wash it all off, and when I came up again, Edward's lower lip was out, pouting at me now that he didn't have a legitimate reason to grope me.

I cupped some water into my hands, and then poured the contents over his head. The lower lip came back into a curious smile. I kept wetting his hair until it was satisfactorily sodden, and then grabbed my shampoo.

Edward looked up at a bottle of a manlier looking black and dark green bottle. I got the hint, and sat up to get it. The water was cooling; the steam had been stolen by the cool air. Not even the waves of my moving managed to pull up any of the warmer water.

I started rub the shampoo into his hair. Instead of smelling like my fruity shampoo, it smelled like _Axe_ or one of those brand name colognes that only smelled good if you didn't bath in it. But because it _did_ smell good, and I liked the way his hair felt even silkier—if it was possible—between my fingers with the soap, and that Edward trusted me enough to keep his eyes open to watch me even when there was burning soap just inches above his eyes. I kissed him.

He kissed me back for a long moment, and then grimaced, pulling away. "My scalp is itching."

"Oh, sorry." I moved so he could rinse his hair out. And then moved back against him in the limited space, resting my head happily in the crook of his shoulder. "How adverse are you to carrying me out of here?"

Edward considered this, smiling ruefully, "Are you going to fall asleep?"

I sighed happily, cuddling against him. "Probably." I admitted.

Edward chuckled, and pulled the pug, getting us out of the bath. Rather than let me dry myself, he took great enjoyment out of doing it himself. He laughed when he saw all my hair at the bottom of the tub.

It had been a long day, my body informed me as Edward carried me into bed. If that was so though, then why did I want more time? I wished I could get by with as little sleep as Edward did if it meant I'd be able to keep my eyes open just a bit longer...

"Good night." Edward whispered into my ear, curling me against him.

I smiled, and murmured something akin to good night back at him before slipping into unconsciousness.

**A/N: ^_^ it took me less than a month to update. Aren't you proud? Thank you to everyone for reviewing, it makes me smile. **


	15. Edward's first night

**First Night**

**Teeny Tiny Twilight**

_(This is kind of out of nowhere, but this is Edward's first night at Bella's house.)_

Dammit, this was _exactly_ what I had signed up to be a police officer for, and I was being sent to _babysit_. I thought the word with the same disgust reserved for filthy, defiling expressions.

An armed break in. As in _guns_, and _excitement_, and the adrenalin rush of it all. But I was new, and that meant Charlie had immediately pegged me for being jittery and trigger happy. No matter that I had the medical experience to save the person I had shot, or that I was in better shape than half the town, not to mention the other officers. They were—I admit grudgingly—kind and sympathetic, but more doughy around the midsection than the Pillsbury dough boy.

All of this would have been _almost_ forgivable if he had sent me home, but he had given me the task of caring for his daughter. He claimed that I was there to keep her company, to keep her safe from all the terrible dangers of forks. It was laughable to think that other than this one solitary instance, there was any actual danger in this safe little town.

No, I was sure I was being sent because _I_ was the one who needed to be watched in case I felt the need to breach an order and show up at the scene anyways. And risk a huge punishment that could land me in a lot more trouble than the possible reward if I _did_ save the day.

I sighed, I had an inkling that the chief's daughter was a bit of a brat. Just from my experience, children's parents who obsessed about them as much as Charlie did about Isabella usually became the spoiled type. Not to mention that she had lived with her mother for most of her life. She probably moved back in with daddy because mommy wouldn't buy her a pony. I grimaced. This was going to be a fun night.

From all of Charlie's stories, she didn't _seem_ like that, but his perception of his kin was obviously skewered. He still mourned over his wife that had left him seventeen years ago. Though I felt for him, I thought that maybe he should have moved on by now. I had never truly felt that unquenchable need for another person other than my family. Maybe that's why I didn't understand his obsession with the past. Or maybe therapy was in order. I could set him up with my sister. I considered the look on Charlie's face if he ever found out I had sent him to a shrink as I pulled into Swan's drive way, and grinned.

I knocked on the old thick wooden door that was probably as old as the house itself. The windows looked pretty ancient too.

Nothing.

I frowned and knocked again, but again I was met with silence. My mood brightened marginally. Charlie had said he had asked Isabella to wait up for me—to which I had internally cringed—but maybe she had gone to bed instead.

I smiled, and whistling a low tune now, I grabbed the key under the eve and unlocked the door. I stopped making too much sound when I actually walked into the house. I didn't trust my luck to last with a day like this.

I was right. Isabella—or whom I assumed to be Isabella—was sleeping on the couch, long dark hair spilling over the edge of the couch. Her palms were pressed together under her cheek, full red lips open and relaxed in sleep.

Curious, I stepped farther into the room, cocking my head at her. Honestly, not what I expected. I thought I would have been met with straightened blond hair, maybe a little chubby like her father. Her hair wasn't even straightened. I could see a natural curl to it, looking silky soft like it had never been dried by the harsh heat of a straightener, or even regularly blow-dried.

I took another step forward, a bizarre pull towards the girl, like trying not to walk down a steep hill. I jumped a full foot and a half in the air when she spoke. "What if he doesn't like me?"

I opened my mouth and then shut it. She didn't turn to face me, but seeing as no other person was in the room, it must have been me. "I—uh, I'm not sure who you're talking about." I stuttered my startled heart leaping in my chest.

"The rain's too loud," she slurred, more sleep like now, "turn it off."

I let out a startled chuckle, one hand over my chest. Sleep talking. Only sleep talking, and yet I was a tiny bit disappointed. It would have been easier to pass the night with someone to talk too. And suddenly, talking to this strange, almost pretty girl who spoke in her sleep wouldn't as bad as I thought it would be.

Isabella curled in on herself, a slight shiver shaking her shoulders and down her spine.

I had been planning to sit on the arm of the couch and listen to more of her dreams, amused by the random remarks. Now I felt the strange desire to care for the small creature before me. I briefly considered pulling her into my lap and acting as her blanket, but expelled the thought quickly. Not a good idea. I knew that.

I took an unwilling step back, now having to walk back _up_ the sleep hill that was pulling me towards her. Fighting gravity as it were. I searched the first floor, but didn't find any closets that held any spare blankets. I took the stairs as quietly as I could while still trying to be quick. Another peculiar desire to hurry back to the girl was weaving my search with impatience.

At the top of the stairs I looked at a closed door that was obviously a bed room. I passed that one by and turned to the right instead. Another bedroom, but this one's door was open, and there on the bed was an old looking handmade quilt. And it was exactly what I was looking for.

I stopped at the threshold. I could see, even in the dark that this was a girl's room. I was taking, by the much lived in look with clothes scattered in chaotic neatness that it was Isabella's.

I was suddenly an intruder here.

Dammit, I wanted that quilt!

I jumped, landing and balancing myself on one foot on her hard wood, while simultaneously reaching for the blanket. The theory was obviously flawed, but I felt that the less I touched in her room, the less of an intruder I was. I had to take an unwilling second step and infringe further into the girl's privacy before I could lean far enough to hook my middle finger in the fabric and drag it over towards me. I then quickly hopped out of her room with as few steps as possible.

Downstairs, I gently laid the blanket over the girl, and then took a seat near her head, taking the remote off the arm of the couch, do doubt left by Charlie after the mariner's game last night. Her toes were sticking out, and I reached over to tuck the quilt around her. I was a little embarrassed over my sudden doting. This kind of treatment was usually reserved for my girlfriends or the women in my family when they were sick.

I pursed my lips. _Don't do it_. My rational mind warned me. This time I didn't listen.

I pulled her so her head rested on my lap, her hair now spilling over my legs. She sighed, and one of her hands came up to rest on my leg just before my knee. I blinked down at her fondly, and suddenly the desire to be in the middle of battle, fighting for glory, slowly dwindled.

In fact, I was really quite content to listen to this strange creature whisper about the wind and rain, about the male she so wished to impress, and once or twice worrying over her mother's ability to care for herself.

Eventually she hadn't said anything in a long while, and I assumed the window into her subconscious mind had closed. I sighed, and clicked the TV on, and then raced to drag the volume down before it could wake Isabella.

I was starting to understand her father's obsession with the girl, allowing that she must look very similar to his estranged wife, she herself was captivating. Beautiful in a strangely real way.

I touched silken hair and smiled. The girl in my arms jumped, and then sat up quickly; her expression went from shock, to terror. Brown eyes beautifully deep and clear, muddling my brain into submission.

And the most soothing thing I could pull out of the air was, "Oh, you're awake."

_(^_^ and you know how the story goes from there. Hope you enjoyed it.)_


	16. Chapter 16

**Babysitting 15**

**Teeny Tiny Twilight**

I found it unpleasantly ironic that my hand falling asleep is what woke me up. The irony became biting when I saw that it was still dark outside, and Edward's slow even breathing warmed my shoulder. Putting two and two together, it was probably close to dawn.

"Sure, the chronic insomniac can sleep, in." I sighed bitterly, and stretching my hand out to shake the sleep from it so I could get some more myself I encountered resistance. First there was the startling chill of fetters around my wrist, and then the dead weight of Edward's arm anchoring my own down as it dragged against the bed.

I stopped breathing, my first thought being that I might have woken him. And then I was holding my breath and counting backwards from ten to try and reign in my ire. He might as well have locked a collar around my neck and fastened me to a leash. The same message was being sent across.

I clenched my fists, and considered suffocating him with a pillow. Alice had said it before, that Edward was used to getting his own way—and it was easy to see why with the hypnotising power his eyes possessed. I hated to ruin Edward's fun, but I wasn't fond of being controlled.

I sat up carefully, hoping Edward had left the key somewhere in sight. No such luck. I wriggled out of Edward's arms—still chained to him—and then leaned warily over him.

I'm sure some subsequent torture was in my immediate future for this.

Part of me realized that this was juvenile and irrational, I would be disappearing soon, and Edward's complex wouldn't matter anymore. I _wanted_ to stay with him for the next few hours, to watch him sleep, and this time, be here when he woke up.

But I was also angry. I had every right to have the freedom to get out of bed. I knew all I would do was take the handcuff off, grab a book from his library and come back into bed with him. It was the best course of action in my mind.

I was _sure_ I had seen him put the key in here, and just as I was beginning to think he had re-hidden it, my fingers glided across something chilled and metal, two teeth pronounced on the spine of the key. I made a fist around it, terrified of dropping it, and retracted my arm. The swell of victory had me grinning ridiculously.

The click of the cuff releasing me was too loud in the silent room, strangely ominous in the dark. And then I considered sleeping Edward underneath me, and clicked the free cuff around one of the iron bars in the bed.

For a moment, all I could do was grin at the sight. It was the safest course of action, _and_ it felt good. Was I hypocritical? Maybe. Probably.

Free, I slipped out of the bed.

The bed reacted to the sudden loss of a body, and Edward responded by rolling so his nose was in my pillow.

He had explained to me once that he had a slightly more developed olfactory centre in his brain, meaning he was more sensitive to most to smell and taste. The ridiculously egotistical notion that maybe—just maybe—it was my scent that helped him sleep crept into my head. It was a flattering idea to entertain. I put the key in the drawer beside me, on the opposite end that I had found it on, not trusting my luck to lean over Edward again.

I quickly scooted out of his room with one of his shirts before I _was_ caught and ducked into the library to quickly search out a book. I gave myself ten minutes to choose a book before I had to be back with Edward. Naturally, just as I was reaching for a book I heard Edward wake up.

The neighbours did too.

"_Bella!_" he roared, and my heart stopped before breaking into a sprint. And then it was silent again and I didn't dare hope that he might have learned the error of his ways or seen the perfect justice of the situation. I was dead.

I couldn't be completely sure, but as I walked—unwillingly—back into his room, I swear I saw my life flash before my eyes.

He was glaring at me, obviously. His manacled hand held at his head, making it look like an odd salute. Had Edward's breeding been less gentlemanly, I'm positive he would have been giving me a different, one finger salute.

"Morning sunshine." I forced a smile, though my palms were sweating. Edward continued to glare at me. I swallowed thickly, and counted to one hundred in my head. I shifted awkwardly and then tried again. "How did you sleep?" It came out in a nervous squeak.

Edward's head slowly turned towards his shackled hand. He clenched, and then opened his palm, and then slowly turned back to glare at me again. I got the message.

"The key is in that drawer." I said, pointing.

Edward didn't turn to look where I'd gestured. "Get it."

I my blood boiled, and I felt my cheeks warming. "No." The fear was drowned out in my fury. It echoed in my wet palms and my accelerated heart.

Edward's eyes flashed with first surprise, and then a hot anger that challenged my own. "Pardon me?" the words ground out barely controlled through his teeth.

The only thing that kept me from stalking over and smacking him, was that even with his left hand bound, he could still easily kill me with his right. "I had to find the key when _I_ woke up this morning in cuffs. What's stopping you?"

Edward raised his eyebrows at me, and then very slowly he reached for the drawer, the tips of his fingers just skimming the edge, nowhere close to the handle. My mouth fell open into a small 'o' and then I pursed my lips, still not fully ready to forgive him.

He could have been a little more polite.

I walked over to the bedside table and opened the drawer, grabbing the key and leaned over to hand it to him.

Edward moved like a cobra strike, and I saw suddenly that his inability to reach the drawer had been exaggerated. He could have opened that drawer and grabbed the key. It had all been a ploy to get me in the grasping range.

A surprised scream bubbled up my throat, and I jerked in time to avoid being snared under his arm, but not quick enough to escape his grasping fingers. He gripped the shirt I was wearing, too big because it was his and mine were still probably damp. All the muscles in his arm rolled as he started to slowly drag me towards him.

Self preservation kicked in, and I managed to rip away from his grip. I felt his fingers touch my hair, but rather than close his fist and pull me in by my hair, he let it slip simply though his grip. Freed, I stumbled backwards in surprise. I stared at Edward in wide eyed fear.

Edward's glare was even fiercer now, and now a new edge of frustration for some unfathomable reason. Because I had escaped? Because despite his careful plotting, I still held the key, clenched so tight in my fists that the teeth bit into my skin? I wasn't sure.

"Come here." Edward whispered, his voice raw.

Not by the hairs on my chinny chin chin.

I swallowed thickly, getting up on shaky legs. I knew I would have to free him some time, and the longer I waited the angrier he would get. I didn't think that letting him to stew on _why_ he was chained was going to give him a better insight on how little I enjoyed being in shackles.

I carefully tossed him the key in an arch, and he snatched it out of the air in another cobra strike. His hard emerald eyes never left my face. "Run."

I was already gone.

I could have sworn I heard the click of the spring pushing the lock out of place, and then a thump that could have been two feet hitting the floor. If I had been in a more rational state of mind, I might have wondered where I would be running to. Even if I did survive the unfamiliar stairs, what then? Run out side screaming with only Edward's shirt on? That was a conversation I was hoping to skip until a much later date. So what then? Play cat and mouse in the house until he caught me? Yes, that was the plan.

I can't believe I even entertained the thought of _reaching_ the stairs before Edward caught me.

The hair on the nape of my neck prickled half a second before I felt something solid hit me from behind. My arms were instantly pinned against my sides by two warm bands of steel. Rather than the nose dive into the floor that I had been anticipating, we went backwards.

Slick as oil, graceful as water, Edward was suddenly above me. He didn't stop long enough to let me get a good look at his face; he was already kissing my throat. I wasn't sure if he was still angry, and I felt it a safer option to confront him after sex. Hopefully his mood would improve post orgasm. _I_ was actually feeling a little stoned with the rush of blood in my ears.

If this was dying, let me have it.

I knew I _should_ feel scared, I mean Edward was big and strong and angry. That usually didn't equate to anything pleasant, but _Edward_ was so closely linked to _safe_, that it was difficult—even here—to find it in myself to be afraid. The adrenaline rush on the other hand was still stinging through my veins, all my nerves were super aware, and not aware at all.

Edward was all I could seem to feel, and see, and touch and smell. He was everywhere. And everything around us suddenly disappeared. Even the carpet I was being pressed into was rendered undetectable, obscured with the rest of the surroundings that melted into a greyish mess in my peripheral.

It was only when I griped his shoulders that I was super aware that he hadn't been able to get dressed this morning, chained to the bed as he had been. A ridiculous smile spread across my face with the warmth of an exhilarated blush.

I sighed; my cowardice had delayed this long enough. And honestly, the postponing this until after sex wasn't the best idea. I needed to see his face—just for a moment—to judge how angry he was.

I sucked in a deep breath, preparing myself for the wrath of Edward—Fire and brimstone and all that jazz—and gently pressed my palm against his cheek. Besides the fact that I had wondered if he had even _felt_ my leading touch let alone interpreted it Edward moved so he was looking at me.

I could see his expression now, and though his face was severe, there was something too soft about his eyes that took away from it.

I stared at him, trying to understand. That ruined his facade. His lips twitched unwillingly up in the beginnings of a smile, and then he hid his expression away again, kissing my neck. I could feel the smile against my skin now, full blown, the smooth edge of his teeth touching my skin every other kiss. He also seemed to be shaking his head, but it was hard to tell when the world was spinning so fast.

"Bella?"

I made a squeak, and then realized the reason I could not force even one word out was because I wasn't breathing. I had held my breath in anticipation of his expression, and now I let it out in a desperate gasp for air.

Edward laughed, and then the shirt was pulled over my head clumsily. "There we go." Edward cheered so quiet I wasn't sure if it was directed at me for learning to breathe again, or a self congratulatory statement for...oh, we were naked.

Edward quickly bunched the shirt into a crude, makeshift pillow and put it under my head with a not-quite-apologetic smile. I laughed at the attempt of a gentle manly gesture when we were tangled on the floor. It seemed a waste, all the unnecessary anxiety before. Edward seemed to have a problem with staying angry. Or not being happy. I couldn't tell which one.

Honestly, I was having trouble distinguishing up from down, or any other question that needed any other kind of serious thought in the time it took for Edward's hand to find and squeeze my breast. This was obviously the indicator that he was pouncing, because in the next instant, his mouth was on mine, groaning and breathing in my own sounds as he thrust inside of me.

This must have been Edward's last word on goodbye, because there was a new energy to the way we moved. A vicious last refusal. Edward drilled me into the floor, his pace threatening to put me _through_ it, and I was slightly aware that we were moving. I was only aware that we were sliding across the carpet by quick shark increments by an indistinct pain in my back.

It was so hard to think, or even consider the not-quite-there pain when I might or might not have been screaming into Edward's mouth as our tangled bodies connected again and again. Anything outside of my little world that was primarily focused on the man above me was impossible to consider for long.

All but for the beautiful stars starting to dance in my vision, distracting me from the expression of absolute rapture in every line of his face. Green eyes locked on brown ones to appreciate the same pleasure on mine.

With no warning I went from seeing stars to a full out meteor shower with dazzling lights with the swiftness and power of a volatile volcano. _Now_ I was screaming. My back arched as the jagged edges of my nails caught in Edward's burning skin as they raked down his back. His back must look like a deranged a tick-tack-toe board by now.

"Yes, Bella, oh yes, yes, yes." He whispered, his eyes drifting closed in a strangely satisfied way though he hadn't come yet, expression in absolute rapture. His head tilted slightly to the right, like the way a person does when fully appreciating music, detecting the fine notes of an intricately woven symphony.

It was then I understood that I was screaming his name. Over and over.

I also grasped that Edward had slowed his pace slightly, whether to better appreciate my semi-delirious screaming or to bring me down gently from the great height of my orgasm.

My legs were still wrapped around him, giving me ease of access. Quickly, carefully, I grabbed his testis and found the little scar like depression in such a swift motion I felt a small swell of pride and blushed in the same instant at my sudden skill.

He groaned, dropping his head into the crook of my neck, sucking on my shoulder. Other than that, Edward seemed to be paralyzed by anticipation; his shoulders trembled in a thrill that moved down his back. An identical shiver chased his down my own spine. With one grin at this, the ability to make him tremble, I squeezed gently.

Edward gasped, and one hand fisted too tight in my hair, while another distant part of my brain was starting to recognize a peculiar kind of wet sting on my back. He started thrusting again in sharp hard movements, and I could feel him loosing control. I tried to enjoy that, but it was getting harder, the distant pain would flash sharp after every one of his thrusts, and I was glad he couldn't see my face.

I gripped his testis a little harder—one hand digging his fingers into my thigh in response while his other hand ripped out a few pieces of hair. I waited still until I was sure that Edward was not only balancing precariously over the edge, but that his sanity was too. I waited until he was gasping incomprehensible words into my hair that sounded suspiciously like pleading and until his hard deep thrusts had put my back on fire. Then, ever so carefully I pressed one of my knuckles against the dimple.

He grabbed my hips with both hands, pushing me roughly down into the carpet—grounding me—and then the energy returned, concentrated and feral. For a blinding second, the pleasure overtook the pain again, and if the sun wasn't exploding before my eyes in a brilliant supernova of colour and light, I might have laughed. Edward was a drug of many uses. He was my personal happy pill, he made me feel stronger than I knew I was, and now, he relieved pain.

The pharmaceutical companies would love him.

I slowly came down and laughed breathlessly as he found a new place of my neck to suck, leaving a new mark. By now the point of pushing him away was moot. Edward kissed up my neck, smiling too. "Mmm, what's funny?"

"You're addictive." Would the fireworks count as delusions? I wondered if that was a side effect of being with him.

_Warning, Edward may cause delusions and make you ridiculously high. Don't take Edward if you have a heart condition as he will raise blood pressure and heart rate. Risks of fainting, attachment or obsession, and love too painful to articulate may be possible side effects. _

Edward chuckled, "I'm addictive? Well, I guess that makes us even since I can't seem to stay angry at you, even when I have reason to." Edward gave me a dark look. "Don't do it again though."

I laughed, "No guarantees if _that_'s how you react."

Edward sighed and rolled off me, putting his hand on my back to pull me against him. Instantly, I gasped and flinched away from the searing burn of his touch, the sweat on his hands making the burn flare like gasoline to a fire. Edward instantly pulled his hand back, eyes widening. "What's wrong?"

I shrugged, "Carpet burn." I tried to get up but Edward grabbed me, turning me so that my back faced him. "Edward it's fine." I complained. He ignored me.

"Oh, Bella." He groaned after a long tense second on my end.

"How hideous is it?" I wondered lightly.

"It looks like I took a cheese grater to your back." He sighed and turned me around to face him, pulling me so I was sitting on his lap. "I can't believe this." Edward grumbled, resting his cheek on top of my head. "I am the most moronic person to ever walk this earth. I cushioned your head when I should have protected your back. Dammit, isn't that instinct?"

I sighed and kissed his shoulder. "Don't worry, Edward, carpet burn is hardly lethal."

Edward sighed, irritated. "That's not the _point_. The point is that I've done so many horrible things to you, and you deserve so much _better _than that." He murmured. I scoffed and he took my face in his hands, making me take in his serious expression. "Bella, listen to me, I've taken advantage of your virginity, bruised you, starved you, set you on the precipice of dehydration, and now I have dragged you across the carpet until I actually _shredded_ the skin on your back. You're going to tell me you deserved all that? I'm pretty sure the last one is a form of torture somewhere."

"Well, I _did_ chain you to the bed."

Edward sighed and started to move me so he could stand up. "I'm going to get dressed." He muttered, unhappy that I wasn't seeing his side.

"Edward," I sighed, my hand sliding down his chest, "Didn't you enjoy yourself? I did." I nipped at his shoulder—his _good _shoulder—looking up at him through my lashes, imitating his mischievous smile.

Edward made an annoyed sound in the back of his throat. "You're worried I didn't enjoy it?" He shook his head in disappointment, but there was a small smile to the shape of his lips, and I felt myself relax seeing it. "If you haven't noticed yet Bella," He murmured into my hair—a more pronounced smile in his voice, his hand snaking between my legs, "_This_ is nirvana." He slid a finger inside me.

I shivered, leaning up to kiss him, but his hand was gone, stroking the skin along my legs, my stomach, just under my breast. I bit back my disappointment, concentrating instead on relieving his unnecessary depression. "And about the other things, there could be worse." I assured him, kissing his bad shoulder lightly.

"Yes. I could have defenestrated you." He muttered, and then before I could even roll my eyes, he moved me off him, walking back into his room. I was sure I heard him mutter about _impossible_ on the way. It didn't sound like a complement.

I pulled his shirt over my head and rediscovered the bones that had gone to jelly in my legs before walking down stairs to grab my own clothes. I was taking my time, looking around the house like I had the first time, brushing my teeth and organizing my own clothes for my ten O'clock departure.

I was dressed in my own clothes and showered; Edward was just flipping the first pancake, the bottom blackened. He seemed caught up in his own thoughts. He stared at the blackened top for a full thirty seconds before he realized it was burned. Quickly, he scooped it up onto the spatula and pressed the pedal that opened the garbage can, and then looked around swiftly for witnesses.

I raised an eyebrow, and he quickly flashed me a too innocent, too big smile. "Drat."

He quickly dumped the pancake, and I sighed, taking the spatula from him. "How about you pour, and I'll flip?"

Edward pursed his lips unhappily and went to take the spatula back from me. "How about you relax and I'll cook? It's my manly duty to satisfy you."

I put the spatula safely behind me. "What about shaving? That's manly."

Edward rubbed the stubble on his cheek and sighed, giving me a sidelong look. "Fine. But I expect to return unhindered to the very masculine art of pancake flipping." He warned.

I smiled as I poured the batter, "I didn't know it was manly to wage war on pancakes." I murmured softly.

"I heard that!"

I blushed and quickly went on with the pouring; keeping my eyes down while a small smile worked its way onto my lips.

I found that the rug burn was worst on my lower back and just behind my shoulders. This made flipping a slightly irksome task as I realized it wasn't as much in the wrist as I had thought. I winced and scowled simultaneously at a pancake that was ready. In a great feat of willpower, I ignored the burn my clothes made against my back and put the pancake onto the plate in the oven, keeping all the food warm.

To my delight, Edward had added chocolate chips to the mixture while I had been showering before. There were very few things better than sneaking unnecessary sugar into breakfast.

Even chocolate chips weren't helping my current frame of mind though today. I tried my best to ignore the time, or the fact that I was sleeping in my own bed tonight. Or even that this was really goodbye, and I couldn't even properly say it without tipping him off. I scowled at another nicely browned pancake before sliding it into the oven with the others.

Edward started me out of my thoughts, and he nearly got a spatula in the face when I spun around too quickly. He took the opportunity to snatch it out of my hand, and then hold it up, out of my reach. "Okay, _now_ you can go relax while I finish breakfast."

I grinned brightly at him, and then I stepped out of the way so he could see the empty bowl of batter.

He raised his eyebrows, "Huh." He ran his hand through his hair and looked back towards the stairs where he had just come from, wondering how long he had taken. "We'll then…I'm useless."

I laughed, "No you're not. I still can't reach the plates, so I need you for that."

Edward mocked my voice under his breath as he collected two plates and swiped my hand away when I went to grab the utensils. "Go. Cease your helpfulness." He pointed towards the table with a menacing expression.

"Says the man that won't let my carry my own bag." I said. I was only pointing out the irony, but Edward rotated slowly to give me a look.

To which I promptly turned and took a seat at the table, hands folded in my lap like a good girl.

Three hot pancakes were placed in front of me a moment later. Edward placed some butter and maple syrup on table too before sitting down himself with a plate of five.

I was just about to cut into a pancake, all of them suitably drenched in sugar when my chair shuddered slightly, like someone had kicked it gently. I looked up, and Edward smiled innocently. "Have you ever noticed how big a table seems when it's only two people?"

My eyebrows came together. "No," I said across the short round table. I could reach Edward's hands from where I was if we both stretched a bit. It was comfortable for a house of three. Not big, not small…not close enough.

Edward hummed considerately, and then braced his palms against the edge of the table. My chair started skidding across the floor towards him. I gasped and jumped up, looking at my suddenly possessed seat. Edward had his foot hitched against the leg of the chair.

I was starting to see that Edward had a subtle way of saying things. I don't like flies, for example, really means, I go out of my way to assassinate them, and The table is too big, really means You aren't sitting close enough to me.

So breakfast was spent with my chair touching his. "It's a good thing my personal space bubble is void when it comes to you." I muttered, somewhat sarcastically. Edward relaxed his legs, his left knee resting against my right one. After that it was hard to find any more complaints, especially since it was Edward who was suffering with my unintentional elbow jabs to his ribs while I ate.

I finished before Edward because of the unfair pancake distribution. I got up to rinse my plate and fork before putting it into the dishwasher. I turned to return to my chair, close enough for me to subtly take quick breaths of Edward, and froze when—mid turn—I saw my bag sitting in the hallway. Lack of windows meant that it was left out of the eerily bright morning. There was sun and everything. Again, strangely ominous.

"Bella?"

I pursed my lips unhappily, halfway turning towards him. "I'm just going to put my bag in your car." I picked it up out of the darkness, "Don't really want to look at it anyways." I muttered under my breath. I heaved the bag up, the strap biting into raw flesh. When I came out of the dark hallway, I half expected Edward to be waiting to take my bag from me, but his back was turned, rinsing his dish in the sink with the same expression he had been wearing when I had first come into the kitchen.

I stared at his back for a moment, and when he didn't turn, I did. I hitched the bag up higher onto my shoulder, and started for the door. It felt like once the bag was out, my decision was permanent, and the uncomfortable heaviness that was starting to press on my chest would disappear. That's how I had always been with a decision. Just like when I had decided to come to Forks. Was it hard, and miserable and hopeless? Yes, but just like my hopelessly depressing choice to come to Forks, it was for someone I loved, and that had to count for something.

I started to pull open the front door, a little ray of light slipping in through the crack when suddenly there was a hand over my head, pushing the door shut again. I hadn't even heard him behind me. I took a slow breath in, feeling a little shiver work down my spine at the feeling of having my back unprotected. Not that he was dangerous in my mind. Not purposely, at least. The marks he left said something though, ridiculously obvious as it was—that he _could_ be dangerous, that he _could_ hurt me.

Badly.

And yet something made me think that he couldn't—in premeditation—hurt me.

I hadn't turned to face him yet, looking at my hand on the door knob instead. Gently, I felt his warm fingers brush delicately on the exposed skin of the crook of my neck where the strap of my bag had pulled my shirt down slightly exposing the skin before he slid the strap off my shoulder completely. The bag hit the floor with a thump, punctuating the silence, grounding the moment into something slightly more real than just us standing here.

His hand moved down to mine, taking my hand in his, examining my fingers before twining them together with his. I felt something touch my hair, his mouth? I was sure I also felt the angle of his nose—burying his face in my hair—and took a low breath, shuddering slightly. "I'm not ready to let you go."

And then I was being leaded backwards, his fingers tightening around mine, only letting go to momentarily throw a blanket out over the carpet that had been resting on the couch. He pulled me down with him, on our sides and pulled my shirt off all the gentleness we had lacked upstairs. The bra was gone with a few kisses and revered murmurings against my shoulder.

I pulled his shirt off, letting my fingers trail against the hot skin of his waist, up his arms. My jeans were gone, Edward's hands pushing them down while I lifted my hips. He pulled his own off while I kissed his free palm softly, letting my lips brush up his fingers, over his wrist and up his arm to his shoulder.

He lay back down, both of us still on our sides, his hand holding the small of my back—the least damaged stretch of skin thanks to my arching into him—his other moving a lock of hair from my face to tuck it behind my ear. One of his legs slid between mine before hitching my leg over his hip, his engorged flesh teasing my entrance.

He rested his forehead against mine, and then hesitated, looking like he wanted to say something, his face torn. I inched myself towards him slightly, trying to get him inside me. Edward noticed, and shot me an amused grin, eyebrows raised.

He decided what he wanted to say, which was, apparently, nothing. He moved his hips and the zing of energy our connection creating tingled through me, focusing on where he touched me. The small of my back, my forehead where he leaned his own against mine, my lips when we kissed, and of course the obvious.

He rocked into me impossibly deep while I held his shoulders, accepting him into my all too willing body. This was nothing like the energetic romp we'd had upstairs just an hour before. Rather than be for the raw gratification or the intense climb of pleasure, this felt so much more intimate. More emotional than physical.

We could have been like that for hours or days, minutes or seconds. Time was an inconsequential in the equation of one plus one makes whole. Eventually though, the cliff face we were riding on, somewhere between absolute bliss and the grounding feeling of my fingers on his skin was coming to an end.

Edward could feel it too. His muscles tightened under my fingers and he started to whisper my name against my skin. My muscles shuddered around him, and I gasped, my hand going to his heart, feeling the mimicking beat.

"I love you, I love you, oh god, I love you." Edward groaned, grabbing my leg and pulling me tight up against him until he was so deep I could feel his testes pressed against me. There was a shot of warmth, and I shudder around him again.

Edward sighed contentedly, and rolled onto his back, pulling me with him and covering us both with the blanket he had lain out. "Thank you." Edward murmured, running his fingers through my hair.

"My pleasure."

Edward chuckled, and then sighed. I traced mindless patterns onto his chest, trying to understand my sudden mood. Rather than the tingling lightness I was used to, I felt a weight on my chest, an uncomfortable stretching bubble of grief in my throat I couldn't seem to swallow past. The moment the spasms around my lips started, pulling them down outside of my control, I knew I was going to cry. Don't be stupid, I thought viciously, clenching my teeth and hoping desperately that it would pass.

My eyes weren't so easily repressed though, and suddenly I was blubbering against Edward's shoulder. He stiffened. "Bella?" he pulled my face into his line of sight. "You're _crying?_" He gasped, horrified at the parade of tears making their way down my face with no sign of stopping.

"No," I snapped, rolling off him and grabbing for my clothes.

He wasn't allowing that, and I found myself being dragged back towards him. Embarrassed—and honestly frightened by the sudden tears—I pushed at him, trying to make him let go long enough for me to compose myself. Edward growled in frustration and finally took advantage of his being larger and heavier than me. He pushed me down, and rolled on top of me, sufficiently pining me down. "I won't let you go until you tell me what happened." He threatened darkly. Despite his tone and the set of his face, his eyes were desperate with worry, flickering anxiously over my face without pause.

The realization came with a fresh round of tears. "I don't want to leave!" I wailed.

Edward stared at me for a short second, and then I was swiftly cradled into the crook of his neck. I had expected him to continue to wage his argument on all the reasons why I should stay in my moment of weakness, but he just held me tightly to him and let me say the best goodbye I was capable of.

Slowly the debilitating grief eased until I was able to pull myself together again. "Sorry," I wiped my eyes, a small embarrassed laugh escaping my lips.

Edward watched me for a moment cautiously, making sure I was really done. I cleared my throat and squared my shoulders under him. Edward smiled slightly. "Don't be. It's actually a bit of a relief. You've been so cool about just walking away after this whole weekend, I thought I was the only one mourning."

"At least you didn't explode into a fiery ball of hormones." I sighed.

Edward chuckled and then kissed me softly, dipping his tongue into my mouth, exploring the velvety contours there. I pulled away after a moment, letting my hands slid down his shoulders, "Do you think we have time for an encore?"

Edward hummed and then looked over his shoulder towards the TV.

And went absolutely still.

"Edward?"

He was gone, cursing under his breath and pulling his clothes back on in a vicious frenzy. I sat up instantly, and grabbed my own clothes, looking to where he had and seeing the green numbers glowing on the DVD player. 11:36.

Oh joy. At the very least I'd had the forethought to pack everything together this morning so all I had to do was whip my clothes on and throw my duffle bag into the back seat of Edward's car. Or all _Edward_ had to do was throw my duffle bag into the back seat since I was only getting in the way of hurricane previously known as Edward.

He only paused for a short second to kiss me before closing the car door and practically jumping over the hood of the car to get into the driver's side.

"So, I've never been late for work before. How punctual does your father expect people to be?" Edward wondered, checking behind him before pulling out of the drive way.

Well, he married Renee, so punctuality can't be too important to him. "I'm not sure, but I don't see him having a fit. Relax."

"Easy for you to say. I'm not only late, but I'm putting in my letter of resignation in today. I'd like to at least _try_ to leave on a good note so that in two weeks from now he doesn't absolutely hate me." He sighed, nervously running a hand through his hair. "It feels like I'm meeting your father for the first time." He chuckled.

"You won't have a problem with him two weeks from now." I assured him quietly.

He shot me a questioning glance, but I turned to look out the window rather than face him.

**A/N: Next Chapter is going to be super short, so it will be out quick, and then you get another Edward point of view! (yay!) There are only a few chapters of the story left.**


	17. Chapter 17

**Chapter 16**

I stared out the window, letting my thoughts wander to better ignore the anxious looks I was being shot from the driver's seat. It was useless to tell him I was fine for the hundredth time when it was so obvious that I wasn't, and I wasn't even sure he was paying attention to my defences anymore anyways.

Some memories were on restriction for certain reasons. Important reasons. One, was my sanity, which was high up on the list of pieces of me I needed to protect. Two was...well honestly because I didn't deserve it. The memories were not disgusting in themselves, so painfully beautiful to remember the feeling of being held, of being loved—I winced—rather it was that _I_ felt disgusting to recall him in that manner when he obviously deserved so much better. I might have well have been nosing through someone else's intimate moments.

Some memories were safer than others. Like when he had dropped me off at my house, sweating bullet's in anticipation for Charlie's wrath.

All Charlie did was give an unimpressed huff.

_* * *_

Edward hesitated in the door way, unsure he had really just gotten off so easily. "Really? Oh, well...okay." The moment he hesitated on his 'okay', I knew that he had rehearsed an apologetic speech on the way over. Edward cleared his throat. "I also wanted to say that you'll be getting my letter of resignation tomorrow sir. I'm giving you my verbal one now." Edward smiled apologetically as Charlie's expression went from good humoured displeasure to outright shock.

"What?"

Edward nodded, "You know I have a medical degree—"

"You know I was kidding when I teased you about being a fool for choosing the lower paying gig, right?" Charlie looked dismayed, but not all together surprised, as if he had been expecting this all along. Maybe not this soon, but he must have seen it coming.

Edward laughed politely, "Yes, but I don't feel like...I'm doing what I'm meant to. I have a better idea of who I am"—Edward's hand subtly brushed against mine—"and I realize that this isn't it. Thank you for all your patience with me Charlie."

Charlie sighed, scratching the back of his head. "We'll miss you there Edward. You're a good kid. Best of luck to you then....But if your mind ever changes, there's a spot for you."

"I appreciate that." Edward murmured, and then we feel into an awkward quiet.

Charlie cleared his throat, "I'll see you tomorrow then?"

Edward sighed, hearing his dismissal . "Yeah." And then to me, "See you later." His hand touched the top of my head, like he might playfully ruffle my hair, but he just held it there for a second, and then he was gone.

"See you." I managed, a little too late.

_* * *_

The unexpected turn off the highway startled me from my thoughts, and I was only thankful for the distraction for a moment before I realized where Charlie had just turned.

"You took me to the _hospital?_" I cried in horror.

Charlie shot me a look. "Don't start. If your heart is acting up, this is where you need to be."

"It's _nothing_." I growled acerbically. The school had called Charlie to tell him I was having a panic attack in the middle of gym. I wasn't; I just hadn't been paying enough attention to the direction of my thoughts.

I considered petulantly refusing to get out of the car for a moment when Charlie's car door closed, terrified that I might run into a familiar face. That would be the absolute opposite of helpful. That would be downright _deadly_. If it wasn't my heart that gave out, then it would be Edward's furious hands around my throat that did the job.

Charlie turned when I didn't immediately get out with him, and I sighed, taking a deep breath of air. My body seemed to reject it, my head spinning in consequence. Charlie started to come over, but I forced myself up out of the car and closed the door before he could get too worked up again.

We wasted forty-five minutes in the waiting room. Charlie flipping through random magazines until my name was called. We filled out the necessary information and I was lead to a room. No familiar faces so far, which calmed me greatly. Would he be on something small like this? If he was, I couldn't imagine it would last for long before they snatched him up for more troubling cases. Like bullet wounds or heart attacks.

_I_ nearly had a stroke when a familiar tall lean frame walked into the room. And then my heart started beating again when I realized it was a shock of blond hair rather than penny coloured hair. An older man than I had figured him from behind smiled at me. "Hello—"

"My daughter is having panic attacks." Charlie exploded before the doctor could even ask what was wrong, let along introduce himself. I hadn't realized he'd been so worried before. Obvious he was _worried_, but it was hard to tell the extent with Charlie.

The doctor frowned. "Is she?" and then he looked at me seriously, "Do you know what is triggering the attacks?"

"They aren't panic attacks." I sighed, and was relieved when at least the doctor seemed to believe me.

"Why don't you think so?" He asked, pulling a chair up across from me.

"Because I don't feel panicked or frightened when they happen." Anticipating his next question I continued to describe what I felt during my 'attacks'. "My heart always feels like it's beating too fast, and then because of that, I don't feel like I'm getting enough air. I usually get a bit dizzy."

The blond doctor—the surprisingly good looking doctor with sharp defined features and contrarily soft looking eyes—nodded and pulled out his stethoscope. "Does your chest hurt when it happens?"

I hesitated. Yes, I burned and ached and sometimes I thought that I _did_ belong in a hospital it hurt so much, but I knew that the pain was emotionally derived, not physically. "A little."

"Can you determine around when these episodes started?"

I knew _exactly_ when the episodes started.

_* * *_

I stood uncertainly in my room, unsure if I was better up here, alone with the bed that expected two after so many months of his night time visits, rather than down with Charlie who kept asking question after question about my weekend, and Edward. Mostly about Edward. What did we do? Did Edward say anything about something happening that made him chose to leave? Did he mention anything about a girl (this one was delivered a bit slyly, though Charlie claimed it was only because Edward seemed so distracted at work as of late)? Charlie seemed to be blind to the fact that I wasn't interested in discussing the topic with him, and right after cleaning up after dinner I claimed exhaustion and retreated up to bed to escape.

I took too much time getting ready, meticulously brushing my teeth, my hair, standing in the shower until the hot water started to cool, brushing my hair again. I even blow dried it, something I rarely did. When I did eventually make my way unwillingly into bed it was getting dark, and I spent another good chunk of time cleaning my room until it was alarmingly spotless.

When there was no more avoiding it, I called goodnight to Charlie and curled into my suddenly large bed.

My very _cold_ bed I realized after a few seconds. It was silly, but I expected my bed to capture the eternal warmth that _Edward's_ did. But my room didn't have a huge window to invite the sun in with, nor were my sheets black to catch and retain the warmth of the sparse rays.

All the heat from the shower seeped out of me, the bed greedily sucking it in. Even curling into a small ball did not help. I sigh sadly, and wish with a vain ferventness that I hadn't told Edward to stop coming, feeling as greedy as the gripping cold for his warm arms. Slowly a new kind of cold started to seep into my chest, and my heart stopped cold when I couldn't remember the conversation. Couldn't remember the conversation _because_ _it_ _didn't happen._

With the realization came a soft drumming on the windowpane.

I froze, and this time it had nothing to do with the cold. I hadn't said anything because I had thought it would make him suspicious. Because I was too stupid and scared to let myself think about the plan enough to trouble shoot, or to even work out the finer details.

I wasn't sure if I wanted to pull my hair out by the roots in ferocious handfuls or if I wanted to jump through the window at him and confess all the schemes I had planned behind his back; finally get rid of the weight that was slowly tearing holes in my lungs and allow us the opportunity come up with a _better_ plan. The silence was debilitating, holding all the weight of all the _ifs_, the sudden flurry of second options that were immediately plausible, just within my grasp. For a moment, the silence seemed to extend until the concept that maybe it was simply a product of a terrified mind, a psychosomatic reaction to the horror of the realization that I had shot my plan to hell that had made me _think _I`d heard something.

But just as I was starting to feel my muscles begin to unlock, a much louder knock on the window sounded through the glass, loud as a crack of lightning in the dead quiet of my cold room. Knuckles rather than finger tips this time. And then suddenly I was unwrapped from my cocoon of pretend warmth and at the window, already opening it before my hands have even been given the conscious command. Before my legs have even be told to walk over to the window in the first place.

There was Edward, dangling from my window; the sun was gone by now, my room suitably dark for his visit, still so much younger in night than I was used to. I wonder how he knew I was going to bed early. Did he spy on me or had he simply had a hunch?

_Stop_ I scolded myself. I had to say something; I had to tell him the truth. I had to say _'no'._

"Edward," I started, and then stopped as he looked up at me, starting to drag himself up the side of my house, a beautiful, pale, long stemmed rose held gently between his teeth.

He raised his head up at me in a quick nod-like gesture, asking me to take the rose to free his mouth. I gently took hold of the stem, his lips softly kissing my fingers when they were free. "Is it later?" Edward wondered, grinning, and I wanted to slap myself in the forehead.

His _'see you later'_ hadn't been a goodbye; it was him telling me in his subtle way that he _would_ be seeing me later. Later _tonight_, and my seeming innocent _see you_, was actually me telling him that I would be expecting him. Stupid Bella.

I looked again at the pristine rose, catching and reflecting the moon in its pedals, a softer glow than the moon. Edward chuckled, seeing me look at the flower, but not enough light from where I was in the shadow of my room to make out my expression. "I know what you're thinking, and I know the symbolism of the white rose is lost on us, being less than innocent and all"—he flashed me a smiled that glowed like the rose—"but I thought it could symbolize our promise, and the innocents of our...love." he trailed off at the end, "Don`t laugh, it sounded better in my head."

My chest ached in a terrible hot guilt, burning as if I had swallowed a beaker of acid. Slowly, gently, I put the rose down on the windowsill and leaned out the window, simultaneously blocking the entry into my room and letting him see my face. I needed to control the situation. If I granted Edward even an _inch_ of room for negotiation, he'd take advantage of the entire situation. He could be so persuasive....

I swallowed thickly, "Edward, I don't think you should come back." I had to stop, to take a breath.

"Why? Just because we're waiting to go public doesn't mean I can't see you in the mean time, who would see us?" he tried to climb up into my room again but my body blocked the entry. He sighed and gave me a look, "I'll behave, I promise. No hanky-panky."

"You don't...it's not about who sees, it's just...it's not a good idea. _We _aren't a good idea." I stopped, pulling in a breath and collecting all the power in myself to keep going.

"Bella, let me in." Edward suddenly demanded, in the silence, a desperate edge in his tone. He knew where I was going. I could see he was trying to stop it.

I kept going, words flowing more quickly now. "I think we both need to take a step back and consider if this is what we want."

"_You_ are what I want! I already know that."

"I'm no good for you Edward." I murmured quietly, "Maybe in a while, but I have some things I need to take care of, and you are restarting your _whole_ career. It's not the right time. It's not a good idea."

"Bella, please, for the love of _God—_" In a fast unstable motion Edward removed one of his hands from the windowsill to quickly grab hold of me, bringing me closer to him. He crushed our lips together, kissing me passionately, putting the rest of his plea into the movement of his warm, soft lips on mine.

I waited until he was done—ignoring the shock generated by our skin to skin contact—and then pulled away. "Come in. You can wait until Charlie falls asleep, but then you have to leave." I took a deep shuddering breath. "Please Edward...don't come back."

Edward's expression was of someone who'd had their feet knocked out from under them. Shocked, disbelieving, slightly numb.

"Edward?"

He slipped an inch. If I hadn't been paying so much attention to his face, I would have seen his fingers relaxing on the windowsill.

Reflexively—it didn't even register as a thought until afterwards—I reached out to catch him as he suddenly let go. His head turned to watch his fingers uncurl—looking dully surprised—and I just caught hold of his fingers to feel them rip through my grasp by the force of gravity dragging his weight down.

I didn't see him hit the ground—he disappeared before then—but I heard the muffled sound of impact, and then a low groan. I was frozen for a moment, my palm tingling, my fist clenched as if I had been strong enough to catch him.

Then the moment passes and I was rushing down the stairs, dimly aware of Charlie jumping up from his couch in the living room as I nearly fell down the stairs, skidding over the edge of the last three steps and stumbling for a moment to regain my balance, and then running again. I exploded through the back door, out into the yard below my window. I stopped for a second gasping for breath and despite the light from the kitchen spilling out into the yard, I couldn't see him.

The yard was empty. I stumbled out, sure he was just beyond the rectangle of light, sure that I might trip over him even. I heard the sound of leaves rustling on the edge of the yard, and then the crunch of dead branches, but I kept searching the dark yard vainly. I knew he was gone, but I couldn't help but keep pacing over the grass below my window until Charlie said something about the rain and the cold.

Just at that moment the wind viciously whipped my hair into my face, and the flower that had been resting on my windowsill fell, the moon catching the pale pedals for a moment before the darkness swallowed it too.

_* * *_

A warm hand braced itself against my shoulder, and I realized I was curled in on myself, trying to pull air ineffectively into my chest. The pretty doctor must hear the unnatural pace of my heart, too fast to be normal if it was too fast to let me get any air.

I could see Charlie standing, unsure what to do off to the side of us. "What's wrong? What's happening?"

I gritted my teeth together fiercely, and straightened my spine letting my face go blank of pain. The doctor stepped back and regarded me with surprise, like I had morphed into a familiar face right before his eyes before shaking it off with a wane smile. "My son seems to be experiencing similar fits, though he describes it as his heart beating too slow." He regarded me again, "There's nothing unusual about your heart."

He tested the amount of oxygen my lungs were pulling in to find it at a 98%, nothing wrong there, and then listened to my chest asking me question after question until he sighed. "I'm not sure what it is. Perhaps it's psychologically based."

I was beginning to think I knew what it was. It was only a hunch, but Edward had described myogenic impulses, claiming that the reason our hearts synchronized was due to some strange mutation in our muscle cells that allowed the energy our bodies naturally emitted to harmonize, reflecting back on our hearts. Mine slowing, his speeding up. It was beginning to occur to me that maybe I was off balance without the harmony. Maybe when we had synchronized the first time the chemistry of our bodies changed to depend on the energy of the other.

I looked at the doctor, and with sudden certainty, I knew who he was. "Dr. Cullen?"

The blond doctor turned towards me and smiled. "Yes?"

"I hope Edward gets well soon."


	18. Chapter 18

**Chapter 17**

_Edward_

_I am officially a lunatic_, I thought, staring up at the moon. Not because I was sitting on the edge of a dark forest in the middle of the night to watch the window of a girl who didn't want me. Not even because this is where I had been sitting every night since I had fallen from her window, not even sure why I was here anymore.

Her window was locked.

The word _Lunatic_ originally is derived from two different words. _Luna_- to mean the moon, and _tic_- to be struck.

I was a lunatic in the most basic idea of the word; struck by the moon. Call it star struck, or love struck, or out-of-my-fucking-mind struck, but that didn't explain why every night when I couldn't fall asleep, I would stare at the moon and see her face. I had been struck by the moonlight, caught in it's celestial beauty, and then left to shiver in the night when it turned away from me.

And maybe I knew why. In the first few days after I had fallen—from her window, not for her, though that was a stupid mistake too—I had gone over every part of the weekend in my head, trying to remember what it was that had driven her away from me so suddenly. It was her damn mismatched underwear that had made my heart stop in horror.

Women thought about this kind of stuff. Just as men manscaped, women matched their panties with their bra because it was sexy. It made them feel more confident, more beautiful, and it entranced us. It had surprised me that Bella _hadn't_ matched her undergarments, but it hadn't stood out to me as significant at the time because _everything_ surprised me about Bella. That was part of her charm.

Only on replaying the nights over and over again in my mind did I notice when something changed. I already knew I hadn't worn a condom on any of the times I was intimate with her (I'm a lunatic, not stupid). I thought that because she had planned this, she would have taken care of that part of the night too. That because she didn't ask where the condoms were, or if I was going to wear one, that we didn't need them.

She must have been wavering on the brink, or had made a snap decision. Either way, it was her damn underwear that made me realize she _hadn't_ planned the night out. Hadn't taken precautions of her own in the birth control department. Hadn't asked me to because it was her first time and she was nervous, letting the more experienced of us lead the way.

And I hadn't reached down into the bottom drawer beside my bed for a fucking condom. Because _I_ would be safe. Because there was no chance of _me_ catching anything from a virgin. Because I'm an idiot.

I managed to rip my eyes away from her window to look up at the moon again desperately in need of a distraction before I truly went insane.

The moon was only a sliver away from being whole, the night bright to my eyes, everything glowing surreal shades of grey. It was no wonder the pale orb reminded me of her. Not just in the physical qualities of the pale moon framed by the night sky—a startling contrast between pale and dark. It was more, so much more.

The moon was not so bright as the sun, but so much more beautiful. Magical. People had myths and legends about a beautiful goddess, or the magic qualities the moon possessed. People before me had been drawn to the mysterious qualities of the moon. And the moon _was_ mysterious. It never showed the same face twice in a row—so much more dynamic than the ever constant sun.

Was there ever a time with Bella that I could predict her next move?

Never.

But then there was the most genuine similarity; nothing to do with myths. The moon received it's glow from the sun. All I was seeing right now was a rock catching and reflecting the run down at me while the atmosphere was clear of brighter lights.

Despite the lack of colour in Bella's skin, there was no denying that Bella seemed to reflect a much warmer place than here. The delicate pale retaining the light of the sun itself; softly glowing with it just as the moon did.

I had never realized how dark my sky was until the moon disappeared.

My muscles hummed impatiently, and I curled myself tighter into myself, restraining myself. Not tonight, I had promised myself on the way over. Climbing into her window when I was invited was one thing, but what I was doing wasn't right. I was bordering on stalking her now.

It would always started off as an innocent desire to pull myself off the freezing ground to just lean against the tree outside her window. What was so wrong with that? I pursed my lips, feeling the uncomfortable chill of the ground.

Fine, just the tree.

I checked to see the dark windows across the street, the flicker of a TV in one, just as it was last night, and the night before, and the night before that. I wondered—while dashing across her yard and into her domain, somewhere I wasn't wanted—if the person was actually watching TV at three—four O'clock in the morning, or were they sleeping?

I envied that. I wanted to be able to lay down at night and close my eyes, and then wake up suddenly, and it's eight hours later. I _wanted_ that time to disappear. I didn't want the clock to tick away at the time and remind me of the life I wasn't living. Or the life that could be beginning. It felt like I was watching everyone else live through a pane of glass these days.

My hands wrapped around the lowest branch, and then I dragged myself up into the crook of the branch and the trunk of the tree, allowing it to cradle me. I leaned back against the trunk, staring up the tree at the intricate maze of branches that came together to form a perfect ladder for me. I was so close to her, maybe....

No. No higher. I could give her this small bit of her back—her privacy—even if some days I woke up and remembered the sweet taste of her sex in my mouth, or the softness of her breasts against my hands, my chest. I shivered.

I had been so..._stupid_. I had foolishly believed that I could play the Sex Game and win. I had been on the receiving end of that so many times. Women who believe that if they could posses my body, they won my mind and heart too.

I realize now that all those times when I had allowed they to claim my body, I hadn't allowed them to take any other part of me, so sure I was complete in myself that I hadn't even considered giving, or even truly _receiving_. And all this time I thought I was a gentleman.

I was simply more subtle in my womanizing than most other men. All I had ever taken was body.

I couldn't stand it any more. I had to move higher. I couldn't see her window from here, could only catch glimpses of the moon. Up higher I would see both. I was already so close....

I broke my promise to myself again, just as I had last night, and as I would tomorrow. I sat across from her window and stared into her room, looking through the pane of glass that was the barrier between life and I. This was the barrier I couldn't cross to really live with everyone else. Muffling screams as I fought to try and escape the confines of my prison.

And it was a prison. Where was my right of free speech? I wanted to scream to the world that I had made Bella mine, if only for a weekend. My right of free will when I couldn't even lift the window half an inch to breath in her scent.

This was why I played that stupid game. Let me posses your body Bella. Let me make sure I am the first to claim every inch of your skin, to break you and rebuild you as mine.

In my attempts to claim her, I had sold my own body, my own mind and heart to her. I felt robbed now. All I had received in return was the knowledge that her body was more mine than any other man could make it theirs. What did that mean if she wouldn't let me keep her? I had stolen from her body when I should have made sure it was her heart that was mine.

In reaction to so much inter-reflection, so much of _Bella_, my heart reminded me that not even it was mine anymore, slowing down. Stopping. Dying.

I curled into myself again, not to keep me in place—I was where I wanted to be. Or as close as I could get—it was in response to the sudden aching of agony. I _knew_ my heart was still beating, but in this moment, it was gone, ripped out of my chest, just beyond the window.

I threw my head back against the tree, trying to distract myself from the other pain. "Please," I begged at the moon, "Please. I won't come back again. I'll stop. I'll stop." This was another promise I made night after night. Only when the pain reached levels that were just on edge of driving me over the brink. But Bella was a drug, and no matter how much pain she caused, I would keep coming back for my hit. Over and over again.

For a moment, I thought of stumbling away from here, back home where I could nurse my wounds and come back tomorrow.

That was almost as painful as staying.

I hadn't slept at all last night, staring awake in bed and then my alarm making me jump when it did go off. I was terrified it would happen again. I would rather suffer here where the object of my _affliction_ slept than back at home where I still imagined I could smell her on my pillow. The bright red bottle of shampoo that I would stare at in the shower.

Obsessive.

The worst part of the pain was that I could think through it, no matter how it ravaged my body. I could still love her while I writhed. Could try to hate her. Could hate myself when I couldn't quite twist love into its brother.

I could be angry though. I could be so angry at her for making me love her. For making me _hurt_ because I loved her.

"Fine." I snarled, the torture hitting the crescendo where I acted on self preservation, and converted the excess into white hot rage. "Fine, have this. _Take _it. You made me a promise though, and I'll collect."

Maybe I couldn't make her love me, or force her by my side. Wouldn't be able to if the opportunity arose.

I wouldn't stay in the shadows though, either.

This was the very last time I would be struck by the moon. Not without reprisal.

There was only one logical path to go from lunacy.

So here I come.


	19. Chapter 19

**Chapter 19**

_Bella_

I was trying to absolutely focus on the note I was writing.

My note was different from most of the others in my class, mostly because I wasn't just writing down what was on the board, but also bits of important information that Mr. Banner was saying. It wasn't for perfect marks, or a better understanding of DNA replication. I did it to absolutely distract me from the treacherous workings of my mind. The thoughts that should make me feel better, but only seemed to peel layer after raw layer off my heart. Was Edward with someone else right now?

As much as it hurt, I really hoped he was.

Did I?

My pen stopped scratching against the page as I struggled to pull a breath in. Edward deserved to be happy. And me? I deserved this suffering. I sucked a breath in through my teeth and forced my hand to start moving again.

Mike, who had been taking a strange new interest in me, more than just following me to class now looked over at me. His eyebrows came together, "You okay?" he mouthed.

I shot him a fake smile, "I'm great." Traitor. He was the one who originally told the gym teacher that I was having a 'panic attack' in the hallway when I had excused myself with the pretence of getting a drink. Apparently I looked weird when I'd left.

And then suddenly I was great. My heart just...stopped aching. Air was suddenly easily accessible. Confused, I straightened in my chair, wondering where the pain had receded to and not about to complain.

Half a second latter, there was a hard knock at the classroom's door. Mr. Banner sighed, and called for whoever was on the other side of the door. I was still mystified by my sudden miraculous repair that I didn't even think to connect the two.

It had been raining before—which meant nothing in Forks—with a vicious wind that snapped at jackets and bags this morning was still blowing strong and angry. The wind ripped the door out of the holder's hand, making it crack against the inside of the science building.

No one else seemed to be made uncomfortable by this scene. _I_ jumped a foot and a half. It might as well have been death that walked into the class room then, dark hood drawn up against the rain and the ferociously dark sky. Mr. Banner slapped his hand down on some papers, disturbed by the wind. "Can I help you Dr. Cullen...junior?" Mr. Banner chuckled at his own joke.

Edward didn't smile.

"I'm here for her." He pointed at me. With his scythe.

Mr. Banner frowned at me. "You want Bella?"

Edward nodded, "Her father wanted me to come take her home a little early. We have something to talk about."

Mr. Banner continued to frown. "Are you family?"

"No." Edward snapped, too sharply. A mild degree of disgust on his face.

"Then she can't leave with you." Mr. Banner said simply. I was eighteen, so technically, I could sign myself out if I so desired.

I did not desire.

Edward bristled, "Chief Swan—"

"—can give you a note. I'm sorry I can't let you take her off school premises."

Edward looked about to tell Mr. Banner where he could shove his note, but then he shot me a glare so dark it made outside look as bright and cheery as Phoenix. He grabbed the door and marched back into the rain, shutting it loudly behind him.

Mr. Banner raised an eyebrow at me. "Nice friend you have."

I shrunk into my seat as I heard the first whispered of gossip starting behind me.

* * *

All through the rest of the period I kept looking at the door, waiting for Edward to explode back into the building with a dripping note that signed him my death. When the bell rung I nearly cried I was so relieved. It was the first time I was actually happy to be in gym. Gym meant that I wouldn't have to sit still and pretend that I wasn't on edge of screaming.

So apparently Edward _hadn't_ gotten on with his life. He had been stewing in his anger instead.

I suppose we all have our hobbies.

Gym also meant that I got to change buildings. I was aware that wouldn't throw him off for long, but I was too much of a coward not to appreciate the delay. I pulled on my black unisex jacket and blended into the sea of raincoats.

As I walked beside a raincoat that looked more stylish than mine, I heard a familiar unpleasant nasally voice. "I heard that she got blood taken and he found traces of cocaine in it."

"_Cocaine?_" someone asked, unsure.

"Or some other hard drug. Maybe heroin. I'm not sure."

Despite the heart attack I was inches from, I managed to roll my eyes. Now _that_ was just ridiculous. And then out of nowhere there was a dark tall figure walking beside Lauren. I knew that gait.

I should have run screaming, or at least moved quietly away into another group of raincoats, but he was right _there_, and I couldn`t do anything in that moment but keep my pace, so terrifyingly close and—even more terrifying—not close enough.

"Who are you?" a velvety voice wondered, unintentionally seductive with a darker edge.

The shorter raincoat spun to face the taller one, and then I could have sworn I heard a giggle. "I'm Lauren Mallory." She said in a surprisingly light sexy voice. Who knew what someone's voice was capable of when they weren't being intentionally malicious?

"Lauren, are you aware that that kind of slander is illegal? In fact, Bella here,"—he gestured back to me. My heart jumped. I hadn't even known he knew I was here. Lauren looked just as surprised to see he noticed me too—"can take you to court for that. I suggest you stop while you still have a...nearly spotless record."

Lauren's cheeks flamed, "You—you can't...."

"I'm actually quite allowed to give advice to people. Usually one says thank you to another's helpfulness." Edward smiled condescendingly on her, waiting.

Lauren looked up, and for a moment—though I just saw her profile—it looked like she was about to call Edward something that wasn't entirely uncalled for, but the smile seemed to change her mind. "Whatever." She mumbled instead.

Lauren, while not a friend, was someone I knew more than an acquaintance. We moved in the same circles, and I knew that that was as close as Lauren would get to apologizing. Edward seemed about to push her a little more, and I knew that if he kept it up, she might just cry. While that might be slightly satisfying after all the tears she has been responsible for, I doubt Edward would feel good about bullying a girl until she cried.

Besides, his ire was meant for me.

"That's enough." I grabbed his elbow before he could say anything else and slowed my pace with him until Lauren was a suitable distance away. "You're here for me, Edward." I reminded him, suddenly feeling very tired. The feeling of defeat I realized. All this suffering for nothing.

Edward stared down at me with unreadable eyes for a long moment, "That's right. I am." It was my turn to be dragged off course. He wrapped his arm around me, pulling me towards the main building. I guessed I wasn't going to gym. Even through two rain coats I thrilled at the fact he was holding me and whether that was the reason, or because I really _didn't_ like gym, I was suddenly not too put out to be missing the class.

Edward waited—surprisingly patient—for me to put my books into my locker and to grab my bag for the weekend. He started to lead me to the girl's bathroom in the main building. And then started to lead me _into_ the girl's bathroom.

I stopped and turned, blocking his path. "You can't come in here."

Edward let his hood fall back and raised an eyebrow dangerously at me. "Go see if anyone's in there."

"No!" I cried, horrified.

He growled at me, irritated. I braced my feet and crossed my arms over my chest. Edward exaggerated an eye roll and then pushed past me slightly so he could have access to the door. He knocked. "Anyone in here?"

We waited, and when no one answered he grinned at me. My heart started to race. "See? Come on."

"And what if someone comes in?" I asked scathingly.

Edward took a long slow breath; his finger's pinching the bridge of his nose. "I don't know Bella, I guess I'll just have to explain that you needed to pee on a stick and I needed to make sure you didn't crawl out a window."

"Do you have any idea how _high_ those windows are?"

Edward's hand dropped. "Bella," he whispered, barely controlled, "Please, just once, do as I ask you."

"Tell me what you want!" I cried, exasperated. I couldn't understand why we needed to be in there. If he just _told_ me what to do, I'd do my best to do it. _Without him_.

Edward shoved his hand into his coat, bringing out a long thin box. It wasn't until he pressed it into my hands that I realized what it was. My throat went cottony dry. "Oh." When he'd mentioned peeing on a stick....I thought it was some kind of insult. But no.

A pregnancy test.

"Yes, '_Oh'_."

He knew. How long had he known? Had he stayed awake at nights thinking about all the terrible 'what if's? I had. It took me a long second to compose myself after that. "So?" I managed weakly, and then cleared my throat. "I don't see why you need to be in there with me while I...use this."

"I don't need to give you a reason." He deadpanned.

I bristled, "You have _no right_—"

It seemed I blinked and missed the sudden movement. His hand firmly gripped a handful of my hair, bringing my face very close to his. So close I could pick out the livid flurry of green shades that made up the complex beauty of his eyes. I was so shocked that, for a minute, I didn't even recognize the pain in my scalp. "You have _no idea_ what you have put me through. How much I have _suffered_ because you are just as capricious and—and _adolescent_ as every other _girl_ who doesn't know who she is. I thought you were special, and beautiful, and the most _perfect_ thing to ever walk this earth. I was, apparently wrong. Now _go_."

He shoved me away from him, his glare black as night.

My throat tightened to the point of physical pain. My eyes pricked with tears, and before he could see me cry, I spun and swiftly moved into one of the stalls, locking the door behind me. I leaned against the stall, covering my face as the first of the tears started to fall. I hadn't allowed myself to cry after I told Edward goodbye. That pain was mine and I fully deserved it.

When I couldn't breath and my heart ached so badly that I just wanted to rip it out of my chest; that wasn't even close to pain. God, it was _laughable_ that I thought that feeling of frigid emptiness was pain.

Ha ha ha.

I covered my mouth, hot tears running over the back of my hand as I desperately tried to keep in the sobs. When I had said goodbye to Edward, I thought I had been helping him. Saving him from allowing my stupid mistake to drag him down too and I knew he _would_ let it. It would be so _Edward_ to take complete responsibility for the consequences brought around by my snap decision. And maybe I hadn't thought that I'd have to face his furry—not yet. I thought I'd have long enough to get the situation under control, and only when I was sure that Edward wouldn't have to give anything up would I tell him. Give him the option of having as much or as little to do with the baby as he wanted.

Maybe I had been wrong if this was how he reacted. What else could I have done? Edward was still paying huge school loans. Between helping Alice and Emmett with the house and paying insurance on his car, he didn't have much money left to throw away. I might not be an expert, but I knew babies were expensive. Being a doctor wasn't exactly a part time job, it's not like he could get another job on the side of crazy hours.

And what about the job he had now? Small towns were small minded and judgemental. They wouldn't see Edward's impossible love, or devotion. They'd see a grown man messing around with a high school girls. People had lost their jobs for less than that.

I remembered when an American family who's ethnicity was middle eastern opened a gas station in forks. I had been so young at the time, but I remember Charlie being angry at people for driving the extra twenty miles away to the next station. The station had closed a few years later.

So I deserved to be pregnant, and to have to throw away my future to sustain our kid. I deserved to have the father hate me though he was the only person I have ever loved enough to give all of myself to. I deserved to know exactly what I was in his eyes and where I had fallen. I even deserved all the ridiculous rumours.

I deserved all of that because it was better than watching the one I loved be dragged down too. But I also deserved these tears.

With that thought, I was able to pull myself together. This was nothing compared to what it could be. I chose this, so I could deal with it. Some how.

"Bella?" I thought his voice sounded repentant, or at least soft enough to make it seem like he cared.

I ignored him, slowly getting control of myself again. I knew from general knowledge what to do with the test, but I read the instructions anyways, partly to stall, partly to see how long the results would take.

I put the cap back on the end after using the test, and then took a slow breath, staring at the graffiti on the door for a long moment. All the hearts and crude remarks were suddenly so far away from where I was. A different life.

I walked out of the stall and rested the test on the floor, following the instructions of putting it on a flat surface, and went to wash my hands. I watched the suds rather than acknowledge Edward resting against the wall beside the large semicircle sink that housed all the faucets. I had never been superstitious, but I never tempted fate either. Even now I never even _thought_ bloody marry more than once if I was in front of a mirror. It suddenly felt like Edward was a malevolent ghost, here only to do me harm. That looking at him, speaking to him, hell, even _breathing_ near him suddenly felt like I was calling something unpleasant onto myself.

I finished, and dried my hands, my back to him.

The silence was killing me. _I_ couldn't break it. I refused to. I mean, if I was willing to throw everything away for him, the least he could do was start a conversation that didn't involve me being something vile he wanted to scrape off his shoe.

_Say something!_

_Anything._

"How long?" He finally asked, his words low and gravely.

Assuming he was asking about how long the results would take, I answered, "Three minutes."

"Not the _test_." He snapped.

I turned to face him...and immediately had to drop my eyes to his collar. I couldn't look into his angry eyes. Not yet. Treacherous tears started to prick at the back of my eyes, but though they gathered in my vision they didn't fall, for which I was grateful. "Than what?" My voice wasn't as sure as it had been before. Thinner. Weaker.

"How long have you known there was the possibility that you were pregnant?" he hissed.

I took a deep breath. "The second day."

"_Dammit _Bella." I flinched. "Didn't you think about what you were doing for even one second? The consequences?"

"Yes, I did." I told him coolly. The fact that I was still staring at the wrinkled edge of his collar detracted from the effect.

Edward looked like I had slapped him. Beat him. Left him for dead on the side of the road. It seemed to sober him from his anger, but the raw hurt that replaced it was so much worse. "That's it?" He asked lowly, almost uncomprehendingly. "I would understand if you might not _love_ me yet, or that I moved too fast for you…but you must really have an aversion for me to choose _this_ over…us."

And then I understood. With perfect clarity I saw where Edward's anger stemmed from. He thought I didn't _love_ him. That he had scared me away. He was treating me like a fickle, mindless, selfish teenager because he thought that's what I _was_.

And then I understood that _he_ didn't understand.

I slumped back against the wall, stunned and mute I slid to the floor, trying to wrap my mind around the concept. Trying to remember when I had _ever_ given him that impression. I remembered back to when I said goodbye.

I had said we weren't a good idea. And we weren't. Not for him anyways. I had told him we needed to take a step back and reconsider if this was what we wanted...or something along those lines. I had meant _him _though. That _he_ needed to think about everything and if it was worth it. _I_ knew I wasn't worth it; I had just been waiting for him to realize the same thing.

I was starting to realize where he had turned my words around, taken them differently than I had meant them.

Edward walked by me, tossing the pregnancy test in the garbage as he went. "You aren't pregnant." His voice was emotionless. "We have to go now."

I nodded, my head still spinning. Edward dragged me into the office and showed them the note, and then dragged my through the rain into his car.

"My truck—"I started quietly.

"Can spend the night here."

His tone left no room for discussion, so I quieted, staring out the window blindly. The only sound other than the silent purr of Edward's Volvo was the rain striking hard against the top. Half way to my house—at least five minutes of dead silence between us—there was a deafening crack of thunder, and just like that, the rain picked up.

Even with the wipers on full I couldn't see past the hood of the car. Couldn't even see the hood but for the blurry image of a slightly darker silver through the water. It looked like we were parked under a waterfall.

I heard a low oath, and then we hydroplaned. Edward slowed and then stopped. We were still blind. "Open your window, I need to see if we're even on the road anymore."

I did as he asked, and was instantly hit with a bucket load of water. For the three seconds it took Edward to glance out my window to gage where we were, my pants, arms, and hair were soaked. I quickly rolled the window back up—automatic windows were suddenly _so_ much more desirable than my sticky manual ones—and sat on the very edge of the seat, closer to Edward, to avoid the wet spot.

"let's see how good my memory is." Edward murmured so quietly to himself that I didn't think it was directed at me.

And then he started to drive blindly forward. "Where are you going?" I gripped the oh-shit-bar as he started to turn the car too sharply to the right.

"I thought I saw a drive way. If we stay on the road, we'll probably get hit by someone else. And this is just a guess, but I don't think Charlie wants you dead."

_Yet_, I added to myself. Wonderful. So Edward was either going to get us into the driveway he had supposedly seen, or he was going to drive us into the ditch. We both gasped as the car jolted, tipping slightly, and I was sure we were ditch bound. But then the car straightened and Edward carefully drove forward.

One second we couldn't see past the hood of his car, and then one swipe of his windshield wipers later, we could see—not a driveway—but an old logging site. The young trees had extended their branches over the top of the clearing, making the rain slightly lighter in here. Edward drove around so we were facing towards the mouth of the clearing, face back towards the road.

Edward turned the car off. If I had thought that it had been quiet before, this silence was deafening. Edward pulled out his cell phone. I looked out the window as Edward explained to Charlie that we were waiting out the rain. Edward apologized a few times, and then shut the phone. I could feel the rough movement of Edward shoving his phone back into his pocket from my seat, and then he went still.

I turned away from the window to look at him. He had his hands in his hair, supporting his head by gripping handfuls of it. He looked on edge of having a breakdown.

My hands shook, but I reached out slowly to touch his shoulder. Every muscle in his body seemed to lock down, and if I hadn't known him, I would have been sure he was about to turn around to break my neck.

In the most painful, violent way possible.

I _did_ know him though, so I left my hand there. "You can let it out."

And he did. He yelled and vented everything. About how he sat outside my house every night, about how he hadn't talked to Alice since I had left, blaming her for putting the idea in my head, how Emmett had tried to make him feel better but had eventually given up and started to avoid him instead. How—during the few hours of sleep he got—he dreamed of me, and always woke up alone. How he couldn't see women's faces anymore. How on that last day he had planned and imagined what it would be like.

He got out of his car suddenly in a sharp motion, slamming the door behind him. He picked up a rock, whipping it at a tree. It sliced the bark, leaving a greenish-white scar. He grabbed another rock, "And _now_"—the threw the rock. It missed this time.—"I'm going to try to explain to Charlie that I love you."—he threw a stick this time. It cracked off the same small tree.—"And he's going to think that I pulled off the road for a _fuck_."

He picked up another rock, and I waited for him to throw it too, but he just stared at it and then let it roll out of his hand to thump back onto the ground.

He stood outside, looking at the young tree he had hit, and then back at me with a strange expression on his face before looking up at the sky. He stayed where he was, and then slowly got back into the car.

I stared at him cautiously, waiting for another explosion. He didn't look at me immediately, instead he sat with his head bowed and then slowly he turned to me. His eyes were heavy with guilt now, rather than anger and he looked away again. "I'm sorry." He murmured quietly. "I don't...I have no idea what came over me."

"Is it my turn now?" I wondered simply, ignoring his ridiculousness. If I had gone through that, I would have lost my mind. Hearing voices kind of lost my mind, none of this sissy throwing rocks crap.

"Yes." He let his seat slide back then. I stared at the action, confused, half wondering if he wanted me to sit in his lap. He saw my confusion, "I'm guessing after all my yelling, you probably want to hit me a few times. Your aim is pretty terrible so I'm backing away from the steering wheel."

I shot him a dark look, but was secretly ecstatic that his humour was back. There was no hitting. Or yelling. Edward just patiently listened to me.

I told him the truth. _Finally_, I did what I should have done that night when Edward had tapped at my window that; horribly dark night. I didn't have anywhere to hide now except behind Edward's ridiculously intolerable idea that I _didn't_ love him more than my own life. Even in my panic at finding him at my window, I don't think I could have the heart to try and convince him that he wasn't my life. Having people who didn't know him hurt him and drag him down was one thing. Having someone who he believed love him do it was completely different.

I wouldn't do that. _Couldn't_ do that.

Edward—rightly—looked irritated with me. "What gave you the idea that you had the right to decide my life?" he wondered when I had finished.

"I guess the same idea that you had." I answered him. It wasn't angry, or accusatory. Just pointing out the fact.

"I never—"

"—gave me any room to move when it came to us." I interrupted. "I pointed out that you could ruin everything you had here, and you blatantly ignored me. If you weren't going to worry about it, _I_ was."

Edward raised an eyebrow at me, then reached forward and took a strand of my hair between his fingers. I shivered with want. "Oh, look. Grey hair."

My want vanished.

I slapped his hand away, irritated. "What would you have done, Edward? If our places were switched and _you _were the one putting _me_ in danger?"

Edward pursed his lips unhappily, and turned back towards the road. I could feel the '_it's different'_ hang in the silence between us. "I'm not saying I don't _understand _it." He said finally. "I'm saying I don't _like_ it."

He looked back at me with a weary expression. His eyes tightened faintly and I realized he didn't trust me. Didn't trust that I meant what I had said. How could he not? The _it's different_ was apparently due to the false assumption that he loved me while I was a cold uncaring stone.

Freaking wonderful.

I swallowed thickly. "Do you not...believe me?" Edward hesitated, and looked away from me again. I gasped at him in horror. "You think I'm lying to you?"

"No, no." Edward said quickly, and then hesitated. "Not _lying_, exactly. But Bella, you left Phoenix for your mother. You stayed in a place that made you miserable for _Charlie_. You left because you, apparently, love _me_, though you can't seem to say it. Everyone seems to come before your own wants and needs. You thought that this was what was best for me, so you did it. You didn't leave because you love me, you left because you are, completely, unquestionably, a good person."

I was half an inch from tearing my hair out. "What are you talking about?" I cried, my calm fading with his words. "Let's say, for the sake of your delusion that I did leave because I'm this impossibly selfless, inexplicably good person. Do you _really_ think I would run off and ruin my life so I could sleep well at night knowing some guy somewhere that I really didn't give a damn about could skip along merrily tossing cash about? Do you _honestly_ believe that?"

Edward rubbed his eyes and then let his head fall back against the head rest. I suddenly saw deep shadows under his eyes. I had faintly noticed them before, but it was the sharp feral energy of his anger that had been the main focus of my attention. I realized now that Edward looked sick. "I don't know," he grumbled, "It's _you_." I rolled my eyes at him, trying to think of a way I could explain this to him so he would _see_. He started talking though after a long moment of silence. "I can't eat, I can't sleep, I can barely_ breath_ anymore, Bella. There are a lot of things I can live without. You, apparently, aren't one of them."

Of course I had been suffering in a similar fashion. I would toss and turn until the wee hours of the morning, I ate less, I couldn't seem to pull air into my lungs, but I had never thought in a million years that Edward would have been suffering too. Not like this.

"I love you." I whispered.

It was absolutely silent, and then Edward turned to face me incredulous. "What?"

"I love you." I was at first amazed at this wonderful fluke that the words didn't stick to my dry throat, or catch or croak. It was the easiest thing in the world to say. Not a butterfly trapped under glass. It was like finally bursting through the surface of that last inch of water and taking the breath I'd been dying for. Finally breaking past that last inch of water, so bright it deceived you into thinking you were already there.

And then understanding swept over me. I knew that love was so much more than words—I wasn't completely naive. Demonstrating love to someone was more. It was actions, and feelings, support and _then_ words. The words hadn't come before because nothing else had. Saying I loved him, and then not being there, not caring for and with him wasn't demonstrating love.

I was going to demonstrate it now.

"I do." I murmured, feeling a little high. "I love you." I stared at Edward. He didn't seem to be breathing, his eyes were ridiculously large. "Are you convinced yet?"

"Almost."

I blew a piece of hair out of my face irritated. What else did he want? I suppose I could tattoo _I love you, you idiot_ across my forehead. I don't know how much he would _appreciate_ it, but he might just believe it....

Edward slowly moved towards me and all brain function ceased. Slowly, gently, he pressed his palm against my cheek. My breath caught, and I stared at him. He leaned forward and caught my lips with his. My eyes fluttered closed with the flutter of electricity that jumped from his body to mine, teasing my erratic heart into a wonderfully, painless frenzy.

Edward's lips were so soft, so slow and smooth on mine. My hand shook as I raised it to hesitantly rest it against his cheek. His skin was rough with stubble, rather than the softness of a clean shaven face, but it was just as agreeable.

In fact, I _thrilled_ at it. I didn't know about him, but _I_ was convinced. He was the only person that could make my heart race just because his lips were touching mine and make me feel safer just because his hands were cradling my face.

He started to pull away, and in the time it took me to come back into my mind, I leaned after him, trying to keep his lips with mine. When my brain unscrambled itself I realized I was leaning halfway into his seat. I blushed and straightened, flipping my hair between us to try and hide my flustered state.

Edward tucked it back behind my ear, showing my red face. "I'm convinced." And then he grinned crookedly at me.

* * *

We were turning into my driveway beside Charlie's cruiser. My hands were clasped onto the seat as if I feared for my life.

Which I did.

Edward seemed mostly at ease. I chocked that up to him still flying high at the knowledge that I _did_ love him. I thought he was being ridiculous, but I was a little high myself at how happy he seemed to be that he had me. He wanted still wanted to talk to Charlie, though. Not an act of spite anymore.

I wanted to get up on the tallest building possible and scream to the world that I was his, that _he_ was _mine_. But I suppose he was right. Start small and work our way up.

I just really hoped that Edward's confidence is appropriate. I'm going to be really disappointed if we got everything sorted out just for Charlie to kill us both.

The rain had stopped, at least.

Edward turned the car off, and then turned to me. "You ready?"

To die? Sure, why not. I took a deep breath and nodded. "If it were anyone else, I would have already jumped the boarder and been in Canada by now." I grumbled.

Edward chuckled and got out of the car, coming around to my side quickly to open the door for me. "It's going to be fine, Bella. Really. Its better that we're honest with him than him finding out from someone else. It might take some time for him to realize that, but he'll appreciate it later."

"Sure he will." I agreed unenthusiastically, sarcasm sharp with fear.

"It's fine." He assured me, squeezed my hand. I sighed again, giving the house a weary look before letting him lead me up to my front door. I grabbed the key from under the eave and unlocked the door, walking in.

I felt like the hero in a horror movie. I was absolutely convinced someone with a mask was going to jump out from behind the door with some terrifying weapon of torture.

I saw Charlie's gun belt hanging on the coat rack instead.

"Hey Dad." I called, my voice squeaked up an octave .

In a fit of nerves I dropped Edward's hand right before we walked into the living room. Charlie reached forward and turned off the TV, before leaning back and looking us both over. I wondered what he was looking for. I wonder what he saw.

I wanted to hold Edward's hand again, I thought desperately. It was worse _not_ holding him, even here.

"Edward. Do you mind telling me what this is about?" I knew he was talking to Edward, but when he spoke, he had looked at me with strangely hopeless eyes. I suppose Charlie isn't blind. He must have seen, deep down he had to know.

It was silent for a moment, and I looked up at Edward at the exact moment that he looked down at me. He smiled slightly, and then he took my hand and looked back at Charlie serenely. "Sir, your daughter is the most amazing, wonderful, _beautiful_ person I have ever met. I have never found anyone like her before, and I don't think I ever will again. I realize I'm a little late to be presenting myself to you for your approval to date her, and for that I apologize. I thought that you deserved to know though, that she is the most significant thing in my life. I suppose what I mean to say is: I love her."

Charlie was silent, staring at our entwined hands. I waited uncomfortably while he processed this. Finally he looked up at me, "Bella?" he asked, an edge in his voice, and I realized he was hoping I would refute all this. That I would back away from Edward and tell him I still thought boys were icky.

"I love him too." I whispered.

Charlie shook his head, and then stood up. "Bella, can I speak with you in the kitchen?"

I sighed, "Just say it Ch—Dad."

Charlie grunted unhappily. "Fine. I don't like it. I don't think you know what you're getting into." He wasn't commanding or pushing, he was being a dad, trying to make me understand the dangers of dating. I'm sure this was every father's worst nightmare, third only to teenage pregnancy and early marriage.

But I _did_ understand. "Dad, I know what I'm doing. He is what I want." I felt Edward glowing beside me, and I couldn't help the smile when I looked up at him.

"No." Charlie said definitely. "I won't let you do this, Bella." Charlie saw me about to argue, and he stopped me with a look. "My house, my rules."

The teenager in me bristled.

Edward cleared his throat, getting both of our attentions before I could loose my temper and embarrass myself with a fit of my own. "I was actually hoping that Bella would come and live with me." He looked down at me with a small smile, "If you want."

Not that I really had a choice at this point, really. Even if I did though, I probably would have started packing my things. I grinned at him, my heart fluttering wildly at the thought. "I'd love to."

Charlie watched the exchange with confused eyes, as if there were something important that he was missing from this. "Live together...?" he repeated, trailing off. A looking of horror started to dawn on Charlie. "Have you two...you haven't...." he trailed off again, uncomfortable this time, his face reddening, and then at the look that passed between Edward and me, started purple-ing.

Edward took a deep breath, turning back to Charlie, finally weary. "We have been physically intimate." He murmured.

Maybe Charlie could have taken that. Maybe he would have taken a bit of a fit and then realized that I was eighteen, that most girls in forks had already lost their virginities by this point in life. That most girls in general had already lost their virginities. He might have been able to take a step back and see that all in all, this wasn't as big a deal considering the circumstances.

But Edward chose that moment to let go of my hand and wrap his arm around my waist instead, pulling me against him and closing that last inch of space between our bodies.

Charlie _lost _it.

Edward realized this too, letting go of me instantly. "You—_you son of a_ _bitch_." Charlie roared, shoved him back against the wall. Edward's hands were up immediately, though I didn't think it was so much for defence as it was to try to pacify him.

_I _was frozen in shock. I had imagined Charlie would be angry, but _this?_ I hadn't actually thought he would have put his hands on Edward. He was a freaking police officer! "Dad!" I finally managed to cry, my feet unsure of what to do, starting to stumbled towards them. To do what? Try and pull my enraged father off Edward? I could try. Edward shot me a look though that told me to stay where I was.

Charlie was immediately in his face, hands fisted in his collar. "Do you like sleeping with children, Edward? Is that what gets you off?"

Edward's voice was low and soothing. In control. "She's eighteen, Charlie."

"No, she's not!" He yelled, his voice breaking. "She's my damn _daughter._"

It was hard to tell from where I was standing, but it looked like Edward gently touched Charlie's hands. "Charlie." He murmured.

Charlie was silent, and then his hands dropped from Edward's shirt.

I breathed a small sigh of relief.

Edward and Charlie looked at each other for a long moment, and then Edward looked back to me.

"Go pack your things."

**A/N: That piece about the rain, it actually happened to me once... And there was going to be another one or two chapters where Renee came down to help back Charlie up. I honestly don't want to though, so all there is left is an epilogue. ^_^ **

**So for anyone who doesn't know, Fanfiction is cracking down on everything M rated. "****any sex or sexual related acts whether graphic or not, language, drugs, alcohol, abuse, self harm, suicide, rape, incest, homosexuality of any kind, etc. This includes Teen stories as well." More information is on **Melinda the Proud Bookworm**'s profile. So if Friend boy and babysitting suddenly disappear, you will find them on www (dot) twcslibrary (dot) com I haven't actually gotten around to putting anything up yet, but I will. Soon. Same pen name (since my memory is devoted currently to how Rutherford found the nucleus in the atom). ^_^ My other stories will be started on the new site too. ^_^ Thanks for your patience...oh, and if there are any stories you wish to save, I suggest you send them a message.**


	20. epilogue

**A/N: Yay!! Finally got this chapter out. Hope it leaves you with a better ending than the last chapter. For those of you looking for **_**Lady of my night**_** my next and last story for twilight, I'm going to be putting it up on**_** twilighted**_** and **_**The writer's coffee shop **_**after I finish all my power points so that updates won't take a month. ^_^ Hope you enjoy the epilogue.**

**Epilogue**

**Teeny Tiny Twilight**

I knew I was dreaming.

The colours were slightly dulled, for one, the feelings weaker than reality would allow, and for another, what I was seeing had already happened.

Renee was sitting on the edge of Edward's bed. I was startled, for a moment until I remembered when this was. Charlie, desperate and terrified that his only daughter was skipping off to seal her fate and ruin her future, had called Renee down as a last resort to control their suddenly rebellious daughter.

I have no idea what he told her to make her immediately jump on the nearest plane and rush from the chief's cruiser into the house in a state of absolute horror. He probably didn't have to exaggerate much for my poor mother to imagine me making the same mistakes she had.

Whatever he had said thought didn't matter.

The consequence did.

Renee couldn't really drag me back home—being legal and all—but what she insisted on doing was getting to know my first, and presumably _last_ boyfriend. I don't know what Charlie imagined would happen, but within the hour, my mother was absolutely smitten with Edward.

She even helped pack my bags. Charlie couldn't really argue with the superb intuition of the two women he loved, but he could grumble about it.

Which he did.

Often.

With Renee's plane booked back to Florida in two days, and given the choice between sleeping under the same roof as her irritated ex-husband, or her daughter's charming, welcoming boyfriend. Well...I suppose the choice she made was obvious.

"Edward." My mothers sighed sadly, brushing his hair out of his eyes. "Is there anything I can do for you?"

Edward's smile was placating. "It's really no problem Mrs.—Renee. I've been an insomniac since I was fourteen. You get used to it."

My mother wasn't placated. "Oh, but I kept you up all last night with questions." She frowned guiltily.

I sighed, moving closer to Edward. "She's right. You haven't slept in four days. I don't think that's good for you. Mentally as well as physically. Especially if you plan on cutting people open later tonight." I raised an eyebrow at him, challenging him to argue with that.

My mother's hands fluttered, her face comically horrified but not at all joking.

Edward shot me a dark look, telling me to shut the hell up before Renee burst into tears over this. She looked pretty close to it. Renee missed the look, too caught up with ideas to try and remedy him. I knew what he needed, and I knew what _I_ needed, and I knew that one of those was going to be awkward with Renee in the room. With her in the house even. "I can sing to you, if you want." Renee offered, "I used to sing Bella to sleep when she had nightmares."

We both turned to stare at her, wondering if she was serious. "Mom," I said slowly, wondering how to best to break this to her. "That was when I was _seven_." Renee sighed sadly. "But," I continued slyly, "Our bodies produce a natural drug called melatonin. When we don't produce enough of it, you end up with"—I gestured at Edward—"sleep deprivation. I know they sell Melatonin pills in Forks pharmacy...."

Renee needed no more urging. "I'll be _right_ back. Bella, I'm taking your truck." She assured us with huge eyes. I felt a little twinge of regret for deceiving her.

It was quickly replaced with more pressing matters.

Edward waited until she closed the door behind her before turning to me. "Melatonin?" he questioned, unconvinced.

"Take your pants off."

Edward grinned at the growled command. "Bella, lover dearest, we have twenty minutes at best. Not including un and redressing." My command though was heard and received by a certain part of his anatomy. To which I was pleased and flattered.

I shook my head, pulling my shirt off. "She's going to take much longer than that. For one, my truck is a standard and she hasn't driven standard in twenty years"—right on cue, I heard my truck roar to life, and then choke and stall. I winced for my poor transmission—"two, the pharmacy re located a few years back, so she'll have to drive around a bit to find it. And three...it's Renee."

Edward chuckled, finally pulling his shirt off. "Devious."

I had undressed while I had been explaining, so while I was naked, he still had a pair of flannels on. He pulled my mouth to his, kissing me thoroughly. And for a moment it seemed he was content to _only_ do that. "Edward." I finally murmured, "I know I said we had time...but we don't have _that_ much."

"You're lips are distracting." He muttered defensively, a sheepish humour in his voice.

I stared at him for a short second, and then gestured at my state of undress. "And this _isn't_?"

Edward's eyes hooded as he looked over me. "Hmmm...yes, quite." He murmured, distracted again.

"_Edward!"_

He shook his head, and I realized that maybe he hadn't been just teasing me. He had _honestly_ been sidetracked. "Condoms are in the bottom drawer." He kicked his pants off and I handed him the condom. I didn't quite trust myself to be efficient in putting it on yet—an understandable concern seeing as I had never done it before. I would be practicing that skill in the future though. The thought made my heart stutter, a blush creeping up my cheeks.

Edward rolled the condom on in a quick, practiced movement. It looked so ridiculously easy, but it _was_ Edward. Perfection was his middle name.

I hitched my leg over his hip and positioned myself over him. I slid down on him before he could grab me and flip me under him.

I gasped as I felt him re-stretching, refilling me. Edward's head fell back with a groan, still propped up on his elbows as he was and I couldn't help myself.

I still wasn't very confident with my teeth—a very good reason for that was the barely healed pink scar on his shoulder, I could still faintly make out the shape of my teeth in his skin—so rather than bounce while I ran my teeth along his exposed throat, I merely circled my hips.

Safety first and all that.

I felt the muscles in his throat work under my mouth when he swallowed thickly. "Bella," he breathed huskily, and the queer feeling of his voice vibrating against my tongue distracted me for a moment. Enough for him to feel, and take advantage of it. "I can't...if you keep that up, this is going to be a _lot_ shorter than you planned."

And then I was under him. So much for him lying back and enjoying what I could give him. In the next moment though, as he pinned me down and powerfully drilled me into the bed with quick, rough strokes. I choked on a scream, and then _his_ teeth captured my lip. Always so hyper aware of me, he was gentle with my lip, sucking it into his mouth and sending tingles through the skin with flicks of his tongue, while he was rough in all places I needed it. His hands on my breasts, pinching my peaked nipples, his length relentlessly pounding into me.

"Edward!" I cried, and he had to release my lip. Undeterred—I continued to gasp his name, small little cries and mews in between screams—he started sucking my neck.

His skin was slick and hot under my hands, muscles working over me. My hips started lifting to meet him. He chuckled darkly, at my now senseless gasps. "Greedy?" he gasped in a dark breath against my skin, like his pelvic bone wasn't grinding against my clitoris with each thrust, as if he hadn't shifted just the _slightest_ bit so he was hitting _that_ spot.

My legs wrapped around him, and I thought I heard a low groan of pleasure in Edward's chest. I couldn't so much concentrate on that though when the spring in my abdomen snapped. I screamed and my body arched against him, and suddenly, as the light exploded and shattered behind my eyes, I had one of those rare insights into Edward's head. I could feel my body the way he saw it, all lean, light and limber, breasts taught, skin soft against him as it arched towards him.

The spell, though, was broken by the startlingly feral sound that ripped out of his throat and through me. He roughly gripped my hips and slammed into me again and again. My hands were in his hair then, gripping handfuls at the nape of his neck, and I was ready for release again.

"Bella." He choked, pushing himself as deep as he could possibly go, and then gasped. My eyes snapped open at the same moment his did. "Bella!" he cried, and his face contorted in pleasure, "God, oh god, Bella, I love you." I came again as he did, and he collapsed onto me, gasping for breath.

It took me a second to realize that I hadn't felt the familiar shot of warmth because of the condom, and—as he pulled out—I petulantly pulled it off before he completely softened, feeling robed. I made a mental note to get birth control first chance I got.

He moved us so that we were spooning, my body perfectly moulding into his shape. Edward breathing slowed back to normal, and then, though I knew he was trying to be discrete about it, I felt him breathing me in, his nose at my throat.

A smug little smile pulled my lips up. "Did you know that the release of endorphins also happens to trigger a person's sweat glands. It concentrates your natural scent." And, if my theory was correct, Edward needed that to sleep. He had admitted that the completely sleepless nights had started at the same time he stopped being able to smell me on his sheets, on his pillow.

Edward was almost asleep, I could hear it in his voice. "That study was done on a dance floor, and it was studying the link between attraction and"—he yawned—"scent." He took a deep breath realizing he had been caught and nuzzled his nose into the crook of my neck.

I smiled to myself, "I love you, Edward."

He was already out.

I laughed quietly. The door opened, and Renee, came in looked at a bottle in a perplexed way, as if she questioned it's worth. I stared at her in horror. In all of it, I had kind of...forgotten she was coming back. Forgotten there was a world outside of Edward and me.

She started, and I blushed scarlet. I had—thank god for small miracles—instinctively pulled the dark sheet up over us, naked and vulnerable as we were. That didn't stop my mother from realizing what we had done.

She pursed her lips, and just as I was expecting the worst, she laughed. I was too started to quiet her, least she wake Edward. "Well, I suppose he won't need these then." She sighed after a minute, "I suppose Phil can use these. He has trouble sleeping before big games."

I stared at her for a moment, still shocked. "Y—you aren't—" but I suppose I shouldn't have been surprised? As I had said before to Edward: It was Renee.

Renee shrugged, and smiled sadly. "You—how ever much I could shrink you back into that little baby they gave me in the hospital—are an adult. I have to get used to that. All I need to know is...well, does he...satisfy..." she struggled with a polite way to ask if Edward rocked my socks.

I giggled like a teenager madly in love and grinned stupidly. Renee laughed again.

___***___

I wanted to stay in that moment, to the hours where Edward held me tightly against him, but my dream was moving again, pulling me into another memory. I felt myself hopeless try to hold onto the feeling of Edward inhaling me. Of needing me on a level deeper than the conscious one.

When I realized where I was next, I wanted to cry. Wanted to run into warmer memories. This was a memory that haunted me. I regretted it late at night when Edward was at work and I was laying in our bed alone, his pillow in my arms, my face in the fabric that clung as stubbornly to him as I did.

We were at a house party of sorts. More of a celebration that we had finally found a house for ourselves. Rose had finally moved into the house with Emmett now that she didn't have to share, and Alice had just finished painting her new house with Jasper. Currently bugging us to let her paint our walls up when we hadn't even finished unpacking yet.

"Florida, huh?"

I didn't know who asked, but Edward was answering with a smile so huge it brightened the room. "Well," Edward, in an action that seemed so impossibly natural, placed his hand on my knee. "Bella found an old restaurant for sale. It doesn't scream gourmet food _yet,_ but the moment Bella starts cooking, there is going to be a line of people outside. Besides, I'm sure my amazing darling sister would so _graciously_ allow us to utilize her talent for all things artistic." And then Edward smiled angelically at Alice. I swear I saw a halo.

The horns would come out later tonight. My breathing picked up slightly in anticipation. Edward noticed, and he squeezed my knee, goading me.

I stood up. "I'm going to get a drink. You want anything?" I said, suddenly hot. It had nothing to do with the temperature outside.

Edward stood up with me when five people wanted something, offering to help me carry all the drinks. I was in the middle of rounding up all the glasses when a flustered Angela bustled into the room with her little baby perched on her hip crying and pulling at her hair.

"Please." Was all she managed, handing him off to a very started me, and then she raced off to the bathroom.

I turned towards Edward, hoping to flash him a smile and convince him to hold him just long enough to escape being puked on. Edward had a strange expression on his face, immediately destroying all hopes of _my_ plan. "Edward?"

Edward smiled softly at me. "What time is it?"

I stared at him from the corner of my eye, trying to gauge what he was really thinking. "Around eight?"

Edward smiled wider, and then down at little Andre in my arms. "And how about your biological clock?"

My jaw fell open, and I floundered unsuccessfully around in my head for a long minute trying to figure out how to close it again. Edward stepped closer and with one finger, lifted my jaw back shut before kissing me deeply. "I want a baby with you." He breathed against my lips when he pulled away.

While this same thought had muted me just seconds before, suddenly I was spewing all the wrong words, and I realized that speech was definitely not an evolutionary improvement. "Are you sure? I mean a baby is a big thing—_huge_ responsability. Maybe we could start small, like a dog, and then go from there."

Angela took that exact minute to stumble out of the bathroom and take her child back in a sleep deprived stupor. It was too quiet after she left with her child, which immediately started screaming once it was out of my arms.

"A dog?" Edward repeated tonelessly, staring at me like...well, like I had found getting a puppy as a suitable replacement to having a child with him.

We stared at each other for a long while longer and then Emmett came in, looking to see what was taking us so long to pour some drinks. We rejoined the party, but I felt Edward casting looks at me, his mood less jubilant than before, and I felt terrible for disappointing him; in myself for my thoughtless comment.

Latter, of course I gave him excuses for my thoughtless answer. That I was just starting a business. That we had just moved into a new house. That we didn't have the money right now. We weren't emotionally settled yet. Excuse after excuse after excuse.

He had let it go, though he didn't look completely convinced, and I wondered if he knew the real reason. I was scared. Terrified out of my mind.

A year and a half later when my business had—inexplicably, though Edward wasn't surprised in the least—taken off into a successful buisness. After we had not only unpacked all our boxes, but that a comfortable layer of dust had settled on them in the storage room, when Edward showed me the separate account he had been putting money into, doubted the baby fund, Edward broached the subject with me again.

"I'm ready." He had whispered to me while we were settling into bed for the night, his arms around me. "I'll be here for you. Always, Bella."

A tense little spring in the back of my mind I hadn't noticed until it just now, snapped. Rather than try to come to terms with the idea and the fear, I had been rebelling against it. As the spring snapped, so did I. I shoved his arms away from me, "_You'll _be here?" I asked bitterly, "When will you be here? When you have to take extra shifts to pay for the kid while I have to give up my job to take care of it? Come on Edward, you've always believed in the miracle of breast milk, you'll want me home all the time to feed it and make your dinner. You want me to be the mom your mother was and put all my dreams and plans on the back burner so I can raise the big family you've always wanted. Tell me that isn't what you want." I stared him down.

He didn't say anything, his shocked expression turned vulnerable for the shortest second before crumpled all together into pain. "You never want to have children, then?"

We had been married for just over two years, and yet some small part of my panicked. "Will you leave me if I don't?"

"I can't live without you. You know that."

I nodded, and my bitterly cold expression softened. "Then no. I don't." I shut the light off and turned away from him.

Later in the night, when I would get up to go to the bathroom, I would hear him crying softly in the kitchen.

This memory I let slip all too easily from me. I didn't want to hold it to me anymore. The next was a happier memory, of us in the kitchen experimenting with new recipes. True to his word, Edward hadn't left me, even when I deserved him to. We were laughing, and I spoon fed him the fluffiest damn omelette anyone, _anywhere_ had ever had.

Edward's eyes rolled back into his head. "Oh god." He moaned, and I laughed at him again. He swallowed and then chuckled. "Okay, that was the easy stuff. Let's experiment with the things you _aren't_ sure about."

I immediately went for the recipe I was the most unsure about. It startled me for a moment, because my usual plan of attack when it came to recipes was to show my best, throw in something terrible, and then show another excellent one. But it was only Edward and I in the kitchen. Jasper, Alice, Emmett, Rose, and Edward's parents—who ridiculously showed up for every test recipe for the free gourmet food when they could just as easily _buy_ a gourmet restaurant—were still on their way.

I had cornered Edward early _because_ I was so unsure of this recipe. I smiled and went ahead with it, not all at surprised I always trusted Edward with my insecurities. Even Alice, my closest, most trusted friend didn't know half as much as Edward did.

I was being dragged again, pulled away from this memory prematurely. I wanted to re-watch the change in Edward's face when he took the first bite. Re-live the fear when his expression went blank, and then the giddy relief when Edward—Edward the refined, the super hygienic all out clean freak—licked his plate.

The moment I was where I was next though, I happily eased into the memory.

I was woken by the feeling of something light and smooth being pulled down my body. There was an accompanying feeling of exposure, and then the chill of air against my skin.

My eyes didn't open right away. I knew that I was in our bed, I listened instead to a strange sound, like something softly scraping in irregular patterns against paper. A pencil then? Edward had never brought work into bed with him before. I guessed it was early morning, not far past midnight.

Unable to figure out what he was doing, I gave up and opened my eyes, about to ask him what was wrong. He was usually in the library by this point, playing piano—he had wanted sound proof rooms, but I loved to hear the swelling notes weave themselves through the house. His music had been the background to so many dreams, always chasing away the nightmares. Usually he was reading, though if his insomnia was really bad, he was in his exercise room.

Edward was leaning, propped up on one elbow, a long white paper pad in front of him, a pencil loosely held between his fingers. His eyes narrowed at the page in a way that made me think it had offended him. He erased something, and then looked up at me.

In the moment before his face flashed terror, it had been the expression of someone seriously appreciating a piece of art. It was the expression art-critics wore when they walked into a museum of fine art, and it started me.

Now, though, he looked about to jump out of his skin.

He cursed quietly, scrambling to close and hide the pad from me. He shoved it all in the middle drawer on the bedside table beside his side of the bed. He turned to meet my startled curious eyes with huge, guilty green ones.

I raised one eyebrow, and when he didn't move, I sighed and moved closer to him. "What was that about?"

Edward held me tightly against him, his arms warm and strong around me. "I love you." He murmured. "I love to watch you sleep, but when I try to stay with you _all_ night I always wake you up. Which defeats the purpose."

I nodded with this, remembering the times when he had stubbornly lain with me all night. The first time I had grinned and bared it when he kept me up most of the night with his constant tossing and fidgeting. The fourth time, exhausted from a long day, I had told him to be still or be gone. He'd tried. He had tried so hard, but eventually I had just planted my foot against his chest and _shoved_.

The sound he'd made hitting the floor was absolutely satisfying.

"So you've found something to occupy your mind in bed then?" I wondered, slowly being lulled back into sleep, his arms so warm. I always fell asleep in Edward's arms, and—unless I woke up during the night, or he was working—I usually woke in his arms too. That was good enough for me, I wouldn't force him to stay with me for the principle of it when I knew it was only our bed he shared.

Edward smiled, and I felt his guard relaxing at my encouragement. The only thing keeping me awake now was the curiosity. Edward, having decided I wasn't going to pack up and leave him because of a new found interest in artistic pursuits, reached back and I heard the drawer open before he hesitantly handed me the book.

I felt suddenly more awake when I sat up, flipping to the first page. There had been a series of lines drawn and on them, music notes. _Bella's Lullaby_ it was titled. _This book is in recognition to the only reason to sleep when I'm already dreaming, _it said underneath all the music. The next page made me blink in shock. It was a soft sketch of my face, undeniably laughing and happy. It was so well done, like he had stopped the moment in time and taken down all the most miniscule details.

I flipped onto the next page, but writing on the back of the first page distracted me. _The happiest sound in the world. I wonder, if I were deaf, if it would be the only sound I would know. I can't seem to hear anything else when she laughs._

"It's true." Edward breathed by my ear. "It doesn't matter where we are, when you laugh, it's the only thing I can hear.

I leaned over and kissed him for a long moment, and then pulled away, feeling suddenly self-conscious when I realized I was going to give up something of myself in return for this. "When I even think about how your laugh sounds, I smile. It doesn`t matter where I am."

I looked over to the next page, and it was the shape of a gorgeous woman under the thin veil of a sheet. It wasn't until I found the tangle of hair on the pillow that the understanding really set in that _this_ was how Edward saw me. I couldn't help but stair at it. I knew Edward thought I was beautiful. It would have been a very lack lustre relationship if he didn't. On those, rare occasions, though, that I was reminded to what degree, I was always staggered.

Awed.

Another little note on the back of the page. As the art went on, it got bolder. When we started hitting ones where I was completely naked, more than just my breasts visible, the bare shape of my legs and my shoulders, Edward quickly assured me that this was only for him. Apologized profusely if it made me uncomfortable. He promised me that if I asked him to burn these and never draw another, he would torch them in a heart beat.

I wasn't having any of that. If I were talented to enough to draw like this, I knew what _my_ motivation would be.

I believed him when he said no one else knew about it because if _I_ was just learning of its existence, and I lived with him...well, I trusted it was in safe hands.

Not all of them were of my sleeping. Some were absurdly high detailed drawings of my eyes, or the shape of my lips. Once there was one of a plate of food with a reverent note on the back about my cooking. And a little something about a naked chef.

I blushed.

Most of them _were_ me sleeping, but I suppose that's to be expected if this was where he did most of his sketches, and since we usually _did_ have sex at least two times a week...yes, I was usually in a marvellously naked state of blissful, undress.

We hit the last page and Edward sighed at the erased sketch, little grey lines still faintly outlining the shape of my body. "I was trying to draw how you looked in my arms, but I couldn't seem to get it." He sighed mournfully. "I still can't grasp how a being so celestial can exist in my arms. It's baffling to me how divinity and humanity...somehow come together like this." He pulled me closer to him, fitting me so easily into him, my body already having memorised the shape and forming to him.

I let him hold me like that for a long time, and then I sighed and pulled away. The sides of Edward's mouth turned down slightly, and I felt the weight of letting go of him too, but Edward had given me this, and suddenly there was something I was desperate to give back to him.

I walked into the bathroom, pulled out my birth control....

And flushed them all.

****_****

I suppose by now, I shouldn't even try to hold onto the memories when my subconscious was obviously on a mission. I couldn't help it though, it seemed like the memories kept ending too soon, glancing over all the inconsequential's that might not mean much to someone else, but were the very fabric of my joy, my life with Edward. And dammit I wanted to relive in the vivid detail of this dream that night I had stayed up all night with Edward talking and laughing. I had finally felt so...easy. So relaxed.

I couldn't hold onto it though, and soon I was somewhere else. The moment I saw where I was, I instantly changed my mind. _This_ was where I wanted to be.

I was giggling madly, half heartedly trying to escape from where Edward had tossed me over his shoulder. The laughter was due to the fact that Edward had come in from work, dropped his bag on the floor and promptly informed me that he wanted me.

Right. _now_.

Edward tossed me down onto the bed lightly, and then climbed over me. The giggles and playful struggling only stopped when Edward kissed me deeply. The snap of electricity when he touched me was so expected, it was as real and secure as the tactile awareness of his skin on mine.

Edward's hand was slowly making it's way up my shirt, teasing the skin as he climbed. If not for the wicked smile, anyone would have thought that it was the first time he was touching me.

While he was content with his soft and slow enticement, I was already kicking his pants off. I—unwillingly—separated our lips long enough to pull his shirt off. While Edward was now stripped, hard and ready, he was _just_ palming my breast through my thin bra.

I growled at him, frustrated. Sexually so. Edward burst into a grin so wide at the sound that our teeth clicked together. It didn't matter how many times I jumped him as he rounded the corner, Edward still felt a thrill at the knowledge I wanted him. Even if it was only an impatient sound brought about by his unwarranted taunting.

"Edward, _please_." I begged. Nothing. I huffed, "Screw you." I grumbled under my breath, realizing that he just wanted to remind me how easily he could work my body up into a frenzy.

Edward smiled against my collar bone. "I intend to."

I moaned, my heart fluttering in excitement. Edward laughed lowly, "I love you, so, so much. Even if you _are_ impatient as hell."

I didn't laugh, as I'm sure he expected me to. I trembled in a sudden bout of nerves. Edward seemed to catch on, stopping with the teasing, replacing it instead with tender kisses along my shoulders, waiting for me. For what? It took me a moment before I realized there was a message that I needed to get across to him.

The best way to say this—I decided in a fit of cowardice—was in actions rather than words. I took him in my hands, positioning him. Edward groaned lowly at the touch, and then kissed me passionately. For a moment it seemed like he knew what I was trying to do, and I was really quite proud of my non-verbal communication skills.

I only realized as Edward gave a resigned sigh and reached down for a condom what had really been happening. Edward thought I had forgotten about my lack of pill, and he had considered taking advantage of that. An accident in the heat of the moment. I knew he wanted children, but until that moment, I didn't know how much.

When Edward had seen my empty birth control container he guessed they were bothering me, and he went back to condoms_. _Edward didn't realize I was really letting the drug fade entirely from my system. And maybe stalling just a tiny bit.

I couldn't even find it in myself to be angry at him for his inner struggle, only a deep settling guilt. I had held this from him. In all he had given me, I had held this from him. And all because I was _afraid_.

I took the condom from him when he brought it up to rip it. Edward watched me uncomprehendingly as I put it on the desk. "Bella," he murmured slowly, an inexplicably kind tone to his voice. "Did you hit your head today?"

"No." I answered, a little taken aback. I went back over my day quickly, through my hectic morning in the restaurant when an unexpected table of eight came in with no forewarning, I had cut my hand descaling whitefish blastula, and then I had closed up for the night with no significant drama. "No, I didn't. But my dishwasher didn't clean out the sink. Again." I sighed.

Edward didn't smile, he just stared at me, searching my face. "Bella...have you changed your mind?" He murmured quietly, barely daring to hope.

I hadn't thought I would have been able to smile with the way my lips trembled, but somehow, I did. I nodded at him and Edward kissed me deeply and I thrilled at the feelings I felt expressed in it. Gave them back to him, not quite daring to let him see the doubts.

He gently slid into me. Maybe it was that after two months of condoms the feel of skin on skin was so much fresher than I remembered or that the trepidation that set my nerves off like live wires, but this felt so much _better_ than it had ever felt before. I moaned softly and Edward's arms tightened around me.

We moved softly against each other. It seemed like Edward was trying to assure me, but I _was_ sure of Edward. That was the only reason I could do this. And if I my worst fears were realized and I was a terrible mother, I _knew_ Edward would be there to help me.

"I love you—" I started.

"So much, Bella. So, so much." He gasped into my skin and then started kissing down my throat in light, barely-there kisses.

I tried to hide my smile and failed miserably, "—But I need you to move faster." I finished.

Edward groaned, and if his lips hadn't sealed themselves to mine frantically, I would have cried out at the feeling of him. It was the kind of frenzied energy that left me glowing for the next week and a half, if only because of how it felt like he couldn't get enough of me.

I started shaking, the whole of my being squeezing, tightening into the very centre of my body.

Edward knew my body better than I did. "Bella, yes." He groaned, and then his angle shifted, and I was gone.

I think I screamed. I might have scratched him trying to get closer than the skin on skin we already were. I might have sang _over the rainbow_ for all I was aware. I was having a bit of an out of body experience and considering I was sure I saw the sun explode into a flurry of colours, knowing Edward was close was pretty good for my sex induced delusional high.

It took me a long moment, but eventually I came back enough into myself to find I was lying halfway across an out of breath Edward. I grinned stupidly at him. "Edward. That was just...wow." How was it that sex seemed to get better the more we were together?

Edward grinned hugely, eyes closed, and pumped his fist back in a gesture of victory. I laughed at his mock, and then kissed his chest, resting there contently. He hummed in his throat, keeping his arm around me.

I had to get up though to make dinner. Edward pulled me back down when I tried to sit up. "Where do you think you're going?"

I stared at him, and then narrowed my eyes. "You got into the vending machines again, didn't you?"

"No." Edward said unconvincingly, eyes wide. I usually tried to leave something for Edward to take into work to eat, but he admitted that he usually ate lunch and supper in one sitting, no matter how much he took. At my look Edward made a face. "It's your own fault." He sniffed, "It always smells too good. I have to beat the rest of them off with a stick, and _that_ works up an appetite."

I sighed in pseudo disappointment. "I don't get it. You have a gourmet chef under your roof—"

"And in my bed."

"—and you eat stale chips and bruised apples instead of asking me to bring something more for you."

Edward shrugged, "You're busy." He saw me about to start up our old argument and he cut me off. "But that's not really the point. I wanted you to stay in bed so we could talk. I want to know what changed."

I sobered, watching my fingers trace nonsense patterns on his chest, tracing the defined line of his abs. "Honestly?"

"Of course."

"Nothing." I said, and then looked up at him. "Nothing actually changed. I'm still terrified that I'm going to screw our kid up, or that he'll hate me, but I realize now that you will be there. We aren't my parents. You're not going to leave me when I gain a baby weight, and get hormonal and kick you out of bed at two a.m. to get me chow mien, or when neither of us is sleeping more than two hours a night and my breasts are so sore you'll have to sleep on the floor... You'll just be there."

Edward smiled, and then pulled me close. "Of course I will, silly girl. I've been there to the point where some might categorize my devotion to you as stalking." We laughed at how Edward used to climb in through my window, and then Edward sighed and made a face, looking away.

"What?" I asked, worried he'd finally gotten past the joy of finally gaining his children, to berate me for waiting so long.

"Will I _actually_ have to sleep on the floor?"

---***---

I was shaken awake, gentle at first, but as I tried to fall back to sleep, more forcefully. "Bella, love? We have to go soon, I let you sleep in."

I pulled the blanket up over my face. "No I don't, Emily is opening the restaurant today."

"Do you remember why she had to open today?" Edward pushed, and something dinged in my conscious. He had said _we_ have to go. I usually opened alone, except on Edward's days off, but even then he just usually talked, too scared to get in my way when knives were involved. Especially if the dishwasher didn't clean out the sinks.

Then I was holding knives, _and_ pissed.

Edward shook me again. "Bella, please? Don't you want to see our baby?"

The b-word had me up in an instant.

Right, today was my first ultrasound. I sat bolt upright in bed and stared at Edward with huge eyes. Edward chuckled at my expression, "I'll have breakfast ready by the time you get down stairs." His kissed my cheek while I tried for his lips.

I frowned at him, "Oh no, that's cheap. I want a real kiss."

"Bella, the bacon is going to be black if I stay."

"I like crispy."

Edward chuckled shaking his head and backing away in a way that seemed cautious to me. Trying not to be lured in I guessed. Damn. "And you wonder why I'm such a bad cook with all these distractions around." He swooped in at the last moment though to capture my lips, and then pulled away just as quickly. "See you downstairs."

Edward placed a hand on my stomach, "and see _you_ in six months."

-_-_-_-***-_-_-_-

"I hate these chairs."

Edward's green eyes flashed with humour. "Really? I quite appreciate the design. And the view."

I scowled at him. Little—_big, huge, freak of nature_—butterflies battered my stomach insistently. Edward was happily grinning by my feet, rubbing my ankles reassuringly since there was a table by my side. I took a deep breath in through my nose, and then slowly let it out through my mouth. Everything was going to be fine. I knew that.

The obstetrician walked in then, "Good breathing Mrs. Cullen." He smiled and I blushed. I felt a reassuring squeeze on my ankle, but I was watching him prep as he asked us questions and Edward answered most of them for me, sensing my discomfort, acting as a buffer between me and the actual settling fear I felt right now.

I already knew the spiel, but I tried to pay attention anyways.

The chill of the gel on my stomach started me back into the real world. Dr.—don't laugh, it's actually his name—hymen, smiled. "Ready?"

Edward was done with the table. He pushed it out of the way and sat beside me, taking my hand. The doctor put the scope on my stomach, and then there was a blob on the screen.

My grip tightened as I waited for the screen to clear. I waited to see the defined shape of something somewhat human. Edward's hand sudden squeezed too tight, but I still wasn't seeing what I was expecting.

There was _something_ there, that was for sure, but it just looked like a blob of twitchy jellyfish stuff. I couldn't even tell which end was the head.

I felt a wave of disappointment. Wasn't some kind of motherly instinct supposed to kick in when I saw him...her...whatever it was? If not make me absolutely sure of myself, than at least be able to tell where my baby started and ended at.

Then suddenly there was fear. This wasn't how a sonogram was supposed to look at twelve weeks. Something was wrong. I turned to Edward, hoping that something would tell me different but he was just staring at the screen with huge eyes, not breathing.

The doctor smiled at us, a real smile and Edward brought a hand to his mouth. "Oh my god. Bella."

The doctor wouldn't smile if I was carrying some mutant spawn, right? Wasn't that good? "Congratulations." Dr. Hymen grinned, "Twins."

My heart stopped, and then I saw that the little double pod I was looking at was focused on their heads. Edward took one look at my face, and then he grinned smugly. "Twins."

"Oh no, no. I said _one_. You're going to have to pick." I could joke, that was good. Even if I did feel a little fuzzy. Twins. Okay, we could do this, we would just get a bigger cradle.

I refused to think about the actual _birth_ just yet. I hadn't even gotten my head around one.

Edward was mouthing enie menie minie moe between the two heads when the ultra sound shifted a bit, looking for a better picture, and then suddenly everyone stopped again.

Because I had been looking at the two bodies, rather than trying to find one whole, I saw what made them both stop this time.

"You greedy little bastard."

Edward whipped around to face me fully. "I swear, this one isn't my fault. _Twins_ run in my family, Bella. Triplets are all yours."

The doctor cleared his throat uncomfortably. I suppose to someone who didn't know us, he wouldn't understand that this was how we joked under stress. Or _I_ joked at least, Edward was just good enough not to be bothered by it.

"Actually, it's a little of both. These two"—he circled two little big headed humanoids—"are identical." He looked as us warily. "Good luck. And this one, I'm guessing, is from you dropping two eggs at once." He watched us carefully, and then smiled again, seeming to be unable to help it. "I can hopefully give you the sex of the babys in a month and a half, Bella's uterus lining is a little thick, so I suggest coming back at nineteen weeks instead of eighteen. I'll give you two a moment."

Edward was staring at the screen, paused on our children. I suppose this was karma's way of biting me in the ass for making Edward wait so long. I was going to be twenty-seven with three children.

Oh my god. Three children.

I didn't even have that many arms. And what about feeding them all? Would I be able to meet the demand?

If I had shoes on, I'd throw one at Edward.

He still hadn't looked at me. "Edward?" I whispered. He didn't move for a long moment. Finally he turned, and the smooth, easy, confident half smile lasted about as long as it took for him to meet my eyes. The moment our eyes met, his face broke, and what I had just seen hints of simmering underneath the surface broke free. Joy and fear, rapture that out weighed his doubts, excitement and, most of all, a love that burned so bright it hurt.

Or was that mine for him?

Edward had been so easy about all this, so confident. I had questioned my self, wondering if I should too. Now that I knew he was just as scared as I was, I felt a sudden weight lift off my chest as three tiny heart beats fluttered inside me.

"You ready?" Edward whispered.

For the terrible nights where I would get no sleep, and then go to work in a hectic kitchen the next day? For the morning sickness? The cravings for ridiculous things? For giving birth? For adjusting to life as a mother who needed six arms?

For him?

For us?

For _children_?

I managed a smile, my own fears on display, my heart swelling with joy and love, growing in wonderful, painful ways that consumed me.

"You know, I think I am."

**The End.**


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